June 6, 2003
(Couple spoilers. Many opinions. Several eye rolls)
This is how I know that we
are OK. By we, I mean those of us obsessed to varying degrees with one or
more soaps. Perhaps you’ve experienced some teasing remarks about
stereotypical soap watchers. Maybe, like me, you’ve been told to “get a
life” or endured sneering holier-than-thou remarks such as “I don’t watch
soaps. I have better things to do with my time.” PFFT! to the mockers
because I’ve observed those nonsoap-watching snobs and everybody
takes a break in some way. Drinks after work, sports, movies, reading,
primetime viewing, Lifetime movies on weekends represent a few favorite
unwinding activities. So don’t even buy into the idea that
de-stressing with 38 minutes of passion, romance, angst and fun is a
lesser activity than any other. Wait, this paragraph isn’t going in the
direction I planned, wrong soapbox.
Anyway, at the beginning of
the week during one of my Mommy the Taxicab trips I was waiting at a
light, which had turned red as I pulled up second car from the front. In
the lane next to me was a man, windows open, who was extraordinarily angry
at the car in front of him, which hadn’t stepped on the gas and made the
light. Irritating? Maybe a little. Road rage worthy? I think not.
However this guy was so ticked he spent the entire four or five minutes
during the red light cursing, puffing his cigarette, and loudly expounding
to his wife how stupid and inconsiderate the guy in front of him was. Oh,
and there was at least one child in a car seat behind him. The man was
blind to those of us around him forced to endure his diatribe. The light
changed and even though I wasn’t driving in the same lane I let him round
the corner ahead of me because he was kinda scary and no telling what he’d
do if he wanted in my lane. What does this have to do with soap watching
you want to know? I’ll tell ya. We may be obsessive. We may even be a
bit crazy as we yell at our television screens. But compared to that guy
driving in the free world, even with our soapy idiosyncrasy we are
wonderfully sane, plus we are fun. So here’s my advice. The next time a
nonsoap watching snob makes a contemptuous remark, haughtily inform him or
her that relieving stress through soaps probably cuts down on violence and
road rage. So there!
There is something wrong in
Sonnyville besides the obvious disappearance of He Who Possesses All
Authority in Port Charles. Carly ordered Marco to grab Faith and drag her
to the penthouse. On several occasions I have heard Sonny order his
guards not to listen to Carly, she does NOT issue orders pertaining to
Business. Full of helpful suggestions Courtney ran across the hall to
fetch Brenda’s London telephone number so she could question her about
Alcazar. Would Jason approve of such action? I think not, sister.
Broads are not to be involved in The Bidness. Except Faith who has a
contract, snaky legs, viper ways, a Ric fetish, and a skillful manner with
dialogue. I am referring to Courtney Cottontail and Liz Snow White, which
made me smile when she said them. Anyway, I distinctly remember Jason
laying down the MOB Girlfriend rules to Courtney so she, along with Carly,
should know better than to help their men. Either the MOB Molls are
staging a rebellion or someone poisoned the waterhole (not really, I just
like that line from “Toy Story”) or TPTB changed the rulebook and didn’t
send out a revised copy to the fans. Though I’m thinkin’ a rebellion is
in order after Sonny instructed Jason to remain behind while he flew to
South America condescendingly saying, “I just want you to keep the women
calm.” Yeah, Sonny, come sit by me and let me tell ya how to keep a woman
What we have here is a failure to communicate.
Men try to keep women calm and women try to
participate in The Bidness.
In stunning, not seen
anywhere else, scoopage, I offer the following sneak preview photo from
Courtney and Jason’s wedding that may or may not take place at some not
really pinned down time in the future.
Just kidding! Don’t get your knickers in a twist.
Jason needs some wardrobe.
I’m sick of t-shirts hanging out and the same scroungy leather jacket.
Courtney apologized to Sonny
for her mother’s behavior to which Sonny graciously replied, “Being part
of this family means you never have to apologize.” I laughed. That is
totally Sonny’s rule, because if apologies were in order he’d have no
dialogue other than begging forgiveness. Though perhaps Janine should
practice apologizing for her insistent yapping. She sounded amazingly
like Carly on a tear, except I like Carly.
I’m sorry, Sonny. No, I’m sorry Courtney. Really,
it’s all my fault…
No, I’m sure it’s my fault…
Hmm, the No Sorry Rule is looking better.
Did anyone else notice that
when Janine dropped her purse and the cash and flask spilled out, Jason
handed Janine her purse and cash but he handed the flask to Sonny who
glanced at it and then placed it inside his suit pocket.
Purse, money, flask. Now the flask disappears.
In typical Jason style, Jason
stormed into Ric and Liz’s house and wrapped his arm around Ric’s neck
demanding to know Sonny’s whereabouts. Priorities, however, must be
adhered to so the moment Jason’s cell phone rang, roughly he shoved Ric
away and answered because, as we all know, in today’s modern society if a
telephone rings, it must be instantaneously answered no matter what a
person is involved in. Right. My husband definitely wishes I would make
immediately answering the telephone a priority in my life. Headlock,
threatening with a gun, hiding in the bathroom for five minutes of quiet
time, no matter what, the telephone’s call must be heeded. PFFT!
Wanna play Ric?/What? Time to go home?/Later days,
Bud. Maybe I can play after dinner.
Where were the guards when
the fake DEA officers stormed the penthouse?
Well, Greg’s toast, doggonit!
I tend to enjoy the smaller offbeat characters so I’ll miss him. Greg was
willing to betray Sonny for a million bucks and his life, but he wasn’t
willing to give up the name of the Miami supplier? He disappointed me
with his lack of scruples. Or maybe he gave Sonny the name in exchange
for his life and disappearance from P.C. Who’s going to launder Sonny’s
Oooh, icy Alcazar definitely
caught my interest. He didn’t even cause a flicker of an eyelid or a
waver in his gun hand for Jason though, who is probably accustomed to guys
who fall off balconies returning to life. Such is life in Port
Do you think he looks good without his shirt too?
Not surprisingly, Skye
slapped Alexis when Alexis insulted her mothering skills. It’s been what,
at least a week since one woman slapped another so I kinda expected a palm
to meet a cheek soon. Alexis should be used to getting slapped since
Carly has slapped her on more than one occasion. Wanna take bets on
who’ll receive the next smackaroo? I say Liz and Skye should be first in
line since they’ve dished out a few.
A.J. set up the nanny cam for
Skye and then ducked behind a couch as Ned entered the room with
Kristina. Skye distracted Ned while A.J. noisily slipped out the patio
doors. How odd that Ned didn’t even turn his head and glance behind him
when as far as he knew only Skye and Kristina were in the room with him.
Being a shy wallflower type
during my teenage years, I didn’t go to a prom so maybe my lack of
experience is showing but isn’t a prom about dressing up for a dance?
Isn’t it full of pomp, circumstance, traditions and dressing to the nines
high school style? Just call me naďve, cause I didn’t realize the prom
premise had changed to showing up at a hotel, renting a room, and enticing
boys. Maybe I am being a tad unfair but c’mon, PROM. Our
psychodrama teens should at least have made an appearance in a decorated
room filled with classmates dressed in glamorous dresses and suits, danced
and socialized before slipping into a rented room hoping for sex and
kisses. Plus, is there no adult supervision anywhere for these
kids? Couldn’t GH make an effort to show in some small way that it is
not OK for teenagers to rent rooms and plan sex? Because I have many
teenagers full of life, drama and innocence running through my house, this
story hits me way wrong.
10 seconds in the Hotel Lobby then straight up to
At least we were treated to a
few scenes with Dillon who seems to be growing on me. Frustrated because
he doesn’t fit in, he told Ned, “Everybody has this secret handshake and
they’re not telling me.” Of course, first we endured a few scenes of
heartbroken Georgie’s sobbing angst. I appreciate a good cry with the
best of ‘em, Sarah Brown could let the tears roll without mussing her
makeup, but Georgie’s cry, whine, sob, screech, bawl, yell fit grated on
my nerves after a few moments. She was upset with good cause, but enough
I GET it. You’re unhappy. Cute kid in a pretty
dress, but you cry too loudly.
How come Emily and Dillon
haven’t made any friendly contact? Living in the same mansion, you’d
think they might meet and bond over the breakfast buffet.
Why do the Q’s think they
shouldn’t have to answer the door? Is Dobson expected to hover in the
foyer waiting for a knock or the doorbell?
Maybe Emily should stand in
line to get smacked because she’s not doing right by Zander. I understand
her faulty reasoning, but I liked her when she was truthful.
Zander should be told what she’s going through, and then she can order him
to stay away for his own good. He won’t listen or stay away, but at least
she’ll have been honest.
Hair and makeup must be busy
these days at GH as they transform NLG into Dobson. I wonder how long it
takes to glue on facial hair? At least they’re off the hook with Emily.
Just pat the shine off her face so she looks appropriately pale and weak
and she’s good to go.
I know how they do the makeup, but is that real
In an unusual turn of events,
I find myself agreeing with Dr. Cam’s assessment of Alexis. I believe it
was, “You’re certifiable.” It’s one thing to reinvent oneself. It’s
quite another to switch gender, profession, accent and teeth. While
Dobson has provided some funny moments - Skye said, “You no longer work
here.” Dobson arrogantly replied, “Why? Because I’m gay?” - I am
becoming concerned that tough, smart, capable attorney Alexis has been
kidnapped by Helena and clone Dobson/Alexis will be on my screen forever.
It won’t help but I have to
get this off my chest. Please picture me yelling at the TV. NED! GET A
CLUE. DOBSON IS ALEXIS! How can he not see her under the beard? Even
with Zander’s declaration about Cameron’s relationship with Dobson, “My
Dad isn’t protecting Dobson for Alexis, he’s dating him,” Ned should see
Alexis under that getup. The scenes were funny, but I couldn’t help
rolling my eyes. Good thing Alice wasn’t in the hall during the
Ned/Skye/Dobson/Cameron squall. Her poor heart would have been broken.
To make sure one receives the
maximum head injury, bop them from behind and then have them slam their
forehead on a desk on their way into unconsciousness. Oh Luke, I wish I
could ease your pain. Luke confronted Lucky, Nicholas, and Stefan trying
desperately to regain control of Laura’s care and then to find Laura.
When Luke is bad, I feel bad for him. Plus I know the worse he behaves or
more wound up he becomes, the closer it is to Anthony Geary’s next long
vacation. As Luke hallucinated Summer into Laura kissing her and telling
her he loved her, my heart hurt. When Luke stood swaying in front of
Stefan with a 12-inch blade, I saw his anger, but also his pain. I look
forward with happy anticipation to Luke and Stefan scenes because they are
so evenly matched with their opposite and extreme personalities. In fact,
Luke with anyone floats my boat.
Luke with a knife. Luke hallucinating. He makes me
As the Spencer/Cassadine war
re-ignites characters seem to be scrambling for footing. Except for Laura
who amazingly exists front and center despite being comatose and unseen
for almost a year. Lucky and Nicholas remain united as brothers and angry
with fathers and uncles. Luke’s anger extends to Uncle Vlad, Nicholas by
extension and his son for not participating in the feud. Stefan’s harder
to read. Suffice to say he’s rarely happy and if he let himself, he’d be
ticked too. So far, the Spencer/Cassadine caldron of venom, dirty tricks
and spicy dialogue is heating up slowly the way a great storyline should.
Cross your fingers everyone and hope for a good soapy ride!
I’d like to accentuate the
positive this week with Ric and try not to dwell on the negative. Like
how dense was he to think Carly would accept a ride home with him from
I’m positive that Ric’s good for a little eye candy.
What was that picture that
Liz and Ric hung on the door to the panic room? Was it a windmill or an
oil derrick with a red flag in the middle?
Liz and Ric ponder the deeper meaning of the red
Ric told Faith standing
outside of Kelly’s, “Don’t you ever get tired of ingratiating yourself in
people’s lives and listening in on their conversations? It’s really
pathetic.” How funny to hear that coming out of Ric’s mouth since he and
Faith are two of a kind regarding eavesdropping and vengeance. I love
Faith’s new hide in the bushes pastime. How else could she show up at
Ric’s door every few minutes?
We know it’s gonna happen.
Ric will snatch Carly, tie her to the bed in the panic room and…what?
Keep her there for five or six months until the baby’s born? It seems
redundant to say how crazy and twisted his plan is. Really, does he plan
to run in the panic room every 30 minutes with food and bathroom trips?
Pregnant women are very high maintenance and this is Carly for
goodness sake. Spoilers say Carly will escape by hitting Ric over the
head. I so like a woman who is not a victim!
I love the spoiler that says
Scotty will take a bribe. That’s not a spoiler, it’s Scotty’s MO.
I have a nonsoapy question to
put before you this week. Hopefully, someone out there can explain to me
why adding the word “British” to a business name and a van with a British
flag painted on its side can make a daycare successful. If the British
possess a daycare secret formula that helps children develop, I’ve never
heard of it. A previous daycare at that location closed down a couple
months ago, but within a few weeks of the new British daycare’s
opening, the parking lot is continuously swamped. Located on the main
road past my neighborhood, I have the opportunity to view this phenomenon
regularly. Insights would be helpful, because I don’t get it.
One funny event dropped in my
lap this week. I attended a packed house graduation held in a university
sports arena. Many, many people strolled by, which is always
entertaining. I saw a middle aged man wearing lime green silk dress
slacks with a lime green plaid shirt to match. Another younger man, who
must shop where the lime guy shops, wore a similar suit only it was
tangerine orange. From their stance and stride (they weren’t together),
they thought they were fine! I thought they looked silly. My idea of fun
flamboyance would be Ned strolling on stage in his tight leather pants.
That entertained me a bit but the best came last. As we were leaving a
tall, model slim woman walked by. She was wearing a white lacy skirt and
top with white spiky high heels. My husband reached out, cupped my head
and said in my ear, “See the lady in the white dress? She’s a man.” “No
way,” I replied, “she looks like a model.” As it happened the “lady”
stopped to wait for someone and she turned around to look behind her as we
walked by. Yep, it was a man decked out in drag and lookin’ good except
he was a man in a dress. Kinda like Alexis with a beard but she still
looks like a woman with a goatee glued on her face. Grabbing my elbow, my
husband kept me walking because I had totally turned around to check him
out. And I wasn’t embarrassed to stare because if he didn’t want to make
an obvious statement, he wouldn’t be walking around in a dress at a packed
(There are no pictures of men dressed in drag on
websites I’m willing to visit. Sorry.)
Once we were in our car
driving away, my husband teased me about my staring. Speaking quietly so
we wouldn’t have to explain the vagaries of human nature to our children,
we laughed over the incident. Only the joke ended up on us when my 14
year old casually asked, “Are you talking about the man in white dressed
like a woman?” So much for protecting the innocence of my children and
avoiding a cross-dressing discussion, because apparently my son took a man
dressed in drag in stride. It’s an amazing world in which we live. May
you have time to enjoy your soap without interruptions this week. Thanks
for checking in.
Photo credit for this week:
Totally cool GH site!
A happy, uncomplicated picture from a happy me.