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Welcome to ME!!  

Honey, you're either going to "get" me and know my heart and my intent or you're not going to "get" me at all.  If you don't, know your limitations and just back away from the keyboard after clicking the little "X" in the box on the upper right corner of your browser window, ne'er to return again.  May you have happiness all of your days.  If you enjoy what I do, then pull up a chaise by the pool and stay a while.  If that's the case, you're the very person I'm writing this column for anyway.  I don't write to please the masses or kiss anyone's ass.  Everything you read here will be from my heart, off my cuff and dead on honest.  If you want a good read designed to offend no one, go to because they are great at what they do.  If you want to hear what I really think about soaps, life, etc, then WELCOME!  This is an opinion column filled with gossip and rumors and, well, my opinion.  It may not agree with yours and I'm good with that.  *Please also note that this is NOT a spoiler or "exclusive info"'s a GOSSIP page and what we are discussing might be a RUMOR or a SPOILER, but isn't guaranteed to be what hits the screen.  I'm NOT in the business of or interested in breaking the exclusives.*   I suggest that if you want to read on, you make peace with that as well and leave your weapons with my Marshall, Lenore, before you enter town.  You'll get them back when you leave.  Believe me, you'll need them for some sites on the net and I don't want my loveys to go unarmed into war!  Remember to click that smiley globe in the links above to help EOS and search from the search engine above to help even more!  HOW TO DO "SAGE'S SEARCH."

Note:  Due to the large volume of e-mail he receives, Sage regrets that he is unable to personally answer each e-mail.  He wants you to know that he reads each and every one (some 2-3 times) and greatly appreciates your communication.  Please DO NOT ask Sage for further info on what is going to happen on the shows.  Any information he has that he can share will be put into his column ASAP!

"movie reviews" - Results #1, Reelviews

Feb 10, 2003

A very nicely done movie review site.

Feb 7, 2003

Go wild.


Feb 6, 2003

Am I the only one who thinks Orson Wells was
really, really hot when he did War of the Worlds?


Feb 6, 2003


YEAH BABY!!  Now you newbies will see what we've all been talking about!!!  Vanessa Marcil has been overthrown for the role of  "Second Coming of Christ."  No details yet...will let you know as they emerge.  Just as the OLTL execs feared, she broke the news on her hotline!!!


A number of you have written to ask where I was while Katrina was gone.  Here's the deal:

On Thursday, after I closed down the site for the weekend, I was talking to my guru & sister, Marji, about how I was feeling regarding the death of Katrina's mother and how it all related in to our mom.  She agreed with shutting the site down for the time Katrina was gone and spending some Mom time.  She made me feel a lot better, so I went in to have dinner with Ma and settle in for some movie watching.  After dinner, the phone rang.  It was Natalie (my sister, Ginger's wife), and she told me that Ginger had called the resort that she used to work for and set up THREE DAYS and THREE NIGHTS of luxury treatment for me and Mom!!  We had never been to her resort before, even though she worked there for years and years as their event planner or activities director or some such thing.  All I know is she made a lot of money and got to try out all the fun stuff before serving it up to her rich guests.  The big question was how to get there because I didn't really think that Mom was up for that long of a car ride and I wasn't sure how it would go to take her oxygen on a plane and all.

As it turned out, Marji handled all that by making flight reservations for us and conferring with Mom's doc first thing the next morning. All of that was soon hammered out and before we knew it, we were all set to go.  We left out late Friday morning, got to the resort late that afternoon, then got home on Monday.

I mean to tell you, it was heaven!  Mom and I had pedicures (I have given a million, but only had a handful in my life that I didn't do myself and they were all 20 years ago when I was in cosmo school and MY GOD!  Katrina was right!  Everyone of you...break out $20 and go do it!  Now!  Why are you still here??), facials, daily massages, lonnng morning meditations, yoga classes, bands and concerts at night, jacuzzi...there is just so much I know I'm going to miss something.  Friday night was swing dancing and some guy was keeping mom busy dancing the whole night.  She took it easy, but even in slo-mo, she can still cut a rug.  I just sat at the table and threw back Captain and Coke until she finally decided she was done for the night around 11pm, fully 2-3 hours past her usual bedtime, then I took her back, got her on her oxygen again (she can go without it for a few hours at a time now) and tucked her in.  This resort is equipped with few rooms that have call buttons by the bed and in the bathrooms, so I knew I was safe to leave for a bit, so I went down to the jacuzzi for a late night soak.

It turned out to be great.  I sat there alone for about an hour with the stars shining up above the skylight, breathing in the oxygen from all the plants in the area.  I could smell the light, aromatherapeutic smells from the other rooms in the place just wafting in a bit.  I was a little irritated when my reverie was broken by two young women and an older man coming in to join me.  They were probably in their mid 20's and he was about 35 or so.  Nice looking guy, but a bit too young for my tastes was my immediate assessment.  They all turned out to be very pleasant.  No mention was ever made of their relationship to one another, but I quickly got the impression they were not siblings or father-daughters.  The ladies made some mention between the two of them about "the new guy on General Hospital" (NuLucky) and my ears perked up.  Soon, we were talking soaps like mad.  As I was talking about the "coveted demographic group" that they fit into nicely, one of them kind of gasped and said, "OH MY GOD, You're SAGE!"  My jaw fell open because I never imagined that real people (who don't live in a box on my desk) would have a clue who I was.  I got a little antsy for a minute because of Mom's wariness (saying Mom is wary is like saying candy...mmm, sweet) that something would happen to me because of the site, but I let it go and just had some fun. 

After a while, a got out of the jacuzzi to go get another drink and when I came back, the girls took off for the midnight meal that was being served and I was left with the guy (whose name was James).  We talked for a bit about different places I'd traveled and he'd traveled and I started to get the distinct idea he was going to make a move on me.  I suddenly realized I didn't know what I was going to do if he did.  He was extremely attractive and in fact, looked a lot like Stephen Nichols did when he played Patch.  I've always been a sucker for a guy with longer hair nicely styled.  He was in really good shape (speedos, baby) and I would have loved to put him in a room at the Ranch and let the girls loose on him.  THAT made me realize what little contact I actually have with the outside world.  Other than the kids who bag the groceries (not an option), the only guys I ever see I'm related to (also not an option) or Kurt (definitely not an option, especially since Max is still out for my blood after the last return of the head, not to mention Kurt being the straightest guy since Asa Buchanan).  So all this flew through my head in a matter of minutes while I tried to figure out if he was coming onto me or getting ready to come onto me or I was just wanting him to come onto me and he wasn't actually coming onto me or what.  I have, despite the bravado, never been a promiscuous person, but Lord, it's been a tough year!  The guy got up to get a drink of his own and I half expected he wasn't going to come back, but he came back AND SAT DOWN ABOUT A FOOT AWAY FROM ME whereas he'd been across the jacuzzi from me before.  I was getting waaay too attentive to the cut of his jaw and the lay of his shoulder and just when he was leaning in a little closer than before to say something, one of the resort staff came to tell me that my mother was asking for me.  >:<  I mean, what kind of world is it when a 44 year old guy is summoned by his mummy when he's about to find out what's going on with Patch Redux?  I excused myself and went up to the suite.  Mom was all shaken up, talking about how something bad was going to happen.  I figured she was onto the connect I'd made with fans (She's a pit bull about that).  Fortunately, the resort had some fresh chamomile, so I got her some tea and tried to get her to calm down a bit.  She finally went back to sleep and by then, I just went to my own room and crashed until morning.

Each morning, they had a wonderful fruit and bread buffet with every kind of fruit you could possibly imagine and rolls, bagel, croissants, etc for days.  While we were eating, we heard about the space shuttle exploding and mom knew that's what she'd been feeling.  All in all, she handled this much better than she did 9/11, probably due to being on less medication and in much better health.  She was fine all through Saturday and we were even able to do some horseback riding (slooooowly) in the afternoon that day.  She did great with everything as long as we took it slowly and gave her lots of rest times. I was really surprised.

Saturday night was formal dining, so we got all dressed to the nines and had a wonderful dinner, then mom wanted to spend the night in the room. She encouraged me to go out and do something, so I went out to walk around the lake.  It was really beautiful.  There was a stone bench about half way around, so I sat for a bit and looked out at the lake in the dark, wishing it was full moon instead of new moon.  When my ass started to feel like it was frozen to the bench, I started walking back.  I thought about going for another jacuzzi soak again, thought about checking out the (not)moonlight dance in the ballroom, thought about getting another massage since I was feeling a little tensed up...sometimes it's worse when there are too many options than when there aren't enough.

I thought a lot about Katrina and all she was going through.  I called her cell phone a couple of times over the weekend and was able to touch base with her and know she was OK...a bit fragmented, which is certainly to be expected, but OK.  Talking to her was such a taste of "the real world" that it was a little hard to orient back to the getaway.  So after the lake walk, I gave her a call and we chatted for a bit, then I went for the midnight meal and on up to bed.  Mom was sleeping like a baby when I checked on her and the whole time as far as I know.

Sunday morning it was hard to believe that we were almost done!  It went by so fast.  We ate a late brunch, then had hot tea in front of the fireplace in the lounge.  Mom wanted to go to a class on color harmonics, so I was at loose ends for a couple of hours.  I know it sounds like I spent the whole weekend trying to figure out what the hell to do, but actually, it was only 2-3 times and also remember that I am usually waaay overtaxed having a hundred or so things that I'm behind on at any given time in my real life, so not having the site waiting or a few hundred e-mails to read or the garden to tend or house to clean or laundry to do kind of throws me off kilter. 

I walked past the conservatory and heard wonderful music coming out of it.  I checked in on Mom, found her teaching the color harmonics class (what colors vibrate on what frequency and how they affect mood and room energy), the instructor having evidently long ago bowed to her mastery.  She was doing OK, so I headed down to the stables and went for a ride.

We (Mom and I) went for a massage, then both of us went down to the jacuzzi to soak for a while.  There were a lot of people down there this time and Mom ruled the roost, making everyone laugh and holding court.  Pretty soon, it was time to go up and get dressed for dinner and I found myself getting a little tense about it.  My said I got snappy with her, but it was one of those things where I didn't think I did and she felt I did and I was too distracted to get heavily into it, so I just apologized and told her I was sad it was all ending so soon.  We had a nice dinner and after dinner drinks, then Mom said she was tired and wanted to rest up for the flight the next day. I walked Mom up to her room, tucked her in, then went to my room and quickly changed into some more clubbish clothes and hurried down to the ballroom.  My friend Lenore would have loved it.  It was 70's night and the DJ was really great.  Songs I'd long forgotten were churning out one after another.  A few really nice women asked me to dance and we did (I'm an excellent dancer...get it from my dad, I'm told). 

Mom slept in and I went to the fruit buffet at 6:00am when it opened.  When I got into the suite, Mom was already packed, so I finished throwing things into the suitcases and Mom and I headed out.  When we got in, Kye, who'd been feeding the cats and watching Sadie (our dog) at her house, told us Sadie hadn't acted like she was feeling well.  She's a really old dog, so we were a little concerned.  Got her home and found that something had caused a breaker to throw in the house (Kate, you are so contagious, girl) and the kitchen had been without power for what looked to be a couple of days.  Fortunately, the heat in the house had been turned off before we left, so we didn't lose a lot of food.  It was just a mess to clean up from ice cream and such.  I checked into the message board, let about 200 letters download, answered the ones asking for Katrina's address to send donations and sympathy cards (she and her brother are the two folks stuck with paying for the funeral, so I wanted to be sure and get the readers the info), then tried to watch what was left of AMC (what the hell?  Jack and Erica??). 

It's been a weird comedown from the trip.  Mom and I both agree that it was a wonderful vacation and above all, it proved that Mom, with modifications, is up to being out in the world a bit more from time to time.  She's been on the phone to her friends and all the sisters almost nonstop since we got back, telling them about the trip.  We thanked Ginger, Natalie and Marji profusely for setting everything up.

Anyway, I just wanted to check in on the Nonsoapy side and let everyone know how things are going.  Your Sage is very tired (haven't been able to sleep right since I returned) ...but still plugging along.

Sadie is fine...just being an old dog, I think.

Much love to you all!


standups - Results #2, 3 & 5

Feb 6, 2003

I gotta get me summa dem.

Feb 4, 2003

Oh Crap.  Just got a call from my pal at the studio and I pray he's wrong.  He says YES Ric and Carly end up in bed after she's drugged (so many people were writing to bitch about that one that I wanted confirmation from a fourth source) and that Ric knows she's not in her right mind and goes on anyway! I'M GETTING PISSED HERE, PEOPLE!!  How much more can Guza and Pratt demean the women on this show??  How in the name of GOD can the other powers that be NOT see the trend??  (It hasn't been taped yet, at least when I talked to him, so there may be hope of saner minds prevailing!)

"Saturday Night Live" - Results #4 & #5

Feb 4, 2003

Off Topic Post coming later today...check back!

Please note!!  One of my Darlings pointed out that IMDB has Coleman's name listed as "Coleman Kincaid."


"candle care" - Results #1 - Sage luvvvs candles!!

Feb 3, 2003


Sage is BACK in the HIZZZOUSE and is RENEWED and INVIGORATED and filled with zest!!!  I feel more myself than I have in MONTHS and I am ready to ROCK these soaps into the ground!! 

Which is about where the damned things belong because GH and AMC both suck like Electrolux, baby!!  I didn’t see Thursday or Friday, but today, I walked in and there was ERICA post-sympathy sex with JACK whose ears are considerably less pointy now that he’s had a major download from his hard drive.    It also seemed like his voice was a bit lower.  


Now the nutritious and oh-so-delicious Kate from A Cynic Soaps Up tells me that the Holy Santa Maria said a no-no word while I was away!  I *thought* I felt the earth shift a bit, but was convinced it was the sight of the pool boy’s butt at the spa I was visiting!! 

Of course, the big talk for AMC is the FANtasy day set for Feb 12th…watch for Tad and Erica to get married, Maria and Edmund to trade places with her regaining her memory and him losing his (maybe he’ll be more likable).  Everyone with a British accent on the show will be deported swiftly and without mercy and Bianca will forced to work cleaning Kendall’s shoes.  Oh well…those last two were only MY fantasy shows.  

In a Pfft moment, we are going to be watching All Aiden and Maria All The Time TV when they go to the Bahamas on location in the game of cat and mouse with Julian.  Zzzzzzzzz.  I have a feeling that the excitement and intrigue of OLTL’s island foray will be freakin sweeps week compared to this. 

Speaking of Julian, he has a face now…it’s Murray Bartlett (DK from “Farscape”) 

David will end up performing surgery on his unborn son. 


Of course, OLTL specializes in stand alone episodes, BUT remember also that as of this week, you’re already seeing the work of the new head writer, Josh Griffith.   Expect good stuff all around on Fantasy Day (Feb 19) when one of the prodigal Buchanan boys returns to Llanview.  Clint shows up to meet his daughter, Natalie and check out the new face Jessica got while in London (and will test his meddle where Bo’s failed against Mitch Laurence).  Blair and Starr will perform a nightclub act (a clause in Kassie DePaiva’s contract has her singing a specific number of times in a year, which is why you often find her crooning).   Cristian and Antonio will have a duel and in the segment *I* most eagerly anticipate, Susan Batten (Luna) will come back for a scene with Max and Roxy (yeah, baby!). 

Talk about being in Daddy Hell!  Todd will have to deal with both fathers as Peter Manning and Victor Lord show up in Llanview again.   

The question is…what is Mitch up to?  My guess is that he is going to have Victor sign his entire estate over to Natalie, leaving Viki penniless (well, except for her income as publisher of the Banner) and himself (by marriage) extremely well to do.  Mitch as Lord of the Manor of Llanfair would be a riot. 

The scenes between Roxy and Max (OK, Roxy and ANYone) are such a joy to watch, as were the scenes between Max and Liz.  Too bad they couldn’t be the one-syllable-named-wonders of supercoupledom.  I’d even be OK with Roxy running off with Asa as long as Asa was sincere and Liz got to stay.

Anyone thing NuJoey looks a little too much like Rex? 

Anyone hope Mitch puts Jen in a hole in his basement and rolls her down some lotion in a basket a couple of times a day so her skin will be nice and supple (or else, she gets the hose again)? 

Big ol’ kudos go out to Melissa Archer and Roscoe Born for totally creeping me out in the almost-rape scene last week.  Yeeee-ikes! 

Like I said, watch carefully this week if you want to see what new writer, Josh Griffith and consultant, Michael Malone are all about.


Pfft.  It’s still all over the place about whether we are getting NuEmily or Amber.  I was pretty well convinced that she was coming back until it came out that she has a choice part in the new Vin Diesel movie.  Now, I’m about just totally confused.  Put me on the “wait and see” list. 

Now for the spoilers: 

Birds do it.  Bees do it.  Even Borgs and Skipppeeeees do it.  Now Lucky and Summer do it.  I don’t think she charges him or anything.   

Alexis’ weirdness won’t last long.  Cameron’s on to her.  Skye remembers a red-headed woman in the room with Alcazar and tells Jax about it.  Later, she actually tells Flea that she thinks Alexis did the killin.  [But this just sucks because wouldn’t Alcazar just fall over laughing his ass off if he saw Alexis coming up on him in that dumbass wig?]   

Jason breaks up with Courtney. 

Carly gets up Sonny’s butt about breaking up Jason and Courtney. 

Cameron gives Alexis a mixed bag of news.  She doesn’t have a brain tumor like she thought, but she’s not quite right in the red head.  Cameron has a talk with “Kristina.”   

Ric turns down Liz when she comes onto him. 

Sonny’s ultimatum to Jason causes tension between the dynamic duo. 

Sonny and Brenda kiss with Carly as an unseen witness. 

Alexis hears that Flea and Cameron believe she killed Alcazar while dressed as Kristina. 

Faith plans a re-enactment of the 1920’s opening of the speakeasy when Carly opens her club.  Ned thwarts her plan. 

Sonny talks to his only shrink…dead Lily. 

Carly sneaks away from her own club opening and ends up at Jake’s.  After someone slips her a roofie, she ends up in bed with Ric.  I feel genuine fear for the Sonny-Carly folks looking for a baby.  This could be baaaaaad left in Guza’s hands! 

Fantasy day (Feb 26) shows Sonny getting shot and Luke as Guardian Angel telling him he has to change places with Jason in order to live. 

Annnnnd lastly!  From, we hear:

This guy has a ball on a pool table!
Bring it on!!


Hope everyone had a happy weekend!! 


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