For the week ending May 2, 2001

Can May get here ANY faster?  I know TPTB thought last week was explosive and riveting but I thought it focused too much on the decision between Lucky and Jason and, in case I haven’t mentioned it, I care not, and the other focus was Vicki and Cruz, uh, I mean Melissa and Roy, both of whom are less interesting to me than the druggie in withdrawals. Sooooooo, with very little to inspire me I once again present, in no particular order . . . . 

MISCELLANEOUS THOUGHTS AND SHALLOW OBSERVATIONS 

Most common phrase heard last week:  reeeeeerr!  There was an overabundance of catty remarks and I don’t mean just from the chicks.  Most interesting was the words between Carly, Liz, Jason and Lucky in the park.  I kept waiting on them to break out in a brawl worthy of the WWF.  Borgboy versus Schmucky and of course, the GLOW women would have to go at it via Lizgloss versus Snarly.  I wouldn’t necessarily care who won but I sure would love seeing them all just beat the stuffing out of each other. 

I think they should have interspliced the scenes of Real Roy getting shot 20 years ago as if we were watching the scene through Bobbie’s eyes seeing both at the same time and in slow motion…that would have made for compelling tv.  I guess if you have to get shot the E.R. is the place to do it. 

Lucky carries thumbtacks in his pocket?  Remind me never to borrow his jacket. 

Stefan - -get a haircut and lay off of the mousse.  I love Laura’s new haircut. Ron Hale’s hair has suddenly turned from the attractive silver to the grandfatherly white.  I like it but caught me off guard since we haven’t seen Mike in forever. 

Where is Ned?   The gatekeeper in MyNed would never let anybody or anything keep him away from the hospital.  The only conclusion I can come to is that nobody informed him of his grandfather’s “attack”. 

Everybody working at the hospital was dressed like they actually work in a hospital.  Gotta love those scrubs! 

PICTURE OF THE WEEK {new feature}: This is also my favorite scene of the week.  I normally don’t like the fluffy Wednesday stuff we have to sit through but Laura hustling Scotty at pool, among other things, provided a much-needed lift to a very dark week.  Go Laura!  Never mind the eight ball in the back pocket, I’ll take a Scotty on the green felt, please! 

LINE OF THE WEEK:  Ok so, it’s actually a portion of the conversation:

Luke:  “Good girl! We Spencers are territorial, sometimes lethally so.”

Bobbie: “ Well, I draw the line at bumping her off, although the thought has occurred to me”

Luke:  “Well, you resisted as long as possible but if you feel it really needs to be done, come to me.  I work cheap.”

Go Bobbie!  She’s got Melissa’s number and true to form, Bobbie isn’t going to let Roy go without a fight, maybe even a dirty fight!  This angelic persona that Melissa is presenting to the world is just rubbing me the wrong way.  It’s so obvious that the viewer is being manipulated to believe that Melissa is the wronged sweet person and Bobbie is just a rabid viper-bitch.  Newsflash – I’m not biting!  Make Melissa a psycho stalker or get rid of her.  I’ve got all the sweetness and light characters I can handle right now. 

Wherefore art thou limp green thing?  What happened to our show mascot?  Mike brings in the traditional brown paper sack indicating groceries but there is no non-descript limp green thing hanging from the top? 

Aside from all of the out-of-character yelling and unnecessary name calling among the Cassasibs and Nik, Prince Nikolas was sitting on the edge of Alexis’ couch and putting his nasty boots on the other couch.  That is unacceptable behavior in my house, let alone the behavior that should be exhibited by a Prince.  You may be able to renounce the title but the not the upbringing.  Act like you’ve got some home trainin’! 

I don’t think that’s the kind of candle Sonny wanted to blow out on his birthday cake! 

Was it necessary to beat me over the head with the gift?  Does no one check these things delivered to Sonny’s penthouse? 

So Borgboy is about to disappear but we’re already set up with our new superhero: Mullet Man. 

There are an infinite number of people Helena could be keeping in her K-Mart Blue Light Special basement since apparently the cemetery in Port Charles resembles Stephen King’s Pet Semetary whereby everybody and their brother; sister and ex-spouse eventually turn up alive.  The “dead” giveaway is always the numerous mentions of the formerly dead so I’m waiting on the references to begin. 

Does anybody really believe that Heather Locklear colors her hair with Preference by L’Oreal?   

Over all the show rates about a C-.  I’m still enjoying myself somewhat but am anxiously anticipating May (and June!!).   Bring on SWEEPS!