May 30, 2003
(Spoiler free again. I’ll try to do better
Pssst! C’mere. No, closer
‘cause I really don’t want this getting out. I don’t want to ruin my
cheerful reputation. OK, you know the columns by
Carolyn where they talk about what’s wrong with General Hospital?
Ahem, (promise you won’t tell) I agree with some of what they’ve written.
I wouldn’t give up my GH, but a few items have really tweaked my hot
button lately. My major personal peeve being the dumbing of the woman.
Currently, the only women with “a life” meaning they do something other
than make ga-ga eyes at their man or scheming to steal a baby are Gia
(soon to hit the GH broom closet, I hear), Penny (who deserves a
Supporting Waitress Emmy), and Big Alice (I’ll get to her later). Then
there’s the dialogue. One day the dialogue is sharp and on target and the
next day my mental pen whips out to rewrite the confusing words that sound
like aliens have invaded the characters. I hate whining so I’ll stop now,
but I’m callin’ it like I see it. To offset the groans and eye rolls that
threaten my happy little sphere I focus on the funny. And a lot of funny
crosses my screen.
Certainly, the biggest funny
this week was presented by Big Alice and Dobson. Big Alice is fast
becoming a favorite character. The woman is hot! Hot attitude, hot
dress, and needing a sensitive man to ease her loneliness, Big Alice
rocks. I like that she’s not Hollywood perfect. Isn’t that amazing?
She’s not a size 0 with a perfectly flat stomach, she doesn’t have a
wardrobe to speak of, and I’ve never caught her flipping her hair. What
she has in spades is the inner confidence to carry her part. And look,
she does comedy too. “I find you to be such a very attractive man.”
“Open your mind to the possibilities.” “Let’s just do something crazy.”
“Let me help you feel like a man again.” Didn’t you love when Dobson
revealed to Big Alice that she’s tragically attracted to criminals,
preferably with dark hair and dark eyes? Oh, if Alice only knew. All I
have to say is when Dobson is exposed as Alexis, she better let Big Alice
Betcha never been loved like this before, Ale…uhhh, Dobson.
And then there was Zander at
the window as Dobson and his Dad clinched. Comedy doesn’t fall in
Zander’s direction often but he’s no slouch with the facial expressions.
Daddy gets a liplock and Zander gets an eyeful.
Edward and Luke hit their
marks as the chatted in Kelly’s. Luke, out of kindness towards his fellow
man, offered Edward the opportunity to float him $5 million to take down
Edward: Oh, I have to give
this some thought.
Luke: Why? What’s to think
Edward (as he exited): I
have to think about whether I want to be crushed between barbaric trailer
trash and inbred Russian maniacs.
Luke (nodded with
understanding): Well, there is that.
I’m not sure what tickled me
more on Friday, Alice smitten with Dobson saying, “I’d do just about
anything for you.”; the horror on Alexis’ face as Nedly leaned in and
kissed Skye (though how he could overcome that black dress held up by
white beads is beyond me); the expressions chasing around Courtney’s
shower as women with nothing in common sat in the same vicinity drinking
tea; or Janine creating new depth and meaning for the word crass.
I planned to write a
paragraph about Penny having the best job on General Hospital. A paying
gig on a prestigious show that looks good on her resume, make up and
wardrobe, and no lines to memorize make up her job description. But then
wha-la! on Friday she showed up at Courtney’s bridal shower with a
100-watt smile and words flowed out of her mouth. How cool was that!
Wardrobe and lines, what more could a girl want?
Poor Emily experienced her
first round of chemo. She came home wan and tired and then did everything
but rest. Zander visited, she discussed her dream with Dobson,
Zander visited again with soup, Emily ran out to proposition Nicholas, and
then she defended Zander to Scotty at the hospital. I felt bad for her.
Let the girl go home and rest for goodness sake!
Who called to Nicholas as he
stood on the docks with Emily discussing their fake-out-Zander-love-life?
Which won’t work by the way since Emily runs to Zander’s side whenever he
stumbles on a sidewalk and stubs his toe.
How many times has Zander
caught a bullet on this show? Proving that he can obtain info for Jason
and deliver with blood dripping, Zander staggered to Jason’s penthouse to
tell him “Miami”. Doesn’t it state in the MOB rule book that any injury
obtained through gunplay elicits a measure of good will? In other words,
doesn’t Jason owe Zander at least a little? Zander’s charged with
murder again and probably medical bills and Jason didn’t even blink. As
in, shut up we’ll get a lawyer for you and pay your hospital expenses. I
bet if Zander said he was working for Sonny, the hospital would treat him
for a discount since Sonny sends so much work their way.
Zander’s got an owie. Courtney thinks he’s gross.
Parental indignation swamped
me when Sonny told Michael at the hospital don’t do as I do, do as I say
regarding Michael’s first Sonnyism. Daddy breaks glass on a regular basis
and Mommy doesn’t get upset, why shouldn’t Michael? Carly told Michael,
“I know you’re angry and you get frustrated, but we need to come up with
other ways to handle it. OK?” To which Michael responded by saying,
“Daddy does it.” What didn’t sit well with me was Sonny’s response that
it doesn’t matter that Michael has seen Sonny throw destructive temper
tantrums; Michael knows better and mustn’t do it. Sonny worried to Carly
about his failure to set a good example since he’s the adult and Michael’s
role model (good Sonny, now you’re moving in the right direction) and
Carly comforted Sonny telling him that he’s being too hard on himself. At
no point was Michael presented with the innovative idea that Sonny’s
behavior is wrong.
Like Father, Like Son
Maurice Benard demonstrated
why he retains his daytime popularity as a romantic lead when Sonny told
Carly why he loved her. Carly, whose new giddy personality keeps throwing
me off, was happily informing Sonny of his wedding duties – help Jason
write his vows and set up dance lessons. Sonny, in a meandering
conversational kind of way began with “I am not an easy man. You know
that. I wouldn’t expect anyone to share a life with me. And then you
came along and I realized what I was missing.” He went on to say what he
admired about Carly and why he loves her making my heart melt in the
process. Yeah, Sonny, it’s alll about you, but sometimes that’s OK,
because you’re pretty darn good!
Three cheers for Mike who
refused to be relegated to the back of the room by the Fab Four. As an
afterthought Courtney asked Mike to give her away while Carly happily
informed Mike, “Isn’t it great? Sonny’s given his blessing.” In Fab Four
world nothing matters more than Sonny’s blessing. I cheered as Mike
forced them to acknowledge his place in Courtney’s life. No matter how
much power Sonny wields, he’s still the brother and Mike’s the Daddy so he
should be granted the respect he deserves. I know, I know, Mike’s far
from perfect, but he hasn’t messed up in recent history. Besides, by
forcing Jason to ask for Courtney’s hand in marriage and granting his
blessing, hopefully he’s secured a few more scenes for this year.
Mike says, “Make my doggy day.” Jason pleads, “Just give me a chance
Not really, Jason respectfully asks Mike for
Courtney’s hand in marriage.
My favorite part of Courtney
picks a wedding gown and Jason tries on tuxes was the guy named Biff.
Biff looked so marvelously nervous in Sonny’s presence. When Sonny
ordered him to “come up with something now”, I laughed at his
concentration with his tongue out. Except when he finished sketching the
perfect designer gown, he never showed the picture to Courtney.
Nervous Biff, tries to keep his tongue in his mouth.
Do I need to write about this? Sigh. I love romance!
As much as I loved Jason and
Courtney stating their vows in the empty church, I couldn’t help but note
how incredibly rude it was of Jason to bail on his bachelor party hosted
by THE FIVE FAMILIES not even staying long enough to drink a beer. Same
goes for Courtney who dumped Carly at the bridal shower leaving her to
deal with the Q’s, strippers, and the drunk
Mother-of-the-bride-from-Hell. Yeah, yeah, I understood Jason and
Courtney’s reasoning, but tough nookies, sometimes you have to buck up and
deal with what you don’t like for short periods.
Dontcha wonder if the real
reason Courtney ventured into AJ Land was to rub it in that she’s got a
storyline and he doesn’t?
Apparently, coats depleted
Courtney’s wardrobe budget so now she’s wearing off the rack by K-Mart.
It wasn’t exactly ugly; it definitely looked comfortable, just not her
usual well fitted fare.
Unusual wardrobe choice.
Who was that man who called
out Carly’s name as Carly and Courtney left Kelly’s on Thursday?
Jason took Courtney to his
special place on her first studio motorcycle spin. And I thought, “Oh,
that special place.” Happily, I noted that it looked like Lookout
Point where he used to meet Liz. For a moment, I was afraid he’d taken
Courtney to the bridge where he met Robin. Jason and Robin retain a
special place in my heart as my favorite romantic couple and I surprised
myself with my protectiveness regarding their bridge.
How fast do you think he rides this machine in the studio.
Skye told Ned, “I’d given up
on children until Kristina.” I couldn’t help talking to my screen as I
informed the deluded mama wanna, “News flash, Kristina isn’t yours. And
it’s pretty darn pathetic to plot to steal another woman’s baby when the
mother’s still in the picture. So you can’t have children. You’ve got Q
bucks – ADOPT!” Skye didn’t appear to be listening.
Maxie was dealt another
self-esteem deathblow by vile Kyle this week. And don’t say Mac made him
do it, because he could have broken the prom date without trashing what
little self-respect Maxie had regained. I thought for a few minutes that
Georgie was going to be the teen to watch as she worked at making good
decisions. Wrong. Mush brain Lucas asked her to the prom 10 seconds
after he learned Maxie preferred Kyle to him and Maxie threw her arms
around Lucas’ neck deliriously happy and planning to throw her virginity
into the deal. Where is nurse Bobbi to discuss STD’s and long-term
emotional consequences with these dingalings?
Kyle’s best cry face so far.
Remember the dumb
conversation between Liz and Sonny on Friday? Well, it went from dumb to
dumber between them at the hospital. First, Liz knows that Sonny with his
protectiveness towards women and children wouldn’t push her down the
stairs. Why would she even ask him such a ridiculous question? Second,
the doctor just instructed her to lie still and she struggled out of bed
to what? To insist face-to-face that Sonny’s going to hurt her husband?
Pfft! to that girl!
While JenJen thought the
shots of Carly and Sonny, concerned about Liz miscarrying at the hospital
made the drama about Sonny, I thought the cutting back and forth between
couples added to the swirl in Ric’s mind. Most folks burn daylight, burn
the midnight oil, burn with passion. Ric, however, burns with vengeance,
burns toenail clippings, burns the tail feathers of parakeets. The man’s
mind twists down scary paths and jumps into wicked holes. Ric showed me a
mind leaping to scary conclusions regarding blame as the shots moved
between Liz in pain and crying, Sonny and Carly offering sympathy, and
then Carly talking to Dr. Meadows regarding her prenatal vitamins. He’s a
scary kinda guy.
Hear the clicking? That’s Ric deciding that Sonny owes him a baby.
So I thought Liz was a dummy
and Ric’s a menace to society until Ric carried Liz into their apartment
when she came home from the hospital. They mourned the loss of the baby
and Ric showed Liz tenderness, kindness and understanding. I thought, if
these two could just stay in their little world and not interact with
others, I’d like them. Of course, that can’t happen with Faith trailing
Ric like a lost puppy, and then the realtor knocked on the door. Ric
stepped out into the hall to speak with her about the house he’s seeking
to purchase and his mind swirl surfaced as he asked for a sound proof
panic room. Psycho!
Carly nicely expressed her
sympathy to Liz at Kelly’s over the loss of her baby, but that’s as far as
her sensitivity reached because she promptly proceeded to hold up and gush
with Penny over cute baby items. And Ric’s mind swirled a little tighter
as he stole the crib mobile that Sonny chose.
Has anyone else noticed that
Faith’s hair keeps looking thicker and fuller? When she first hit my
screen, I thought her hair was even thinner than mine, but it keeps
If her chest starts growing, she’ll be the Dolly Parton of daytime.
As far as we know, Kelly’s
only has one waitress now, Penny. Liz ran out on her shift to play
homeowner with Ric. Conveniently, Summer is considering life as a
waitress. What odds should we give her over how long she’ll work before
leaving in the middle of her shift?
It’s a bit silly of Summer to
run to Nicholas and then Luke trying to convince them to drop the
Spencer/Cassadine feud. Hello? If they are willing to traipse all over
the world trying to one up the other, your little crush on Lucky won’t
even scratch the surface of their enmity.
First Lucky ran through his
standard lines to Luke about not fighting with Nicholas anymore. Luke
spoke to Edward regarding his plan to topple the Cassadine’s and even
insensitive Edward recognized Luke’s pain. Empathizing with another of
the walking wounded, Sonny also advised Luke to give up his quest for
vengeance. By the time Luke reached the hospital, I wanted to cry for him
and with him over his anguish at Laura’s condition. But the scene quickly
took a turn towards intrigue as Luke received word of Stefan’s return to
Cassadine corner. Hurry up, Stefan!
I sure hope Genie Francis returns because Luke’s
been hurting for a year now.
I had every intention
becoming a painting dervish this week. However, my life as Mommy the
Taxicab kept interfering. “Mom, can I…” “Mom, will you…” “Mom, I
need…(usually cash).” I at least have to paint the upstairs bathroom
because I informed my husband that I would and he’s not to do it for me.
Generally, I decide we need to paint, I select the color, I buy paint,
brushes and whatever else looks interesting at Home Depot and then I keep
him company while he does a bang up job. Whatever possessed me to assert
myself and say I could do this all by myself? ‘Cause now I’m stuck
with a home project that I feel honor bound to complete. Did I mention
that I don’t like to paint? Oh well, next week we become Hotel
Hardeman as family visits so maybe I can enlist the aid of my unsuspecting
relatives. I’ll say no one can flush until the room changes color. Have
a wonderful week. Thanks for stopping by.
Photo credit for this week:
Totally cool GH site!
The poor quality pics are mine. Sorry, I haven’t
mastered digital yet.
In a perfect world there’d be a cabin nestled at the
end of this road with horses in a barn out back. And I’d be there next
week riding and hiking. The cabin would have cable of course, so I
wouldn’t miss GH. A girl has to keep her priorities straight.
Photo credit for this week:
Totally cool GH site!
Meet me by the lake with a picnic basket, a Frisbee, and a paddleboat.