For the week ending March 9, 2001:
Actually, I thought last
week was an improvement, in that, we got to see a little of every story as if
the entire show didn’t revolve around Sonny and Carly!
To that I must throw in a “Bravo”!
I temper that statement by saying that I watched these shows between 2:15
and 4:45 a.m. on Monday morning. It’s
very likely that delirium had set in and anything would have been amusing.
and I mean the kidnapping of not by Zander for a change was comical at best.
He is about as smart as a sack of wet mice.
Port Charles’ other criminals lack the cunning and indifference to the
law to be believable criminals. I’m
at a loss to explain why Sorrel’s men didn’t just cap him in the alley if
they were so sure nobody was watching. Then,
I didn’t understand why they took him to the warehouse (leaving plenty of time
for SuperJason to save him) for a brief explanation of why he was about to die.
Then again, as he tried to escape and used the crowbar as a weapon when
the “bad guy” had a gun, why didn’t they just cap him right that time?
This scene made no sense especially given the fact that someone at GH has
seen the Godfather movies based on Alexis’ comment to Sonny at the launch
party: “Who do I look like Luca Brasi!”.
Therefore, I suggest using some of the mob techniques employed in said
movies to make PC’s mob look like actual mob. Too bad Jason didn’t kick his
ass too. Sonny then should have
kicked his ass. I cannot BEEELLEEEVE
he got his little girlfriend to go to the big bad mobsters for him and then SHE
had the NERVE to involve his pseudo Mommy!
I still fail to see the value this character is adding to the show.
THE LAUNCH PARTY
provided some amusement despite its lack of spectacular moments.
I was just as surprised as Carly that Hannah and AJ came to the party but
I have to agree with Laura when she told Carly, “I gave you the guest list, if
you didn’t read it that isn’t my fault.”
Alexis playing press patrol bodyguard and fretting over Ned’s presence
annoyed me beyond comment, but I did love how she kept raising her rates
throughout the evening the longer she had to be there!
The barbs traded between Ned and AJ were redundant but biting and I do so
love for the two of them to be at the other’s throat. While
Ned is still understandably hurt and lashing out I must issue a smackdown for
his treatment of Alexis at the party. If,
in fact, the relationship is done, over finito, then he doesn’t get to have an
opinion on who she spends her time with or where she spends it.
The parting shot about flagging down a semi was cutting but not
undeserved. Mac and Laura being
trapped on the roof together just reinforced my conclusion that those two should
not be paired for anything other than commiserating the death of their
marriages. A romance between those
two would be like watching paint dry.
I couldn’t help but love (and reminisce) watching Scotty be jealous!
I’m tired of AJ and Carly fighting.
She won so it’s time to let it go!
I loved that everyone had Carly’s number from the beginning but Gia’s
participation in the locking of the roof door will have to come out and I
can’t wait! The ensuing showdown
between Laura and Carly, and also between Scotty and Sonny, left a lot to be
desired. Another byproduct of this
lame story is that it’s making both women look petty and silly.
I had a hard time
choosing my favorite scene of the week because there was massive improvement on
the family intra-action front. The
in-depth discussion between Alan and Edward about their children impressed me.
I need more of this. For the
first time in ages I felt a connection to the characters.
Both performances were moving and a great big kudos to both performers.
I also enjoyed the discussion between Monica and Alan about Emily and how
they’ve screwed up their children. I loved the interaction between Jason and
Emily and followed by the interaction between AJ and Emily.
The one thing both brothers have in common is a love for their little
sister and it’s high time somebody played on that!
Then, we move on to the
Cassadines. Helena visited Nikolas
again to remind him of his place in the world and her role in his life.
More interesting than that was her visit to the bastard child, Alexis,
and a return to the threatening Helena. She
had become somewhat cartoonish of late spending most of her time plotting with
Andreas, like Boris and Natasha.
SCENE OF THE WEEK ended
up being something that I’ve been waiting on for a long time.
Scotty kissing Laura! I can
add nothing but applause! It’s
about time we started stepping up this romance!
Zander to the “bad
guys”: “Sonny rules . . .!”
Yeah, Zander he rules so well that he got himself and you shot in front of the
PCPD, got his warehouse and nearly himself blown to smithereens immediately
following having to send Jason to Puerto Rico to handle his business there.
Yeah. He rules alright.
So, Zander, it’s ok if
Jason kills them for you but you don’t have the nuts to do it yourself huh,
I’m going to break
from my No Chloe is a good Chloe stance for this one comment.
She made MyNed smile on Friday and smile A LOT!
It’s been far too long since I last saw those dimples out in such full
force and I was floored! Now about
that marriage proposal, calm down Ned, let’s not get crazy!
I realize they have some chemistry but that does not matter to me because
they are cousins that are close enough to be traced!
I still wake up in a sweat having nightmares of watching them make-out on
the couch at the gatehouse for Edward’s amusement.
Lucky scores one point
for rudeness to Zander: “Yet another great thing you’ve done for Emily.”
I don’t get why Carly
loves Sonny. First with the
whore/slut/tramp talk now he treats her like a bad little girl for locking Laura
on the roof when as the head gangster he’s done much worse to his rivals!
I’m beginning to wonder why she puts up with him instead of vice versa.
Scene-stealer of the
week: Elton! “Spritz, Spritz!”
I recant my former distaste for this character.
He is SO much fun!
Just a hint for Marcus
and Flo - Herbal Tea “to go”
means that you take your tea and LEAVE!
The montage sucked.
Mac and Alexis.
First of all: Ewwww, don’t even try that PTB!
If Mac worried about quitting during a case, he’d never be able to
leave. She’ll be able to win a few more cases?
Hello! Exactly how many has she LOST?
I keep seeing her kick YOUR kiester all over the courtroom.
I loved him calling her on the Ned thing!
Flea’s intention to
start of the detective agency is the worst idea since the rebirth of Deception.
GO BOBBIE! Way to protect
big brother and Mac from the infestation!
If it was so cold on the
roof of the office building, how come I couldn’t see their breath?
Does Scotty have any
clients other than Laura?
Granted I care nothing
for the boy bands anyway, but if I never hear that N’Sync song again it will
be too soon!
Jason = CLAYMATION, please I beg of you CLAYMATION
on the Spencsadine War!!
Once again I’m captivated by the capacity of my
computer to do new cool stuff so I was busy last week playing rather than being
a good little columnist and watching GH, so I’m going to keep this short
again. Plus, watching the show
seemed to be the cure for my insomnia and I put off polishing up this commentary
in order to clean the bathroom. That’s
bad, but if it gets to the point that I’d rather dust (by far the most hideous
task ever invented) first then we’ll have a major problem.
I love Luke’s one-liners but Fluke still sucks.
I wish Hells would find them and just kill Flea now.
I’m curious about this bed in Helena’s room too.
I have a big ol’ queen size sleigh bed (which rules!) but it only sits
about five inches off of the floor and that is definitely not enough room for a
full grown man to crawl under. I’m
baffled by how both Luke and Flea could both shimmy underneath and still no
appendages were sticking out to be noticed by Helena or Andreas.
I’m also curious as to how every transient in Port Charles can wander
onto this yacht without any problem. All
in one night Stefan, Flea and Luke came on board and straight into the
spider’s lair without one security person noticing.
L&L fan in me got a little jolt when Helena mentioned Laura’s name and
Luke got a look on his face like he might have to hurt Hells just for having the
audacity to speak the name. The
smallest things can set me off.
And other small things that set me off.
I know Sonny’s and Carly’s wedding was supposed to be some big pay
off for the fans but I found it completely lame.
For the first time since this entire renewing the vows subject came up I
was glad, nay ecstatic, that it was S&C and not one of my couples because I
was bored. I saw more love between the three couples on the ortho-tricycline
commercial. Carly wasn’t the only one who fell asleep on the wedding
night. When they were on the beach,
I thought they were interesting at first. I’ve
said before that as long as Carly is quiet I can tolerate her.
The writers lost me again as a former S&B Fan I don’t appreciate
the tarnishing of that relationship in order to build up S&C.
He certainly does not love Carly more (or at all, whatever you’re
feelings might be on the subject) just differently.
I am so back in Laura’s corner. Carly to Laura: “I’ll shut this company down before I let Elizabeth Webber be the new face of Deception.” NOW who is being unreasonable?
Laura to Carly: “GROW UP” Carly! All Laura needed to do was throw in a snap and a little neck
action. I was rolling already that
would have sent me into convulsions! The
gloves are OFF. Carly may be
devious and manipulative but so is Laura and Laura can still outdo her because
Laura is a strategist. She didn’t
spend the last twenty years hanging with Luke and Stefan without learning a
thing or two. Carly on the other
hand has proven time and time again that she doesn’t think past the here and
SCENE OF THE WEEK…Elton and Laura:
“bitch.” I laughed and
laughed and laughed over that one. Elton
has finally won me over. I love
him. First, telling Alexis off
(because she needed it even though it wasn’t his place) and now calling Carly
a bitch. Yep, he’s on Tracey’s
good list now. BTW, I’m lovin’
Laura’s scarf in that scene.
Moving right along to more of PC’s
cerebrally-challenged. Lucky to
Liz: “We’re going.
I mean it we’re leaving right now.”
Uh. I know he didn’t! I hate to admit it but Jason is being the voice
of reason. No matter how much in
love two people are, no one person can be the other person’s entire world.
Life doesn’t work like that. Humans
are social beings and we need numerous influences (cyber buds or virtual). Liz and Jason can’t be friends, but Lucky immediately runs
to Emily. What’s good for the
LINE OF THE WEEK:
“My days as public servant have just ended!!!!”
Hallelujah! Praise all the gods! Go back
to tending bar and being interesting dear Mac!
Break out the Teri Clark CD because at least she can
sing whereas Gia’s rendition of the “Poor Pitiful Me” song is just making
my palm itch and my ears bleed. Go,
stay, hang upside down naked on Nik’s front porch ---
I don’t care! Deception is
not the only modeling job in the world. Get
over yourself and get another job! Just stay away from L&B.
Memo to Nik: IT
IS NOT YOUR PLACE TO TELL SOMEBODY ELSE’S BUSINESS! He had no right to tell Gia anything about Elizabeth
especially in order to sooth Gia’s pathetic ego.
When Liz finds out I hope she rips him a new one.
Get me some of whatever Gia’s smokin’ because that little fantasy was
hilarious! Admittedly it was stupid and way over the top but a good chuckle
nonetheless. I was immediately
thrown back into questioning her continued presence in PC when Gia used the
information Nik erroneously gave her against Elizabeth.
She could limbo right under a snake without bending at this point.
My hatred for Gia surpassed my contempt for Carly this week.
I really enjoyed the picnic Roy set up for Bobbie in the
gazebo. I know I’m the lone voice
in this but I like them. I even
like them as a couple. Plus, as a
bonus: Eagles…HELL YES! Anytime
is a good time for Eagles! Eagles
Rule. Just turn down the volume a
touch so I can hear the dialogue, when I want to rock out to the Eagles I’ve
got all the CDs and if that fails Napster isn’t shut down yet.
Laura has PMS….MUST
we go there?
Amy and Laura gossiping about someone else
eavesdropping. Irony. Yeah, ok, I
got it the first time.
Was it just me or did everybody notice the gray around
Sonny’s temples during the ceremony?
Using an Elvis tune by someone OTHER than Elvis…..Bad GH….very Bad!
Nik looks like a pimp in that coat.
Finally, somebody got Michael a haircut!!
So we’re making jokes about the day you broke the love of your life’s
heart? ‘Lex…darlin’ I’m not
thinking that’s very funny.
I loved how the writer’s two-stepped around Maxie’s
age by not actually assigning a number!
I heard nothing of Bobbie’s chat with Flea because I
was busy trying to figure out why of all the places in the world Melissa would
show up in PC. The answer:
To cause trouble, of course. YIPPEE!
A story where none of the teens are involved.
Zander was kidnapped.
Hopefully, he will realize what exactly he did to Emily.
Hopefully, Emily will realize what her little escapades with thug boy did
to HER FAMILY and her friends. Who
knows? Maybe Zander will fall for his kidnappers now and we’ll be rid of this
insane story. Some friend Emily turned out to be anyway.
Her support of her best friend is conditional upon Zander’s presence.
No thanks. I don’t need
friends like that.
THE LAUNCH PARTY:
I loved Laura’s hair but was not crazy about the
tiara/barrette thing. The outfit
lacked pizzazz but was an improvement over the K-Mart bargain bin look she’s
been going for. The choker, however, MUST go!
Mac was sssssmokin’, but he’s being too much of a
“first date”. The fake
“harharhar” (while tossing head back) laughing too loud and bringing silly
gifts made me think that perhaps Mac did think this was a senior prom.
Clown lips! BAHAHAHAHA!
I can’t add anything to that!
Sonny, Lucky and Nik looking HOT in tuxes, but then
again it’s pretty darn hard NOT to look HOT in a tux. MyNed looked the best in his traditional black tie, though.
Gia looked spectacular!
She was BEST DRESSED of the women. That
girl is the FOD choice, even if she is a bitch.
Chloe didn’t even bother to say hey at the party to check out how one
of her designs faired on Gia?
I hated Carly’s hair and found her dress rather
boring. She should skip the shawl
thingie because Carly doesn’t do graceful and can’t pull off the ‘tude
necessary for it.
Best Dressed Male must go to Scotty!
Non-traditional. Hip. Loved
Liz’s outfit was hideous and the hair was less than
awe-inspiring despite Lucky’s constant reassurances.
Alexis was drab in fashion and in manner.
We would have ALL been happier if she’d stayed home.
I loved Chloe’s dress and coveted the fact that she
has the body to carry something like that off (although nobody will ever top my
girl V’s backless red number from the Nurses’ Ball a couple years ago!).
One complaint though: STAND UP STRAIGHT DAMNIT!
Audrey’s outfit was simple and fitting for the
Amy’s dress was typical Amy, nothing flashy or
noticeable. Thank goodness.
What was Monica thinking with the gold?
-who is pondering whether or not being a ‘net columnist makes me a “scribbler”? Would I have to change Scotty’s mind? I think I’m up to the challenge. J
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