IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT - 12/2

 

If you don't see the most recent Sage Column, hit "refresh" or "reload" on your browser and there I'll be!

Sage Bourland  is our rumor technician here at Eye On Soaps.  Sage will be combing the message boards, rumor pages, soap mags and set leaks for all of the choicest tidbits to pass along to you.  Got a good rumor?  Send it to Sage!  Please remember, rumors are just rumors and reflect what is being said around and about.  They are NOT to be taken as spoilers or fact!  It's all just girl gossip!  Sage welcomes your letters and comments, but please, check any nastiness at the door.  Sage is a peaceful warrior.

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Please let me know if you signed up for my update notifications, have not received them and ARE NOT on AOL.  AOL is rejecting our mailing list as SPAM and subscribers have to call AOL to complain.  We are unable to force them to accept the e-mails.  Likewise, if you get duplicate mailings, please let me know.  

AMC 

Sounds like Katrina’s letter writer may have hit the nail on the head!  Rumors are now flying around about a possible exit for Marj Dusay in connection with a drug bust.  Could it be true what I have heard that VANESSA really is Proteus AND when she gets hauled to jail, Palmer sees Opal with her new beau, Hank (the deee-licious Tom Wopat – here’s a pic) 

 

and feels the tug again, prompting Hank to leave (whaaa) and Opal and Palmer to reconnect.   

Once it came out that AMC is bringing back Del Henry in recast mode, word started getting around that a Kendall recast is also inevitable.  I really don’t think that Sarah Michelle Gellar is ready to stop fighting vampires and revisit Pine Valley.  Too bad she’s not interested in a Port Charles stint.  I’m sure they could use her talents there! 

“Too, too old!” are the cries from fans regarding the recent recasting of JR.  The kid must have spent the day watching Marilyn Chambers movies to go through puberty that fast. 

Yep, Erica’s going to be arrested.  Hope she can accessorize the orange jumpsuit appropriately.
 

GH 

The Rumor Goddess, Aida reports that the long awaited reunion may end up being bittersweet.  Rumors are growing stronger suggesting that Helena might actually exact her revenge in time release fashion when Luke dies from the after effects of the biotoxins Lucky injected into him, but not before a heartfelt reunion with Laura.  If this goes through, their love will be as strong as ever when/if Luke leaves this world.  Word is that Tony Geary is just totally done.  With the strong rumor of a Geary departure on the skirt of Stephen Nichols jumping ship, I am beginning to fear that JFP may have weathered the upcoming contract review in advance and word is out among the actors that Jill the Destroyer is staying.  My sources have heard nothing to that effect, but one has to wonder with two major actors, both who have been upset by their treatment at her hands, bowing out.  If it looked like she was leaving, you’d think they’d stick around to see what happens next.  Light a candle, say a prayer, swing a dead cat…whatever you do to make things happen, do it now.   

Mike actually confesses to CARLY his relationship with Janine.  These two are really forging a bond in the Land of Misfit Sonny Castoffs. 

Helena is about to learn who Kristina really is!

Lastly on GH, big, fat, breathtaking hugs and mwah, mwah air kisses to Dottie for recording ALL TWELVE HOURS of the Laura and Lukeathon on SoapNet for poor, deprived, SoapNet-less Sage!!  In all of the grocery stores in all of the land, in every fruit stand across the nation and every orchard that springs from the earth, there is NO peach as peachy as Dottie!

OLTL 

Alex takes Asa’s ashes to their secret tropical hideaway and finds…Asa!  He’s alive and well after all (but we knew that – wink). 

Oh, if ONLY Viki could have said something like, “That’s my girl” when Natalie sent Allison packing today!  I’m glad these two are starting to bond. 

Great work between Timothy Stickney, Nathan Purdee and Sherri Saum yesterday and today.   

Just those few quickies for you, darlings (With you, never a quickie, always a longie  -- click here and turn up your speakers, sweetcheeks).  Hope you have a faboo weekend and week!

Hot Monkey Lovin's to ya, Baby,

 

November 27, 2001
6pm

Moment of Silence Please:

From Stephen Nichols:  

I have chosen to leave General Hospital to pursue other opportunities in both
television and film.   I will be leaving at the first of the new year.  I
have appreciated the opportunity to be a part of the creation of Stefan
Cassadine and the chance to work with a fine group of actors and a wonderful
crew.  I will miss them all.  A very special thanks goes to all the fans for
their encouragement and support.

Stephen Nichols

Let it be said, darlings, that Sage is beside himself with grief.  Stephen Nichols is my absolute favorite GH guy of all time, yes, even beating out the magnificent Robert Scorpio.  I can't blame him for leaving after the current regime has trashed out his character so obscenely, but I will miss him so greatly.  Damn.  :_(

 

November 26. 2001
11:30pm

Ahhh!  Some things I forgot to mention!

GH

Wally Kurth and Nancy Lee Grahn are NOT dating and never have, despite persistent rumors to the contrary.  Wally has a girlfriend of a year now and she doesn't take kindly to other women dating him.  The return of Nexis is purely the result of fans' outcry.

There has been no word, official or unofficial, that Jackie Zeman is being let go from the role of Bobbie.  In fact, she is going to be coming more onto the canvas as Scott's new/old love interest.

Hey, hurry on over and vote for Elton as best scene stealer!  

http://soaps.about.com/library/prm/blsod_poll_11.htm?terms=poll

Elton will be showing up in some hilarious scenes on November 30, December 10 and December 12!  Welcome back, Loren!  You were so missed!!

Also, you can help out John J York by signing the petition to give him more air time at  http://www.petitiononline.com/jjy/petition.html.  JJY was recently reduced to "recurring."  Lisa from John J. York Online also says that if we vote him into the top 5 actors slot for Soap Opera Digest, ABC will have to think long and hard about their decision:  Hurry to http://www.geocities.com/jjyonline/votesid.html to vote!


OLTL

Tonya Walker (Alex) slightly injured herself catching the urn of Asa's ashes in the filming of an episode that will air this week.

Byron Sanders, who played Talbot Huddleston, the john who was with prostitute Karen Wolek when he ran over Brian Kendall, died November 12, 2001 at the age of 76.


AMC

Yep, Frankie's not only merely dead, she's really most sincerely dead.  Bummer.

Love,

 

 

November 13, 2001
11:00am

Darlings, You Know That I Love You,

but I want to tell you when I start to worry about you.  I start to worry when you guys become so impassioned and consumed by one or two of your favorite stars that you get all up in arms when someone dares to criticize them objectively.  Now it's the Quartermaniacs who have decided to chew on Sage for a while because I dared to suggest in my November 7th column that Stuart Damon and Leslie Charleson need to get back to the quality of acting that they are capable of delivering.  Oh Lord, SHAME on me!!

Here's the way it all washes out, Lovebugs.  I have watched GH for longer than some of the people writing to me have even been breathing.  I remember when SD and LC aired their first moment of GH work.  I watched SD in freaking "Cinderella" for 100 years before he ever came to Port Charles.  You don't have to tell me what these people are capable of doing, I was THERE.  You don't have to tell me what a class act they are or what great actors they are.  I KNOW that, hence the POINT.  If they weren't great, there would be no hope of them reclaiming something they never had.  I was recently REMINDED in living color what they are capable of when I stole Katrina's videos of old GH episodes last week and devoured them like a kid who has just discovered chocolate.   Seeing the caliber of performance they delivered in the past, with or without quality scripts or a decent story (and please notice that in my dream GH, I canned the Executive Producer and Head Writer, so I don't need to be told that the writing and direction of GH sucks right now.  I made that clear), made me wish for that again.  I was simply stating my opinion and I stand by it.  I'd like to see them working up to the degree of excellence they have shown in the past that is not, IN MY OPINION, being demonstrated now.  With or without decent writing and a decent story, they have performed brilliantly in the past on a consistent basis and I think the fans deserve to see that again.  If people want to hate me for thinking and daring to state that, fine, but I take exception when they write and chastise me all nastily because I happen to have an opinion or observation that differs from theirs.  

Don't expect me to pad my column to support any particular group or actor, Lovies.  It just isn't going to happen.  Anyone is fair game for the truth as I see it and I refuse to pansy around about my thoughts or cringe in terror because *gasp* this fan club or that Guardian Angel might get pissy with me.  I totally respect the right of my readers to have an opinion that contrasts with mine.  I will never tell you that you are wrong or that you shouldn't feel that way.  I believe the diverse allegiances and preferences out there are part of what gives the soap industry such a rich and textured fan base.  I revel in it.  I expect to have a relationship with my readers that is based on mutual respect and love for the show; not a need to be "right" or "wrong" about subjective opinions.  There is room for all of us here and if you want soft core writing, Baby, best to go to the ABC.com site or one of the many pages set up to glorify one particular actor.  I adore all of the ABC soaps (that I can get, anyway) and I do my best to be objective in my opinions.  If one of my pet faves needs a dressing down, Honey, they will get it just like the characters who aren't on my A list.  If one of my least faves needs kudos, they will hear that as well.  I am an equal opportunity fan and columnist, if nothing else.  Certainly, those valiant SD and LC defenders who feel I have somehow besmirched their good names by pointing out how great these actors USED to be have every right to e-mail me and be rude and aggressive and mean about it if that is their limited way of expressing themselves.  They will not receive a response.  I am getting tired of doing a cut and paste of "Listen, we are all entitled to our own opinions.  I stand by mine and do not feel a need to be railroaded or intimidated over to yours,"  so I have printed it here and that should be all of the response that is needed.  

I love ya and I always will.  There are going to be times when we disagree, but that doesn't mean either of us has our head in a tight location checking for polyps.  It simply means that we see things differently.  Don't expect me to ever be anything but honest with you.  Rant off.

PS:  For what it's worth, I have received a number of letters from fans who agree with my assessment.  In fact, the ratio is 3:1 in favor of the refresher class.  I find it interesting that one little line in the whole column generated more mail than the rest of the column collectively.

 

November 9, 2001
9:30am

I want to take a moment to honor one of my favorite net lovelies, the beautiful Lenore.  Lenore always writes with a warm and wonderful thing to say and doesn't have a clue how much I totally adore her and if I can ever pry Keith away from her, Lenore is coming to live with me and Mom in our bungalow in the California hills.  If ever you are in need of moving and storage services in Florida, go to www.abletomove.com and let Keith and Lenore take good care of you.  They are the best.  At least, her letters are very moving, so I assume she's good at it.  ;)  Love that Lenore!

 

November 7, 2001
4:00pm

!!Hel-LOOOO my little Sagekateer!
Brace yourself cause Sage.  Is.  HERE!!! 

That’s right, Baby, Sage is in the hizzzouse and is ready for ACTION! 

Sorry I missed last week.  I honestly thought I’d be able to squeeze in a quickie column and it just kept not happening.  I’ve always said that Halloween is a two week affair for me (a love affair, to be sure, because it’s my favorite holiday! Plus it’s two weeks “of hair” – get it, affair, “of hair”), because I spend a week dressing ‘em up and a week dressing ‘em down.  My people come to me because they know I can deck them out in the princess hair or their Flock of Seagulls (“And I raaaan, I ran so far awaaaay) hair, their black hair, their green hair, whatever it is they want, then they know that I’m going to fix it again after the night of nights and take them back to their boring old selves again.  

Now, on to the dish.

 

AMC 

Give it up, LoveBugs, Ryan’s out of there.  That big strokefest in the most recent SOD about “waaaaahhh, I weawwy do WANT to stay” is a crock, just like I’ve been telling you all along.  Cam’s a great guy, don’t get me wrong, but he is way done with the show.  They want him for four years, he wants outs to do other projects and doesn’t want to commit to such a long stint, blah, blah, blah.  He might end up signing an extension like Esta did, for several months to even a year, but you aren’t going to get a long term contract out of him. 

My beautiful goddess on earth, Meredith Vieira from The View, is going to be lighting up Pine Valley as June Bellwether (Loopy Laura’s wedding planner) on November 12th.  I’ve loved her forever. 

Although Finola Hughes is hinting about a possible crossover to GH, don’t look for anything permanent!  She’s just locked into another year with AMC. 

Everyone had hoped that ABC would bring back Michael Nader as Dimitri once his legal issues were worked out, but alas, it’s not meant to be.  It’s complicated, that’s for sure.  Part of it is that FH isn’t wild about going back to a dual role.  Sure, it’s cool to get double pay, but she’s a new mommy and doesn’t feel up for the challenge any more.  It wore hard on her and she vetoed the idea.  It wouldn’t be right to bring back the count without the countess and killing her off would be rude, so Dimi stays in the closet for now.

 

GH 

Next Tuesday Elton is on Philly!!  Elton has also filmed scenes for GH.  Whooo hooo!  Look for scenes between Elton and Laura and then several for Nik and Gia’s engagement party! 

If you missed the episode of Intimate Portrait on Lifetime that showcased Genie Francis, you can read some of the highlights at http://www.lifetimetv.com/shows/intimate/port0128.html

GREAT news!!!  Canadian TV Guide reports that we can see a Luke and Laura reunion as a couple before the month is out!  

Halloween was a happy day for more than me.  Rebecca Herbst dropped a few pounds that day (water weight is a bitch)  when she delivered her first baby, Ethan, early that morning.  Proud Papa is ex-Juan, Michael Saucedo. 

Still on the baby report, Grammy Constance Towers welcomed another grandchild to the fold.  Matthew Reagan was born on November 2nd

You’re going to hear a million rumors flying around the message boards about disgruntled actors who want to leave.  I am going to warn ya one more time and I’m begging you to listen…most of what you are hearing about the tyrannical JFP lording over her actors is bull.  It just is.  She’s not one of my favorite people by a long shot and I wouldn’t stop to help her change a tire in front of a prison in the middle of the night with no other traffic in sight, but all the talk about blaming actors for the show’s downfall and such is rubbish.  She’s not a people person, that’s for sure, and it was a harsh awakening for people who were used to Wendy Riche’s cuddles and coddles.  She’s had her share and more of eruptions and conflicts with the staff (don’t get me started on the Maurice Benard/Sarah Brown thing again), but again, most of what you hear on the boards, some in particular (c’mon, you know exactly the ones I’m talking about) are the product of an overactive ego, rampant mouth and anonymous keyboard slamming into one another in an unholy union.  Same for the actor walk-outs.  Most are garbage and just tabloid quality crap.  The boards tend to be the net’s version of The Weekly World News and if you take their word as gospel, you’re going to worry yourself into a stomach cauterization to burn over your many ulcers.  Lord, you’d better have good medical insurance.  Cool your jets; listen to Sage, baby.  Comb your hair.  Drink a big glass of H2O.  Put on a touch of make up and some Enya music.  Go outside and breathe in the brisk, November air.  If you can’t go outside, for the love of God, have someone crack a window for you.  If you don’t have anyone to crack the window for you, throw your shoe at it.  It’ll crack.  Turn off your computer and TV for a few minutes.  Listen to the silence, close your eyes and hear my smooth, loving voice in your head saying, “Baby.  LoveBug.  My Darling, don’t worry.  Sage is here.  Purge your mind of all the madness.  Let your thoughts of GH be positive and optimistic.  Ignore the garbage and cleave only unto your Happy Thoughts.  Stop the insanity.  Mmmwwwaaahhh.  Sage out.” 

Many of you have asked about my dream list for GH honcho’s.  It goes a little something like this: 

Executive Producer:  Francesca James 

Head Writer:  Claire Labine 

Head Writer in charge of all dialogue:  Patrick Mulcahey 

ABC Soap Overseer, QA Monitor and Whipcracker:  Gloria Monty 

Cast Changes  (while we’re at it): 

More air time:  Ron Hale, Stephen Nichols, Loren Freeman, Brad Maule, John J York 

Back to school for acting refresher:  Leslie Charleson, Stuart Damon

Wardrobe!!:  Jackie Zeman, Genie Francis, Lynne Moody

Please locate and give a life:  Florence Campbell, Justus Ward, Tammy Whoever - wait!  Carson!  Tammy Carson!, Lesley 

Beg to come back:  Jonathan Jackson, Sarah Brown, Tristan Rogers (beg forgiveness from him as well while you’re down there on your knees), Lisa Cerasoli, Amber Tamblyn, Tava Smiley 

Ban from ever returning:  Steve Burton (his passport has already been stamped too many times), Vanessa Marcil (excellent actress, but I hated Brenda – I beg Leigh’s forgiveness), Angel Boris, Lisa Vultaggio 

Buh-Bye:  Kristina Wagner, Tamara Braun, Robert Kelker Kelly (sorry, he’s great, but it just didn’t work out), Jacob Young, Shell Kepler (no more free ride, baby) 

On probation, pending performance with better story:  Ingo, Jensen Buchanan

Couples yes/no: 

Luke and Laura – yes

Scott and Bobbie – yes

Lucky and Liz – yes

Nik and Gia – yes

Alexis and Sonny – No; hot, but better as friends

Alexis and Ned – No (bad water-bridge ratio)

Alexis and Jax - Absolutely

Alexis and Stefan – icky, but yes

            (so call me a freak and get on with it, it’s my list)

Ned and Kristina – Most definitely

Jax and Kristina - No

Sonny and Carly – Doubtful (might work with SB and a total mental makeover for both of them.  Look into bringing Dr Phil to GH for some Relationship Rescue therapy)

Sonny and Jax – Just seeing if you are awake.

Mike and Bobbie – Sure, I like it

Stefan and Bobbie, part 2 – Nope

Zander and Emily – Well, duh

AJ and Carly – Yes

Skye and Jax – Yes

Skye and Sonny – Yeah, why not?

Luke and Felicia – sure, riiiiight after I’ve jabbed olive forks in my eyeballs and popped them out like overripe grapes.  Besides, she’s leaving by my list.

Lesley and Alan – Yes, irony at its finest

Lesley and Mike – Sure, like that too

Roy and Bobbie - No

Roy and Melissa - Yes, but lose the sappy crappy and make them a normal couple, I'm thinking like Tony and Bobbie were before things got so stupid...nice, you want them to be together, respectful of one another, definitely friends, not a sexfest.

Roy and Luke - Definitely

Lastly, Over-achiever of the Week Award is enthusiastically presented to TRACEY WARREN of Tracey's Take and Tracey's Transcripts!!!  (the crowd goes wild).  Tracey captured an awesome Super Soap Weekend for us in picture and (we hope to come) words!  Way to GO, Girl!!  To see her pics, go to http://community.webshots.com/user/tracey_eos and click on SSW6 in the bottom right corner!

 

OLTL 

No way is Asa dead!  My theory (no spoiler, no rumor, just my theory), ESPECIALLY after today, is that Nigel and Asa set this up to be the undoing of Max and Gabrielle.  This quickly went from a nasty coconut chocolate in my Whitman’s Sampler to a fabulous nut and caramel chew.  Yum. 

Get those wives together!  I’m waiting with baited breath. 

LOVE the ghost of Blair and Todd’s baby!  Bobby Moat is a hoot in the role! 

Can’t get enough of Starr! 

What???  Cassie and Kelly are back for a day!  Bravissimo!  Bente, bente! 

Praise be to the Great Goddess, Katrina for bringing up the possibility that the rich woman’s hands who paid for Blair’s baby could be *gasp!* my DORIAN!!  Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease 

And that’s all I’ve got to say about that, my sweet little chipmunks.  Sage is outta here until next time!  Ta! 

(be calm…Sage had left the building)

 


I totally love this banner, so Katrina 
let me use it here too.  : P

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