October 26, 2001

So Mom is totally back to herself now, acting like she never had a pile of heart attacks, never had a psychic meltdown over the WTC and Pentagon, like she’s not 175.  She’s not taking her meds, which worries me.  She’s doctoring with her herbs and refusing to go in for checkups.  She says she already knows when she’s going to go and doesn’t need a doctor to tell her how to get there.  Mom has never had much to do with doctors and was plenty pissed when we took her in for her heart attack (once she got to where she could bitch at us, she started in).  She points out that for all of the medication and IV’s and tests that they ran, the course of action wasn’t really changed.  It was all just diagnosis and knowing what was going on in her body.  When she fusses about it, she looks like this: 

I’m not going to worry.  I refuse to.  I learned a long time ago that Mom’s going to do what Mom does and no amount of worry or complaining is going to get her off her tangent or force her into anything she doesn’t want to do.  The only way we got her to the hospital was because she’s was in no position to fight and even then, we knew there was only a slightly greater threat to her life in staying home as there was to ours in taking her.  Still, it’s making me consider a personal ‘no resuscitation order’ on the old bat since she’s never once let us forget that we betrayed her by taking her to the hospital.  It makes me wonder if she has another one if I should lean over her, poke her and ask if today is the day, then just leave her to it if she says “no.”  I know that sounds harsh, but darlings, you have not listened to the harassment and malingering that has gone on since she gotten her strength back!  She’s made us ALL swear that we won’t take her back to the hospital, no matter what.  I mean, what do you do with that?  She’s been weird about hospitals since Dad died, the girls say, and she still blames the doctors for his death.  We were all really little when he died (I was a baby), so we don’t remember a lot about the particulars, just that he had lung cancer, insisted on sneaking smokes while he was in the hospital, and mom never forgave him OR the doctors for his death.  To this day, she has the half pack of Pall Malls that they found in his bed stand in her dresser drawer, like he’s going to walk in at any moment and tap one out to light up.  

Kye came over with the girls yesterday, so I decided to get some air and drive up to Katrina’s for a while.  Her sweet hubby has been working 60+ hours a week and she’s feeling all lonely and abandoned, so what’s a guy to do?  Really, you have to know Katrina to appreciate the reality of this situation.  I adore Katrina.  There has never been a more fun person on the face of the planet.  There has also never been a more morose person on the face of the planet.  She makes Maurice Benard with no meds look like Sigmund Freud.  The thing is, she’s a quick snap and it doesn’t take much more than a change of scenery to get her back on track again.  She just doesn’t *do* enough.  She stays locked away in that house with her sweet kiddies and that computer and doesn’t see daylight for weeks at a time, I think.  Now, I am a big time hermit.  I don’t go out much either.  I have my girls who come in for their hair appointments, my big sis gals and mom, but other than that, I tend to keep to myself.  The difference is that I am more free to do things by myself like walk in the woods, meditate, shop, etc.  That’s why she’s insane and I’m not.  

So when I got to Katrina’s, she was doing better than I expected.  There was some of this going on: 

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And I thought that just what the doctor ordered would be a little of this: 



And some of this: 

And maybe some of this:

And a little of this:

And I was hoping for some of this: 

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But she’s a good girl and so we were on our best behavior.  I paid off her son to watch the kiddies and we went out.  We did a lot of people watching.  Sacramento is the best town in the world for that because there is not only a great diversity of people, but also, the people are nice, so you don’t have to worry that someone is going to come kick your ass if you point and whisper.  Darlings, we had a blast.  

I know that she doesn't look very happy here and most of the time, when I'm with a lady, they look a lot happier than this.  I only ask that you consider the improvement, because when I picked her up, she looked like this:

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Then I did her makeup and got her all prettied up and off we went.  She drinks girly drinks, but I managed to get her pretty well looped.  When we got back, the kiddies were night night so I dyed her hair black for the season and taught her how to use her makeup with the new color so that she wouldn’t look like a lugnut.  She has a very light complexion, so we went the Snow White route and upped the color on lips and eyes and went for the pale, almost Gothy look.  Wish we’d taken pictures of that.  L  Maybe next time. 

Her hubby was home by then, so we sat and talked by the fire.  He’s so cool.  He’s really happy about starting his new job and was eager to get out of the one he’s in now.  He really liked Katrina’s new look, so I left to let them enjoy it.  ;) 

Made it home around 10pm and Mom was already asleep.  Watched my soap tapes and crashed out myself. 

I woke up this morning eager for Halloween.  We put out the decorations and I’m going to get pumpkins from the shed to carve up tonight.  We never make the jack-o-lanterns more than a week before Halloween because they go bad so fast.  Mom will make some pies with whatever pumpkins I don’t hack up.  This is one time of the year that I hate being so far out in the boondocks because we don’t really get any trick-or-treaters.  We’ll probably go hang at Kye and Vince’s and give out candy while they take the girls around.  I love dressing the kids in their costumes, so we’ll get there early. 

Guess I’m done rambling.  You guys all take care!