July 4, 2003
(Only one little funny spoiler this week.)
Cough! *.*! Gasp!*@@*!
Can’t find my keyboard..Cough!!..through the smoke. Aaah, it’s clearing
now. Man those fireworks can be lethal. I bet all the mosquitoes in our
neighborhood died. That’s why I couldn’t write a column. Yeah. That’s
it. It wasn’t that my friend gave me a great,
can’t-put-this-down-sorry-the-kids-are-starving book that I started on
Friday night and didn’t finish until Sunday afternoon. My fingers finally
found their way to the keyboard and I don’t have much to say. This week I
watched GH, I enjoyed GH, and I couldn’t seem to formulate many coherent
thoughts so it’s a short column. Hey! Who said yippee in the corner? I
In previous columns, I’ve
mentioned that I tend to talk to my television while watching General
Hospital. It’s true, I offer advice and comments freely. In my opinion I
am quite witty and wise and occasionally, the characters appear to be
listening which strokes my ego. This week was proceeding well until
Friday when Faith kissed Sonny in the park on the 4th of July.
My immediate reaction was “Eewwww, don’t do it Sonny.” Then I replayed
the segment and noticed that Sonny wasn’t diving in with the hot eyes and
passion Carly receives. So as Carly’s heart broke in the next scene as
she saw the nasty smooch I had to tell her it’s OK, Sonny’s faking and
look, he turned his head away from Faith and her luscious ruby red lips.
Faith puts the moves on Sonny, while Carly tries not
to throw up.
Jason had a bad day that
lasted all week. On Monday, he felt an overwhelming urge to throw Ric
against a wall and choke him demanding to know Carly’s whereabouts. After
yelling between Liz and Courtney, Jason was arrested. At the PCPD Sonny
played suck up to Ric so Ric wouldn’t press charges and then scolded Jason
for having an independent thought hat Ric took Carly. Later at the club,
Courtney tried to convince Jase that he’s fixated on Ric and scaring her
with his Ric obsession. That was bad enough but then Sonny invited Faith
into the club because Sonny played let’s make a deal with the Feds. Jason
tried to tell him it was a bad idea and the Feds were looking in the wrong
direction but would Sonny listen? No. Top it off with big brother tears
when Emily shared her cancer news and it was a rough week for my favorite
Jason and Sonny give each other a headache.
Poor Jase, stuck between needing Tylenol and
Brothers by blood / Brothers by choice.
Psycho Bert and Ernie / Butch Cassidy and the The
“What can I do to inspire
your confidence? Would you like a little couple’s counseling? Maybe we
could talk to a priest. Or maybe we could practice. Want to go on a
trial date?” I think it’s good that Sonny is forced to put up with
Faith. Hopefully, it will build character and remind him that the world,
which revolves around Sonny, only exists in his mind. However, I am on
Sonny’s side when it comes to allowing Faith in the penthouse. She
poisoned her own Grandmother, the contract shooter and now Elizabeth. No
liquid is safe in her vicinity. She’d probably poison the cooking oil and
toilet tank water given the chance.
Never trust a woman who goes from prison blue
to black widow duds in one day.
“Hit me. Quick. Just hit
me. Will you? Right now, just hit me.” Sonny instructed Courtney who
complied with enthusiasm. Afterwards, Sonny looked at Courtney with an
expression that said, “Girl, I said hit me. Not ball up your fist and
throw a right hook.” Be careful what you wish for Sonny, you just might
get it. And did everyone understand that Courtney doesn’t approve of
Sonny seeing “Faith, the Psycho MOB Slut”? Good one, Courtney. I would
have called her that too had I thought of it first.
Courtney takes her Tae Bo seriously.
Black widow Faith entertains
me. Her push every boundary to the limit attitude makes her unique and
offers unending possibilities when it comes to irritating those around her
– Courtney, Silly Rabbit; Liz, Brave Little Waitress; Jason, Killer. At
the same time, she’s her own worst enemy. She can’t understand Sonny’s
grief over Carly who Faith dismissed as not pretty enough to be a trophy
wife and not smart enough to be a real partner. Ric’s devotion to Liz
frustrates her because she thinks all he has to do is dismiss dreary Liz
from his mind and he’ll see how perfect Faith fits with Ric. I used to
love to hate Carly but I can’t muster the feeling anymore since she keeps
evolving into a dysfunctional but better person. So now I get to love to
hate Faith, the Viper, the Black Widow, the Psycho MOB Slut.
Sing with me now…Lorenzo
likes Carly. Lorenzo likes Carly. Lorenzo likes Skye. Lorenzo likes
Faith. He has a zing with every woman he’s met so far, except Liz. Is it
chemistry? Charisma? A little of both? Whatever he’s emitting I see an
affect with Carly, Skye, and Faith.
Quiet – Chick Magnet at Work
OK, enough of the kissy,
sticky face, goo goo eyes, hair stroking, cuddle routine between Liz and
Ric. No one else gets to be happy and they’ve been tenderly dewy eyed for
long enough. I’m developing an unpleasant gag reflex towards them. Other
than snakebite, a push down stairs, a miscarriage, and a poisoning they’ve
hogged all the happiness for the past few weeks. On the 4th
only Ric and Liz watched the fireworks with happy hearts. Well, Zander
and Gia kissed through the fireworks inadvertently hurting Emily, but we
know Emily’s gonna interrupt that budding romance with some grains of
painful truth in the next few minutes.
This was the only happy goin’ on all day.
If Maxie’s going to pant
after Kyle and Georgie’s falling for Dillon, I guess Lucas is going to
have to find a girl who’s not related to him. And I have to confess that
when Georgie and Dillon interrupted Maxie and Kyle on the couch I enjoyed
the view of Kyle without his shirt. Very nice indeed, I thought feeling
like a dirty old lady. I enjoyed the view but I didn’t fantasize so I
think I’m OK. Or is that like saying I smoked but I didn’t inhale?
I swear, I only looked. I didn’t fantasize.
Alice kissed Dobson and made
the horrifying discovery that Dobson is Alexis. I was right there,
horrified and embarrassed with poor Alice with a fake mustache on her
lip. But where was the anger over being tricked? I want more. More
Alice letting Alexis have it for tricking her and hurting her. How about
some apologies from Alexis for blatantly using Big Alice to be close to
Kristina? The best part of the scene, other than the five seconds of
horrified Alice ripping the beard off Alexis’ face, was the pure joy on
Skye’s face as she witnessed the reveal. It’s not that I wish bad upon
Alexis, but if she’s gonna get busted, let her get busted big time!
Busted Fiendishly Happy
Quick, someone hand me a
permanent marker, cause I want to write Ain’t Got No Sense across A.J.’s
forehead. How dare he turn into a self-righteous prig because Alexis
refused to sabotage herself and help him obtain custody of Michael. And
why would A.J. think Alexis would touch his offer of more time with
Kristina with a ten-foot pole? Duh, A.J. Did you forget that recently
you kidnapped Kristina and Alexis knows it? But all that aside, it was
nice to have A.J. and his new hairdo on screen for a day.
Sportin’ a new do, doesn’t have a clue.
If a person fell over a bluff
a few days ago, don’t you think others would make a point of standing back
from the deadly cliff? Maybe a sign saying, “anyone past this point
subject to death by falling.” How about a railing along the edge? Lucky
haunted the bluff and Nicholas, Scotty, Stefan, Dr. Cam and Lydia have
visited with him there. Nicholas and Emily shared a great kiss there
while Lydia hid among the bushes. I tried not to enjoy the kiss, tried to
reign in my wayward romantic heart, told myself that it was a sizzling
anomaly, but I didn’t believe me. I’m not a happy camper that Emily and
Zander haven’t reconnected for more than five minutes, but Emily and Nik
are pulling me in. Darn it!
Chemo and kisses, life’s looking up for Emily.
What is up with the heads
among boulders and bushes on Spoon Island? Is it a fad, a virus, an
elaborate game of Hide N Seek that the viewers haven’t been made privy
to? Perhaps it’s a rare outbreak of Camouflage Syndrome in which the
person infected doesn’t realize they’ve fallen prey to the sickness, which
causes the carrier to duck behind the nearest bush or rock to hide from
Luke and Darius
Lucky and Lydia
It’s the very exclusive Boulder Head Club
My favorite spoiler for this
week came from
GHH2. “Ric prepares to do
something unthinkable.” REALLY? Unthinkable?
More unthinkable the letting a woman believe he’d raped her? More
unthinkable than making that woman worry whether the baby she was carrying
was her husband’s child or the result of the rape? More unthinkable than
kidnapping the pregnant woman, planning to hold her prisoner until she
gives birth and then dumping her? Really? More unthinkable than any of
those fiendish deeds? I’d say what more unthinkable act could he
possibly do, except my mind immediately conjures several possibilities, so
I’m not gonna go there. Besides, that’s what spoilers are for.
Don’t bother me now, Doc.
I am Ric, Thinker of Unthinkable Thoughts.
I want to play a game. I’ll
write a paragraph describing a character climbing into bed and his
thoughts. You guess which person’s head I’m trying to climb into. Some
will be obscenely easy and others hopefully not so easy. E-mail’s at the
bottom of the page, tell me your guesses and I’ll tell you who I was
putting to bed. I want to call this game…
NIGHT, NIGHT JOHN
With a sigh of relief, he
tossed the last report on the dresser and moved to the drink bar. He
paused before taking a sip gazing into space and considering his bleak
future, completely unaware of the opulence surrounding him. Was a life of
business and duty what he had to look forward to? He remembered fun, had
experienced carefree a time or two, and he had friends. But what about
passion? Desperately, he craved the freedom to feel passion and intense
emotion. Deciding to call it a night he stretched out on top of the
luxuriously soft comforter hands behind his head. Tomorrow, he thought as
his body relaxed, tomorrow he’d face duty and pursue his best friend’s
She looked into the mirror
performing her night routine without registering herself. She was what
she was and even if she occasionally fantasized a different life, she
accepted her place in the world. Living in beautiful surroundings, a part
of the everyday fabric, she remained separate from those around her.
Knowing there was much to be thankful for she gave her red hair a final
tug with the brush and tried to push her ennui away. Settling into
comfortable sheets in her comfortable room, she finally let the thoughts
free. Was it so wrong to love and yearn to be loved in return? Briefly,
she’d grasped infatuation and mistakenly called it love. She’d learned
the folly of seeking love with a person she barely knew. Resignation
swept through her. There was something to be said for a steady paycheck,
a full belly and a roof over her head she supposed as she drifted into
The bed called to him but
he couldn’t make himself lay down on it. Prowling, pacing, thinking - if
he could only stop the thinking for a little bit - he denied his body’s
demand for rest. Because he knew as soon as he caved in and lay down the
images and demons would creep into his mind swirling into pictures of
violence and death. He tried to deny them entrance by working and
drinking but sometimes he’d find himself awake and in the middle of a
nightmare created by terror and uncertainty. Sighing, he finally forced
himself to settle on top of the satin sheets and close his eyes. Dear
God, please let this nightmare end soon.
Remember a while ago when I
told you about the show called Orange County Choppers? Which was the
wrong name as the show is actually called American Chopper.
Anyway, on Friday, after the food and before the fireworks my husband and
I were visiting with most of the folks on our street (we live in a
cul-de-sac so we all know each other fairly well) and my husband brought
up that show. Faster than you can say cool bikes, several pairs of ears
perked up as people turned and said, “You watch that show too?” Turns out
about five other couples regularly watch American Chopper on the
Discovery Channel. Maybe it’s a case of wackos of a feather, flock
together or perhaps it’s a fun show gaining in popularity. Is anyone else
out there watching? Have a wonderful week full of sunshine, music, and
good company. Thanks for reading.
Photo credit for this week:
Sage used this picture in his column a week or so
I love this picture.
A man who looks good in his jeans, especially a man
who looks good in his jeans and isn’t wearing a shirt - one of life’s free