(A little spoiler and some mourning)
Someone e-mailed me and informed me rather forcefully that General Hospital is a drama, not a comedy. Making the point, I guess, that I’m not showing proper respect. Okaaay. I tried hard to be respectful but that shade of personality doesn’t play well in me. So forget respect, a girl’s gotta laugh when a girl’s gotta laugh. And as long as I keep watching, who cares if I’m laughing when I should be crying? Isn’t there a tune that goes with those words? I promise to try respectful later…like maybe when I’m close to death.
A scene that made me laugh this week occurred when Dr. Cam approached Gia in Kelly’s and asked her to check with her brother, Taggert, to see what Scotty’s planning against Alexis. NuGia’s shocked outrage cracked me up. Gia use her relationship with big bro Taggert to gather private information? Gasp! No way! She’s not breaking into any offices either. Actually, I’m kinda liking nuGia but having a hard time with the personality shift. I need a segue like, “I’ve done some things I regret and I’m trying to not repeat past mistakes. I’ll talk to Marcus about Alexis’ case.” A line like that acknowledges her past moral snafus and let’s me know that she’s trying to change. That way, when she asks Taggert what’s up in an honest straightforward manner, I’m not gazing in confusion at an alien named Gia who showed up on my screen.
Alien, honest Gia asks about Alexis’ case.
I ask again, what is that spiky thing on the back of her head?
If I didn’t believe that the writers for GH have more important tasks than reading my column and if I didn’t know that taping runs about three weeks ahead of viewing time, I’d think TPTB were paying attention to Eye On Soaps. Last week I wondered how Gia was paying for her life and on Tuesday, she couldn’t pay for breakfast at Kelly’s so we learned that her modeling funds are paying for law school and she’s struggling for cash on which to live.
While I’m on the subject of money, is Alexis loaded? Because using the hospital neonatal unit as her personal baby hotel seems amazingly exorbitant. Nancy Lee Grahn on the other hand must be a happy little camper, saving GH tons of money on wardrobe. First, she wore plain jane maternity clothes, then her jeans and sweatshirts while standing guard over premature Kristina, and now hospital gowns, a bathrobe and no makeup. Nothing like comfort at work.
It must be fun to show up for work and put on a bathrobe.
My favorite line came from Scotty this week. Taggert fussed at Scotty to watch the tape from Dr. Cam on which Alexis conveniently switched personalities and confessed to Alcazar’s murder. Silly Taggert trying to save taxpayers the expense of another trial. Not liking this idea at all, Scotty told Taggert, “They (Port Charles) want what women always want. Closure.” Since the only person more insensitive than Scotty is Sonny, I was shocked that Scotty was aware of this phrase, even stated in that sexist way. I bet while sitting in his office dreaming how to win the Get Sonny Game Show, he accidentally saw a Dr. Phil or Oprah show. Then he watched the tape and saw the magical moment. Did you catch it? When Alexis changed into Kristina the fairy dust sound played. Isn’t it amazing how that sound got caught on tape?
The magical moment
Coleman called Skye to the P.C. Grille so she could banish the call girl from Jax’s dinner table. The ensuing conversation had Skye informing Jax that she’d be his friend with no strings attached when he’s ready to deal with the emotional trauma of almost marrying Brenda, again. Meaning, “Buck up, Boyo, and don’t play with hookers.” Jax explained that he’s adopted a new agenda – Hate/Blame Sonny, Plot with Ned, Conquer the Asian Market, Call a Hooker. Jax denied the emotional trauma allegations and said, rising from his chair, “Well, if you’ll excuse me now…” He didn’t finish the sentence so I will, “Well, if you’ll excuse me now, I’m off to have mindless sex with a call girl.”
Please do not write and inform me of my shallowness. I already know. Skye came to Catherine’s wake to shake her tail at Jax. And shake she did. I have no idea what she said because I was busy wondering about the blue line hanging down her behind. It sure put definition to the back of her. Just for the record, I always watch Skye’s clothing because she tends to look classy, not because I am particularly interested in her behind.
You can’t see the seam or belt hanging down
her behind very well in this picture,
but the guy seems to be enjoying the view!
Because it was so blatantly wacky, I have to mention that Catherine’s death engendered some oddities. It seemed like Catherine died in the afternoon and the autopsy was complete by the evening when Monica passed a copy to Ned. I checked, and physically an autopsy can be performed in that amount of time, but no way would lab work be finished. Catherine appeared to have died from natural causes, which means there might be no obvious reason for the death and no anomalies pointed towards suspicious circumstances. Which leads me to wonder why Mac ordered the autopsy in the first place? Generally, an autopsy will be ordered if there’s a suspicion of foul play, which Mac assured Faith, there wasn’t. Also, in the normal course of life, tests are not run for poison. For example, Ricin, a poison made from castor beans, is considered one of the most potent poisons (a little dab’ll do ya), but unless the coroner had a reason to test, he would never know a person died from Ricin unless he ran lab work for that specific toxin. So Faith got away with murder and we now know that General Hospital has a lab that works faster than we can say chemical reaction.
Faith’s chat to Granny in the hospital chapel was compelling. “I’m so sorry you’re dead. But it’s your own fault for not handing over Grandpa Marcos tainted moola so I could play MOB war with Sonny.” As grief goes, deep feelings appear to be missing. The next time I’m not liking a family member, I’m going to keep the perspective that at least I’m not related to Faith.
Sorry you’re dead, Granny,
but it’s your own fault I had to poison you.
The Cellar draws Faith like a fly to a picnic. And even though she’s been swatted several times, she keeps returning. At Catherine’s wake, I expected a bigger reaction from Faith when she saw Carly wearing Catherine’s necklace. What a bite that Carly received the necklace, charity benefits from her Grandfather Marcos’ tainted fortune, and she only inherits her Grandmother’s ring. Not a good week in the finance department for her. Faith hates Sonny and needs cash so her agenda appears straightforward. Why is Ned hanging out with Faith? What does he get from her? Stop laughing. I mean besides sex. At every opportunity Ned lectures Faith that a bloodless coup, leaving Sonny financially bereft, is the path of choice. He can certainly work towards that goal without bloodthirsty Faith. So far, her only Nedly task has been to obtain drugs for Zander to plant in Carly’s club. Oooh, big move there.
Catherine’s wake suffered a bumpy beginning as Carly moved from one guest to another kicking them out or threatening to have the bouncers bounce them. A.J. was first to go bye-bye. Faith was next except Ned persuaded Carly to allow Faith to stay, which didn’t make any sense to me. Like Carly cares what people would say if she kicked Catherine’s MOB granddaughter to the curb. I’m starting to apply the ain’t-got-no-sense label to Faith. Honey, if Carly’s willing to slug you when she’s ticked, stop showing up where she is on a regular basis. Liz got booted next which she should have expected since Carly wouldn’t be nice to her even if she took a bullet meant for Carly. Carly would say she was trying to get Jason’s attention by stepping in front of a speeding bullet so she deserves what she gets as she bleeds to death on the floor. Courtney would stand beside Carly saying, “So there!” and sticking out her tongue. Carly backed off Jax but then Sonny sent him packing so that took care of him.
Liz, you’re outta here. Oops, Jax has to go, too.
By then it was funny because if the trend had continued Sonny and Carly would have been dancing alone for Catherine since Carly has conflict with pretty much everyone and the rest hate Sonny.
What’s up between Faith and Edward - The Psychotic and The Tyrant, quite the combo. Edward’s goals with Faith, other than his insatiable need to preen for a younger woman, appear to be discrediting Ned while allowing Ned to foot the bill for taking down Sonny. Thereby, allowing Ned to do the dirty work. A light is shining…so Edward can either blackmail Ned later about getting his hands dirty in his business arrangements with Faith or use his public relationship with Faith as a tool to gain legal guardianship of baby Kristina. Aah, ideas are clicking now.
Serious Edward made a telephone call after learning that Ned would be bringing baby Kristina home to the gatehouse. “We have to mobilize. Now,” he grimly informed the person on the other end. I have a picture in my head of Carlena – you know, Carlena who never calls in sick to work? (it’s a commercial in case you fast forward) – gathering every clerk in Babies R Us to provide one or more of every baby item in the store to be delivered and set up within the hour at Ned’s gatehouse for Edward’s newest little family member who really isn’t.
Edward, at Baby Command Central, instructs Carlena to move on the infant front.
NunuLucky appeared a lot this week still sporting that frat boy look instead of the darker, sexy grown up appearance in his preGH photos. I loved when Lucky berated Luke for sending him a mercy date with a hooker and Luke calmly replied, “Who the hell do you think you’re talkin’ to?” Please can we give up a little angst and try for sensitive Lucky again?
Luke and Summer could have a great friendship, both jaded and able to play off each other. The kindness in Luke’s eyes when he speaks with Summer and the honesty in the dialogue grabs me. Changing from call girl to regular girl would be incredibly, emotionally difficult so using Luke as a sounding board is believable. And if Luke looked at me like he looks at Summer, he could tell me my toes are ugly and my dog just died and I’d buy it. Lucky and Summer might be able to work the romance angle if Lucky can grow up enough to accept a woman with a past. That would take work and maturity, but it could happen.
Liz had her first conversation with new Lucky on Friday and I wondered how it felt for Rebecca Herbst to face the third Lucky. I’m not real big on chemistry (except maybe between Sonny and Jason) because I think the love/hate, like/dislike for two characters comes from an individual’s gut reaction to mannerisms, personal fantasies, and plain old good acting. I liked the little bit I saw between Liz and Lucky.
I am so done with the Liz and Courtney play catty over Jason. What’s the point? At Kelly’s I can accept their dislike and appropriately snotty remarks, but scenes like Friday’s when Liz shows at the loft with Courtney’s paycheck serve no purpose. Two girls bickering pointlessly through a scene to fill time for the writers doesn’t draw me in. Fast forward.
Steve Burton and Dylan Cash look like they enjoy their scenes together. As if they just laughed over a joke and now they have to work.
It’s a bonding moment.
Time for Leticia to seek other employment. Hired to take care of Michael, she now apparently also is expected to wait on Carly. Draw Carly’s bath my foot! Pfft!
Is Sonny so dense and insensitive that he doesn’t realize the slap in Jason’s face that he and Carly are expecting another child, but Jason’s not allowed to love Courtney because Lilly died so he’s positive that Courtney will die too? In pondering the whole Sonny/Carly/Jason/Courtney conflict, I’ve come up with a theory. I’m thinking that the writer who writes Sonny switched with the writer who writes Carly and they forgot which character does what, because suddenly Sonny’s too jealous to allow Jason a relationship and Carly, who used to trash Jason’s relationships and friendships, now encourages Jason to love Courtney. I was confused for a bit because TPTB obviously forgot to play the fairy dust noise so I’d realize a switch was occurring.
The Faces of Sonny
The problem with reasonableness is seeing both sides of the picture and having a hard time deciding the write and wrong of a situation. Jason left Courtney to protect her, a loving and self-sacrificing move. However, Jason lives his life making his own decisions and respecting the decisions of others and his sacrifice takes away Courtney’s decision-making power in their relationship. We’ve seen and heard all this ad nauseum for a few weeks now, which leads me to ask - is Jason delusional? Spatting with Carly, he ordered her to mind her own business. Then he proceeded to inform Carly that Courtney understands why he had to walk away from her. I’m just wondering when the understanding dawned? Courtney carried out her make Jason want me campaign this week and it sure didn’t look like she accepted Jason’s reasons for leaving. Then, when she showed a glimmer of resignation to the situation and decided to run away from the love loft in jeans and stiletto high heels (who travels in jeans and stilettos in winter?) Jason knocked and humbly apologized for hurting her. I have no yeah or nay to say about the storyline, I was just happy to see the shirt come off!
Well, this was hard to watch. But at least we saw this later.
A big boohoo keeps rising in me over the break up of Sonny and Jason. Like the security of Edward and Lila, Luke and Laura, Alan and Monica, Sonny and Jason are friends, confidants, and life support to each other. They’re a super couple of epic proportions when I think about how long they’ve kept their relationship intact. Spoilers say it’ll get worse before it gets better. But be of good cheer, they will kiss and make up. Well, not literally kiss…
Photo credit: http://mauricesteve.cjb.net/
ODE TO JASON AND SONNY
I’m at my keyboard, thoughts all ready,
But to my dismay, my fingers aren’t steady.
It’s the grief, I know, that has me upset,
My couple’s broken up, how much worse could it
Sonny yelled at Jason, "you’re out, you’re fired!"
Oh, the sadness, the drama in which I am mired!
Soap couples come, and soap couples go,
But to break up Sonny and Jason, man, that's
Sonny and Jason, GH super couple for years,
This sad parting has brought me to tears.
Shall we mourn and cry and mount a campaign?
Let’s spam ABC e-mail and drive them insane.
Sonny and Jason will be at odds for a while,
Then they’ll make up in grand soapy style.
Not with candles and not with a kiss,
Oh no, it’ll be much more macho than this.
Bullets will fly and I know it’s not funny,
As protective Jason dashes right back to Sonny.
They’ll smile, shake hands, maybe a hug.
Aah, they’re so cute, my heart strings go
Super couple status, that’s how it goes,
So hard to deal with the highs and the lows.
The writer’s delight in making us pray,
For the great make up, soon on the way.
A reunion will happen in true soapy style,
Though after a breakup it could take a while,
It’s not sex or romance we’re lookin’ to view,
It’s Jason and Sonny, dynamic duo, that’s who.
Live in my own little world,
But it's OK,
Everyone knows me here.
I’m off to expand my horizons because the weather’s nice, the trees are turning green, and a breeze is blowing. And I do, occasionally, think of other things besides General Hospital. Here’s hoping you have some sunshine this week. Thanks for reading.
Unless otherwise noted, photo credit for this week: http://groups.msn.com/GHWorld2
If you ever miss a day of GH, check out this site. The pictures are great.
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