December 8, 2004

Oh dear Lord, I have a hard time writing about this show!  I must first admit that this column has been under construction for weeks.  I started it, I abandoned it, I came back to it, I abandoned it, came back,...etc.  Shhh, but I've been watching General Hospital in exactly the same manner.  For the first time in ages, I don't  remember to sneak the television on at 3pm or even later at 10 when I have a child-free atmosphere to catch it on SoapNet.  I haven't taped it at all and have only managed to stay half aware of what's going by reading everyone else's columns and having nothing else to watch on occasion. I watched through the beginning of November, I guess and I think the combination of the Kristina reveal/Sam's miscarriage being all about Sonny and the focus on Nikolas and Emily just made me lose interest, finally.  But then I waffle, catch Skye in a plum sweater and skirt (with a rhinestone brooch - what a gal) instead of a homeless disguise and I'm oddly intrigued again.    

I was so bothered by the Kristina reveal being combined with Sam's miscarriage. The SWEEPS story that should have been heart-wrenching, canvas changing...all that blather that you hear from ABC execs, and it boiled down to Sonny's angst.  His chance to play God with the stem cell decision, his immediate thought to seek custody of Kristina from Alexis..??... I just don't know what to say about it.  Don't know what to say about Alexis' varied thank-yous for stem cells that were of no use to anyone, and wouldn't have been at that point even if Samantha's baby had come out squalling like a warrior (which I would have loved...why not have three relatively same aged Corinthos spawn?  That's future storyline gold!!).  I'm just sort of shocked (though I can't imagine why, considering) at the depths of Sonny's cruelty.  Making Alexis beg and wait for a decision about the stem cells left me wanting a scalding hot shower.  And Carly managed to top it off with "And Alexis, your kid is ok and she's going to live because of Sonny's decision to save her".  Ugh.  May we kneel and lick his boots now or shall we wait until later, sir?  Apparently now is fine for boot licking as Alexis can only respond with tears in her eyes while Sonny postures about how he never lied to her...blather, blather and "she knows he's gonna win full custody".   

He's (Sonny - I just didn't feel like saying his name...makes me want to spit) admittedly sweet with Kristina (when he's not making threatening comments about how he's going to yank her away from her mother) but he wins absolutely no points with me by being horrid toward Alexis.  I would have much preferred to see Sonny utterly broken by the events surrounding both daughters.  This should have been the catalyst for a descent into onscreen depression, giving Maurice Benard the storyline that he's asked for time and again and giving viewers a break from the great Assholio.  This should have been the moment where Sonny finally realizes he's NOT  exactly good father material nor is he able to provide security and safety for toddlers.  Sonny's heartlessness notwithstanding (and that's so not Sonny, if you know him from 1994 or so), there was some worthy soapy drama (just not enough to keep me continuously interested, I guess) in Port Charles during this time of year when everyone is vying for a shot at an Emmy.   

Jason's scenes with Sam and holy cow... Jason's scenes with the baby behind that privacy curtain while Sarah MacLachlan's voice haunted Elizabeth (for some reason) watching him through the glass door.  In spite of an ill-conceived Sonny has a mistress and got her pregnant but she boinked Jax too so it might be his baby thingy, Sam and Jason work so well and I'm appreciating the real time approach to their growing relationship.    I'm surprised that Steve Burton is giving it his all, quite frankly.  He tanked that "Journey" romance the same way that Alicia Leigh Willis is tanking this "Casper" thing, imo.  I'd love to see the long standing rumors that Sonny (and Jason, by default) will one day go legit come to fruition.  I think that a Jason/Sam story in where they are both trying to be normal for the sake of each other would be a good direction.  Of course, it could always be rife with his temptation to shoot someone for money or hers to dive for stolen gold or maybe enjoy a romp with Jax.  I'm being cynical, I realize...but I'm pretty much over all things mob related until Tony Soprano finally drags himself back to HBO.   

I mentioned "Casper".  Courtney and Jasper, lol.  Muffy and Biff. Well, look...I really liked them at first.  They were Muffy and Biff-ish, but there was a certain sparkle in the Aussie playboy's eyes when they rested on that fellow sunkissed surfer blonde.  First, there was the bet which prompted Courtney to act like a tease, alluring at moments and quick to take offense in the next.  Jax played it amused and it was cute for a while.  But while other storylines are hastened to the point that it's hard to recall which near death experience NEM was enduring when Helena fell, when roses bloomed, when Zander went down in a hail of bullets...the Casper bet hacked and dragged on like a limping goose.  I was really tired of the bet and just wanted to see her rip his white tuxedo jacket off in a passion that never bloomed when she blushed and lowered her eyelashes at Jason...when Diego appeared to replace the bet as that which prevents them from actually getting together.  Diego made Jax play Neanderthal (not that he wasn't right about the inappropriateness of it all) and Courtney play shrew.  Welcome, kid.  Thanks for making me lose interest entirely.  I'm wishing Jax would say, "To hell with this crazy, Sonny related be-yotch" and arrive at Elizabeth's door with a lovely little British nanny for baby Cameron to take Lizzie dancing in her pearls and red lipstick. 

Did I speak of Elizabeth?  Ahhh, didn't she look lovely at the NEM wedding?  Aren't she and Greg Vaughan just the two most delectable humans?  I hate the way the writers make Lucky some weird police pod person, as if he has a tape of "PROTECT YOUR COMMISSIONER" running through his brain.  Love the way Coggie says, "le sigh".  I sure do miss the cowboy part of him, but I could be persuaded to tune in a lot more often if Lucky got an actual story.     Always wondered if we'd ever see Maxie and Lucky get together but I guess we most assuredly will not.  Le sigh.   

The NEM wedding was beautifully done.  It's horribly stupid that they got married under the dire circumstances of Nikolas being imprisoned for murder, gosh after Emily last got married while glossless with cancer in the hospital.  But yeah, everyone looked pretty fabulous.  I would have liked if Emily had flown into one of those signature rages, breathing and stomping at Elizabeth for showing up the bride.  That would have been a better catfight than anything Carly or Sam can throw out.  Oh, my.   

I love Ric and Alexis.  I just can't stand that Ric is related to Sonny, I think.  That he has some "weakness" over Sonny, the sonovagun who is trying to remove his wife's daughter (who barely survived just last month) from their home. I want Ric to be written as a more stand-alone character, removed from the constant position of when it comes to opposing Sonny, always being the bitch.  Jason, Lorenzo and Jax already are employed in that department and at least two of them deserve clemency too.  Le sigh?  I think so!  

For not watching the show, I suppose I've rambled enough.  I hope that everyone is enjoying the most wonderful (and shoppingest!) time of the year - I'm almost past the seeking and buying phase and I'm easing into the wrapping phase. I can't wait to enter the relax and ponder the Miracle of Christmas phase.  That's the best one, by far.  My son is in his first Christmas play this year and it should be interesting to see if his capability to channel high drama will translate onstage.  I have a feeling that it's reserved entirely for me, but you never know I suppose.  He could be the next Maurice Benard! Oy. 

"Don't smoke the mistletoe. It may look good man, but it's harsh."  - Snoop Dogg's PSA on Jay Leno tonight. hee 

   
 

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