Honey, you're either going to "get" me and know my heart and my intent or you're not going to "get" me at all.  If you don't, know your limitations and just back away from the keyboard after clicking the little "X" in the box on the upper right corner of your browser window, ne'er to return again.  May you have happiness all of your days.  If you enjoy what I do, then pull up a chaise by the pool and stay a while.  If that's the case, you're the very person I'm writing this column for anyway.  I don't write to please the masses or kiss anyone's ass.  Everything you read here will be from my heart, off my cuff and dead on honest.  If you want a good read designed to offend no one, go to ABC.com because they are great at what they do.  If you want to hear what I really think about soaps, life, etc, then WELCOME!  This is an opinion column filled with gossip and rumors and, well, my opinion.  It may not agree with yours and I'm good with that.  *Please also note that this is NOT a spoiler or "exclusive info" site...it's a GOSSIP page and what we are discussing might be a RUMOR or a SPOILER, but isn't guaranteed to be what hits the screen.  I'm NOT in the business of or interested in breaking the exclusives.*   I suggest that if you want to read on, you make peace with that as well and leave your weapons with my Marshall, Lenore, before you enter town.  You'll get them back when you leave.  Believe me, you'll need them for some sites on the net and I don't want my loveys to go unarmed into war!  Remember to click that smiley globe in the links above to help EOS!

Note:  Due to the large volume of e-mail he receives, Sage regrets that he is unable to personally answer each e-mail.  He wants you to know that he reads each and every one (some 2-3 times) and greatly appreciates your communication.  Please DO NOT ask Sage for further info on what is going to happen on the shows.  Any information he has that he can share will be put into his column or on the message board right away. 

This just in...yep, it's true...Natalie and Jessica are twins.  November 22 will be Erin Torpey's last air date.

On our message board, some of the gals were passing around a personal questions interview kind of thing where you ask someone close to you to answer some questions about.  I talked to my lifelong friend, Kurt, and got him to do it for me, so I thought I'd share it with you:

What is your relationship to him?

Friend/brother/confidant


How long have you known him?

I can’t remember NOT knowing him.  My family lived the next house over from him forever.  OK, so I guess something like 46 years. 


What one word would describe his personality?

Oh, you do like to torture, don’t you?  I guess “alive.”  Sage is one of the most truly “alive” and in the world people I’ve ever met. 


When he's angry does everyone know it or does he hide it?

He hides it at first, while he decides if he should be angry about it or not, but once he figures it’s a go, you definitely know about it.

Is he shy or outgoing around a group she doesn't know?

Shy at first until he finds his place in the group.

Life of the party or casual observer?

Sage becomes the life of the party without even trying.  He walks into a room, sits at a table on his own, starts talking to someone and before you know it, there’s a crowd gathered and he had never even raised his voice.

What's the best thing he's ever done for you?

Wow.  There’s a lot to choose from.  I guess the most memorable is that for my 21^st birthday, he told me we were going out barhopping to celebrate and instead took me to London to see Pink Floyd in concert.  I later found out he sold one of his cars to do it.  That’s the kind of person Sage is.

When's the last time he really ticked you off and why?

Again, a lot to choose from.  Ah, wait, you said the LAST time.  We’ve had this game going for about the past 15 years that he has been determined to win.  We were at Knotts Scary Farm and I bought this really horrid looking rubber head.  It’s made out of the same stuff that MadBalls were made of, if you remember those.  Anyway, we made a game out of forcing the other person to take the head.  (Sage called it “The Giving Head Game”  ha  ha  ha)  Anyway, over the years, we’ve found inventive ways to give one another the head.  The trick is patience, because you have to wait until the other is not expecting it, then BAM, they’ve got the head.  For instance, I once hid it in his salon, replacing out one of the wig stands for a wig he was styling for someone.  One year, my wife put a dummy on a lawn chair in the front lawn for Halloween and Sage took off the dummy’s head and put THE head on instead.  When I was in the military, I took a hop flight to Kadena AB in Okinawa and mailed the head to him from Japan.  (Mailing the head is tricky because once, he mailed it to me, I knew what it was and wrote “refused, return to sender on it.”  THAT pissed him off.  OF course, he tried the same thing once and accidentally rejected a birthday gift from his sister.  Heh heh heh.)   Anyway, last year, he cut the head up into little pieces and set them all around my house.  It took me forever to figure out what the little chunks were I kept finding and when I did figure it out, I was PISSED, not just because I’d gotten the head, but because now it was going to be impossible to play the game any more.  He insisted I just wasn’t being creative enough, then he insisted that I was mad because “he’d won.”  I didn’t talk to him for about a month over that one.

 
Tell us something only you know about him:

Good question to ask right after getting me pissed off about the head all over again.  OK.  That butt shot Sage is so proud of sending to everyone?  It’s not just a butt shot.  It’s a full porn spread he did a while back to put together a few extra bucks.  It’s on the internet somewhere, but I can’t find it…I just know it exists because I saw the proofs. 

What's the funniest thing you recall seeing him do?

Oh God.  You’re talking about a lifetime and you’re talking about Sage.  I’ve been looking at this question for about ten minutes trying to figure out what I’m going to say and which one to pick.   OK, when we were in our twenties, we went to New Mexico to visit some friends.  There was a biker bar on the main drag of Alamogordo and it was called, thinking, thinking, like the Rack and Cue or something like that.  Anyway, our friends were stationed at Holloman AFB, which was near there and we’d all gone out for a drink.  The only bar they knew of was the Rack and Cue and so we tooled in there a little nervously because it looked like a pretty rough crowd.  Sage was in the back (there were 4 of us) and as soon as we got into the bar, Sage said to us, “Think fast, guys,” then yelled at the top of his voice, “All you p u s s y bikers SUCK!”  The whole room froze, including us, then we bolted for the door with this angry mob barreling after us.  We drove like mad and ended up out in the middle of the desert.  We realized we weren’t being followed (they were probably all still trying to get their bikes to start) and collapsed into the dirt.  One of the guys was really pissed and started reaming out Sage, “You f’ing little twerp!!  You want to get us all killed?”  Sage was laughing like mad and wiped the tears from his eyes and said, “Arch, we could have gone in there and had a few drinks and laughed and called it a good time.  Now, you’re going to have a story you’ll be telling for the rest of your life.”  He was right.  But again, that’s just how Sage is.  He really, really lives life.

How does he handle adversity?

I think Sage isn’t aware that anything IS adversity.  If he comes up against a challenge, that brain just stays in full steam mode until he has found the positive angle and suddenly what was challenging five minutes before is in line and working to his benefit.

Tell us something he used to wear that was really ugly.

Oh God, the easiest question of all.  That ugly mullet hair he kept forever.  He looked like Joe Dirt.

How do you think people that don't really know her perceive him?

About the way that you do and I do.  With Sage, what you see is what you get and he is a pretty easy read.  I think most people are cued into what he’s about after talking to him for about 5 minutes. 

How do you think he perceives himself?

He seems under the impression that he’s just an ordinary guy.

How do you perceive him?

He’s about the coolest, most fun, kindest person I’ve ever met.


Can/will he kick our butts if we need it or does he tend toward the soft side?

Yes he will, but he does have a soft side and will mull for a while before deciding to kick ass.  The only time I EVER saw him fly into violence was when he BEAT MY ASS DOWN when we were about 12-13 because I said his mom was the hottest woman I’d ever seen.  (My God, that woman is fine.  There wasn’t a kid in the neighborhood that wasn’t head over heels for Mrs. B)  We’re all still nuts about her, but we don’t mention it to Sage…ever. [Sage:  That’s right]

One word that says why you're friends with him:

Life


Can you see him sitting around looking at naked pictures on the internet?

Ha!  Only any time I walk into his house.  Probably pictures of himself!

& Kurt

Thatttttt’s right.  Get your red hot GH scoops here.  I had a ton of them pour in at once and I’m going to do my best to get them all in order to make sense for you and a big ol’ thanks to the source who was so generous!! 

WARNING:  These are detailed scoops!  If you don't want to really know what's going to happen, DON'T read!  

Introducing new Sonny Muscle:  Paulie and Marco. 

Brenda slaps Sonny when he goads her about her feelings for Jax 

Scott does his best to get a conviction against Alcazar for his wrong-doings, evoking moving testimony from Alexis, Brenda, Felicia and Monica.  Jax even gives an “up-standing” statement against the man who shot him.  As Scott is delivering his impassioned plea, he is interrupted and given a document that changes everything.  In a surprise move, he announces that he is dropping all charges, to the judge’s surprise.  When the judge reads the document, it’s official…a higher up has assured that Alcazar remains a free man…but he gets a mysterious death threat in the process. 

There’s another montage in the works! 

Skye gets some of the medication Brenda is taking for her “disease” and learns it’s nothing more than tranquilizers.  On the alert, she takes a trip to Switzerland, where she is able to get important information from a nurse in the clinic that treated Brenda.  Armed with the information that Brenda doesn’t really have the disease her mother had, she returns home to be confronted by Alcazar, who knows she’s been snooping around.  She and Alcazar try to get information from one another, but when she admits she’s going to use the info she has to end any chance Brenda has with Jax, Alcazar tells her that on the contrary, she’ll end any chance SHE has with Jax.  He assures her he will take Brenda away from Skye and Jax forever. 

Skye writes a heartfelt letter to Jax, who is moved…literally. 

Alexis is relieved when the DNA tests reveal Ned to be the father of Alexis’ baby.  Alexis thanks him and Ned admits he is responsible for the test results. 

Lila gives Carly a good talking to. 

Alexis has a heart to heart talk with Jax about love and marriage.  He points out that they way she’s describing her relationship with Ned sure sounds like love.  Alexis works up the courage to ask Ned to marry her, but Ned has a question for her as well!  

Alexis is hospitalized for high blood pressure and the threat she receives from Sonny while there will make your blood run cold.  Afterwards, Ned affirms his devotion to Alexis and their daughter and they share a warm moment. 

Alexis puts her foot down to Edward about how her daughter will be raised. 

The return of JRN as Kristina is very temporary and will take the form of a vision. 

First a bag of flour and now a coat hanger!  Courtney mistakes AJ for the stalker and beats the crap out of him.  That’s the FIRST time she gets the wrong guy!  AJ has an unexpected response to learning that Jason has been protecting his wife.  The cops kick the door in. 

Jason is knocked out by the stalker and AJ, who saw the stalker, has to leave with the cops to give a description to a police artist.  Jason regains consciousness and tells Courtney he’s going to handle this once and for all.  She tries to stop him and ends up following.  Jason goes after Coleman in a big way and tells him that if he bothers Courtney again, he’ll be dead.  (that’s not far from the truth, as it turns out!) 

Daisy…she loves me, she loves me not…crunch. 

Courtney shows up and stops him.  As they leave Jake’s, Courtney frets over the cut on his head.  In a heated moment, they end up kissing deeply.  Courtney draws back in horror and they both swear it can never happen again.  Courtney returns home as AJ is starting to worry about her.  They have a wonderfully intimate moment. 

When Courtney visits, Carly picks up on her feelings for Jason and gets an idea for how to use them. 

The Brenda-Jax connection continues.  Jax has a hot, hot dream about Brenda and wakes to find her there.  Later, they very nearly kiss.  Ned gives both Jax and Brenda some sincere advice separately.  

Knowing she has to let go of Jax, Brenda comes on big time to Sonny, who rejects her.  Unfortunately, Carly sees and misunderstands, but some tough love from Jason sends her to her husband.  Sonny forgives her for keeping the secret about Alexis’ baby and assures her he’s not interested in Brenda. 

Brenda comes in out of the rain to watch Jax sleep and Jason tells her its time to go.  He’s ready to send her packing to Europe, but she counters that Jax will only end up following her when he can.  She then makes a proposal that will change their lives.  The week ends with a BIG surprise for Sonny and Carly when Jason comes home. 

Lucky and Liz team up together to save Luke.  Their search leads to finding him on a chain gang (He broke a guy’s jaw in a bar and oops!  It’s the Governor’s son!).  Liz cozies up to the guards while Lucky, dressed as another prisoner, breaks him out in a hail of gunfire.  After a few close calls, they are free.  There… has… got… to… be… a… way… burnin’ down th’ house!!  PCPD is a blaze with Da Man inside! 

Two sisters love one Lucas who is having a problem with alcohol.  

Halloween brings out the weirdness on the show!! 

As it is planned at this time, Jason is supposed to be SHIRTLESS on the Halloween episode.  Of course, since he evidently opted to shower in his shirt, this is subject to change. 

There’s a big Halloween party at 101.  Who’s going as what?  Edward is Ben Franklin, AJ is one of the musketeers, Courtney is Cinderella, Skye is Josephine (as in Napoleon and…), Mikey is a fireman and Alcazar is hearing The Music of the Night.  

Edward shoes his cruelest side to Courtney. 

Alcazar gets close to Maxie, in disguise. 

AJ gives Skye some advice about her marriage, after which, she and Jax make love.  Brenda sees the afterglow. 

Courtney is terrified when her stalker finds her alone in her apartment.  She fires the gun AJ gave her, then sees she’s killed Coleman!  She immediately calls Jason, who hurries over.  Jason sees that Coleman isn’t dead after all, then the phone rings.  Guess who?  This is the second time Courtney hit the wrong guy.  It’s the stalker. 

Brenda answers the doorbell to another trick or treater, but this time, it’s Alcazar.  He kidnaps her in his plane.  Sonny follows and they end up plane crashed on an island.  Jason and Carly team up to locate their missing spouses.

October 17, 2002 3pm

A Word From My Mom Dear Girls (and some young men too),  Well, I didn’t I’d get so many people writing to tell an old lady happy birthday, but it sure was nice to read all of the sweet things everyone said.  My birthday is on October 31 and I’ll be 80 years old.  I always did hate it when people would say things like “80 years young” because it makes it sound like there’s some turning point where you stop saying “old” and start saying “young” and that just shows when you really are getting old.  Also, thank you to everyone who sent their good wishes when I was sick before.  I am feeling a lot better now and more so every day, thanks to so many wonderful things that I have in my life.  One of those is this boy that you all think so highly of and well, I guess I do too.  He’s a really good man and I’m real honored that he chose for me to be his mother for the time we’re here on this Earth.  He really is just as wonderful as he seems and is good company for an old lady who can’t get out much.  He just spends too much time taking care of me and the farm and not enough time going out and having fun like a young man should.   I wish that I could fit all of you in my little room so we could watch our stories together and laugh and talk and eat popcorn and drink tea like Sagey and I do.  I know from your letters that you’re all a bunch of wonderful people who deserve the best that life has to give them.  I am constantly amazed that people take time out of their busy lives to externalize and care about an old woman that they hear about from time to time.   It’s not at all hard for me to know why my Sage cares so much about all of you and devotes so much time to making you happy.  For all of the hateful people who use the internet and soap operas to show the world their ugliest selves, there are a hundred of you who are caring, loving, fun and uniquely special people.  I’m thinking of you all and praying for you and wishing you the very best.  You have my blessings and I just want to say thank you again for wishing me a happy early birthday.  I’m going to have Sage print out all of your well wishes so I can show them to my girls.   Well.  I guess that picture Sage found really does look like me.  I’m a pretty good looking old broad if I do say so myself and I’m feeling better all the time, so don’t any of you worry about me.  I’m going to be around to keep this boy in line for a long, long time.  You can still write to me by clicking on the "Sage's Mom's Guestbook" link up at the top of this letter.  I'll read them all.  You've been real sweet to me to say such nice things.  I know this is going to be one of the best birthday's I've had.  I can't really say I've ever gotten so many well wishes before and I thank all of you. Love, Mom Bourland

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