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Archives, Oct 2001
October 26, 2001
11:00am
OFF-TOPIC
Click here for Sage's Off Topic Column, Darlings!
October 24, 2001
3:15pm
Darlings!
Play “Watch the Soaps With Sage!”
AMC
“Love you.”
Leo looked like he just ate a bug when he said that. Now what is this little scamp Laura up to now?
Speaking of eating a bug, I could do
without the Brooke and Edmund face munching session.
I don’t want to see my mom on the toilet, my dog under the wheel of a
car or Brooke and Edmund kissing, much less hear them talk about it for an hour
and a half afterwards. Didn't
like them together the first time around and it makes me power eat Tums this
time around. Blech.
Oh Honey, I can tolerate evil Mia if
it means seeing Ryan in a towel. “Mia is…my guest.”
How…romantic. Does anyone
sleep with anyone because they met and fell in love and want a life together or
is it all just a big dance of the hormones now?
I think I’m out of step with the times or something.
You know, I think I like this Jasmine
chick. She’s really fine and she
can actually act.
Mateo, on the other hand, is a freak.
HA!
Even though I know that Laura is going to be able to talk her way around
the screaming match she had with invisible Bianca, it’s still fun that. for a
second, Brooke sees that her daughter’s toys are tapping out Riverdance in an
empty attic.
Love how Edmund is giving Leo a
little something to chew on.
OLTL
LOVE that David Vickers!
What a wonderful con man he is!
Although this seems a little harsh even for Todd, I have been trying (with little success) to get inside his head on this one. I’m keeping an open mind and although Fan Club VP, Kristine, says, “If you don’t understand why Todd did what he did, you don’t understand Todd,” I’m conceding defeat. After years of rolling with the punches (sometimes literally) and lovin’ my Todd all along, this is one that I just can’t wrap my head around. Love him still, but I don’t understand him. I think I’m glad I don’t because that would be a pretty sick place to be and I don’t want to ease my head in there for even a little while. Here are a few pictures just to remind you of some of the good times:
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Blair is breaking my heart.
What a wonderful performance by Kassie DP. Paloma needs to get some sack and tell Blair what’s going
on.
TEAR that picture, Baby.
Don’t junk your memory of Cris because he dumped you, Jen, do it
because he’s stupid. He should
have been up front from the beginning and if you take him back, you’re a
bigger idiot than Blair will be when she forgives Todd for giving her baby away.
I’m totally torn on the subject of
Natalie. One minute, she’s really
getting my drawers in a bunch with her smartass teen attitude and the next,
she’s got me blubbering in my soup as she questions Viki about not knowing it
was a whole different kid that was brought back to her.
What a mixed bag of tricks this girl is!
So it ends with David Vickers having
the baby! What a goldmine he
happened upon! Looks like Blair
will get her baby back yet! Loving
this!
GH
Nik and Gia are just Zizzling hot hot
hot!! These two make me feel more
reassured about my AMC question. Maybe
people do still actually make love. What
a couple of little sweetie pies!
Stavros is such a predictable
villain. I can’t help but wonder
what another writer could have done with him.
I can’t believe Mac’s little
rounding up of the usual and unusual suspects ended with such a whimper.
I really thought we were going to get some information out of that.
It had such promise and he only ended up making an ass of himself.
Flea, darling, that lipstick is just tragic.
Man, either someone did a good job
putting make up on Tony Geary to make him look nasty or someone does a good job
putting make up on Tony Geary to make him look good normally.
Pearls?
Sweet sixteen? I’m the one
choking here.
Confessions are flowing like wine. I can’t believe they’re giving Alan and Monica a few
minutes to actual act.
“There’s something about
Sonny.” You said it, Zander.
Does anyone in this town NOT know
that Angel killed Sorel? Is there
anyone in this town who is NOT at Angel’s house?
(Other than Gia and Nikolas and that wrist full of rocks?
My God, that girl has an awesome manicure)
After all that analysis and cloak and
dagger, Luke DRINKS the antidote? Doesn’t
it seem that he would get some big formal injection with Tony there to monitor
his progress and reaction?
As an addendum, several of you have
written to ask my input on the JFP meeting/BBQ where she laced into the actors
for the failing ratings. I’ve
been checking my sources and I do know that there was some kind of coming
together where JFP tried to pass the buck off onto the actors.
Seems that the ratings will be factored into the decision of whether she
stays or she goes when the ol’ contract comes up for review in December.
Long on record as someone willing to glory in the successes (though there
have not been many) and deny responsibility for the failures, it would be just
like JFP to have a ranting fit when the numbers don’t look right.
Funny, with the exception of the people she hired, these are the same
actors who were there when the ratings were good.
Hmmmmm.
So my assessment is that the actors probably aren’t really happy with her right now, she’s looking for someone to blame for the falling ratings and the rumors that are going around about a meeting where she went off on everyone are likely true.
October 18, 2001
4:20 (ha!) PM
Darlings! I've had such e-mails woes. I've lost all the wonderful letters that have been sent to me in the past couple of weeks. I just want you all to know that I adore you and I love hearing your words. I'm so glad you like the column!
My e-mail address of sage@eyeonsoaps.com is always the best one to find me. Please update your address books accordingly because I don't want to miss ANYthing! That is the address connected to my little envelope at the bottom.
Adore you!
October 17, 2001
11:30
Darlings, I know you haven't seen me for a long time
because the server for our web host company has been down for 3 days.
L
Major downer, dude.
Again, there’s not a whole lot of gossip in the ABC world, which makes my job kind of useless. I’ll give you what I’ve got and you can chew on that for a while.
AMC
As you already know, Jesse McCartney has been let go from
his role as JR as the character is taken from boy to man.
It can happen in a day. *sniff*
Dixie goes to the Piggly Wiggly for some Wonder Bread and leaves behind a
sniveling, whining little 14 year old and comes back home to JR all growed up at
17-18. Maybe he can date old Rosa!
The newly hired Jonathan Bennett will be taking over the role soon.
Don’t worry about Jesse. He
and his band “Dreamstreet” will be touring soon, so he won’t have idle
time on his hands. He wishes
Bennett well and reminds everyone that he got the role due to a SORAS recast as
well.
Sorry, folks. My
sources still say that Cam is one gone guy.
Time will tell.
I’m sure I’m not the only one looking forward to the
return of the glorious Olivia Birkelund on October 22nd.
Can’t wait!
GH
Yep! RKK is
gone, gone gone and it sounds like our Constance is not far behind.
Crying shame on CT, but RKK is starting to irritate me all to hell, so I
won’t mourn him. I’m holding
out on the CT thing just being a rumor. (pleasepleaseplease)
Blow away the idea that Stuart Damon is leaving.
I think it’s bunk. Also on Maurice Benard (speaking softly and hiding a big
stick behind my back to fend myself from his rabid devotees), it sounds like
he’s been grumbling about not liking where he is, but I don’t look for him
to go, at least not and STAY gone. Rumors
are also around that Jensen Buchanan is NOT getting the story she wants and was
promised and is tired of the goody-two-shoes role. She’s supposedly asked to be released from her contract,
possibly as Sorel’s killer. Angel
is still a goner, but Geddy reports that Angel didn’t do it, so who knows?
As I said before, no Vanessa Marcil and for very good
reason. She and Brian Austin Green
are welcoming bambino soon and she’s not working ANYwhere for a long while.
That is why her NYPD Blue stint was trimmed.
Delane Matthews is on her way to Port Charles as Janine,
who in one camp is thought to be the not so refined former lover of Mike and
mother of Sonny’s sister and in another is thought to be someone to cause
troubles for the Q’s. There has
long been word of another Q secret coming to life.
Could rumors be mixing their metaphors here?
Last GH rumor is that Tony Geary is pissed about the
current story line after he and his co-writer penned a wonderful piece to end
the Cassadine-Spencer feud and reunite Luke and Laura. What we are seeing played out is NOT what he wrote AND
can’t possibly be by Megan McTavish because some of it is actually quite good.
Can a ghost writer possibly be cranking out the new stuff while McT is
bound and gagged in a quiet, contract closet, awaiting her fate with JFP in the
Winter? Rumors are that three
writers have been considered for the coveted and definitely to be beleaguered
Head Writer position and Bob Guza’s one of them.
Let’s pray that the Goddess Claire Labine is another and gets the nod.
Then you’ll see what GH is really supposed to be about.
It has happened in the past that when an EP and Head Writer were about to
get canned, they were smoked out of circulation a few months before and others
were brought in to work in their stead, but keeping the names in place.
I’m telling ya, I smell a set up and a change in the winds.
Tune in to SoapNet (*sniff* those lucky souls who AREN’T
ME and can GET IT) for the special on Friday, November 23rd, and
you’ll finally see what we’ve all been talking about and longing for:
The Luke and Laura magic. SN
will air 12 episodes of the best of Luke and Laura and it’s really going to be
a keeper! Set those VCR’s.
OLTL
October 19th, THIS Friday, is the red-letter day
that will only be remembered for a few months at most:
Melanie’s last day in Llanview. Time
to have a party and set about the forgetting process.
Soap vet Ilene Kristen will be showing up in Llanview as Natalie’s adoptive mother, Roxanne Balsom. Kristen is best remembered for her 1982 role of Delia on Ryan’s Hope. I never caught her personally, but someone in the know tells me, “She played a great ditz.” I doubt anyone who raised Natalie is going to be the paragon of dignity, so I’m sure she’ll get to flaunt her best ditz-bitch self.
PC
I keep getting letters asking why I don’t comment on PC
and so I’ll answer publicly to stop the rumblings of concern.
I don’t get an opportunity to watch PC because my cable company does
not carry either PC or SoapNet, so I’ve not even seen an episode.
That puts a big crimp in my ability to provide competent commentary!
Sorry folks. I’d
love to see Kevin and Lucy, definitely Ian and the stories have seemed
fascinating, but no can do!
Sorry it’s all dry and boring this time, darlings, but
Sage is a bit under the weather. I’ll
be up to par soon. It’s just a
silly little bug, so I’m laying low, eating lots of mommy’s potato soup and
playing snuggly bugglies until my big mink blanket.
I’m shaking it off, finally, but I’m still not up to 100% yet. No worries! I’ll
be back to old self soon. Just
didn’t want anyone to worry or not get a column.
Feelin’ the Love,
October 7, 2001
10:30am
DARLINGS!!
I’m back! DO tell me how
much you miss-ed me. Mmmmwwwaaahh to all of you.
Mmmmwwwaaahh! Air kisses, air
kisses, both sides of your sweet face.
I feel as though I have
been gone forever and I want to say that LACK OF SLEEP will do that to you.
That’s why evil countries use sleep deprivation as a form of torture,
because you’ll get all crabby and not feel like yourself any more and pretty
soon you’re telling them the combination to the US Treasury safe or something.
At last, I am sleeping like a baby all through the night and I woke up with the most delicious sense of well-being and cuddly joy. Mom seems to have shaken off her funk and she’s back to being my little happy bug again. She even went out and did some of the herb harvesting this week and we did the hanging to dry together. Vince had to go out of town for the weekend on some training something and so Kye brought the girls over the spend the night. Never being one to pass up a good opportunity when I see one, I took advantage of the situation and drove up to surprise MyKatrina. Of course, I called first because her life is so monkeyballs that god knows what kind of madness would be going on there, but fortunately, she was available, so I jaunted up. It was great fun and we had acheyfaces from laughing so much by the time I left. Ahhh. Nice day. We ate at the Olive Garden on Sunrise, my favorite in the whole country and I had a nummy chicken alfredo. I was feeling sooooo carnivorous and enjoyed every minute of it. They finally had to come out and say, “I’m sorry, Mr Sage, that really is all of the free salad and breadsticks you CAN have with the chicken alfredo.” I made them regret that “all you can eat” madness. They greatly underestimated how much this little rumorqueen CAN eat! So got home around 10pm last night and guess what?? Mom and Kye were ROASTED! I guess after the girls went to sleep, they broke into the blackberry (ew) brandy mom made a few years ago and Kye kept saying, “It didn’t ferment, mom. I can’t feel anything. It’s just blackberry syrup.” Pretty soon she was on the coffee table holding a hairbrush and belting out “I will survive.” As soon as I got there, they started hounding me to take them out to a karaoke bar, but I got out of it by reminding them that if I drove them both, there’d be no one there with the girls. God knows I did *not* want to finalize a perfect day by hauling two old heifers out to a bar to butcher perfectly good songs of the 70’s. They finally settled down around 2am and are sleeping it off now. The girls got up about two hours ago and I made them my special French toast, so they are sated and on the hideabed watching Disney movies. I’ll go kick the wimmin awake around 10 and force them to take me out to breakfast, then I’ll order lots of grease-laden food and make them watch me eat it and race for the bathroom.
:
> Freakin’ lushes.
Oh.
My. God.
I found the coolest site. Actually,
someone set it to me. This is not
for the faint of heart because it has an objectionable word in it and shows line
drawings from Gray’s anatomy of a dissected male genitalia, but it’s all in
good context and is worth the crack up. If
you aren’t turned off, go to http://www.threebrain.com/weeeeee.html,
turn up your speakers and give it a minute to load. I’m so easily amused.
Speaking of easy to amuse,
all of you OLTL fans really need to check out the EOS site of the month:
OLTL, The Complete Family Tree. It’s
an incredible site!! I was so
totally entertained for a few HOURS exploring it all.
So since we’re on OLTL, we’ll start with that and work backwards this
time.
OLTL:
I eagerly await the return
of Asa’s living wives and feel it was quite a coup to get all of the original
actresses. If only they could have
gotten Mia Korpf to play some kind of odd role (like the waitress that takes
their order) or something. A month
is too long to wait!
Since we hear that Ilene
Kristen has been cast as Natalie's mother, Roxanne Balsom, it’s pretty easy to
figure that Allison is NOT her mom, as I had originally thought.
We have ascertained for the most part that Jessica as we know her is not
the real Jessica and that Allison somehow managed to return the wrong baby to
Viki. Seth is supposedly the son of
Mitch Laurence, it’s all intertwined somehow.
I just can’t seem to figure out the motivation of Natalie and Seth in
all of this.
Looks like Dave might get
some after all. I just have to
wonder what Ben will think about that. Where
is Viki? I haven’t seen Ben call
her and she hasn’t been around that I’ve seen since she lectured Todd on
forgiveness. I’m sure I missed
some important book signing announcement or something.
Wasn’t Troy in the
process of telling Nora something important about Matthew’s blood?
I think I must have missed a step or gone to pee at the wrong time,
because it looked to me as though he had her on the phone and then the whole
thing was just dropped.
I’m really disappointed
at how quickly Melanie turned into Lindsay once Bo dallied in setting a wedding
date. I guess maybe the apple
didn’t fall too far from the other apple that didn’t fall too far from the
tree. Poor Bo just can’t get a
break in the woman department.
Red bra?
DARLING, really, how gauche!
I’m eager for the scenes
between Todd and Blair in Mexico. Word
has it that when he catches Todd Jr/Mini Max, in true fashion, he has some not
so nice words for the newborn. Meanwhile,
Starr knows the truth because Grammy Addie pasted the perfect sentence from that
ten page tome of Blair’s into the pasta collage.
LOVED the screaming matches between Starr and Todd.
It was exactly as it should be. When
a kid actor can stand toe to toe with a powerhouse like Roger Howarth, who
doesn’t hold back a shred from his tiny co-star, you know you’re onto
something. Their acting dynamics are fabulous. If OLTL ever lets this little minx get away, they are fools.
Starr should be a permanent fixture as well.
;)
GH
I’ve been all through the dictionary and thesaurus and
have determined that there are not enough words in the English language to
adequately praise the Luke and Laura scenes this week. Priceless.
OK, there’s one to cover it all.
Ahhhh!!
My retinas!! Kristina, honey, TONE DOWN THAT FLUORESCENT MOP!
She’s a fine actress, but I can’t see her act for that blinding
glare!
Angel go bye bye.
Sage will not cry.
I loved Liz’s death scene, not just because it’s my own soap dream to see Elizabeth crumble to her death (even a fake one was enjoyable), but also because Coltin Scott was just so damned good and Helena was just so friggin creepy-crawly. She definitely had that black widow spider thing going on. GH has been a great gift to Coltin as far as acting and he had a LOONGGG way to go to fill the giant shoes of the magnificent Tyler Christopher nee Baker. Just as a quick reminder:
Tasty!
He has taken his place as
the Cassadine prince most nicely.
Unlike some recasts I could
mention who went to the Steve Burton school of “stare” and call it method
acting. Ahem.
There are rumors about
Jensen Buchanan asking to get out of her contract because she doesn’t like how
Melissa has turned out. I’ll get
back to you on any info I hear about that.
I’ve heard much more
about RKK’s departure, other than two magazines reporting it as well as Geddy
and RKK’s agent saying that he has not received any official word.
I haven’t heard any details emerge about the story of the departure,
but I can’t imagine the Spencer-Cassadine feud being resolved in any way with
Helena and Stavros still alive. I’ll
keep you informed.
AMC
Not much happening here
either. No further word on Cam’s
possible departure. No interest in
the JR recast (yawn). I’m eagerly
awaiting the word that Laura is going to be found out as a wacko and sent to the
Pine Valley Special Place. I’m
fighting to not bitchslap the TV every time she’s on, clutching her chest and
taking more of Phoebe’s meds to make her clutch her chest some more.
“WHERE’S LEOOOOO? GET ME LEOOOOO!” I
wanted to throw things when he walked into the room just as Brooke was about,
for once, to do the right thing.
I know I am going to have
to take lots of pepto to watch the reunion between Mac and Anna.
Anything other than her going to PC and the two of them teaming up to
look for Robert is a major disappointment to Sage.
Darlings, my Liza is
knocked up! Up a gut! Bun in the oven! “In
trouble.” In the family way.”
With child. Passing on the
genes! “No, she left no
grandchildren…” That seals the
paternity right there. Wow.
Ryan’s a daddy.
I think I’m about done
here. Have great week and try to
get the bear before he gets you.
Feelin the love,
October 4, 2001
8:45am
GH
A lot of you have written to me about the posting on Gedstern's News Page about RKK leaving the role of Stavros. I have heard nothing about this other than what Geddy has posted and I have no information on it. None of my sources have heard about it either. I'm not saying it's wrong, just that I have more info on this than you do.
October 3, 2001
9:00am
BUT WAIT!! I forgot to rave about the BEST part of AMC yesterday! What was I thinking?? I LOVED when Jesse beaned Tad with the hammer, then gave that little quirky, smirky grin and said "boo" as he was dazed and confused! GOD I love this show!!!
October 3, 2001
7:15 in the o'dark30 am
GH
One of my favorite netpals wrote this to me today, "I hope that you caught the latter part of GH! Especially Genie and Tony! Still has the magic, don't you think!!!" *ahhhhh* Lord, do I ever! That was truly a magic moment when he starting drinking from Laura's presence like a man who has found a well after crossing a desert. These two have crossed oceans of time (to borrow from Dracula) and climbed mountains of obstacles to share that one, insane, desperate moment when he ravished her. I love Scotty, but there's no way he can hold a candle to that L&L1 conflagration. If Luke can just go on thinking for a little bit longer that it's twenty years ago, it will ignite that same passion in Laura and then there will be no stopping it. I get chills just thinking the way he looked at her when she walked through the door.
On the other side, we were given absolutely stunning performances by Coltin Scott and Marisa Ramirez as the Cassadine-war torn lovers, Gia and Nikolas. Magnificent.
THEN we had to subtle, yet brilliant interplay with Jax, Kristina, Alexis and Ned. You could so clearly see how much Ned still loves Alexis. You could see how much the last year has taken out of Alexis and just how damned weary she is. You could see how much Jax cares for her. You could see Kristina trying to figure everything out while stepping on a minimum of toes. How can actors give us so much depth and convey so many emotions in one scene! For all of those who would say, "It's called 'ACTING,'" I would retort with, "It's called, 'Daytime' and more apt, 'It's called NuGH.'" This is a level of excellence that I have come NOT to expect from GH. If I didn't know better, I would swear another writer was at the helm as a contingency plan until December arrives and The JFP (not)Variety Hour gets the boot. I know Tony Geary wrote the L&L scenes, but that does not explain why the whole show was just excellent yesterday. Having NO Sonny, NO Carly and NO Angel was a breath of fresh air. *Ahhhhhh* Not a whisper of lame acting or pubescent scripting. I could also pretend it was the GH of old. No one story was given priority over another. The transitions between scenes were smooth and flowing. All in all, an extremely enjoyable hour.
OLTL
There is so much about this show right now that is cumbersome to the point of evoking pain. I won't even get into the stupid fantasy world of Gabrielle, who grates on my nerves like a potato peeler dipped in acid. There were (I caught quite the shame-shame from mother for my OLTL outburst yesterday) some really choice moments that did make me proud, however. I had forgotten that I sometimes like Max and seeing him with RJ reminded me of what a good team they make. It was a pleasure to see Addie again. God, I love her. Todd being so cruel to her did not sit right with me at all, but there have been a few things about the Todd we now have that don't seem in keeping with the Todd I thought I knew. Of course, this is the same character who punched Tea right in the face in the cabana, so I guess I'm waxing romantic over a bad guy that I really don't want to believe is a bad guy. I very much enjoyed Todd's scenes with Starr. "Dave" and Allison were a great watch ("DAMN!" He had me chuckling with that one.) and I look forward to the tension around that "romance." So I suppose even OLTL was a decent watch today.
AMC
WOW! Now THAT's entertainment!! First, we get the gammut of emotions that yesterday's show sucked from our souls. Couple that with absolutely divine levels of acting and directing layered onto a brilliantly written script and it equals a rounded three hours of soap opera HEAVEN! Is this really ABC? Did all of my soaps get a makeover or WHAT? They are far more beautiful than I remembered them being! Ryan and Gillian had me blubbering into my client's updo like a little baby. Chris outside of Ryan's place, begging for Divine help, tore at my soul. I mean, here's this guy that's the macho, tough player with an answer for everything, begging God to help him know what to do about Ryan and to forgive him for all he's done. *gasp* *sob* *choke* I didn't have to use my spray bottle once, Darlings. The curl was set by my tears. THEN we get David explaining why he had to report Joe for hesitating on the T-waves. That tore me up because on one hand, it's JOE "Jim Anderson" MARTIN, for crying out loud, but on the other hand, my logical practical side is beating the hell out of my nostalgic emotional side by noticing that Joe KNOWS he screwed up, knows of all the people to catch it, he'd rather have Satan himself find out than David Hayward and also knows he doesn't have a hope in hell of coming up with a believable defense. Yikes! I needed some time alone as well after that! My poor Dr Joe. Last but not least, my heart leapt as I saw Leo go mad and start flagging down that truck to anywhere. Good for HIM! To take a U-2 song totally out of context (with deep apologies to both Bono and B. B. King): "When love comes to town, I'm gonna jump that train. When love comes to town, I'm gonna catch that plane. Baby, you were wrong to ever let me down, cause I did what I did before love came to town!" Jump that train, Baby! (Sage needed some time to himself again after watching Leo find his spirit!). You GO, Boy. Plan that wedding, Cardiac Woman! You ain't got no GROOM!
*aaahhhhh* LOVE these soaps!
October 2, 2001
11:30am
DARLINGS!
Sorry to keep you waiting
so long, but all these ladies whose heads look like the business end of a
feather duster have been beating down Sage’s door to be made into beauties.
*sigh* The time I took off
lately has been brutal on my work schedule, so I’ve been doing little more
than cutting/curling/tinting/permanenting and such.
NOT that you’ve missed
much other than me saying that there’s NOTHING new going on out there is soap
land. The crickets are chirping and
otherwise, the silence is deafening. I’ll
squeeze a few drops of blood from this turnip, but other than that, the column
will mostly be yacking. I have a
few hooks in the water, but I haven’t gotten the bites yet.
Will let you know as soon as I do.
AMC
Oh for the love of Pete,
Cam, settle down. Mathison wrote a
big, heated bitch letter on his official site complaining about how the mags
prematurely outted his leaving. He
insists that nothing is final and he’s still in negotiations.
That may be true, but even though little birds don’t have lips, they
can surely speak and I’m hearing that he’s not going to get the cash or the
opportunity for other projects to the degree that he wants.
If he can’t bend, he’ll walk. Hide
and watch, Baby. Hide and watch. Don’t EVEN get me started on these stars who want to
metaphorically live at home in mom’s basement while they go out to play.
GET off the fence already and be a soap star or get your big career!
Don’t nurse at the teat of Daytime until you get the break you want or
worse, pop back and for the and back and forth (INGO and STEVE).
Rant off. Don’t get me
wrong. I’d love for Ryan to hang
around Pine Valley a while longer. I
just don’t think it’s going to happen.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Any chance when Laura power
eats her Aunt Phoebe’s pharmacy that she can have some kind of fatal drug
interaction and die with her head in the toilet? God, how I’m hating her.
My poor Leo is being rocked in Satan’s cradle with this ordeal and is
going to beat her to cracking up if she’s not careful.
I just wish he’d beat her. Well
no, not really. Sage is, after all,
really a peaceful warrior, but Loony Laura really brings out the worst in me.
“Not so’s you’d
notice.” Love that Chris.
I’m betting on the abusive father.
Our polls are showing most people think he’s an uncle.
I could see that playing out as well.
Since we have actually had dealings with the wayward brother, Braden, we
can figure it’s not him.
So this is Bianca’s new
love? Erica’s not going to be the
happiest mother-in-law in the world.
So Nurse Zora is back and
Rosa’s out. I can live with that.
Alana de la Garza is 25 and
looks every minute of it, so it was stupid to cast her as a 17-year-old in the
first place. Widening one’s eyes
and slacking one’s jaw gives the image of stupidity and not youth. Guess her acting coach misinformed her. Anyway, a big old Buh-Bye to Rosa. Doorknob hitcha, Good Lord splitcha, etc, etc.
I love Nurse Zora, so her return is welcome.
I feel badly that Eric Dearborn also got shafted by being brought into a
role that was so ill-thought-through and poorly written.
It was also his grave misfortune that we were lead astray to believe his
boots were those of the blessed Saint of Studliness, Robert Scorpio, leaving us
to go, “oh” when it turned out to be some goofy little mute kid.
You can’t expect us to rouse up any excitement after so disappointing
an entrance. Not ED’s fault.
Just bad planning all around. Hope
his next job serves him better.
WTF????!!! HECTOR? They named that little baby freaking HECTOR? No way did the fans vote that name in. The Lorenzo part, maybe.
Lorenzo Lamas
Lorenzo Music
I
mean, what’s not to like. But
HECTOR? After the father who forced
his family to live under his thumb? Booo.
Hisss. Stupid Mateo and
Hayley. They were better off with
Crazy Arlene’s name of “Charlie” that she told the pilot her grandson was
named (just before she banged that pilot like an eight penny nail).
I
sure do love seeing David Canary being Adam being Stuart.
Girlfriend
advice to Greenlee: Shag Jake
totally rotten. I mean, put it to
him every time he walks in the door. Never
be dressed around the house unless it’s in saran wrap. Then thank Erica for her incredible campaign idea and throw
yourself into it. BE the
enchantress and be aloof and bewitching and let Leo come to you after seeing
your gorgeous face on every magazine rack and bus side panel in the country.
Let Laura get her ratty little face put in it every time she tips out the
door. If she was not being the
insecure, paranoid freak she’s being, you wouldn’t stand a chance with Leo,
so use her freakhood to your advantage and just wait, darling.
Just wait. You’re welcome. Next?
New
JR? Eh. Who cares.
So
we are to believe that once Anna got her senses and memory back, that she is a
horndog who is bored with Edmund, but entranced by David and wants to work for
Chris. Pathetic.
Back to GH with ye. Next?
GH
As
you have probably already heard, Angel dunnit and that provides the means for
her escape from a show that should not have hired her in the first place.
In our EOS Voting Booth Polls, Angel blew away her nearest contender for
character you’d most like to fire. She
had a stunning 64% with NuCarly the closest runner up with a measly 13%.
Buh Bye.
Yes, it’s true.
It’s a girl. Sonny is getting a sister.
Just one more thing Mike forgot to mention and one more kid he abandoned.
It’s likely that this was another family that he had in tandem with
Sonny and Adela. Man, this guy
cannot get a break in the “nicest character written to be a jerk” category. Mom will most likely be coming on canvas too, basically as a
white-trashy mom looking to scale up her image. I’m picturing, oh Lord, what was her name, Charlie
and…somebody, around Luke and Laura’s wedding time, um, thinking, thinking,
too lazy to look up, must remember. LUTZ!!
Emma Lutz! That’s what’s
coming into my mind anyway. EVERYone needs a sister, I guess. The Q’s got a new one, Stefan and Alexis got a new one.
Sure. Why not.
Of course, Jax is going to hit on her right away and Sonny will warn him
off and Jax will blow him off and the gloves will be off (again).
OH, we mustn’t forget that in the midst of all this, before Carly knows
who sister is, she will interrupt her victory over the banishing of Angel long
enough to have an arm flailing, head bobbing fit over who ever that woman is
that Sonny is talking to, comforting, having dinner with or passing on the
street. *sigh*
Will someone please get this broad off my TV? Run, Sarah Brown…run far away and don’t look back or
you’ll turn into a pillar of salt.
First people try and make
something wrong with her kid, then they try and fire her before it’s time.
Rebecca Herbst’s baby is FINE and so is her status on GH.
She’s not leaving as far as we know and the rumors that she was were
just that, internet rumors from someone’s bored brain.
Another premature leaving
in rumor only is JFP. Remember,
folks, I told you that the show would be looking up by MAY sweeps, not NOVEMBER!
The only thing good about November sweeps is the stuff below.
JFP is on a firm contract that is iron clad, so stop acting like just
because the fans don’t like her and she’s producing crap, she can just be
fired. It doesn’t work that way.
Sing it with me, children, because I know you know the words:
Her CONTRACT is up for review in DECEMBER and NOTHING is going to happy
BEFORE that because ABC does not want to be SUED into the next MILLENNIUM!! These things have to be done del-i-cate-ly or the spell will
be BROKEN. Yes, ABC has seen the
downward-spiraling ratings. Yes,
they’ve gotten megatons of letters from fans complaining (for the record:
e-mails are totally ignored). No,
they can’t do a thing about it until contract renewal time, when she will
either be ridden out of ABC town on a rail or reinstated, depending on the
status of the barnyard-related pictures she obviously has on some ABC exec(s).
Patience, my dears. Time
takes time. Long time viewers know
that we’ve been here or worse before and these cycles take care of themselves.
Just hang in there and use that FF button!
But not on the upcoming
Luke and Laura story because we’re actually going to get some good work.
That is because we’re FINALLY getting to see the material written by
Anthony Geary that was submitted to bring Luke and Laura back together again and
(much to my chagrin) break the heart of Darling Scott.
*sniff* He’d better get
ready to catch another bridal bouquet.
OLTL
Crap.
Mom just yelled from the living room, “I KNOW you’re getting ready to
write about OLTL and if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at
all.” Now I’m sitting here
looking at a blank OLTL page. Um.
Lemme work on this one. Um.
OK. Here’s something. Here’s a wav of when Todd comes into the room where Asa and Gabrielle are talking:
And here are some pictures to look at while you listen to the Todd clip:
More nice things. Um. OK, I believe that Keri is Hank’s daughter from an affair he had while married to Nora.
Love how Bo has taken off
his Hat of Dumbening long enough to realize that Melanie was playing him and may
even be aware that she’s maybe six seconds from a major crack up.
That Troy sure looks good.
OH, loved the scene between
Addie and Todd. Addie is so
beautiful! They picked the perfect
person to play her and I’m thrilled that Pamela Payton-Wright has remained in the role for so
long. Her interaction with Todd,
Blair and Starr is always priceless.
ARRRRGGHHHHH!!
I can’t STAND IT!! I’m SICK of Natalie rolling her stupid eyes every time
Jessica turns away or worse *gasp* does something to help her.
I hate the way that Sam’s reaction (and everyone else’s, for that
matter) to Troy being in town is so over the top and juvenile.
It’s been proven he’s not Colin, so for crying out loud, people, grow
up and GET OVER IT!! The last thing
we need to see is NuSam beating his chest, roaring and peeing around Nora to
mark his territory. (Sorry, Mommy. Had to get that out!)
I
need more Rachel, STAT!
I
really miss Joyce Guy as the wise and haughty Senora Lena, Voodoo Woman to the
lameass and oppressed of Llanview. I
loved the way she said, “Daugh-ter.”
That
Allison Perkins chick is totally freaky. Those
eyes are crazier than an outhouse rat.
That about wraps me up! If any tidbits come in, you’ll be the first to know! Til next time, Daugh-ters!
