Honey, you're either going to "get" me and know my heart and my intent or you're not going to "get" me at all. If you don't, know your limitations and just back away from the keyboard after clicking the little "X" in the box on the upper right corner of your browser window, ne'er to return again. May you have happiness all of your days. If you enjoy what I do, then pull up a chaise by the pool and stay a while. If that's the case, you're the very person I'm writing this column for anyway. I don't write to please the masses or kiss anyone's ass. Everything you read here will be from my heart, off my cuff and dead on honest. If you want a good read designed to offend no one, go to ABC.com because they are great at what they do. If you want to hear what I really think about soaps, life, etc, then WELCOME! This is an opinion column filled with gossip and rumors and, well, my opinion. It may not agree with yours and I'm good with that. *Please also note that this is NOT a spoiler or "exclusive info" site...it's a GOSSIP page and what we are discussing might be a RUMOR or a SPOILER, but isn't guaranteed to be what hits the screen. I'm NOT in the business of or interested in breaking the exclusives.* I suggest that if you want to read on, you make peace with that as well and leave your weapons with my Marshall, Lenore, before you enter town. You'll get them back when you leave. Believe me, you'll need them for some sites on the net and I don't want my loveys to go unarmed into war! Remember to click that smiley globe in the links above to help EOS and search from the search engine above to help even more! HOW TO DO "SAGE'S SEARCH."
November 27, 2002
4:20pm (hey! my favorite time!)
There's a new Sage Uncensored on Sonny & Carly! It just might not be what you think it's going to be!!
|funny stuff central|
November 27, 2002
Look under "Featured Site" for the one that says "Funny Stuff at Laugh.com George Carlin" NOTE: When you click onto the site TWO windows are going to open. One is for their store, that sells comedy albums, books, etc. The SECOND window is the one with the fun stuff.
|"swear bear" - censored for language|
Choose the 1st result. Must have speakers.
|snopes2 - Choose result #2, "Urban Legends Reference Page"|
November 26, 2002
You're going to love this one.
November 25, 2002
The Soap Column
All of the scoopsters are e-mailing one another like mad, crossing enemy
lines and selling their souls for ANY info on upcoming shows!
Is it the new sweeping regimes on ABC shows and at ABC itself tightening
the lid on spoiler leaks? GH
Co-Head Writer reportedly had a bit of a tantrum recently about leaked
storylines and supposedly purposely had false and misleading info dribbled out!
Could his fussing about scoop leakage have hit home with critical
sources? One has to wonder because
suddenly, it’s quiet as a tomb out there!!
of course, doesn’t mean we can’t gab and yak and speculate and gossip about
the rumors that ARE out there!! So
let’s get on it!!
December issue of Rosie Magazine (Pfft, *I* just learned that it used to be
McCalls! I had such a little boy
crush on Betsy McCall and her AWESOME clothes!
That was very quickly derailed by a serious crush on the smoothest and
coolest icon of all that is female – are you old folks ready to smile??? –
HONEY WEST!! OH yeah!!
Honey with her lovely beauty mark and sleek jaguar – I’m not talking
about the CAR, young’un, I’m talking the CAT – ahhhh…she made me want to
be a hairdresser! I was devoted to
Betsy until Honey West forced me into an early puberty) is something you really
must pick up. It has a glorious 7
page spread that features some of AMC stars:
(Erica), Jack Scalia (Chris), Aiden Turner (Aidan), Eden Riegel (Bianca), Jill
Larson (Opal), Amelia Heinle (Mia), Jason Olive (Frank), Vincent Irizarry
(David), Finola Hughes (Anna), Eva LaRue Callahan (Maria), John Callahan
(Edmund), Julia Barr (Brooke), and Rebecca Budig (Greenlee).
Vanessa? Around the first of the
year, you’ll be able to catch Marj Dussay back at home on “Guiding Light”
in her old role as Alexandra.
I don’t tout appearances and such, but I’m bored. On Wednesday the 27th, Greenlee will be on “The
View.” If she knits again, I’m
going to turn her off. Pffft.
Jesse’s ghost? The very alive
Darnell Williams will have a part in an upcoming episode of “Promised Land,”
which is a show on PAX network.
for Roxy to not go quietly into that good night but throw Asa for a loop!
With Mama Sylvia Miles turning up on December 26th, both the
real and the pretend Buchanan men had better get ready!!
(For Sage’s awe-stricken, devoted tribute to Sylvia, click
what I hear, the powers that be are totally floored by the overwhelming response
to the return of one of OLTL’s best villains, Mitch Laurence.
They plan to milk the marriage between Natalie and Mitch for as long as
possible, even teaming him up with fellow crazy person, Jen to make matters even
more interesting! Don’t worry,
fans, Mitch isn’t leaving anywhere soon!
you ready for #6? Another Joey
Buchanan is in the making and the casting search is on!
Of course, whoever they are, they must be informed right up front that
there is no hope they will EVER aspire to be anything close to the real Joey:
Nathan Fillion – of “Two Guys and a Girl”
and “Firefly.” Rrrrooowwlll
these people work in an orthopedic ER??
All I’m hearing is cast, cast and recast!
we got the fabulous offerings of Rick Hearst and Lane Davies, both of whom are
welcome to remain on my show for as long as my heart desires.
we hear that both Coltin Scott (March) and Jacob Young (December) are leaving
with a Lucky recast in the works, but no mention of what will become of Nik. Since Andrea Pearson is coming on board as the NuGia on
December 9th (we last see Marissa Ramirez on Dec 4th as
she departs for the prime time gig on “Miracles”) and the rumors seem to
indicate that Lucky is going to be VERY interested in her, it seems we may have
some brother rivalry reheating!!
being breathed that Jonathan Jackson is being approached about a very limited
return to the role of Lucky to wrap up a Luke story, but as much as I’d like
that to be the case, I think we are more apt to gain yet another new teen face
to get used to.
of new teen faces, forget about Evan Bonifant as NuLucas.
The honchos didn’t feel he was carrying the role as they’d hoped, so
they have already let him go (last airs December 18th) and cast CJ
Tomason to take over.
recast supposedly coming our way is Emily.
The stories are horribly conflicting as to whether ABC ever contacted
Amber Tamblin to revisit the role, but regardless, they want SOME Emily back and
the word is being breathed around that there really, really is a ZEm reunion in
the making. There has been a strong
rumor resurfacing that we will soon see Zander coming hard to the forefront in
both ZEm and in a backstory, provided via the new character whose name we think
is Ric. Chad Brannon was always
Guza’s golden boy and the story supposedly will give our co-Head Writer the
opportunity not only to showcase Brannon and his considerable sex-appeal and
talent (sadly neglected as of late and during the McTavish times), but also to
put one more nail in AJ’s coffin by making him the culprit behind the break-up
that should never have been.
while we’re talking about Amber, be sure and catch her guest-starring role in
the December 16th episode of CSI!
I personally just saw her in the horror blockbuster “The Ring” and
she was incredible as usual.
you are interested in the much lauded alien abduction 20 hour mini series,
“Taken,” starring Steve Burton, it will begin airing on SciFi December 2 at
9pm EST. Be sure and confirm local listings.
are running out of time!! Hurry!!
All of the Stephen Nichols’ 2003 calendars are going to be gone before
you get one (for me!)!!! Where else
are you going to see our Stefan??? I
ask you, WHERE??? Orders are taking
through November 30 at this website:
have it on absolute authority from one of the Head CassaHOs (and that title
doesn't go around lightly) that there is a LOT of skin in the gorgeous 13 month
*sigh* Alexis has not yet begun to crack.
Felicia is going to be giving Ned some advice on his relationship with
Alexis while that old Julia and Mason magic will be cooking to help the other
Gatekeeper get her eggs back into the basket.
PC’s busiest lawyer has a long way to go before she’s up to a full
Alcazar mystery is going to go on for a while (big surprise, right?) with first
Brenda and Jason being arrested, then Jason let go when the evidence doesn’t
support his arrest, then Brenda retained and Jax taken into custody when he
confesses to *sigh* save Brender. We
know Skye will have a field day with that.
really dunnit? My money is on Ric,
although one of my netpals thought maybe drunken Skye bumped into Alcazar and
knocked him off the balcony and will remember it in bits and pieces. With a strongly rumored blue line on a stick in her future,
having killed her baby’s father could definitely weigh heavy on a girl.
My dream killer for Alcazar? Either
Kristina’s ghost exacting her revenge or Alcazar’s twin brother who has come
to town to rid Port Charles of the evil that is his former wombmate (never
prosecuted, of course, since he killed him in self-defense trying to reason with
him and get him to leave).
trip into the bottle won’t be as long as one might fear.
As she sharpens up the old revenge razor with AJ, she’ll figure out
quickly that she can cause more harm sober than drunk, not to mention that a
hangover that never leaves could be morning sickness!
you read about the Anna Lee travesty??? You
HAD to know it was the lovely Ms Lee who was almost dumped to create more cast
money at GH! That was from a VERY
reliable source!! Yikes!!
Ric takes over for Benny (is that instant trust with the money or what??) and
Sonny sets up a test of loyalty for him. Jason,
however, isn’t very pleased with the newest family member.
and Liz are in closer contact when he moves over Kelly’s.
Look for lots of new relationships to be forming, including the revving
up of the Courtney and Jason love machine, of which AJ quickly learns!
We wanted Helena to
return, but supposedly, sadly, it’s a net rumor only.
Write those letters and bring us back some Cassadines!!
Before Brenda is taken into custody for murder on the 5th, she and Carly have a good catfight on Wednesday the 27th. These two are quickly becoming the best couple in Port Charles. From their quicksand adventure to “don’t come back,” “you look really pretty today,” they are a joy to watch.
LOVIN YOU, HUNNY!!
November 25, 2002
It's That Time, Folks!
Eye on Soaps needs the help of it's readers! If you like what you see here on the site, please consider contributing a donation to the monthly expenses of hosting an extremely high traffic site! We have attempted a number of different avenues for raising money to support the site. We thought that pop-ups would do it, but with pop-up killer being free, it only turns in a fraction of what we anticipated.
We thought the search box was going to be a big help (and it's our best bet yet!), but check this out! We got over 1,000 searches the first day that Sage's Searches debuted, which is a considerable amount and would more than meet our needs, even if it dropped off to 300-400 a day. Unfortunately, the company that hosts the search engine and pays out to the affiliates, decided that we couldn't possibly get that many searches in one day and pared down our hits, calling the ones they deleted "spammed." >:<
I wrote to the company and was simply told that it was their policy to have a "no tolerance" approach to what may be spamming and they were sure I could understand that. I wrote back that I was sure I could understand that they saw a new account that stood to make substantial money and had to nip that in the bud right away (honey, I wouldn't know how to spam a search engine if there was a gun to my head to do it!). I asked if they could explain what it was about those particular hits that made them eligible for paring and I still have not gotten an answer! Since then, our search numbers have been reporting in very low and I'm not sure if it's that people aren't searching or if they are still arbitrarily trimming our account (with evidently no recourse for debating the issue). I don't want to cut ties with this company because the searches are bringing in some money and the site does need it! So it's just not as lucrative as we thought it would be. Regardless, PLEASE, pwease, pwease, pwease continue to use the Sage Search Engine for Sage's Searches and your other searchy needs.
So before you are asea in Christmas spending (and if you are now, you are a better person than Sage!!), please consider making a contribution to Eye on Soaps if you like what we do here. Every dollar counts! To find out how to contribute, please click here. You may contribute with a credit card, PayPal account or send a check, cash or money order.
If you are financially unable to contribute monetarily, of course we still adore you! We do ask that you help us out by doing the Sage's Searches and letting the pop-ups load (holding down "shift" and "ctrl" while the page loads will disable the pop-up killer temporarily). (That stupid globe only pays out about once a year, by the way).
Between Mom's medical bills (do NOT get me started on insurance and HMO's and bullshit co-pays and stuff NOT covered or Sage will lose his sunny disposition right away *sigh*) and Katrina trying to pull it together after her hubby was laid off for 3 months, neither of us is in a position right now to shoulder the expenses, so we are once again depending on the readers who enjoy the work of the talented people who devote their time and energy to making this site so much fun!
Thanks in advance for your outstanding and generous support! We are definitely the luckiest webmasters on earth because even in the darkest times, our readers have carried us through every month. Eye on Soaps will NOT die!! :)
As a thank you, I'm going to pass along the same picture I gave you last year, just because it's so wonderful. OK, I'll do two. (No! Cissy! No!! - and not for the light of heart or virgin of eyeballs!!)
Click on the Santa and Reindeer for Soap Beefcake Skin!
Back in a bit with the real column!
November 25, 2002
My precious ones, there is
SO MUCH I have to fill you in on, personally and soapwise that I don’t know
where to begin! I suppose I should
just put a pin in the list and get started!
First, Kurt and the head.
If you haven’t read the story of the head, click
here and go down to the entry that says, “Yes, it’s me again” so
you’re caught up. I’ll wait.
OK, so Kurt thought he was
quite the wise ass scaring me out of my mind with the return of the hated head.
I knew I had to hit hard and hit soon.
Many of my loveys offered that I could send the head to them and they
would pass it on to Kurt, but I could not resort to something as benign as the
mail after his totally undoing of me this last time. So I waited. It
would have been my preference to lay in wait for many, many months before
exacting my revenge on him, but I kept seeing that damned head and it mocked me
most heinously and persistently. Even
when I hid it out of my sight, it was still calling to me with that “nanny
nanny boo boo” tone. >:<
The pressure was unbearable. I really think that is what lowered my naturally impenetrable
immune system to the point that I got this godless cold that is currently
kicking my ass. Kurt’s dumb ass
made me sick with that pieced together, hodgepodge thing that used to be a head
just because he couldn’t handle that I had bested him.
So I was a man with a
Last night, the opportunity
fell into my path like a bolt of lightening.
Kurt grew up just a short distance down the road from me.
He left home, joined the Navy for a while, met a lovely lady, settled
down, etc, etc, and by a series of events, the family home fell back into his
hands. He and his wife made plans
to return to the local area (yayyy!) and have been working on fixing up the
family house while maintaining a condo in their old location.
Kurt’s job takes him on the road quite a bit, usually only for 2-3 days
at a time. Kurt’s wife, Maxine,
stayed at the local house while Kurt went out of town since that has become
their home base as the sale of the condo is in progress.
So Kurt has been out of town
for a couple of days and while I was lying in my wretched sick bed, I was
praying for a way to get rid of that head.
It came. Yesterday, Maxine
called me all in a panic. It seems
that they have a buyer for the condo and they want to waive some part or all or
something (I’m a real estate moron, so excuuuuuuse me) of the escrow and
Maxine had to unexpectedly fly up to their old place to sign some papers and
leave all the keys and finalize everything so these people could move in ASAP.
This is a big boon to them because they got their asking price and
didn’t expect that to happen. I guess someone was desperate and the housing is not very
available in their area. Anyway,
Kurt was coming home in the wee hours of the next morning and Max had tried
repeatedly to get in touch with him through his cell phone with no luck.
He was out of range or whatever happens with cell phones when they
won’t work. She couldn’t even
access his voice mail. She wanted
me to keep trying to get in touch with him to let him know that she wouldn’t
be there when he got there in the wee hours.
She also wanted me to take her key to the place because their cat had
gotten out of the house for the first time and she couldn’t find it before she
had to leave. She wanted me to come
check on the cat, see if it had returned and leave some food out for it if it
hadn’t. She knew I was sick, but
Heh heh heh.
I assured her I would take care of everything.
I’m sure you’re getting the picture.
First…go to Kurt’s with
the key. Cat is waiting by the back door.
Let cat in. Feed cat.
Heh heh heh. I love being me. Played
with the cat for a while. Savored
fate. Thanked the Gods.
Pulled out the note I’d
written on a floppy disk and slipped it into his computer and fired up the
printer. Went upstairs, gave it a
little goose with Max’s cologne and taped it to the front door.
Heh heh heh.
Take the head to the bedroom
and top it off with a wig from the defunct salon that looks similar to Max’s
hair. Tuck the head into the covers.
Pull them up all around the head lovingly, arranged perfectly around the
wig-covered head with pins holding it to the mangled head.
A touch more of Max’s cologne.
Get a high five from the cat.
Handwritten note by the
phone. "Call Max on her cell phone. She's closing the deal on
the condo. Gotcha. Heh heh heh."
Crawl into bed.
“You twisted asshole.”
Heh heh heh
|beneathlosangeles - Choose result #1, then click to get to new addy|
November 25, 2002
|Nov 18-24, 2002||Nov 9-16, 2002||Nov 1-8, 2002|
|Oct 31 - Nov 1, 2002||Oct 22-29, 2002||Oct 21, 2002|
|Oct 17-18, 2002||Oct 12-14, 2002||Oct 7-12, 2002|
|Oct 1-4, 2002||Sept 20-25, 2002||Sept 16-18, 2002|
|Sept 9, 2002||Sept 2-4, 2002||August 26-27|
|August 19, 2002||August 12, 2002||July 28, 2002|
|July 18 - 27,.2002||July 12-16, 2002||July 11, 2002|
|July 8-9, 2002||July 2, 2002||June2002 cont|
|June 2002||May 2002||April 2002|
|Mar 2002||Feb 2002||Jan 10-31, 2002|
|Jan 1-10, 2002||Dec 2001||Nov 2001|
|Oct 2001||Aug-Sept 2001||Jul-Aug 2001|