Comments through October 18, 2002
(Couple spoiler mentions)

Taking inventory…dishes done, kids in bed, husband channel hopping, CD playing (Peter Elman on the piano tonight), teeth brushed (I know it’s weird, but I write better if my teeth are brushed), telephone silent.  OK, ready to write, here’s my main thought for the week.  In soaps, there are fatal, foreshadowing words that mean death or destruction to something - a life, health, romance, happiness.  We all know these absolute phases and their variations: 

I will love you, forever/always (means this romance or relationship is going down the tubes in the near future) 

I promise/I swear (whatever it’s referring to, the opposite will happen, soon) 

You know in your heart (I really hate this one, because only I know what’s in my heart thank you very much – means I want you to believe this so I’m going to ram it down your throat until you agree) 

I will never forgive you (means I’ll get over this soon, we’ll probably end up in bed saying I will love you forever or become best friends) 

If a soap character utters any of these phrases be afraid, be very afraid because something dreadful this way comes.  Now consider those phrases and add in the quote by Bob Guza in “Soap Opera Weekly” 9/2002, “Whatever the Internet says we’re going to do, we’ll do something else.”  So I checked over the past few weeks just to see where we stand regarding absolute phrases and Internet predictions.  

On the one hand Elizabeth declared to Jason that he’d “ruined any chance of them being together.”  Usually meaning that in the near future, they will erupt in passion.  However, for months fans have been panting for Jason and Liz to take their romance a step further and predictions ran rampant so perhaps Guza feels the need to play power head writer games to throw off fans.  But, Jason and Liz do have the absolute phrase on their side so maybe there’s hope that Jason and Liz fans will see their lustful wishes fulfilled.  I don’t have any inside info, just ideas about possibilities. 

Alcazar insisted to Brenda more than once that they “belonged together” and that he would never let her go.  Sonny and Carly have had at least a month of declaring their undying love.  Spoilers say that Alcazar kidnaps Brenda, Sonny stows away on the plane, plane crashes.  After the appropriate amount of if-I-can’t-have-you-no-one-can’s, Alcazar must die or disappear in the water (no body found of course).  Brenda and Sonny are stranded on an island.  It’s a soap, sand = passion.  

All I have to say about this is if Sonny and Brenda make waves in the sand, Jason needs to dump Sonny as a friend.  Many moons ago, Jason and Carly began to move towards each other (talk, talk, kiss, talk) then Sonny slept with Carly.  Spoilers say Jason and Brenda marry.  If Sonny sleeps with Brenda, Jason’s wife, Jason should not be OK with this no matter what.  And Sonny…well let’s just say that there are not so nice names tossed about for women who act like Sonny. 

Another example, Jason promised (ominous sign) that he’d protect Courtney from the stalker.  Probably means that Courtney will face down the stalker alone.  And by the way, if I ever turn on my computer and see a picture of myself in real time, I’ll definitely freak.  Shadowy heads in the window don’t thrill me either.  The camera monitors all over the apartment were a little comical.  Those were some large cameras with obvious holes cut in the boxes in which they were stashed.  I guess Courtney never dusts all those knick-knacks that have appeared on the concrete block walls or she might have noticed electrical cords and big hidden security cameras all over the apartment.  Probably, I watch too many spy movies and expect a more sophisticated stalker.  Do Sean Connery, Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt consult?  This stalker obviously needs espionage lessons.  

THIS was the big Liz-spots-Jason-coming-out-of-Courtney’s-shower scene?  Give me a break!  Pfft!  At least the day before we could ogle Jason’s shoulders in the muscle tee.  An inch at a time, I’ll appreciate what I get.  But I’m going to complain until I get what I want!  The whole shirt must go!


I like Sonny’s longer hair. 

Where did all of Brenda’s hair go?  Probably that saltwater perm wore off and so she went from fluffy to flat in a day.  New clothes, new hair, I see how they do it.  I wish my appearance worked that way. 

Do you think Jason wears pants too big in the waist so he has room to shove his gun in the waistband?  Maybe he has a double wardrobe so on gun toting days he wears his bigger “gun” jeans. 

When did Taggert and Scott become best buds?  Did I miss some macho police/politician bonding moment?  Why did Liz appear at the debate when she had just told Courtney that she was headed to the Mall?  Was Bobbi having a need for drama moment as she prattled and tattled on the televised debate stage the state of Carly and Sonny’s marriage and then so-there’d Scott while she was at it?  If Lucas is due to have teenage problems soon, Mommy telling all on local TV might push him over the edge.

Bobbi – Knows a little, but tells all 

At least Carly fought back and aired Scotty’s bulldoze and blackmail habits.  And Scott’s mud slinging pushed her into telling Sonny that he won the sperm-finds-egg lottery again.  Not that this is exactly good, but I’m all for telling the truth and letting the chips fall.  Oops, sorry, I’m mixing up real life with soapy drama.  For the storyline’s sake I am hoping that Alexis’ baby’s paternity remains a secret for a while longer.  

Edward spoke my favorite line of the week to Ned about Alexis.  “The only thing missing from her family tree is a werewolf.”   What a crack up!  Even though most of the Cassadine’s have been banished into a dark, back room, or Felicia’s attic, at least their legacy provides entertainment. 

Jax and Skye married with vows and fine speeches.  I don’t remember the exact words but they were along the lines of “I will love you, always.”  Dummies, you should have said anything but that.  I knew the doo doo would be knee deep in short order.  They enjoyed one whole night of wedded bliss then Alcazar shot Jax.  So now we have whiny Jax trying to use Brenda to push Skye away.  Throw in lots of mixed signals between Jax and Brenda and the fact that many ‘net predictions say Jax and Brenda will reunite and the mish mash that is General Hospital has Brenda marrying Jason.  Besides, Brenda muttered the fatal phrase, “I hate you,” about Jason.  I like roller coasters.  Do you?  

Jax whined this week but maybe I’ll cut him a break since he might be paralyzed.  Besides, he’s at the mercy of the good doctor/bad doctor pair.  His decision to push Skye away (for her own good she repeats rolling her eyes) was made after discussing his condition with the balding older bad doctor.  The one who obviously skipped the Bedside Manner Class in med school.  “Your chance of recovery looks very poor and your loved ones will suffer with you.  Poor, poor pitiful you.”  OK, he didn’t say exactly that, but close.  Then we see the good doctor, who happens to be young and handsome, advising Jax after he waved his toes at Brenda.  “It will be long and painful, but with hard work you may fully recover.”  I say Jax should can them both and request Alcazar’s miracle doctor because his two bullet wounds healed within days.  He’s up, moving and outta there so he can threaten Brenda more effectively. 


BAD DOCTOR                                  GOOD DOCTOR 

Did anyone else find it a little bizarre when the deliveryman with the overnight envelope walked into Kelly’s and called out Lucky’s name?  Is his address Kelly’s Diner?  I know he lives there, but surely he has room number.  It just would have been a little more believable if the guy had asked for Lucky at the counter and Lucky had overheard him.  I know, picky, picky.  The conversation between Lucky and Liz at the diner was nice.  Lucky actually spoke without pouting or yelling, and Liz replied without her I’m-going-to-cry-any-second look.  

In reading over this week’s column I note a few sarcastic remarks.  Next week I’ll strive for upbeat.  I feel like GH is marching in place, putting characters in position for November sweeps.  Hopefully, TPTB will spread the story glory so that we enjoy more than Sonny, Carly, Jax, Skye, Brenda, and Jason.  I’m hoping - but I’m not counting on anything.  Thanks for reading.  

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