Add Some Sage, Dahling, and it will tase just wonderful! Then let's scoop the latest ABC dish!! De-lish!!

Sage Bourland is our rumor technician here at Eye On Soaps. Sage will be combing the message boards, rumor pages, soap mags and set leaks for all of the choicest tidbits to pass along to you. Got a good rumor? Send it to Sage ! Please remember, rumors are just rumors and reflect what is being said around and about. They are NOT to be taken as spoilers or fact! It's all just girl gossip! Sage welcomes your letters and comments, but please, check any nastiness at the door. Sage is a peaceful warrior.

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Darlings, this is NOT an April Fool's joke! Our mailing list (the new one) maxed out (I love you guys too!!!), but I have hooked up another one to the same link below. If you tried to sign up for update notices and got some sort of "We're Full" message, please click here and try again.

I'm in...shock!! I had heard some remarks floating around for a while, one in particular from my #1 fan and Sagette, Lovey Lenore and a few others along the way, but I thought people were just joking. Then today, I got it straight out from my friend, Kate, who writes, "A Cynic Soaps Up" for Eye on OLTL and Eye on AMC. Like before, I thought she was joking when I first heard it, but then she let it out of the closet and told me that YOU PEOPLE THINK I'M GAY!!!!! (?????!!!!!) Where the heck did THAT come from??? (Not that there's anything wrong with that) Can't a man live with his mom, watch soaps, enjoy a little Barbra, call people "darling" and have the ability to recognize a really, really hot guy without being gay? Sheesh.

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The announcement you may have received today about a quick column is one that I sent out on MONDAY, March 25th (have a look at the date). Yahoo Groups, who does our 2 mailing groups, is really pissing me off between totally losing messages and waiting DAYS to send them out. Listen, I'm really not trying to jerk you guys around and I hope you don't give up on update notices entirely, but I really, really want you to have the very, very best and Yahoo Groups just ain't it as far as I can tell, so I need to let my readers know that I will be setting up yet another set of mailing groups to provide updates and I know it's a pain to sign up AGAIN but I REALLY don't like the way Yahoo Groups is treating us. Again, >:<.

I'll get back to you later today with the info. The notice, incidentally, was about the Brandon Routh post that is HERE .

Two points and the first one in particular I'd really like to drive home to everyone. I've had a couple of people write to me where I've given a similar response and I want to share it with everyone.

When you think in terms of how the head honcho's at ABC think or what they should or shouldn't do, you're engaging in an exercise in futility. I've had people writing to say, "Don't they realize..." and "How can they..." and "Why don't they..." and I mean to tell you that you are about as likely to sweep a dirt floor clean as you are to get inside the heads of The Powers That Be. What a lot of fans don't take into consideration is that the people making decisions about GH and other ABC soaps do not live in the same world as do we. They don't have the same thought processes or view things in the same way. We, as fans, can't get into the head of someone who lived in prehistoric times and know how they thought and made decision. We can know about their lives, their climate, their tools, their geographic situation, but we cannot know their minds. We can't imagine how a person starving in Ethiopia processes their day to day life. We can't really know what a chimp thinks inside its cage. It's a whole different life, a whole different world, a whole different paradigm and a whole different thought process. Don't even TRY to figure it out or you will be wasting your time and patience (Like the old saying: "Don't ever try and teach a pig to sing. It frustrates you and pisses off the pig."). So when you are thinking things like, "Don't they know a whole fan base is going to walk away as soon as Sonny and Alexis make love?" the answer is no, they do not know that. They don't even think that. For one thing, it isn't true. Some fans may leave, some will endure it, peeking through through their fingers until it's safe too look, some will love it and some will watch it eagerly and angrily and bitch loudly on the message boards. As I've said before, controversy they love and there IS no bad press. Regardless, a whole fan base is NOT going to walk away, so don't delude yourselves into thinking that. The Powers That Be know that and if it's a means to an end, they will endure that. Sonny and Carly will have a fantastic reunion in May and everyone will tune in for it in droves and their ratings will skyrocket and they will have a true sweeps week. Since the last 14-15 sweeps have been more like sleeps than sweeps, I'm sure this was very well planned. The ratings hang out around 3.0 for a while, seeming to be dying, then they will leak out word of the reunion, so some "there's more to the story" clips, everyone will tune in, ratings will jump to 4.0 or higher and they can celebrate their great success. Jill Farren Phelps has been very clear in saying that fans do not know what they want, they only think they do and it's her job to give them what they really want in spite of themselves. This is classic of the degree of ego and delusion that these exec's function under and make decisions based upon. Their vision is the only vision and they consider themselves to be artiste' extraordinaire so they don't accept much input on the creation of what they view as their masterpiece. They really don't care what fans think or what. They do not view the show with the same eyes as a lifetime fan or concerned citizen. Most of them did not even watch the show before they were hired to work on it. It's a whole different mindset.

One would think that numbers would matter: dollars and cents and ratings. That is only part of the picture. They also measure demographics, political favors, means to an end, essential sacrifices, friendly fire (shooting yourself in the foot to stay home and draw disability for a while to buy time) and hidden business agendas. So again, don't even waste your time trying to get into their heads and assign any logic to anything you see. It just doesn't work that way.

Secondly, it does appear that Angela Shapiro, head of ABC Daytime, has a new job. There is no word on who will replace her (one can hope it is not JFP). Likewise, it is unknown whether this is a case of the beginning of change on GH or a rat jumping from a sinking ship. Click here to read the article printed at HOLLYWOODREPORTER.COM . Basically, Shapiro is to succeed Maureen Smith as president of the cable channel "ABC Family Channel."

Since it may have been missed in the previous post, no, there is no indication that Sarah Brown is returning to GH.

Don your riot gear and grab your spears, warriors, but frickin leave Sage out of it. Bad news, but don’t kill the messenger.

It’s twue, it’s twue!! Alexis and Sonny are indeed going to hit the sheets before April is done. At least that was the semi-official word I got earlier today. I was waiting for someone, anyone, to confirm or deny the rustle going around and the news, well, wasn’t good. If it’s any consolation, I’ve heard the script written for it is pretty hot.

BUT, no matter WHAT you see on your screen in April, be fully aware that the big Sonny and Carly reunion is coming in May for the real sweeps. Like I told you from the beginning, S&C are going to reunite, but not before they have learned some lessons on their own first.

The speculation is that Nancy Lee Grahn is going to finally get to play out her dream role of Alexis as Diane-Keaton-Baby-Boom and I *know* very few of you wanted to hear that. THAT part is just rumor, but it wouldn’t surprise me because she was all for pitching the idea last summer and wanted to do the whole thing of Alexis making the supreme sacrifice of sending Sonny packing to Carly after she realizes he’s still in love with his ex. THEN she finds out the bun’s in the oven and looks to Jax and Ned for support (Good God, if this plays out – and it’s definitely not in stone – PLEASE let Kristina be gone by then or Sonny will know Alexis is pregnant before he’s off the downstroke. Lord knows Kristina will be broadcasting it from the rooftops, that mouthy broad. Sheesh).

I’m not getting ANY validation of a Webber sister leaving any time soon, despite the rumors that are flying around.

The sadder word is that Constance Towers may be leaving by the end of Spring. I do so hope it’s not true.

Still lots of rumor about the possibility of a new Cassadine (not Aiden this time!) as the Queen Mum, Gia, is thought to be knitting gold plated booties soon.

Speaking of Aiden, it’s pretty well agreed that he is the sun (son) hidden from the light, possibly a twin of Nik’s with Laura too drugged to know or perhaps an illegitimate son of Stavros’ (which would NOT give him throne status, so I’m betting on the twin theory). ANOTHER long lost sibling…aye aye aye. See, *MY* plan is that Laura conceived twins, but, in true soap fashion they were fraternal and one was Stavros’ and one was Stefan’s, so Helena The Omniscient, spirited away the dirty little Stefan baby and gave it to a servant to raise and has, ever since, paid off the family of the servant to claim the child as their own. Unbeknownst to them, Stefan found out about it some time ago and sent the family ring to the family, who stowed it away. Aiden then found the ring in a little pine box with his name inscribed along with a “in the unfortunate event of our demise” envelope in the family safe. Yikes! He’s a Cassadine and now that his family has died of mononucleosis, he’s going to claim his birthright from those high-brow capitalistic pigs! He lurks around PC for a week and a half, stalking Gia and Nik, first showing only his feet, then his hand with the ring on it, then his face and we’re all saying, “Um, OK, who’s that?” da da DUMMMM. Then he gets a job as the stable boy at Wyndemere and Nikolas sees the ring and all hell breaks loose as he accuses Aiden of stealing it. Elizabeth intervenes because she’s become friends with Aiden and in the scuffle, FINALLY rips out her stitches from the surgery and has to be rushed to GH before her insides come tumbling outsides. Lucky huffs and snorts his way to the hospital, declaring his love all the way, but when he gets there, Aiden is reading poetry to her, something like that annoying “Brown penny, Brown penny, I’m looped in the loops of her hair” poem that Ian Thornhart used to natter on about back when he was Patrick Thornhart on OLTL. Lucky is stricken by fury and storms out, only to find Sarah with her top off in the nurses’ lounge. They have hate sex and he realizes that he has Sonny Corinthos Syndrome (SCS) and has the best sex of his life when he’s with a person he hates. In an explosive scene, later, Aiden reveals all and shows the letter from Stefan where he admits parentage and the two brother cry and hug and go off for a campout with Lucky. That’d be my guess anyway.

Speculation is strong that when Skye returns to Pine Valley, it will be for the funeral of a beloved character. Bets are on between Myrtle and Liza (not that Skye is Liza’s best bud, but she’d be there for Adam).

Pfft. Also dead. Sam and Blair are still a go and Tea is all set to whisk Todd off screen in some way (preferably when he is accused of her particularly brutal murder, if I get to vote). Bo and Nora are NOT a plan, so keep your blood pressure down, folks.

That’s about all the rumors I’ve got, folks! Take care and remember to click on the Uncle Sam, then on the little smiley world to help EOS!!

My very dear friend, Katrina, who is the webmaster for our site, Eye on Soaps has asked from help from our wonderful readers. In the past couple of months, our traffic has increased to the point that the need for bandwidth has tripled, which has tripled the cost of providing the site. Due to frequent lay-offs, Katrina is unable to afford the monthly upkeep of the site on her own, so we really need to give her a hand to keep this fantastic site going. I have watched her struggle with the decision to offer advertising on the site when she (and I) hate pop-ups and banners so much. I make monthly donations as much as I can and a couple of other readers are great with their support. After giving it much thought, Katrina has devised a way that people can help without contaminating the site with ugly ads or digging into their pockets each month (unless they choose to do so, which is also welcome). Please click on the banner below to find out more:

I really do appreciate you taking the time to read this and to click on the link she gives every day to help us out. Eye on Soaps is the first place I have worked as a columnist and I can't imagine being anywhere else. Keeping EOS going keeps Sage's column going as well! So clickety, clickety, clickety, click, click, my little sweeties!!

I have the actual, original, complete statement (compliments of the incomparable MrsDrBean) issued by Brandon Routh regarding his termination.

On Thursday I was released/fired/terminated (whatever you wanna call it) and replaced. There will be a new Seth Anderson.

I am not truly saddened by this turn of events...in fact I am quite relieved. I have gained much and will now move on. I am saddened however by the lack of respect and humanity expressed by those in control of the show. Instead of being open and honest with me they were conniving and malicious. They actually had me come in to work Thursday, for four hours...then called me up to tell me they were releasing me! I do not stand for such treatment and this is one reason I am happy that I am no longer in league with people who can't give me respect. They would rather hide than be confronted with the actions they take. Know this everyone, if you can't deal with the consequences of your actions...seriously rethink your action...because you may get far in this world...but this world is not the world that matters.

That said, I will leave God to judge those who have wronged me. And I do forgive them, in hopes that someday they will understand what they have done.

Okay, enough preaching!!! I would like to thank all of you who have been so supportive of me before and during this role. It was so nice to come home and see that people cared for Seth and enjoyed me playing him.

I would like to apologize for not devoting enough time to this site and to those who took time to e-mail me...some I have mailed back...and many I did not. I am sorry and will strive to do better in the future. I won' t have a job...so I may have more time!

I will still be running the site for the time being. I have great faith that something will come along if I work hard enough. So, when something does happen I will let you know if you chose to keep checking in. I may even have time to put much more content here.

I however will be moving back to Los Angeles and so, the next month or so will be hit and miss.

Thanks Again...God Bless and have a Happy Easter!

Brandon Routh

What a whiney little girly boy! Surely his agent has informed him of the nature of the beast! Jeez, I'm sorry he had to go too. I kinda thought that boy-next-door (provided you live next to a reform school), Young Chris Reeve look fit in nicely and he was an OK enough actor, but hey, it happens! May "God judge those who have wronged [him]." ?!! Dude, get a grip! Show a little professional savvy! I mean, has he ever had a JOB before? Hasn't everyone been fired while they were at work before? Laid off while they were at work? Pfft. Wait til he gets let go from bagging groceries at Piggly Wiggly. He'll really be pissed off then...no wait..."relieved," but "saddened" that they didn't have to courtesy to give him a call and let him sleep in after he got the news. NO MERCY TODAY!! I am taking no prisoners in the war against whininess! Enough, already!!

A wonderful poster on our message board asked the operative question:
"What is ABC waiting for." Here is your answer:

For obvious reasons, there has been much speculation about exactly who is really sitting in the power seat at GH. Some say that Executive Producer, Jill Farren Phelps, is still firmly in control and Head Writer Megan McTavish is penning stories as fast as her little keyboard will write. Others say JF’inP is still in place, but McTrash has been secretly and quietly retired. Some say McTragedy is still there, but JFPee-yew is the one who has been eased out to pasture, pending the announcement. Some say both got the boot. Some say ex-Head Writer, Bob Guza, Jr (only slightly less hated than Beggin McTavish) has been brought in to ghost write for GH and still other rumors have Guza the Looza acting as EP.

The rumors and presumptions and downright outlandish supposition has been flying since Gedstern first broke the news back in October that change was in the air. It made perfect sense considering that JFP’s contract was up for review and subsequent renewal or termination in December. McT’s followed shortly behind in February. Every few weeks, there’s a bit of movement (“ I tell you, there was a vibration!”) and we think it’s going to break, but then it’s followed by long, long silence.

1). Normally, when an EP or HW has their contract renewed, the network releases a statement proclaiming that fact. If JFP and/or McT were staying on board long term, we should have heard something attesting to that fact by now. Silence on this is just…weird. 1 point for “they’re going”

2). Stories have been seriously stagnated and dramatic redirects have been enacted, sometimes after the original direction was committed to tape. Sorry. I totally trust my source. Sonny and Carly should have remarried in February in Martinique. This one wasn’t a rumor. It was real and it was a definite go. Suddenly, Sonny and Carly were on hold and Luke and Laura were rushed into an unreasonably precipitous reunion. I STILL maintain that Sonny and Carly are set for a reunion and working together against AJ is the beginning of it. How can I be so sure? I just am. Deal with it. Courtney and Jax were to team up and suddenly she’s all set for AJ as grist for the Sonny mill. Roscoe was set to be a big player with a story and he just *disappeared.* There was supposed to be a shoot-out involving Roscoe at the opening of Carly’s Club, which was actually supposed to be called, “Carly’s” and it is diminished to a skirmish between Sonny and AJ. Scott and Bobbie were supposed to be making out like bandits by now and that was timed out. Alan and Monica were supposed to be involved in a front burner story and that never manifested. 1 point for “New blood making redirection decisions.”

3). Vanita Harbor is coming back for several scenes. JFP would not allow that, I wouldn’t think, since Dara has not yet been reduced to whining, sniveling, man-desperate status. Another point for “Not JFP at work.”

4). Helena has come back out of a sure-fire trajectory to prison. Having quickly and systematically dispensed with Stefan, Stavros and Helena, JFP seemed to have made good her threat to rid us of the interesting Cassadines, who she deemed to “serve no purpose” when she came on board. Bringing back Helena, not only a Cassadine, but a strong, independent woman, again sounds like a non-JFP move. (1 point) JFP tends to dispose of the true divas post haste. Under her hand on OLTL, Dorian went on what is evidently the longest cruise ever (rivaled only by the one V is on with Simon) and on GH, Helena actually was destined for prison and sights unseen for weeks and weeks.

5). “The Help” is back. Elton had a scene in which he had more than two lines last week and Reggie appeared out of nowhere like Gabriel, the Archangel and had lines. Now if only we can resurrect Johnny (the real Johnny, not this wuss in the background), Tammy and Andreas, we’d have a SHOW again. JFP doesn’t “do” help. Another vote for JFP being defunct.

6). Golden Child Jensen Buchanan was let go and Friend of Jill’s, A Martinez has had comparatively no scenes, unlike his previous interjection into every scene as SuperRoy. You don’t name your kid after someone and then get short-scened. (A’s daughter is named “Ren Farren” after JFP) 1 point for "JFP is not the boss."

7). Anthony Geary is still here. After the Endgame fiasco where his script was butchered, I don’t think he’d still be around, mouthing these terrible lines if there wasn’t a promise of better things to come. 1 point for a new regime.

8). Word came out that the renewal of JFP’s contract would be based on the ratings of the show. They have been consistently abysmal and now that GH has been given the Klingon Rite of Discommendation (I am NOT a Nerd…I’m not, I’m NOT!!) by the Daytime Emmy Awards for the second year in a row, I can’t imagine how anyone could justify keeping her on. 1 point for bye-bye Jilly.

9). The writing still really, really sucks. That doesn’t mean Guza’s not doing it because Guza’s writing sucked when Patrick Mulcahey wasn’t around to spice it up. His direction for characters sucked and he, like JFP, would not abide a strong woman. If Guza is EP (as one rumor suggests) and McT is still Head Writer, it would be a fiasco of bad writing, bad storyline and horrible dialogue…kind of like it is with JFP and McT. In that case, if there was a change over, you might not notice. No attention to history, sloppy with details, dry conversation, cookie cutter scenes, characters trapped in caricatures of themselves…both Guza and McT have that problem as Head Writers and I’m sure Guza would carry that same handicap into an Executive Producer position. Points neutralized, possible one for change, possible one for no change.

10). The Sally Struthers/Jennifer Smith abortion of a story was pure JFP/McT. It was clumsy, not well thought out, did not appropriately use the talent available and was totally anticlimactic when it ended. 1 point for "she’s still around."

11). They just keep on comin’. JFP’s style is to bring on more and more and more new, usually young faces with little thought about who they will be, what their story will be and how they will fit onto the canvas. PLEASE give me a small break…FOUR sisters, THREE of whom are of the “long lost” variety in less than a YEAR? (Sarah, Skye, Kristina and Courtney) 1 vote for "she’s still here." Sarah just got here and if we count the pending “long lost Cassadine brother”, Aiden, we are up to FIVE new siblings in less than a year, FOUR long lost. Original thought? Not a one. Bring on a ton of new faces, let the old faces sit on the bench until they quit.

12). Ongoing kid recast. I’ve heard that JFP hates working with kids, dealing with kids and working around child labor laws. The shameful dismissal of Robyn Richards, the constant recasting of Michael and the recast of Lulu (as well as the seeming disappearance of Lucas) follows the pattern. A vote that JFP is still around.

14). JFP is fascinated by Sonny and Maurice Benard. He is still everywhere. 1 point for JFP still being in control. Her m.o. is to focus on one character or family (Rrrrrappaport) to the exclusion of all other characters.

15). Guza is way too much of an egomaniac to not have his name on his work. Unless over a year of unemployment has humbled him, I don’t think he’s there and the story is more likely a red herring to deflect attention from whatever is really going on, whatever that is. 1 point for JFP being there in name at least.

16). None of the characters has particularly experienced a change of behavior, which would undoubtedly happen if there was a change of EP or HW. No one is that flawless. If someone else was doing the work, we’d feel it. Someone would be experiencing a personality change somewhere and I’m seeing the same old, tired people on my screen. 1 point for JFP and McT still at work.

17). McTavish can’t write comedy. There’s been nothing funny. 1 point that she’s still there.

18). Sage is bored, Darlings, and regardless of whether JFP or MonkeyTavish is there or not, once nasty little kids start playing basketball in the hallowed halls of Wyndemere and Elizabeth is able not only to play said basketball, but to even talk about or contemplate swimming such a short time after surgery for a "blown lung," then change is needed. STAT. I don't care WHO is sitting in the power seat right now, they need to step aside in favor of someone who knows what they are doing.

The bottom line is this. Don’t believe anything you hear until it’s official. NO one really knows anything and until ABC talks, it’s all speculation. What’s the real dream? Give me Francesca James in the EP seat, Claire Labine as Head Writer and Patrick Mulcahey as Associate Head Writer. Keep on Michele Val Jean and Elizabeth Korte as writing staff as well. Ease out some of the new faces, bring back Stephen Nichols, Robert Kelker-Kelley and return the people who have slipped between the cracks like Brad Maule, Lynne Moody, Denise Alexander and Vanita Harbor.

Additionally, I have this announcement from AMBER TABLYN’S OFFICIAL WEBSITE:

Amber is interested in doing a SHORT stint revisiting GH and will be visiting GH to discuss possibility. Need to start a write-in campaign to JFP at GH that we are interested in having Amber return as Emily even if only for 2 - 3 months. You can find critical addresses HERE .

I wanted to let everyone know that I've received exclusive word that the gorgeous VANITA HARBOR has actually been taping scenes for Port Charles and General Hospital!! I, for one, greatly look forward to seeing Dara again! Now how about a STORY for her!!

A number of people have written to get my opinion on the recently announced Daytime Emmy nominations. I wish I could be more entertaining and informative, but I really wasn’t particularly excited about the pending announcement and I don’t really have much of a reaction to the nominees.

Susan Lucci isn’t really a surprise nomination and this is what, her 14^th? 15^th year of being nominated? My opinion isn’t probably a popular one, but I think she didn’t win in the past because there were better actresses nominated. She’s typical soap diva fare and although I love the character of Erica and Lucci’s portrayal of her, Lucci herself has often had competition that I feel surpassed her in talent and performance. I wouldn’t be surprised to see her take home another one this year as well.

Coming as a surprise is the nomination of Finola Hughes. She definite can act, but I hadn’t really seen any stunning performances coming out of her this particular year.

Jack Scalia? I think he’s a great actor, but as with Hughes, I can’t imagine what performance over the past year convinced anyone that he was award worthy. Again, he's wonderful, but he didn't really have much of an opportunity to give a particularly stunning performance this year. Regardless, this means more time of seeing him in a tux and that’s always a bonus.

Vincent Irizarry definitely has some good material from this past year and it would not surprise me to see him take it. He’s not one of my faves, but he has a strong body of work behind him this year and I think he could walk with it.

Cameron Mathison pulled a slick Sarah Brown move and submitted himself for the Supporting Actor category rather than Lead Actor and with the scenes around Gillian’s death, he’s definitely a strong contender. Again, Cam in a tux…gotta like it.

Josh Dumael’s nomination in the Supporting Actor category is not a surprise, but his win would definitely be. He is a much better actor than his performance in the past year has indicated, in my opinion.

Mark Consuelos in this category and Kelly Ripa in Best Supporting Actress definitely lends credence to the growing notion I have that this whole Emmy Awards system is totally rigged. Consuelos? What a joke.

Eden Riegel should definitely take Younger Actress, but it is a sin that Kirsten Alderson (Starr Manning from OLTL) is not nominated. As with Coltin Scott and many other blatantly absent names, it is altogether possible that they did not submit themselves for consideration. I expect this is the case in many instances where people we should see on the list are missing in action.

I am stunned that Rebecca Buddig was not nominated in the Supporting Actress category.

Jesse McCartney is a possibility in Younger Actor, definitely more of a contender than brooding, staring, screaming Jacob Young (they must have been in a shortage of younger actors).

AMC is also nominated in a few other categories of interest, including Best Drama Series, Best Costume, Best Casting, Best Hair, Best Make-up and Best Musical Direction.

I am aghast that OLTL was not a sweep over the nominations. I would have expected to see Melissa Archer and Eric Torpey both being nominated in Younger Actress, as well as Erika Slezak in Lead Actress for the outstanding performances in the Natalie-Jessica baby switch. Catherine Hickland and Hillary B. Smith both submitted for Supporting Actress and were passed over.

I am definitely pleased that it is at least nominated for Best Drama Series. It also in nominated in the lesser categories of Musical Direction, Make-up, and the all important Hair category.

Not sure why everyone is surprised at the GH shut out since GH sucked most raucously this year. Even talented actors would be embarrassed to revisit the cheesy crap they were forced to perform. Sure, Constance Towers made Helena’s near seduction of the frozen Stavros deliciously weird and lapped up the camp of it, but I seriously doubt it’s how she wants to be remembered. Tony Geary, a standard in the Lead Actor category, was hardly on screen at all and when he was, it was chasing after Felicia’s skirt. Nancy Lee Grahn is also a strong presence, but I don’t think even she feels the material she was given showcased her abilities to their best advantage. The only actor I can think of who was consistently wonderful and given great scenes is Loren Freeman as Elton and that was too infrequent to warrant nomination. From what I've heard, most of his best lines were ad libbed.

I’m still laughing out loud at Jacob Young’s nomination. That’s the best joke I’ve heard all year.

GH was also noticed for Casting (WTF???), Hair (Even More WTF???), Make-up and Original Song, with Wally Kurth’s “Barefoot Ballet” and “How Long” being nominated.

Better luck next time, GH, but definitely take some advice from Sage…go back to the drawing board and start over after having a big yard sale to cut your losses on most of the new actors brought in. Bad producer, bad writers, bad choices. GH definitely needs to look to its roots and find its feet again or there will be a third year of Emmy turning its head away from ABC’s biggest folly.

Oh thank God, thank God, thank God. I'm awake. *swish* What a HORRIBLE nightmare!! *gasp*pant*sweat* Oh honey, I just woke up for this terrible, terrible dream where I read that Gary Tomlin, EP for OLTL, was bringing Florencia Lozano back as Tea in March or April and that she would facilitate Roger Howarth's exit from OLTL. WHOA!! I'm soooo grateful that was a . . . what? WHAT?

In other, less frightening worlds, Stephen Nichols has won a Maddy Award (excellence in theater) for his incredible performance as a tortured priest (rrowwwl) in "The Dead Boy." Now THERE's an actor. Stupid GH, stupid stupid stupid.

On AMC, Greenlee is on the fence for too long and is going to end up losing both of her men when she can't make a choice. Leo gets screwed over by Vanessa again in a big way and ends up with Simone (and we thought she was outta here!! - you just can't fight those opening montages!), at least for a while.

Listen, I'm not going to belabor this, I'm just going to do what I always try to do with my column. I want to speak to you guys from my heart. There was a time that attacks and low-brow behavior really upset me and when I took this job, I really wasn't prepared, despite Katrina's repeated warnings, for how vicious people can be when you DARE to voice an opinion that differs from theirs. As usual, that did not keep me from doing it; I just wasn't prepared.

This is just for the record. When I write a column, I pretend that you are a friend that I am sitting down with to have a drink and talk soaps. I jot down all of the rumors that are worth discussing that I know of and just go for it. I don't candy coat content with you guys. I don't sit and think "Oh, I'd better not say THAT because it's going to piss off the Coltin Scott fans" or "Ooops, there went the Jacob Young people." I don't write to get attention. I grew up with plenty of that and I get plenty of that now when the computer is off even. I don't write ever having designs on being paid or hooking up with SOD or being more than a proud columnist with Eye on Soaps. I write to talk to YOU. That is my only objective. I write to tell you what I'm thinking, how I feel, what I've heard and what I think is real and what I think is bullshit. I'm not the New York Times. Rumors are not news, they are rumors and sometimes they are right and sometimes they are wrong.

Just like with friends, sometimes I might say something that hits you wrong or doesn't agree with your own personal opinion. It's going to happen. I'm not afraid of that and I love when someone else has a different opinion. It's great to hear a different angle and to listen to thoughts other than the ones banging around in my own head. I am the King of "If everyone thought like me, I'd be bored." Diverse opinions let me either solidify or modify my own feelings. I not only honor and respect others for having a different opinion than mine (as well as the courage to share it!), but I enjoy it.

I know I should expect that there are people who, when they read an idea or impression that doesn't validate their own, have to get vicious and mean and go on the attack, calling names, throwing around inflammatory phrases like, "you have no right to..." and "how dare you!" I know that these are people who do not have room in their heads or their hearts for anything that doesn't cozy right up to their own way of thinking and are too small to simply share their opposing thoughts without getting personal or nasty. It's really, really sad. I guess they have been hanging around the message boards for too long and have adopted that behavior as normal or have embraced it their whole lives and don't know how to or have a desire to be different. Maybe they just don't know what else to do or how else to be. (Also for the record, despite the steadfast assertions of a couple of e-mailers who are certain they know more about my intent and my actions than I do - the true psychics out there - I still do not ever, ever hit the message boards other than ours here at EOS. I'm just not interested in participating in the behavior I see out there.)

One thing I do have to admit. If the person that I am talking/writing to in my column can't deal with the knowledge that they will not always agree with me and that I will not pull punches or pretend to be something I'm not just to fit in or play their game, then they don't belong here and would definitely be happier if they moved on to the abc.com site where no one will ever say anything critical about the soaps or the actors. It will be safe there and they won't ever have to worry about their thoughts being contested. That will leave the rest of us here to be free to speak our minds without having to cringe for the coming blow from those who are terrified of thoughts that don't fit into their little, cramped box of ideas.

Lastly, (I realize I said I wasn't going to belabor this and I have written a book, but screw it. . .liquor is good and tonight, your company is good as well, so I'm going to slur a little bit longer) I just want to say thanks for two very special segments of my readers. Of course, I really love and appreciate those readers who write and say, "You GO, Sage! Sing it, Brother! I'm glad you said what no one else would!" They are my first thanks. The next is to those who were cool enough to write and say that they disagreed with something I said, to tell me how they feel about the same situation and also tell me WHY they feel that way. I'm talking about those folks who conduct themselves with dignity and provide intelligent and insightful comments (you know who you are). It's not about punctuation. It's not about being particularly articulate. It's an attitude of acceptance that others will have opposing thoughts and an interest in sharing their own feelings. To you guys especially, I say thanks.

To those who choose to oppose with a dark spirit and who can't share their thoughts without getting ugly and offensive about it, I just want to say that I get it. I really do understand like I didn't before. That is because of my mom. She is the one today who really got me to pull out of myself and my own feelings long enough to know and understand that for those who write and demean and call names and get nasty, it's just where they are in their lives. They either don't have to inner tools to allow them to behave in a more positive way or they know how to and choose not to because it fills some need inside them. I get it and although I'm a little melancholy that it took me 40+ years to get such a simple lesson, I'm so grateful for the situation and the sweet lady who, together, showed it to me so clearly. I love you, Ma. Thanks for the Crown Royal, too.

When I call you my Darlings, my Lovies, my Sweethearts, it's because in my mind, you are, whether we agree, disagree or spit and shake on it. I never expected to encounter such a staunch network of friends and co-patriots when I accepted Katrina's offer to write for Eye on Soaps. She told me the rumor page was the least visited page on the site and that I should not expect much. Now, almost a year later, I don't know how I got through a day without hearing from readers and feeling the embrace of this incredible community she has created. Lord knows my Ho's are a benefit beyond imagination that none of us could expect!

So here's the bottom line. I'm me. I don't intend to alter who I am for anyone who reads my words. I'm going to speak, I'm going to share, I'm going to laugh with you and I'm going to rant with you. We're not always going to agree, but I'll always be here for you if you want to be here with me. If that is not the kind of company you wish to keep, then I bless you and I wish you all the love and happiness and joy that could possibly light your life as you go on your way. For those who choose to pull up a chair and stay, talk for a while, have a drink, share a dance and laugh our way home, I ask that you come over here for a big group hug. C'mon. Get up. Come over here. That's right. Bigggg hugggg. Now, turn around and look at the person next to you in our hug, look'em right in their eyes and know that you are accepted and loved and appreciated no matter whether we agree or not. It ain't about agreeing or disagreeing or validating one another. It ain't a friggin' contest to see who's right and who's wrong on something as wildly subjective as opinions on soap operas and soap actors. It's about loving people. It's about sharing. It's about learning and it's about laughing.

Wait. Ya'll can get off me now. I can't breathe...group...hug...too...tight...can't...reach...drink. There. That's better. Love you too. Mmmmwwwaaahhh.

Dish, dish, dish! After a long, dry spell, at last some decent chat chow has poured into our bowl, so baby, let’s crunch!!

I love, love, LOVED the Proteus stuff this week!! I think I have some kind of freak fetish (oh be STILL, already) for breathy-voiced, desperate villainesses because when Vanessa was babbling her story to her “captive audience,” Sage was sitting on the edge of his teeth waiting for her every next word. Bring it on, Baby! Tell me more and make me believe it!! The way she justified everything and blamed it all on other people made me want to pin a Congressional Medal of Non-Accountability on her and run her fine old ass for office!! Whoo-Hooo! My favorite part of the whole week was seeing her pull a gun on Leo and breathing, “Look at me one last time.” “KILL HIM!!!! Ka-pow!! Take out the infidel!!” I was screaming. **whew** I needed to light up a Marlboro after that I don’t even smoke cigarettes!!

It was great seeing the conflict with David in jail and angry Chris in his hospital bed and dumbass Mateo with his stupid macho posturing. I like a story were only *we* really know what’s going on.

OK, Ryan…enough of the angry young man shtick. You’re starting to sound like a one note penny whistle and need to learn another tune…fast . I could easily forget that it’s not even been a year since poor Gilly started to go cold in her heartless grave and that he’s already bagged two wimmin and is greasing up #5 if he’d just broaden his horizons a tiny bit. Doesn’t he WORK any more? Is he just living off Gillian’s money? Does he have hidden assets (not that many of his assets are hidden given as much towel-work as the boy does) that we don’t know about? How’s he paying the rent at the old Pine Cone?

OH, a bit off really cool info if it would only get the fuse lit so it could blow. I heard that Ian Buchanan (mmmmmmmmm), former Duke Lavery on GH, has been contacted SEVERAL times by AMC about bringing back The Duke, but after then call and ask if he’s still into it, they leave him hanging!!! WTF?? Do you people REALIZE how FINE this guy WAS??? Let me refresh your memory!!!

According to his agent, Ian is HOT TO TROT on this and would LOVE to bring back Duke so GET ON IT, ABC!! While you’re at it, I really think TRISTAN ROGERS could use a call as well! If GH snoozes, let dem loozes!! We could make Pine Valley a happenin’ little town if Anna was (again) having to choose between prior spouses! *sigh* Every woman should have a nerve-wrackin’ choice like that!

I guess I don’t have to tell you that ‘nessa’s bolting eye open today was not just a nervous reaction. Her Ladyship is most definitely alive and about to be back in business again in nothing flat. Any hope she’ll be redeemed on this one? Hey, stranger things have happened in the soaps.

I’m wringing out my crying towel over Josh Dumael not renewing his contract in October (not). B-o-o-H-o-o. Pfft. I think the last time I liked him was the photo op in the park with sick Laura. Beyond that, he was just pitiful. Buh-bye.

Speaking of buh-bye, is Dix gone? Did I miss it? I saw she was babbling good-bye to Tad, then he was (head slapping moment for the future) going on about how he hadn’t wanted her to carry the OTHER baby to term and then she was gone. Guess I took a pee break at the wrong moment. Oh well, as I said…Buh-bye.

Other Buh-Bye’s I missed: Adam, Opal, Palmer, Myrtle, Mia (?), and Liza. I guess I missed when they left the show, as they must have done because GOD KNOWS THEY AREN’T WORKING ANY MORE and there have been PLENTY of moments where they could have been shining. I would have thought Stuart and Marian were dead too except for the 15 second shot of them walking in on Vanessa haranguing poor Maggie.

*sniff*sniff* Do I smell Maria? Surely with Edmund’s nuptials coming up by May, Maria will be “sweeping” into town from the dead, if you know what I mean. It *just* happens that Eva is 6 months postpartum in May, so I’m sure it’s probably a go. Since I didn’t like Maria in her first incarnation, I don’t expect to be pushing the thrill button on her return unless her accident left her with Kathleen Turner’s personality or something. I could handle Maria with a “better to rule in Hell than serve in Heaven” attitude.

Keep an eye on Vanessa’s lawyer…I heard he was a “Del” set up. (March 28)

Somebody’s getting married this Friday (and it ain’t me!!). It’s not Greenlee with either of her men, either…it’s Anna and David! Seein’s as how a wife cannot testify against her husband…

Break Bar catches fire and kills Seth, Jessica, Max, Al, Jen and Cris? Wait, no, that was my fantasy…never mind.

Since Roger Howarth and wife Cari just found out they are expecting a baby, I’m sure he’s doubly glad to be shedding OLTL in June!

If the funhouse story doesn’t end soon, I’m going to bite Troy to death myself.

For all of you young’uns, we did NOT wear shoes as fugly as Al’s in the 70’s and not all music was disco. Sheesh. I did, however, see Viki wear the dress she gave Natalie on the show and look HOT.

Of all the roles to flesh out, Chad (I hear you, “Who the hell is CHAD??” – It’s the nowhere blonde who works with Seth at Break Bar) is now a contract role. Go figure. Fall asleep from the freaking boredom of having another whiney twenty-something on the show more often, wake up and figure some more and you STILL won’t get it.

OLTL is still trying to cast Elizabeth, Keri’s mom. I wonder if Hank might just find a woman!! God knows he’s on the Most Needs to Get Laid list.

Kamar de los Reyes has renewed his contract for a painfully long 3 years. If only he could sustain a decent storyline without looking like an ass, I could legitimize keeping him around. High five for the good kick in the ass he gave “Mammy” this week for badmouthing his woman. Carlotta is definitely in need of a muzzle these days and maybe a distemper (get it, dis-temper?) shot. She’s definitely not up for a Mother-in-Law of the Year Award anywhere soon. Good for Cris The Stupid for siding with Big Bro!

Things that make you say, “Hmmm.” I heard an interesting rumor this week that at first, I didn’t give two thoughts to, but then it came for me in the night and I had to take a minute to wonder. We got a rumor a couple of weeks ago about a character named Aidan who was to play opposite Liz as a new love interest and he was described as “intense and brooding.” One of my spies told me that Steve Burton is not particularly interested in returning as Jason because GH wants a long term contract and he likes the TV and Movie biz too much to bind in to them, but just because Steve isn’t biting, doesn’t mean Jason is out of the question. SpyMan actually said the words, “Did you ever wonder if the Aidan is a red herring for a Jason recast??” Well, NO, Spyman, I hadn’t…until around 2am when the “a-doing” hit me in the head. Could it be?? I’d heard the guy was a poet and Lord knows Jason couldn’t rhyme beyond “What” and “Chicken Butt,” but hey, maybe that’s a red herring as well! Maybe we have a whole school of those little scarlet fishes swimming around! Or maybe it’s all a crock of crap (Have you ever really taken the time to imagine a “crock” - as in clay pottery - of “shit?” Like, Blech. Not a pleasant thought), but regardless, I felt obligated to pass it on.

I had wondered if I would hate this incarnation of Sarah Webber as much as I hated Jennifer Skye’s wide-eyed, slack-jawed version. Yep…I do.

Good God…I’ll bet ol’ Cesar Faison is spinning in his grave like a rotisserie that Wyndemere is now the world’s largest Frat House. Jest Kill Me Now. I guess Alexis will be the Dorm Marm.

Oooh. Tee Heeee Heeeee. Sarah and Lucky go to Carly’s Club opening together. Tee hee and they get all wet…heee heee and have to take their clothes off…heee heee. Can we BE any more 4^th grade than this? Pfft.

The rumor about Maurice quitting to take a prime time role is just that, a rumor. At least so far. My thoughts? I would be shocked as hell if someone offered him a prime time role given his limited range of acting ability. I mean, really, all he does is *be* Maurice Benard from what I’ve seen. That might work for the greats like Jack Nicholson or Nicholas Cage, but not for small kibbles and bits like Maurice Benard. Sorry, Legions O’ Fans…I’m just not seeing it. He just did an interview where he went on at length about how much he loves being on GH right now (Pfft, and why wouldn’t he since it’s now The Sonny Corinthos Hour??), so if it’s true and he has been offered a show and he is going to take it, it flies in the face of reason. On the other side of the coin, he’s been around for a while now, since Jason went to get him when Moreno was going Medieval in Port Charles, so he’s probably getting restless. Since soap actors are paid according to how many days a week they film, the guy has been making bank for month, so I’m sure he’s got a healthy little nest egg saved up in the First Nation Bank of Benard, (Holy freakin shit! I just realized that if you rearrange the letters in “Benard” you get “Brenda!!” Too, too weird. Too, too easily amused) and is pretty much set for as long as he wants to vacation. So prime time gig or no, maybe he WILL take off!!! One side of me, the real side, hopes he does leave so that other actors can get some air time, not that they will know what to do with themselves with no Sonny to talk about except est post facto. Almost all of the nonSonny stories have been bled right out of GH. The other side of me, the cringing, hiding, girly, weak, beaten-to-hell side of me prays he’ll stay so that my inbox doesn’t break from the influx of mail from freaked out Sonny fans.

Nah, I’m still sticking with my story for now = Sonny and Carly reunion, take 4 or whatever it is. If the wildcard theory is true and Jason comes back to Port Charles, that could make things even more interesting. He’s always been the jelly in that peanut butter sammich anyway.

Rumors are starting to wiggle out that ghost writers (like Bob Guza) are currently behind the GH we are seeing and that McTavish has been put on admin leave pending buh-bye. The word on JFP has been freakishly silent, especially since her contract was up for review in December. Even though we have not had some great announcement of a new regime, we should have at least had a quiet whisper that she’s been renewed for X amount of time or extended or whatever. Instead…silence. Nuffin. I figured if someone else were penning this stuff, it’d be one hell of a lot better than it is. I know you have to slow down a train (that is pending a huge crash) before you turn it around, but dang, let’s meet with some wind resistance at least! Lately this show has been like learning your spouse is a psychopath. You kind of want to leave them before they kill or mame you in some way then stand around and justify it.

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