June 4, 2003 

Ya know that site – www.internetbumperstickers.com that Kathy Hardeman is always telling you about?  Go check it out if you haven’t.  I promise at least 20 minutes of completely wasted time spent giggling at all the different ones.  I went looking so I could find a proper sentiment since I so royally screwed up my Monday column.  I was so inspired by my ideas for Camelot Courtney that I just ran with the idea that she had chosen the last dress that Biff had brought in for her.  Did I miss the drawing by Biff?  Evidently.  Chalk it up to my superflakiness lately and please forgive me.  No matter what her “custom designed” dress looks like, I’ll still be pulling for the Arthurian theme. ;) And here’s a question to ponder while you read the rest of what the Fashion Police will hopefully be commenting on with a bit more accuracy…


In keeping with her flair for retro, Skye recently wore a black dress with a neckline of large white beads.  Some things are better left in the past and it’s my opinion that this is one of them. Yikes, that was an ugly dress.  I couldn’t even concentrate on what was going on because I was so focused on those beads, trying to determine if they were pearly or just plain white plastic.  I really love the olive green sweater that she was wearing on Monday and Tuesday - funky and stylish – that’s my Skye.  Just stay away from big plastic beads – I think Princess Brat is getting big enough to yank one of them right off and send that dress down to the floor.   

I received a letter that encouraged me to talk more about Emily’s wardrobe.  How it’s all very appropriate for her character – the suede jackets and worn jeans that suggest she has just returned from Arizona, the velour sweats and hoodies that she wears after her chemo treatments.  I agree – she has been clothed remarkably well since her character’s return.  I enjoy that Emily has a finite style and wardrobe continues choosing outfits that work within the parameters of her character, never feeling the need to continually reinvent.  I love the Romeo and Juliet feel of the Zander/Em relationship and was particularly enchanted by Zander telling Emily “I have lived in jail and I have lived without you.  One I can do. One I cannot.”  With proclamations like that, I just want to know more of Zander.  I want to take him under my wing and after burning that tragic black 1984 jacket, I’ll tell him that it’s all ok.  Emily is just being soapy and dumb and if he hangs in there for the summer, he’ll get some action.  I’m sure of it… 

The day that Elizabeth returned to work at Kelly’s, I loved the red Chinese style blouse that she wore.  It was simple and classic, neatly paired with a denim skirt.  She had her hair pulled back in a ponytail – such a fresh look for Rebecca Herbst.  I feel that Liz is still teetering on the line between being a teen/young adult and a woman.  I think we’re supposed to be leaning toward “woman”, considering her marriage to thirty-something Ric, but sometimes she still feels so young.  I’m not fond of the little zip-up hooded shirts that she wears  - the cap sleeves and general tiny-ness of those do nothing to suggest her being a more serious grown-up.  Now that we can assume her financial freedom, Mrs. Lansing can start looking the part.  I look forward to it.   

Looking very womanly and quite lovely, the Jones girls (or are they Scorpio girls) went to the high school prom.  Georgie’s red dress was very pretty and Maxie’s one shoulder aqua concoction was really beautiful, an innocent look to downplay her “Maximum Maxie” scorn.  I’m practically ashamed of myself for loving Dillon so much but he wore a gorgeous tuxedo with a black shirt and dark burgundy tie that was incredibly sophisticated.  I confess that I talk out loud to the television, advising Georgie to see what she has right in front of her.  Lucas cleaned up well too, a standard tuxedo with a silver bowtie and a big fat red rose boutonniere.   I can’t believe how much I’m enjoying the teen scene.  If the writers actually started investing some real story into them, giving them parents and dilemmas beyond trying to lose their virginity way too early, I would really be impressed. 

Stefan!  Did I use the word “resplendent” in my last column on Jason???  I wasted it.  Stefan is resplendent.  Only him.  His dark suit, his pewter tie, so crisply and perfectly tied… How shall I survive 2 men onscreen who dress so sharply?  I don’t mean Jason, I mean Ric...who I’m just declining to acknowledge until he’s finished being utterly crazy over the stupid plot device miscarriage that has managed to irritate me immensely.  He’s still gorgeous and still dresses well but that’s all I’m sayin’.   

OK, one of my other confessions is that I’m very much a Grammar Police.  While my Fashion Policing (usually ;) only takes place in Port Charles, my Grammar Policing extends to real life too, and frankly annoys the hell out of everyone.  I try not to do it, but my husband in particular, has a way of slipping into this relaxed speech wrought with double negatives that makes my hair stand on end.  He’s not uneducated…he can speak very well…in fact, I think he says things like “I don’t want none” just to annoy the complete hell out of me.  Anyway – it did not escape me that Sonny said to Janine, “You were brought in here to break them two up”.  OHMYGOSH.  Did I actually used to love this man?  I forgive my husband because he does things like taking all three of our children out of the house periodically…but what the heck has Sonny done for me lately?  We’re through, I tell ya.  Then, he turns around and tells Courtney “Being part of this family means you never have to apologize”.  OOHHHH…is that what it means?  Is never having to apologize supposed to be a good thing? Frickin’ Sonny.  It’s a good thing that Carly’s waltzing around in cool clothes like that strapless black shirt that would make me want to get pregnant again just to wear…if I had skinny shoulders and well, nevermind, I don’t want it that bad.  It’s just a good thing that I want to see what Carly is wearing; otherwise I’d just be ticked off having to watch anything that happens in that decidedly hideous living room.  Isn’t it time for her to redecorate something?? 

How about Janine’s shiny paisley suit?  Isn’t she a trip?  Yeah, I know, she’s crass, drunk and supposed to be completely villainous but I actually agreed with what she was saying.  How scary is that? Not the stuff about the money (and of course that’s what it was all about for her – she couldn’t really just care about Courtney), but the case she was making about Jason being a gambler, and the same kind of man that Mike was.  I guess the “Journey” relationship is being written as the most important thing in the world to both parties, but my money is on Jason’s business taking priority somewhere along the line.  Of course, I could be totally off base because mob relationships don’t seem to be tainted by the same stuff that other soap loves are.  The women understand everything; the men are honorable, loyal and walk out of bachelor parties without so much as a taste of a beer.  Sure. 

I hope that everyone is having a great week!  We’ve had 2 days of sunshine in the last two weeks, so if you could send a good thought or a “stop the rain” dance my way, I’d appreciate it.  And as always, if there is a fashion faux pas or an outfit that you’re loving or if you just wanna say hi…feel free to drop me a line.  I love to hear from ya!!! 

  E-mail Dayna

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