Comments through March 14, 2003
(Not even one spoiler, just a little fantasy)


I’m tryin’ to write a column.  Honest.  There’s lots of cool stuff happening on GH, my notes are sitting in front of me, bursting with comments, but first I think I must get this out of my system.  Really, why wait, you had to know it was coming this week. 

E Y E   C A N D Y ! ! ! 


It’s better than chocolate.  You can look, savor, and you won’t gain any weight.

No, I haven’t turned into a lusting Jason and Courtney fan - I just appreciate romance.  I especially value my romance served with a helping of fantasy and not explicitly spelled out.  Not much of that has been playing lately.  And even though I tend to make fun of Courtney, when she shaved Jason, I enjoyed the scene.  It did have its funny moments.  She applied shaving cream to his stubbly unshaven face, but when she used the razor, his face was already smooth.  How many times do you think they practiced Jason lifting her onto the sink and Courtney balancing on the edge?  And they have really bad luck with afterglow because the darn phone keeps ringing with Sonny emergencies.  Did you ever notice that on a soap the telephone always rings at the most inopportune moment, like just as the kiss begins or the conversation becomes intense?  My phone or cell phone rings to annoy me at places like the bathroom at Target and almost never when I’m leaning in to kiss my wonderful hubby.  OK, I’m better now, on to other stuff. 

Summer seems to be rubbing up against every male on GH as they try to figure out with whom she should hook up.  She’s blond and blue-eyed, no way will she be let off the canvas since GH honchos seem to believe that a couple can only rock the charts if the woman is blond, preferably with big blue eyes.  This week she had her turn with Jax as he continues his cold corporate raider days and lust in the evening ways.  If a call girl receives an extra $500 for services not yet rendered or even discussed, don’t you think she should worry if whips and chains are involved?  A business transaction first – maybe Summer oughta check the amount in that envelope she casually dismissed and left on the table.  I can visualize the drama now - Jax rescues Summer from a living hell called Lady of the Evening.  Yeah, he could pull that storyline off, no problem.    

First Nicky made my eyes roll with his decree to Zander that he must leave court and not support Alexis because of his bad murder rap reputation.  Someday, Nico will realize that money and power don’t mean anyone has to listen to him.  Zander certainly remains unimpressed.  My curiosity perked when Nicholas met with Summer.  What’s up with that?  

Everybody together now, say hmmm.

I enjoyed seeing more characters this week, such as Nicholas (still combing that hair, I’m happy to report), Benny ( L ), Dara, the teens, Bobbi, Zander (always a pleasure), and Edward.  So, I am hopeful that a few more storylines will be mixed into the show.   

A mistake was made during Alexis’ comedy court.  Dara pushed Alexis and we all knew it was coming.  Only no fairy dust sound played to signify “The Change”.  How are we supposed to keep up if the little bells are skipped?  I hate when that happens.  Alexis/Kristina meant to attack Scotty, honest, but she missed and stabbed our P.C. DID shrink.  Dr. Lewis’ expression looked like he wanted to tell her, “Uh, Alexis, I didn’t mean you should go that far”.  Was it the evidence letter opener that she grabbed and stabbed with?  I think that Alexis wasn’t crazy when she argued with Alcazar, but she cooked up this scheme to get herself out of a murder conviction and now she’s going crazy.  Last year the buttoned up attorney shook out her hair and dipped her toe in the wild water that is Sonny.  She let go of a few inhibitions and maybe tapped into her repressed born to be wild side.  Now she’s unleashing her wild child and she can’t get her balance and perspective back.  When Edward visited her in the hospital to torment her, she screamed at him, “You’re a mean old man.  Get out.”  She didn’t look all that upset, just ready and willing to fight back however she felt necessary.  Maybe now would be a good time for Alexis to study a page from Carly’s book, an expert in let loose, trash your life, and then jump through elaborate hoops to avoid consequences. 

She’s scarin’ me here

Emily needs to hurry home to Port Charles, if only to give Edward someone to take his mind out of the baby-snatching gutter.  He’s busy everywhere – plotting with Scotty and the nanny, renovating the Q mansion, setting up Ned with Faith, and tormenting Alexis.  Now there’s a man with way too much time on his hands. 

Eddy gives Neddy a baby scare.
Perhaps Neddy should give Eddy a nice takeover deal to occupy his time.

Ned dumped Faith as he realized she’d hired the hit woman (you recall, the best in the business hit person who never misses), and later refused to be controlled with sex.  But Faith’s a wicked broad and he should worry about death by sherry.  I’m surprised that Ned didn’t make the sherry/natural causes connection.  Jason figured it out right away, but then Jason generally knows who did what to whom, only he doesn’t play well with others, particularly the PCPD.    

How funny that after the shooting in The Cellar Lucky couldn’t remember any descriptive info about the woman he saw running up the stairs when Taggert asked, but he could recall details when questioned by Jason.  NunuLucky probably hasn’t been told yet that he hates Jason. 

Sam the hit woman was beautiful, but not too bright.  She missed her shot and then fell for the poison in the sherry trick.  While Courtney adapts to life in MOB Port Chuck where people fall dead in expensive restaurants right beside her and it doesn’t bother her at all.

Can’t hit your target, can’t hold your sherry.  What good are ya?
Beautiful, but dead.

Monday, Liz berated Sonny about his dangerous life and how it hurts those around him.  Yada, yada, yada.  He’s heard it all before.  But it must hurt when another young woman falls out of hero worship with him.    

Has anyone else noticed how many wackos are loose in Port Charles?  Sonny’s spiraling into the deep black pool, Alexis may or may not be faking DID but even thinking of an alternate personality as a defense for murder’s pretty outrageous, Faith attempts sex first then murder as a back up life skills tool, Luke and Lucky are always questionable in the sanity department, and now there’s Liz.  Rebecca Herbst handles what they give her but I wondered if she read the script and laughed thinking not another change-a-bandage-get-turned-on scene.  Liz suffers from a severe case of first aid fantasy psychosis.  She requires a guy with a bandage located somewhere on his chest that she can change and she’s ready for sex.  Her first aid obsession first appeared with Jason, then with Zander and now Ric.  The scene was good, but it struck me funny since this is the third time Liz has been attracted to a man since Lucky and it’s been the same turn on three times in a row

When you see Liz and a bandage.                                     You know what to expect.
It’s an eye candy treasure chest this week.
Get it?  Treasure Chest?

Ric blew off the blood soaking through his shirt from the bullet wound and it cracked me up.  He probably stood outside the penthouse door and ripped the stitches himself for effect.  Carly pointed out the blood on his shirt and he casually shrugged and replied that he’d probably pulled a few stitches from the bullet wound.  Implying that it was nothing, just a trifling bullet wound gained in a selfless moment as he saved Sonny and Carly from a hit woman’s bullets.  Really, nothing, he’ll take care of the blood running down his chest later, after he makes sure Sonny doesn’t need his services.  (There are so many suck up comments running through my head I can hardly stand it.)  All in a day’s work for a super lawyer.  I finally connected who Ric reminds me of - Juan, Lilly’s son.  Not in looks, but in words and attitude.  Since reaching Port Charles he’s valiantly tried to mix into Sonny’s personal sphere.  Treated like dirt for his efforts, he’s make it clear that he has an agenda which appears to be make Sonny like and trust him.  Is this sending any Juan vibes your way?  His tirade to Carly in the hospital showed his frustration with being shut out and it sure sounded personal.  Next step – pull a gun on Faith and convince her that he hates Sonny.  Sonny shut out Juan who then sought a job with Sorel to so there Sonny and then report back to Sonny to prove his worthiness.  There’s a lot going on with Ric in the next few weeks, which I know because Sage has posted some great spoilers that’ll keep my mind churning with hows, whens, whys and wheres.  

And now, another innovative notion put forth, Courtney and Liz demonstrate how to bicker pointlessly in a hospital corridor as Courtney attempts to visit Ric for the second time with a cookie offering.  Why would Courtney feel any connection to Ric whom she knows both Sonny and Jason distrust?  Perhaps she’s drawn by a deep psychological need to take over Liz’s life.  Similar to when Carly arrived in Port Charles and she wanted to be Bobbie. 

And speaking of cookies, do you think some GH crewmember ran to the nearest bakery for cookie props?  Did they glue them onto a cookie sheet so Courtney could pull them out of the oven and they wouldn’t slide off?  I’m just curious how it all works because there’s never any kitchen mess in Soapland and dirty dishes do not exist.

Courtney’s cookies.  No fuss, no muss.
Unless you insist on pointlessly visiting the guy of the girl you took the other guy from.

How many stair incidents and stair climbing and descending mentions will we hear during Carly’s pregnancy?  It’s already becoming funny.  I love my husband but if he had monitored my stair walking habits during my pregnancies, he might not still be my husband.  Love only overcomes so much.  It also might be strained if he suddenly felt a need to micromanage my diet.  Sonny’s obsessive caution might be bearable if it’s presented with a little fun, we’ll see.      

Let us pause and observe a moment of silence…

Beloved Benny, accountant extraordinaire, man of infinite patience who put up with Sonny’s mistreatment, a guy so dedicated that he attended a meeting with the powerful, mysterious FIVE FAMILIES (hear a deep echoy voice there), passed on to the land of endless bookkeeping credits.  I feel like a favorite uncle expired.  Please don’t tell my favorite uncle (he knows who he is) that I’m mourning a MOB accountant on a soap.  He’d laugh long and loud.

Bye, Benny, I’ll miss you.

Two intense scenes really caught my attention this week and both were knee knockin’ fear type scenes.  I’d like to say that I saw Alexis stab Dr. Cam but I didn’t because some guy who drives a sewer truck got stuck in the mud and had to be pulled out, and in the process interrupted General Hospital THREE TIMES on Friday in my area.  While I am sure it was a harrowing experience for the sewer truck guy, it didn’t seem life threatening and I wasn’t too pleased with our local news screen hogging media.  Maybe I’ll catch it on SoapNet. 

“Sherry?” Sonny asked Faith in the deadly low voice.  Sonny, demonstrating the intensity that makes him so Sonny, made Faith cower in her chair like a terrified little girl.  No words or comments swirled in my head, I watched totally absorbed as Sonny detailed her mistakes - she followed a pattern and left a trail.  It was good to see the confidence terrified out of her.  She deserved it.  The crack up came later when Faith went to Scotty to tell on Sonny.  “My life is in danger.  Sonny is going to kill me,” Faith told Scotty.  To which Scotty answered, “Now that’s the best news I’ve had all day.  I hope he succeeds,” and swiveled his chair away from her.  Did she honestly believe the police should protect her life when she so blatantly disregards the lives of others?

Sonny scares the designs right off Faith’s skinny snaky legs.

Sonny verbally stabbed Jason regarding his loyalty, “You don’t know the meaning of the word!”  The ensuing looks and silence made the scene.  Carly looked like a scared wild animal sensing danger and thankfully, Courtney kept her mouth shut.  While Jason, for the first time that I remember, gave Sonny the cold deadly stone look.  Even when Sonny slept with Carly and Jason pulled away, he looked hurt but not stone-faced.  The scene ended, I remembered to breath and thought, “I’m glad this is just a show and not real life.  I couldn’t take the stress.”

It’s a terrible feeling when people you love            I don’t know if she had enough sense
are fighting in a way that tears at the                to be afraid, but at least she shut up.
                   fabric of their relationship.                                                                                          

No way would I stand between these two when irrationality slaps icy anger.

Take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and here I go where I didn’t think I was going to.  We all know Sonny’s behaving badly.  Well, badly is an understatement.  He’s out of control and spiraling down to a deep dark scary place.  A few times in previous years, we’ve seen the same cycle.  Only this time, Sonny has pushed Jason away with his irrational anger and paranoia.  So, the story will be about Sonny’s fall into a black hole, fallout while he fights his demons, and then Sonny’s climb out of the bad place.  I am pointing this out for those who have never experienced the heartbreak and pain of someone with a disorder like Sonny’s.  Expect unfair irrational choices to be made along with unappealing and scary actions.  Try for compassion and don’t hate him too badly.  Remember, it’s a cycle, the regular Sonny will make his way back, regretful, and having to deal with the damage he inflicted on loved ones. 

And thems my thoughts, my friends.  I truly enjoy the e-mails I receive with your thoughts and comments about the show.  And while I am appreciating, I’d like to toast Katrina and Sage for allowing me to mock, vent and laugh weekly at Eye On Soaps.  It’s a nice place to be and it keeps me sane (or at least able to pretend sanity really well).  Thanks for reading.    

Photo credit for this week:

If you ever miss a day of GH, check out this site.  The pictures are great. 


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