I am feeling more than a little cheated right now.  Don’t get me wrong – Skye made a lovely bride.  She looked great.  The dress was elegant and still enchanting.  Her hair looked good – sleek, neither overdone or underdone, as is often the soap bridal tradition. She finally received a proper engagement ring and won’t feel like she has to buy an entire wardrobe that will suitably match that monstrous necklace.  

I’m just irritated that her wedded bliss was overshadowed by the presence of her husband’s ex.  The cast of characters prowling around the church amused me, but I’m upset that the wedding was as much about murder as it was about love.  I’m perturbed with her dad (who was the ONLY link she had in Port Charles not too very long ago) for not being there to give her away.  I’m mad that her brother, who did give her away, couldn’t bother to stay for the reception.  I’m curious as to why she had to endure Sonny and Carly’s weird tradition of her guy picking out her gown (not to mention his arranging for a makeup artist whose ability with eye shadow compared to my 3 year old’s ability to color inside the lines) AND I’M FURIOUS that General Hospital refuses to cough up a wedding that’s really worth a darn!  How many more of these less than dreamy fiascos must we witness?  I want planning and anticipation.  I want real love with neither spouse-to-be dreaming of some other bedfellow.  I want the bride to show up, the groom to show up, parents to show up, and everyone to keep their basic sanity in tact until the vows are said to completion.  I want flowers, bridesmaids and a flower girl, a best man’s toast, a reception, a honeymoon and a month or so of afterglow.  This is the stuff my soapy dreams are made of (yeah, that and Steve Burton sans t-shirt).  I remember when a little bit of happiness lasted for more than a minute.   When action and adventure combined with love to make good stories and every relationship wasn’t tinged with deceit, uncertainty or betrayal from the very start (alright, maybe they were, but they still used to put on a decent wedding day!).  Why, oh why has romance died in Port Charles?   

Sorry to stray so far from hair, clothes and makeup but I think that I was really set off by Jax picking out Skye’s dress, even if it was gorgeous.  The most important outfit of my life is not a decision I could relinquish the right to make.  The rant compounded from that point ;) and I couldn’t stop myself. 

Moving on, but not too far, I’m trying to say one nice thing about Felicia and it’s that I’m glad that she is not putting on bad accents or calling herself (or Roy, God forbid) by a cutesy alias.  I also really liked that brown, velvet-collared coat that she had on when she came to Skye and Jax’s wedding and annoyed the hell out of me.  There, I have said two nice things about Felicia and I challenge anyone to come up with another.  Please share if you can.. 

Sonny looked good for a dead guy.  Scrap that – I might start ranting again if I think about Sonny’s faux funeral.  Carly has been dressing really weird again lately.  I think they have been shopping at “Leather in Unexpected Places” because every dress she wears seems to bear that trait.  Then she shows up at the mob meeting in a very vinyl trenchcoat.  Strange.. 

It was nice of Jason to have Brenda’s escape outfit cleaned.  I’m also guessing that he picked out the little velour sweatsuit she wore while it was at the cleaner’s.  I don’t imagine any of the other mob employees can really handle anything for Brenda – she’s definitely a project custom-made for Jason.  To heck with the bidness – Carly has that covered with her Louisville Slugger.  Keep Jason on Brenda and he too must eventually be overcome with uncontrollable and inevitable Brendalust and perhaps tear his shirt off.  Out of Jax’s lakehouse and back to Jason’s safehouse you go Miss Barrett!  We have a mission for you… 

Gia wore the ugliest outfit I have seen in ages last week in Kelly’s.  Very low suede pants with a wide belt and a dark blue denim shirt that had large, wing-like sleeves.   I’ve said it before, but whenever I watch Port Charles, I can’t help but notice how well the young people are dressed.  Alison had such a cute crocheted sweater on when Rafe was dying in her arms.  Poor Gia looked like a Halloween costume called “Seventies Bat Wing Denim Groovy Gal”.  

The jury is still out on Alexis’ maternity wear.  The black gown she wore to the wedding was fine but they slid in another oversized button-down blouse when she was stressing over the amniocentesis.  

All the fellas have been fairly unremarkable.  Except for that delicious Coleman (yeah, I’m totally on the Coleman love wagon suddenly) who just knocked me out with the 70’s style brown leather jacket and softer hair when he was defending fair Daisy’s honor as AJ stood by.  I bet he wears some manly smelling cologne like Old Spice and oh, wouldn’t you love to sniff that OldSpiceleathershampoo spot right under his ear?  I know it’s not just me… 

Signing off for now – don’t forget your chant for Brenda to get Jason’s shirt off and e-mail me if you have a minute!

 

   

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