Sept 7, 2004

What started as such a promising diversion from SonnyTV turned into the next worse thing.  The murder mystery week was all camped up to be spooky and dark, complete with Ouija (oh yeah, "Channeling", heh) board.  My husband was even half interested.  Eh, it quickly moved on to being nothing more than EmilyTV and we both lost interest pretty quickly.  Hubby's newfound David Lynch addiction won out over Lila's unoccupied wheelchair.  And how tacky was that, anyway?  If you're looking for creepy factor, just watch "Fire Walk With Me", the cinematic prequel to the Twin Peaks television series.  Yikes! 

I walked away from "Murder Mystery Intent on Stealing NBC Viewership" week feeling like GH had really become a bit of a bad joke.  Coggie suggested it first, and darn if it didn't feel like an intentional gaffe - making us yearn for the drama of Fab Four Penthouse days gone by.  The awkwardness of first love (Dillon and Georgie), already tainted by the ridiculous erectile dysfunction story, and oh, don't mention the Astrid story...just completely stomped to death by the characterization of Georgie as a shrew.  Nothing more than a spoiled little shrew, who while sporting breasts bigger than Sage's head, managed to be jealous and spiteful enough to lock the poor, parentless kid up in a dark freezer.  Has she checked her bra size lately?  Does she really have anything to worry about in the "Can Capture Teenage Heart" department?  And then everyone just pouring out their understanding as she beat herself up over her misdeeds.  A future Emily in the making, that Georgie.  Just wait until she's the ripe ol' age of 22, and we can watch her moan and groan through some sex scenes.   

Poor Trent must have died from the horror of it all, garden scratcher notwithstanding. 

Where the hell is Maxie to lend some acting ability to the female side of the teen element? 

So much talk about Natalia Livingston (Emily) making comments that suggest she can barely contain herself during love scenes with screen partner, Tyler Christopher (Nikolas).  Not to say I can't understand her predicament, but TPTB seem to have taken their understanding too far - considering all the loving (and I do love the SoapZone term...rutting) that these two do.  They go at it in every other scene!  Hey, I guess if she can't be convincing in any other arena... 

Best part of the murder crapfest was seeing Tracey, Allan and Monica.  Oh, and Felicia and Mac.  How interesting would it have been if these players had enjoyed any kind of story at all over the last year or so?  Heather's Lila impression and Big Alice's broom weilding also scored points for this cynical viewer. 

No surprise that Catherine Wadkins (Mary) was sacrificed at the altar of Nikolas and Emily's luuuurv.  Far be it for me to suggest that a sensical, soapy story would have been hatched if Nikolas wouldn't have been able to dismiss his feelings for the deceptive but simplistic and kindhearted Mary, learning to appreciate the pleasures of pot roast and flannel shirts.  That's what used to happen, back when the soaps told stories and not demographic appeals for next week's ratings.   

I had to laugh out loud at that weird sequinned sweater that Courtney was wearing when she decided to flee to Sonny's island.  At first I thought she had something shiny mistakenly appearing on her shoulder.  But then I realized that her back was covered with a sequin design of some sort.  Suffice it to say, she looked better in her green bikini top and matching skirt once they got there.  At least I had a glimmer of soapy satisfaction when Jax appeared as the captain of the flight, unwilling to let her skitter away from the remaining days of the much heralded bet.  Much like Jason, Courtney is more appealing with a perceived adversary as a love interest.  Funny that the romances that I find most compelling right now involve both halves of the Journey supercoupling...however far removed they are from each other. 

Sonny and Carly having something to do, other than each other.   What a concept.  Makes me wonder why Carly didn't find her father years ago.  Makes me also wonder if the whole situation isn't important enough for her to do her hair and stop it with the oh so 7th grade ponytail.   

I don't have much more to say this week so I'm going to end the column with the top ten reasons why I'm still watching GH... 

10 - Lesli Kay can take Lois slightly over the top.  I'm still interested in the Brooke/Lois dynamic and would love to see it juxtaposed with the Felicia/Maxie/Georgie thang.  Not that the writers would ever be so interested in something as totally placid as a mother/teen daughter relationship. 

9 - Scott Clifton as Dillon is a goldmine.  Shall I throw my friend Tracey in to that?  Mother/Son dynamics are nearly as interesting as mother/daughter.  And there's even Ned, as the brother to Dillon/father to Brooke.  Stories abound.  I wanna see 'em play out!!! 

8 - Luke and Skye are bound to return within the month! 

7 - Corbin Bernsen is planning to roast Sonny on a spit!   

6 - Ric and Alexis married?  Maddied?  YES!  MADDIED!!!  And baby makes three -- Lord, let them film them at home sometimes. 

5 - Faith and Justus are just as sexy as all hell.  M'fundo Morrison and Cynthia Preston are engaging and entirely sexy actors.   

4 - Alcazar is pissed and reportedly plotting to have comfort sex with Lois.  Hey!  That means Ted King, doing the moaning/groaning thing.   

3 - Sam is telling Sonny that there's no way he can be a real "father" to her baby.  She considers Jason to be the one who will wake up beside her to tend to little Lila Corinthos (?). 

2.  I mentioned Luke and Skye coming back, right? 

1. And the number one reason that I continue watching GH...I'm convinced that TPTB are totally hoodwinking us in regards to Emily Quartermaine.  One day, they're going to reveal her as the treacherous, using bitch that we all realize she is.  They are.  If there is a shred of integrity left in the process of daytime storytelling, they will.  I'm convinced.  I know it.  It's true.   

Until next time....I hope you're doing fashionably well!  I love to get your e-mails - have a great week. 



Dayna's Archives

Aug 21, 2004 Ten Reasons Why Mar 12, 2004
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