It has been so long since I have written a column and I can tell you that I have started several, only to be distracted by sick children, snow and all sorts of other things that are not conducive to my creativity.  I’ve missed out on making some really snide comments about GH fashion…yes, I know – Brenda is leaving and I wasn’t even here to say that her “returning from the non-annulment” sweater looked like something I fashioned in 7th grade Home Economics class (what was up with the third arm? lol) or that she was wearing a steering wheel on a string around her neck.  I don’t even know what to say about that wedding dress…I guess it was a little bit on the modern medieval side, complete with arm warmers that Brenda must believe are a wedding requisite.  Her hair extensions were pretty cool but I didn’t think the magnolias in the back were altogether fitting with the gown.  And then there were the clear plastic heels…shew. Anyway…I’m completely disappointed in the non-wedding itself and of course the general lack of romance on the show, even on Valentine’s Day.  It’s hard for me to type that I loved Jax’s pale blue silk tie and admired the HUGE boutonnieres that he and Ned wore, when I just can’t even believe how incredibly rude he was about dragging Brenda to the altar and telling her that he can’t marry her.  

While we are short on romance and gestures that warm the heart, at least we have plenty of insanity and violence, and the players in those games have been extraordinarily well dressed.  Skye arrived at the (non)wedding in a green with envy dress that was to die for.  I get excited when she looks like a million bucks because I worry that the gray flannel ruffled skirt incites her to do silly things like stand on high ledges, threatening to jump.  Eh, that’s probably not a very good theory since she did carry a gun to the wedding (I guess she figured it’s not so hard to get away with murder at the PC Hotel) but I really don’t like those ruffles on her.  Wrap her in a green Chinese silk scarf though and I’ll get on board with all her antics.   

Speaking of antics, that wacky Kristina/Alexis has been looking like…dare I say, a Cassadine?  The blue velvet (bluer than velvet was the night) wedding ensemble took my breath away. The hair, the necklace, the scarf and that dress were all just beautiful on our favorite lawyer.  Oh wait; Ric’s a lawyer too, right?  Make Alexis our favorite crazy lawyer.  The little personality problem she’s been having has done wonders for her wardrobe.  Perhaps she could work out a barter program with Cameron and start advising him on his clothing choices as he works to integrate her personalities.  Cameron reminds me of a philosophy professor that I had in college – I’m not sure if it’s the voice that resonates his disbelief (you say you are late because there were no parking spaces? / you say that you do not remember buying wind chimes and killing a man named Alcazar?) or the LL Bean oxford shirts and corduroy blazers, but they both could have used a little lightening up.  Actually, Cameron’s wardrobe works for his character, but he needs to stop wearing colored t-shirts under said LL Bean oxford shirts.  Major Fashion Police pet peeve.   

And on the other side of town, the Cellar opened for business.  Carly sported a cute little update on the flapper look, with her leather pants and feathery brown camisole.  The ponytail was very cute – Carly definitely takes the award for most improved character wardrobe of the year but they still need to figure out what to do with her hair.  Cutting it would be a good start because as it gets longer, it appears thinner and more flyaway and I think she can afford a stylist who isn’t afraid to tell her that’s not good.  One who keeps up with her roots would also be a smart addition to the Corinthos family payroll.  Anyway, Carly has been dressing beautifully and though I missed a lot of potential commentary, her fur trimmed coat and the black pantsuit with red satin blouse and red purse that she wore to Jason & Brenda’s trial really stand out.  Lots of red for Carly works for me.   

And then there is Courtney, who just can’t figure out if she’s the kind of girl who wears gray sweater dresses and pearls to support her illicit lover in court or negligees to work at her sister-in-law’s club.  Did anyone else choke on his or her coke when she walked in to the Cellar wearing that lack of a dress?  I thought Jason and Sonny could have proven who had more Courtney love right then and there; by racing to throw their jackets over her scantily clad little self.  And good gracious alive, she’s back to wearing red lipstick.  When I think about this character and the apparent crisis the writers have as they try to figure out exactly who the hell she is and what the hell she is doing in Port Charles, the wardrobe inconsistencies probably make sense.  Courtney has gone from hard-edged teen that married and loved AJ (lots of jeans and tight t-shirts, red lipstick) to stripper (lots of yellow lace (?), lighter lipstick) to Jason’s brainless mob moll girlfriend (gray sweater dress, pearls) and now a woman scorned (lingerie and red lipstick).  I don’t think I can take another personality split though so if I see any more silk or lace on Courtney, I’m calling Dr. Cameron so he can start following her around the docks and chastising her along the lines of “Daisy, come out and tell me about your brother…” 

I’ll hold my commentary on Summer, Faith, Felicia and all the boys for now, except to say that Faith is too much and all the black leather is just perfect and Felicia looks suspiciously younger than she did a few months ago.  Alright – just one comment about one of the boys…you know I can’t resist Ric.  Nothing pleases me much more than seeing him in one of those well cut suits (there was an episode a couple of weeks ago when he referred to the “cut of my suit” twice in conversation with Carly…be still my heart) but seeing him in a tuxedo shirt, open at the collar just about did me in. Ah well, the column is getting long and I’m sure you’re ready for a drink by now…I am.



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