Comments through March 21, 2003

(Couple spoiler mentions) 

I thought about not writing a column this week as war took over the airwaves.  The frivolity of writing pages on imaginary characters seems out of place.  However, my husband pointed out my phrase to my children when Iím watching General Hospital.  I tell them that Iím on vacation.  He also pointed out that visiting Eye On Soaps might represent the same break from sobering life events for others so I decided to go forward.  Not because I donít care whatís happening in the real world, but because I can only tolerate CNN and Headline News for so long and then I need a little distance and a break from reality.  So with utmost respect for world events, I offer this little piece of time out for your entertainment should you need a 5-minute vacation.  Katrina and Sage are working on other entertaining ideas for our little community of readers for the duration of a show called Soaps-Replaced-By-Real-Life.  

Things are becoming clearer on the Cassadine front.  Nicholas searched for a woman who looked like Laura and played Letís Make A Deal with her.  If sheíll distract Luke from realLaura, heíll find Summerís brother.  Since manipulationís in his blood, I should have expected a scheme of this sort.  After all, heís probably in heavy training to obtain his Cassadine Manipulatorís Certification.  Not that heís ready to receive that honor, because he hasnít poisoned anyone Ė yet. 


Working on his blackmail technique.            Practicing emotional manipulation.
Itís the Cassadine way.

My other Nicholas theory involves the P.C. loony theme thatís currently playing on GH.  Gia dumped Nicholas for reasons I still donít understand and left the island.  Do we know where she currently resides?  Which means Nicholas is rambling around the hulking Wyndemere mansion with servants and Ms. Landsbury for company.  I say Nicholas is ripe for some scary mind turns and so hiring a hooker to grab Lukeís attention, leaving Nicky in control his motherís treatment, isnít unreasonable.  Except for the fact that Luke was already trashing his life - chain gang, arson, punching cops to name a few - and Summerís distraction helped him return to reality instead of remaining desperately self destructive.  Now thereís the added complication of Lucky and Summerís attraction.  To which Nicholas responded by attempting to emotionally manipulate Liz into trying to save Lucky from the evil hooker. 

Or perhaps Lukeís vacation time is nearing and Nicholasí sudden airtime can be attributed to an elaborate set up designed to usher Luke off screen.  Weíll see.  Hopefully, Luke off canvas wonít mean Summer disappears.  She brings out Lukeís playful side which makes her OK in my book.  I want her to stick around.  

Iím not crying.  Iím not crying.  Darn!  It must be PMS.  This is a soap and Alexis didnít really lose her baby, at least not for long.  Pollen, mold, allergies Ė somethingís making my eyes water.  Later in the week as Alexis became steadily more desperate to find a way to see Kristina, my heart ached for her.  Sheís kind of backed into a corner since she convinced a judge and her friends that sheís plagued with a murderous alternate personality.  Itís not like she can raise her hand and say, ďUmm, just kidding.  Iím really not crazy.Ē  She should be able to make a miraculous recovery since Dr. Cam follows her everywhere she goes.  Hunched over crying, unable to stand the pain as Ned pushed her out of the gatehouse away from her baby, I was hurting with her.  The scene should have ended there with my emotions riding with her, but here came Lurkiní Lewis to pull her into his arms to comfort her.  The scene concluded with me muttering, ďWhere the heck did he come from?Ē  So much for staying in the emotional moment.

I cried here.                              My heart ached.                    Til Lurker Lewis showed.

Bennyís funeral went off well with all FIVE FAMILIES represented in their five family uniforms Ė overfed powerful men in dark suits, dark overcoats, and dark fedora type hats.  They look so, soÖMafioso.  They make a nice offset for better dressed, fit Sonny - more powerful than five families and law officers everywhere.  

Sonny talks to dead people.  This week he held a conversation with Benny in his casket while Godfather type music played in the background so we would properly appreciate the torment in the mobsterís soul.  Sonny expressed his gratitude for Bennyís service and regret over his death.  Oh, and of course, he blamed himself, because itís always allll Sonnyís fault.

Once, just once I want to see a dead person answer him. 

One of the main reasons I enjoy hanging out at Eye on Soaps is that the opinions expressed here sometimes hit opposite ends but we still appreciate each otherís viewpoints.  I am referring to the scene where Sonny threw Faith out of the meeting with the five families.  For Sherry Mercurio it was the GH deal breaker, while I watched and felt satisfaction.  For me, it wasnít about a man using his power over a woman, that aspect didnít even occur to me.  It was about Faith, town bully for several weeks, finally made to face some consequences.  Faith has plotted, threatened, and invoked violence.  She blatantly uses sex as a manipulative weapon to get her way.  Sonny used sex to humiliate her when he kissed her and spit and then he used his power to kick her out of the meeting.  He handed Faith a little of what sheís been dishing out.  If you canít run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.  Faith not only tried to run with the big dogs, she tried to lead the pack.  However, Sonny has held the leader if the pack spot for a long time.  He skirmished for his position and won.  Bye, bye Faith - for minute or two.  Sheíll return soon, yapping, scheming and enticing.  Taglioti said it best when he told Faith later, ďSonny Corinthos is the same as heís always been Ė smart and deadly.Ē  And Maurice boasts a longer contract.

Big Dog and Little Dog skirmish.
Big Dog kicks Little Dog out of the room while the other dogs gaze in awe.

My absolute favorite scene this week happened in a heartbeat.  Ned sat in Kellyís drinking coffee and reading his newspaper.  Faith slid into the seat opposite him and Ned covered his coffee cup with a saucer.  No words necessary regarding his opinion of Faith and her tactics.  Faith doesnít make I miss you, I want you back believable.  So far, Sonny, Scotty, Ned and Edward have threatened Faith in different ways and each time she lifts those eyebrows, demonstrates that eye roll attitude, and then flashes those snaky legs as she walks away.  The galís all about power.   

Another laugh out loud scene played during the musical montage that showed Sonny and Jason deeply contemplating and missing each other while their respective lovers slept or stood beside them.  I love the friendship between Jason and Sonny.  They both bring out the best in the other and keep each other steady.  I am looking forward to the repair in their relationship.  The part that made me laugh was the turnabout of two guys drawing away from their women to moon over each other.  Itís backwards, Iím warped, and laughing anyway.  Sage nailed the sentiment perfectly with his latest funny page.  If you havenít seen it, click HERE.

Love gone wrong.  Itís so sad Sonny and Jason got their own musical montage.

Courtney told Jason, ďI donít want us to end.  Not ever.  Not for anyone.Ē  To which Jason replied, ďWe wonít.Ē  If thatís not foreshadowing, Iím not a soap fan.  Headlines anyone? 


Perhaps violence and bad attitudes wonít sever ties between Jason and Courtney.  Maybe plain old fire will.  In the loft of love the fireplace is RIGHT NEXT to the bed.  I sure hope one of them doesnít throw off the covers in the night and have them land in the fire.  Iíve noticed several times how closely lit candles are placed around beds during love scenes and I wonder if it freaks the actors.  Donít make any big movements or the set will catch fire. 

Offsetting the currently satisfied Jason and Courtney fans the rest of us had to endure yet another bicker session between Liz and Courtney.  This time it wasnít so bad because I tuned out the words and just admired Lizís red sweater.  I really liked that sweater.

If I knew where to buy it, Iíd be wearing the same sweater tomorrow!

Ric, Ric, Ric (sigh).  When are you going to learn that Sonny doesnít value suck up?  Rick Hearst is doing a great job portraying Ric, the character who canít win enough points to buy a vowel, even though heís a Harvard educated lawyer.  For me, heís a bit like A.J.  Weaselly, but Iím always looking for a tiny hint of redeemability.  Definitely, heís raised the stakes by capturing Lizís attention.  And he can carry off a bare chest scene admirably.  But every time he utters a sentence in the presence of Sonny or Jason, I cringe.  Apparently, he canít grasp that sucking up, blackmailing, and lying donít work in Sonnyís realm. 

The In Crowd                                                   The Guy on the Outside

Ric told Liz that Sonny appreciated his presence at Bennyís funeral and he made a good impression with his Harvard educated self standing beside Sonny and Iím wondering if he really believes the muck flowing from his mouth.  To be fair I donít think heís been informed of Jasonís superpower ability to read when people are lying so Ric really canít be held responsible for trying to pull his little delusions over on Jason.

Delusional Ric informs Liz of his good impression and then attempts to shmooze Jason.
Thereís that great red sweater again.

Iím also wishing TPTB hadnít written the kiss, kiss, jump in bed formula with Ric and Liz.  Why do they think we have to have sex so soon?  I feel so cheap, so used.  Oh, I mean Ric and Liz should feel cheap and used.  Itís all in the romance, the build up, for me and casual sex in the afternoon, without a relationship or a commitment, generally doesn't pull me into a storyline.  Hereís an idea for a new formula concept Ė romance, relationship (throw in a few personal issues, maybe some danger), commitment (dare I say the ďMĒ word?  Marriage), and then more relationship.  Lots of good examples of this formula at work exist in soapland Ė Edward and Lila, Alan and Monica, Luke and Laura, Sonny and Carly.  Need I go on?  OK, Iím getting off my personal soapbox now.   

Edward disgustedly told Monica, ďDonít you ever get tired of being paranoid, Monica?Ē  To which Monica replied, ďWell being paranoid in this family is a sign of sanity.Ē  Then turning to Alan she said, ďPlease, whatever heís up to, please have the good sense to stay away from it.Ē  Alan responded typically, ďFatherís right.  You are paranoid.Ē  Yay for the Qís who entertain even on a bad day.  Which leads me to the problem with Q men and baby snatching - here we go again.  Edward, Alan and A.J. plot to bring baby Kristina into Q custody.  Spoilers say A.J.ís in the forefront, matches in hand, and add in some independent baby plotting with Skye.  If itís true and Skye and A.J. make off with Kristina, I so want a few scenes of the two of them trying to diaper and feed a baby.  Maybe this scheme will define A.J.ís purpose in Port Charles, heís the resident dastardly deed doer.

If you see him with matches, be afraid.

It took awhile but I finally figured out why I kinda like nunuLucky.  He reminds me of my youngest brother in looks and a few mannerisms.  Yeah, heís a hunky, cool and smart, my brother I mean, but heís married and not remotely interested in acting on a soap even though heíd be great soapy material.  Oh well, itís was an amusing thought for a moment. 

Trying to promote a positive outlook, let me say first that I like Maxieís new haircut.  It suits her and makes her look more mature.  Lucas, however, needs a new haircut and a large dose of sensitivity.  A few days ago, he let down Georgie, and he was nice Iíll give him that.  But I guess he used up his sensitivity quota because in front of Georgie he asked Maxie to a party who promptly said yes.  Happy, Maxie agreed because she plans to use Lucas as a path to get close to (have sex with) some never before mentioned guy named Kyle on whom she has a crush.  Insert eye roll here.  What reason do I have to care that Maxieís throwing caution and morals to the wind over a guy sheís never before mentioned?  Iím prepared to like the kids if I had a bit of drama to go on.  Airing less than five minutes a week, what chance to these actors have to pull in viewers?  In real estate itís all about location, location, location.  In soaps itís all about build up, build up, build up.  Give me some of that and Iíll care about the teenagers and their life traumas.



This week I found myself gravitating to SoapNet.  Even a rerun GH offered a short time out from constant news.  Now Iíve found a whole new form of entertainment that never really caught my attention.  The commercials on SoapNet promote an array of fascinating products such as tiny hair removers (why would a person shave hair off a baby), perfect pasta drainer pans, extraordinary long lasting lipstick, plastic storage bags that a person can suck the air out of, products to create perfectly white teeth, and hairstyling gadgets galore.  Iím becoming educated on a whole new level of personal care and household items.  At least I havenít had to endure any orgasmic shampoo commercials lately. 

Iím wondering what the network plans to do with the lost days.  With the two hour anniversary show planned for March 31, how will ABC handle scheduling shows that were pre-empted?  Eventually, life will even out and regular programming will resume.  Who knows, maybe this week.  In no way do I want to dismiss whatís going on with our country, but I know how life cycles around and that adjustments are constantly being made.  Soaps will air again eventually.  Since Iím one of those eternally hopeful people, I plan to think positive, consider storylines, ponder rumors, and hope for the best.  Have a great week everyone.  Thanks for stopping by. 

Photo credit for this week:

If you ever miss a day of GH, check out this site.  The pictures are great.


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