I am calling out the dogs on that white satin tragedy that Jax was wearing the other day (when he went to the awards banquet and Skye feigned the headache).  Oh, you know the one.  The fact is that it was…gasp…stolen!  Yes indeed, there is a St. Vincent DePaul Society clothing bin right behind my church and I’m just positive I placed that particular piece of history through the slot back in 1991 or so.  I won’t even mention the fuchsia velvet leggings that went along with it, or the fact that I sported the combination to a Motley Crue concert…oops I mentioned it, so I guess I am just going to have to go ahead and confess that I was at the time, a complete fashion disaster.  I prefer to think of it more as an identity crisis (hey, I was 16) and I find that is an appropriate excuse for cheap white satin.  Jax however, has absolutely no excuse for that travesty.  He even gets a whole paragraph here for it.  Ingo should have thrown a complete tizzy in wardrobe – Robin Christopher should have fallen out in peals of laughter…something should have stopped him from appearing onscreen in that...that BLOUSE! 

The Luke and Laura non-wedding had potential if perhaps it had happened.  Lucky and Nikolas looked particularly delectable – they really are a couple of hotties and those buttercream yellow vests were just beautiful beneath their tuxes.  And to think if he had shown up, Luke would have probably dressed similarly.  Oh Cissy – the wallpaper you missed!  Gia was gorgeous (could she be anything but?  Unless she is wearing that Coolio-esque hairstyle, I just love her to pieces and think she always looks fabulous) in lavender, Amy looked nice in bright green (but what was that flower growing from her head?), Elton was impeccable and hmm…I think everyone else was ok.  

 And then there was Bobbie.  With her two extra guests.  My gosh, do those things breathe on their own?  My twin daughters aren’t that big.  I think wardrobe would do well to give her necklines that are a couple of inches higher and dresses that are a couple of sizes bigger.  Who says that breasts falling all over the place is sexy?  (OK, Doug read this and says that it can be sexy but they should pretty much be breasts that are years younger that Bobbie’s)  I’m still not convinced… I think she needs to wrap those rascals and opt for a classier look.  It’s not like we would (or could, regardless of what she wears) forget that she has a great bod and a pair of knockers that could potentially exhale.   

And then there was Lesley.  Gross.  Wasn’t Elton having a conversation with Laura a couple of weeks ago about the mother-of-the-bride dress?  I remember him saying that it just couldn’t be beige (with a short e pronunciation – God, I love Elton).  Well, he was obviously left out of the loop on the actual selection because you know he had nothing to do with that freaky red/purple mess she appeared in.  And the hair, oh the hair.  I would have whipped that nest into a French twist and had her in a pale column dress with a matching short jacket and it would have been so much more…palatable?  As is, it was gross, gross, gross.   

The rest of the week was fairly unremarkable as I recall.  Skye and Jax’s engagement party (party of what, 4 people?) was bland as far as the fashion police are concerned.  Skye looked particularly dull on a day where you would have thought she would shine. 

Loved her sheer green sleeveless tank with the straight skirt on Thursday though.  I raised an eyebrow at her sailing attire earlier in the week.  People, it’s New York and no more than 3 hours north of my humble Baltimore home.  It has been hovering around 100 degrees here for over a week and I say that the sweater tied around her neck was simply unnecessary (not to mention annoying).  If I strolled down to my sailboat (yeah..) with a sweater on today, I would possibly be committed.  Ditto on Liz commenting that she didn’t understand how Jason could drink coffee on such a hot day.  Ya know what I don’t understand missy?  How the hell you’re wearing a long sleeve shirt to work at the diner.   

All in all, I’m most annoyed by the unending parade of multi-colored t-shirts that Jason wears.  I realize that he is unconcerned with appearances; he’s a man’s man yadda, yadda, yadda.    I still believe he has a few options beyond something that comes in a package at K-Mart.  How about a ribbed t-shirt?  For her pleasure.  Heh 

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