Comments through April 18, 2003
(One spoiler mention)

You remember last week when I was in a super happy mood?  I’m still there but a dose of mockery seems to have set in.  Things became funny to me this week and the comments rolled from my head, through my fingers, on to the keyboard, into a file, and over the ‘net to Katrina who is kind enough to let me vent weekly.  Let the good times roll! 

The title for GH this week is “Satisfying”.  Courtney slugged Faith.  Jason finally let loose on Ric.  Sonny figured out that Ric is Faith’s mysterious silent partner.  Skye told Jax where he could stuff his white knight sympathy.  Carly confronted Ric about their “night” together.  Coleman showed up on my screen.  Tracey and Skye traded barbs.  Luke visited Laura and suffered heartache.  Em and Zander moved closer.  And Big Alice uttered a few lines and went after Tracey.  Yep, it was a good week!

I knew, Sonny knew when he offered to shake.                                    When Luke hurts, I hurt too. 

On Monday, it was nice to see Sonny feeling a bit more calm and rational.  I’m glad he was able to sleep.  Just one comment.  Note to Sonny and Spouses Everywhere:  If your spouse or significant other gently suggests that you might want to take a shower.  You probably need a shower.  Take the hint.

Sonny didn’t shower.  Carly wore this cool shirt that I really liked.

A very long time coming, Carly confronted Ric about their night together.  Carly screamed at him and refused to listen to his responses.  (After she hit him in the face and kneed him in the groin.)  It really doesn’t matter how he tries to justify, he’s filthier than the silt on the bottom of a scummy pond.  If he did the deed, he took advantage of a drugged woman and date rape definitely applies.  If he didn’t have sex with Carly, but told her he did, he still took advantage of a drugged woman.  I read a spoiler which implied that Ric is Sonny’s half brother and he’s not connected to Lilly.  If so, that’ll be the only thing keepin’ Sonny and Jason from killing him. 

Chant with me now…”Ric’s gonna get it!  Ric’s gonna get it.”

Ric’s week didn’t go well.  Jason held a gun on him while Sonny demanded again to know what Ric really wanted.  Carly screamed at him and dished out some physical pain.  Coleman, a blackmailing expert, demanded an 8th cash payoff.  Jason inflicted his own brand of pain in front of Kelly’s.  And Faith threatened for the 43rd time to expose Ric as her silent partner.  Ric did have sex on a couch with Liz in his new apartment but those scenes were almost painful to watch because his declaration to Liz that with her he’s his real self made him appear shadier, since his real self keeps deteriorating.

This wasn’t as satisfying as Jason finally punching smug, smart mouth Ric in front of Kelly’s.

Courtney made the heartbreaking sacrifice and broke up with Jason so Sonny would stop worrying about her.  I’m wondering how do the bad guys know she broke up with Jason, alleviating the omnipresent danger floating around her?  Maybe there’s a Super Secret Internet MOB Message Board where important information gets posted to save the innocent.   

IMPORTANT BREAKING NEWS:  Jason Morgan, Enforcer for Sonny Corinthos

 the Biggest Baddest MOB Boss on the Eastern Seaboard, more powerful than

THE FIVE FAMILIES, broke up with Courtney Matthews, Sonny’s sister.

Please remove Courtney’s name from all hit lists.   

Somebody better make sure Faith and Ric know the secret message board password and read the notice.  And now Courtney won’t need guards so she’s free to run out on her shifts at Kelly’s whenever the mood strikes her.  Yes, that’s a little slam.  Liz questioned why Courtney showed up to work and Courtney vehemently replied, “No one’s pushing me out.”  Huh?  Since Courtney rarely works and when she does, she leaves at whim, it’s kinda hard to give her a gold star for dependability. 

How come Jason can get bopped on the head, knocked unconscious, and he doesn’t even act like he’s sportin’ a headache?  He probably carries high power Tylenol in his pocket for these common enforcer unconscious-in-the-alley situations.  Jason should feel lucky; Tylenol wasn’t an option for Fowler, Faith’s smirky goon.  I can take a body in the dumpster, but did they have to show the blood running down Fowler’s face?


Jason got bopped.                                                    Fowler got dead. 

Proving once and for all that she’s not a whuss, Courtney drew back her fist and let Faith have it!  It was good.  And it satisfied in a forceful way the irritation I’ve felt at Faith’s nonstop threatening smugness.  In terms of backbone, Courtney definitely moved up several notches.  Carly, unable to bear the sidelines, stepped in and threatened Faith with scalding coffee, a weapon that was once effective with A.J. at Kelly’s.  I was sitting up and yelling, “All right!”  But then Faith topped both Courtney and Carly with the kiss and totally outmaneuvered the two C’s.  Faith strode out of the Kelly’s the skirmish victor by laying that smacker on Courtney - total, effective power move on her part, brilliant acting by Cynthia Preston.

First, the puncher grabs the punchee by the hair and positions her just right

Then the puncher lets loose, sure to follow through with big arm motion.

The punchee dramatically throws herself upon the furniture behind her.

Loud shrieking accompanies the punch. 

In an unexpected power move, the punchee macks the puncher and strides out the door.
And the surprise winner is?  The punchee.

I’m sitting up, paying attention, thinkin’ Wednesday’s shaping up to be a really good day.  Courtney wiped the smug off Faith’s face, Sonny and Jason threatened Ric, and the Q’s were busily performing the Q mambo.  How looow can you go?  I expected Courtney to be washing her mouth, grossed out by Faith’s move.  It would totally freak me if the person I just decked grabbed my head and kissed me.  And I don’t mean in a nice way.  (OK, so I wouldn’t really deck anybody, but I’m living in Soapland for a minute.) Then Courtney paused in her lip scrubbing to seriously ask Carly, “What if that was the kiss of death?  Like in the movies.”  Sigh.  Two steps forward Courtney, one step back.  You had me hooked until you made the teenybopper comment.  Whoever wrote that line should be embarrassed.  Also, where was Liz during the Courtney-gets-a-backbone scene?  If anyone needed to see Courtney reach her limit and lash out, Liz did.  Cause I’m out of sympathy regarding Liz and her snarky remarks and disgusted expressions. 

Did you catch the psychic moment?  Courtney paused in cleaning a table and stepped outside.  She then glanced around as though someone had called her name.  And guess what?  Jason walked up from behind her.  That part made me laugh, but I enjoyed the kiss.  Who am I fooling?  I always enjoy the romance when it’s Jason doing the kissing.   

In my head, I was describing the scene above thinking how to write about it and the words flowed like a Harlequin Romance.  As a young teenager, I cut my addicted-to-romance teeth with Harlequins so I feel qualified to make fun now if I want.  Here goes… 

Jason felt pulled towards Kelly’s as though he’d lost his will and his legs had a mind of their own.  He and Courtney had only been apart for 15 minutes (Sorry) 24 hours but his heart ached as though she’d left the country.  Breaking up was the right thing to do for Sonny, they both loved him, but Jason didn’t know how he was going to endure the separation.  Nearing Kelly’s Jason automatically sought the cover of the nearest bush (sorry again, couldn’t help it), Jason paused in the shadows and gazed longingly at the warm interior of Kelly’s where Courtney was busy clearing a table.

Courtney heeds Jason’s call and steps outside.

The ache was a living, growing part of her like the ache in her knuckles from the pounding she’d given the punching bag that afternoon trying to work through her frustration.  And just when Courtney thought it couldn’t’ get worse, she saw the table in front of her.  Covered in spilt milk and sugar, a wad of gum stuck on a plate and partially chewed food smeared all over (oops, tangent).  Covered in partially eaten food, the teenagers who’d just vacated the spot probably thought the mess funny.  Sighing in resignation, she began clearing dishes.  Suddenly, she felt as though someone had called her name.  Like a whisper that only she could hear from the inside, she heard it again.  Compelled by a force she couldn’t deny Courtney pushed open the door and stepped outside into the cool night. 

Intense kissing, hugging, and fantasizing. 

Staying in the shadows wasn’t an option.  Jason moved into the light and stood before Courtney soaking in her every nuance.  She did the same, gazing upon this man who cherished her in a way she thought only happened on daytime soaps (couldn’t help myself), only happened in fairy tales.  Jason cupped her face and slowly, gently kissed her lips.  He wanted to memorize this moment and hold it in his mind like a cool sip of water on a hot day.  Afraid of the intensity of his emotions, he broke the kiss and gathered her against his body… (OK, no more body stuff, I have to stop here.  It’s Harlequin, remember?)  

Well?  Should I stop writing the column and pursue a new career in romance?  I’m thinkin’ I’d get in trouble for adding inappropriate comments. 

The Zander’s brother committed suicide twist has a few holes.  Let me try to understand.  Zander’s brother Pete wanted to save his family the trauma and humiliation of his self destruction, so he planned a suicide that would look like an accident, setting up his brother to shoot him in a hunting accident.  Dr. Cam never said that two shots were fired so I have to assume Zander shot his brother.  Because it would be sooo loving to allow Little Bro to blame himself for accidentally shooting perfect Big Bro.  Yeah, real nice guy there.  I’d say Pete sounds like a chip off the old ice hearted block, Dr. Cam, if he thought letting Zander shoot him was a kinder, gentler method of dealing with his inner pain.

Zander should cry with relief that he turned out better than his Father and older brother.

The suicide explanation didn’t reveal much.  Did Zander shoot Pete because Pete deliberately positioned himself to be on the deadly receiving end in a tragic hunting accident?  Did Pete shoot himself?  If so, how come Zander didn’t hear a second shot?  Either way, Dr. Daddy Dearest came to town, trashed his son with blame, and then withheld the suicide info until now.  I’m not feelin’ any love here in my corner of the room. 

One of my favorite scenes this week occurred at the PCPD when Emily and Zander were almost arrested for kidnapping Kristina.  Emily was trying to explain (lie) how she ended up with the baby and Zander kept inserting comments. 

Alan to Emily:  Why didn’t you call us?

Zander (incredulously) to Alan:  Nobody trusts you

Monica to Emily:  Emily, why didn’t you call the police?

Zander (disbelieving) to Monica:  Nobody trusts them

What a crack up.  At the PCPD the Quartermaine torch of goodness officially passed to Emily.  Alan told Emily, “You are the soul of the family and we would be lost without you.”  That used to be Jason’s spot.   

Emily receives the Q torch of goodness.

OK, I’ll ask the dumb obvious question.  Why didn’t Emily lock the door when she and Zander played sleepover?  I loved when Edward burst in on them and Emily, outraged, lifted the sheet to cover Zander’s chest.  Cause we can’t have Grandpa gettin’ a gander of Zander’s nipples now can we?  How inappropriate would that be?  Emily and Zander dressed and arrived downstairs where Edward blustered, Alan patronized in between insulting Edward, and Monica vacillated between defending Em and trying to control the situation.  Eww, this is so hard to say.  Ahem, I agree with Edward.  Being a mom with teenagers, I wouldn’t approve my daughter declaring her independence and her right to sleep with whomever she chose under my roof.  My mom perspective just wouldn’t allow that to fly.  I’m still adjusting to my 23 year old having children and I try to never think about how he got them.  Head in sand and rose-colored glasses work well for me. 

Miscellaneous Thoughts 

Maxie and Georgie have been staying by themselves?  Aren’t there laws in New York about child abandonment or allowing minors the run of the house?    

Lucky’s hair should be streaked with blond or dark.  They need to make up their minds because he has some serious roots goin’ on. 

Tracey strolled into the Q bedlam and made a splash.  Her voice grates, her mouth offends, and her expressions enhance.  She’s so good at insults even Alice had to be restrained. 

Tracey and Skye, my two new favorites, traded the best insults I’ve heard in a long time. 

Skye to Tracey after Tracey insulted Sky’s mother:  I’d advise you to watch your mouth, Lady.

Tracey, deliciously reveling in Skye’s response:  Really?  Or what? 

Oh yeah, it’s on.  Let the Q Reject Fiesta begin! 

Alexis kissed Cameron in thanks.  Cameron kissed Alexis and I’m wondering how it felt to Alexis to have that beard and mustache next to her face.  Guess the kiss didn’t pull me anywhere or the facial hair wouldn’t have sidetracked me.

Still not sure about where this is going.

During Friday’s eppy, a nagging detail kept bothering me and I couldn’t figure out what was wrong.  Finally, it dawned on me.  No Sonny and no Carly.  Amazing.  How long has it been since that happened? 

Want to hear about the funny thing that happened on Friday night?  OK, I’ll tell.  On Friday I donned my hoochie mama clothes and greeted my husband when he arrived home.  (No, I’m not tellin’ what hoochie mama clothes are, you make up your own picture.)  He’s an insightful kinda guy so he asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner.  I did.  We decided to try the Saltgrass Steakhouse, a western type restaurant which men with starched jeans, boots with spurs and big belt buckles frequent.  I’m telling you this so you’ll envision western décor in your head.   

Sitting on a bench inside the door, I decided to use the restroom while we waited for our table.  All was fine until I turned to leave the bathroom.  Painted on the door was the word “Men”.  It was not a huge restroom, but I tend to lose my sense of direction inside buildings so I backed up and looked around.  Yep, the stalls were in the same place, no urinals.  This door was same door through which I’d entered and I was pretty darn sure it said “Women” when I came in.  Taking a deep breath I pushed open the door part of me afraid I’d made a huge error and either went into the Men’s room by mistake or I was getting ready to walk into a Men’s room that bizarrely had a door connected to the Women’s bathroom.  Neither happened, the Women’s door had Men painted on the inside.    

After recovering from my freaky moment of fear that I’d inadvertently used the men’s room (stuff like that happens to me) I started to laugh and I told my husband about the door.  So, my next thought was to wonder if the men’s room had “Women” painted on the inside.  I asked my husband to use the facilities and check it out for me but he refused.  He didn’t have to go and he wasn’t interested in looking at restroom doors. 

Being insatiably curious and impulsive, I turned to the man standing nearest our bench and opened my mouth to ask him if he had to use the bathroom.  In one of the few times when I’ve thought before I spoke, I opened my mouth, he raised an inquiring eyebrow, and then I just smiled and shook my head.  Tick, tick, tick.  Took about five seconds before impulse overruled sense.  I turned to the man’s wife seated next to me and asked, “Does you husband need to use the bathroom?”  Like she would know if her husband had to go.  But somehow, it seemed more acceptable to ask her than him.  She looked startled so I explained about the women’s room door and told her I wanted to know about the men’s room door.  We all had a good laugh and speculated that management had browsed a public restroom door catalogue and chosen multi-purpose doors that could be used for either women’s or men’s facilities.   

We had a fun time until our table was ready.  But darn it, the guy never did check the door for me.  There is no moral to this story.  The food was good, the company excellent (I really am married to the greatest guy even if he won’t check bathroom doors at my whim), and I am still wondering if the men’s room has “Women” painted on the inside of the door.   

Sources say that next week May Sweeps begin for General Hospital.  My, aren’t we the lucky ducks.  Plenty of intriguing spoilers are floating around so hopefully lots of good drama is headed our way.  Have a wonderful week everyone.  And if you go to a Saltgrass Steakhouse, could you check that door for me?  Thanks for reading.   


Photo credit for this week:

The pictures are great.  Lots of hard work and dedication goin’ on here. 


More of Kathy's Work:

Kathy checked out Steve Burton!!!

Take Your Turn "On The Soap Box"
Click Here for Kathy's GH Voting Booth!

Kathy's Archives
April 11, 2003 April 4, 2003 March 28, 2003 March 21, 2003
Mar 14, 2003 March 7, 2003 February 28. 2003 February 21, 2003
Feb 14, 2003 February 7, 2003 January 31, 2003 January 24, 2003
January 17, 2003 January 10, 2003 January 3, 2002 December 27, 2002
December 20, 2002 December 13, 2002 December 5, 2002 November 29, 2002
November 24, 2002 November 19. 2002 November 9, 2002 November 4, 2002
October 27, 2002 October 18, 2002 October 6, 2002 September 27, 2002
September 20, 2002 September 15, 2002 September 9, 2002 September 1, 2002
August 23, 2002 August 18, 2002 August 10, 2002 August 2, 2002