Ooh, look – I’m so late with my column that you can enjoy it, even when you’re no longer able to enjoy General Hospital (due to war coverage…not that there is any other reason you shouldn’t be enjoying General Hospital).  After all, we’ve seen a wake, a shooting, a trial, a breakup, brutality, another funeral (with yarmulkes even!) some sexy stuff and the incomprehensible drama of Courtney shaving Jason’s face while “Your Body is a Wonderland” plays on.  What a week (or two…or a little more) since I last wrote.  The worst part is that I really enjoyed that darn song prior to it bringing up visions of Courtney perched on the sink.  I watched last Wednesday’s episode of The View where the Daytime Emmy nominees were announced.  Alicia Lee Willis (Courtney) was in attendance and I couldn’t help but daydream a bit about how I could have enjoyed her character if she’d never been paired with Jason.  Reminiscent of an Old Navy commercial, fresh faced and collegiate, she should have remained AJ’s wife – the struggle of her honesty vs. his treachery would have enthralled me much more than the same ol’ “Jason gets all”.  She would have been well placed in the college crowd that they are attempting to develop (or are they?) with Lucky, Gia and Summer (who really isn’t so well placed there).  She already had some tension with Gia (remember the car accident?), a little spark with Zander, and I wouldn’t have minded at all if they had let valiant Jason save her from strip-dom and caused hissing between Elizabeth and her.  Just…this…this business of insta-luuuv won’t get past my gag reflex, no matter how much they try to make them seem sexy.  The shaving scenes just made me want to DROWN the two of them in their “deep sea of blankets”.  Am I bitter here?? Indeed. 

On a much less indignant note, I’ve been weighing the pros and cons of how to wear a diamond necklace with a turtleneck.  Carly lost points with me for trying.  She’s worn about 6 outfits since Catherine’s wake that would have looked better with the heart of the ocean or whatever the heck the Titanic lady gave her.  Still, Carly is lovely, especially when she curls her hair.  Just the opposite of Summer in my opinion – when her hair is curly, it looks too sticky to touch and that is sooo not a good thing (especially for a hooker I’d imagine).  

It is March and the weather is iffy, but it’s always amazing to me how soap characters go from turtlenecks and coats to Caribbean vacation wear within days. I’m surprised that Sonny allows Carly out of the house like this…

Don’t be fooled by the rocks that she’s got… 

Speaking of Sonny – wasn’t it a hoot when Courtney came into the Cellar wearing a really spectacular green dress and he questioned her choice of work clothes?  I thought it was at least more modest than the practical teddy she wore to the club’s opening and sheesh, she was wearing yellow panties on stage a couple months ago – ah, see…he must be the mastermind behind the corduroys and sweaters.  Darn control freak.  He needs a mega makeover too – I think Sonny’s been wearing those same mandarin collars and pleated pants since 1992.  Can’t we get him in a sweatsuit one morning?  Doesn’t the man jog or something?   Are jeans out of the question?  Alright, forget the clothes – can we just get him to treat anyone else with a modicum of respect?  I didn’t think so…never mind.  One dimensional he has become and one dimensional he will remain, I suppose.  Can we get a maroon mandarin on set for Mr. Benard?  DID YOU HEAR WHAT I ASKED YOU?????? (Cah-rash goes the decanter) 

I talked about Gia last time, declaring her a bit frumpy and buttoned up – a real departure from the character in my opinion.  The day that I sent in my column, she shows up at Kelly’s wearing leather and funky jewelry, hair spiky and wild.  Whoa!  So much for my assessment, huh?  Maybe the actress/wardrobers are finding a bit of a niche for the character – blending style with a quest for education and career.  That would be something, wouldn’t it?    

How about that Faith?  Grinding around on poor Benny’s lap in those wacky pantyhose… I wonder if she wore all black before she was grieving for her husband?  I’m betting that she did.  She’s a delightfully ee-vil character – I’d like to see her really get to have some fun.  She’s probably not in a very good position for it, disagreeing with Sonny and all, but I have really enjoyed anticipating what kind of black blouse she will next wear with that pleather skirt.  I had to laugh at “the Organization’s” inability to locate the mysterious “Sam” the Hitperson.  Umm…color me suspicious but the gorgeous black woman (cuz there ain’t many of ‘em in PC) wearing the leather beret and cozying up to MobWoman at the PC Grill might just be a good place to start.  The mob stuff is a big downer for me anymore, especially in a world that’s rife with animosity and political tension.  I’d give up Diet Pepsi for an afternoon’s worth of intrigue, drama and some inspirational romance.  Insults, screaming, and chauvinism – my beloved soap has turned into a crummy ex-boyfriend. 

I can’t end without a bit about Lizzie and Ric.  I would like to be enjoying their relationship.  I appreciate both actors for their skill in making me believe they are the characters they portray. Their banter is believably sexy and I’d say that they definitely capture the elusive “chemistry” often spoke of on Internet message boards. Besides they’re both downright gorgeous so I like ‘em.  I just wanted them to wait a little bit before leaping into bed.  I’m getting to be a bit of a fuddy-duddy I suppose, but it wasn’t played to seem like a “too hot to not” first encounter and there just wasn’t enough courtin’ for me… and I know Ric would court well.  He at least bought her one nice present in the art book, but she could have probably at least gotten out to the Grill once or twice.  Hmm…I need to tie fashion into this paragraph so I’ll ask the question – Was Elizabeth really planning to leave Ric’s room with HER SKIRT UNBUTTONED???  What has become of her? 

Because y’all seemed to enjoy it, I’ll continue to crown a Fashion King or Queen of the Week.   At my friend Kathy’s request (she writes the great “On the Soap Box” columns, but my computer is acting freaky so I’m having a hard time inserting a link here...if you haven’t checked it out go find it!!), I’m crowning Luke Spencer this week.  He’s an original, baby.  He could teach Lucky a thing or two.  And Nikolas while he’s at it…but I think both of those boys have made strides in the hair department – it at least seems to be improving.   

In absence of GH, I’m left to my own devices in order to entertain you, the treasured reader.  Tune in next time and feel free to e-mail me with any comments.  I love to hear from you!! 



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