Honey, you're either going to "get" me and know my heart and my intent or you're not going to "get" me at all.  If you don't, know your limitations and just back away from the keyboard after clicking the little "X" in the box on the upper right corner of your browser window, ne'er to return again.  May you have happiness all of your days.  If you enjoy what I do, then pull up a chaise by the pool and stay a while.  If that's the case, you're the very person I'm writing this column for anyway.  I don't write to please the masses or kiss anyone's ass.  Everything you read here will be from my heart, off my cuff and dead on honest.  If you want a good read designed to offend no one, go to ABC.com because they are great at what they do.  If you want to hear what I really think about soaps, life, etc, then WELCOME!  This is an opinion column filled with gossip and rumors and, well, my opinion.  It may not agree with yours and I'm good with that.  *Please also note that this is NOT a spoiler or "exclusive info" site...it's a GOSSIP page and what we are discussing might be a RUMOR or a SPOILER, but isn't guaranteed to be what hits the screen.  I'm NOT in the business of or interested in breaking the exclusives.*   I suggest that if you want to read on, you make peace with that as well and leave your weapons with my Marshall, Lenore, before you enter town.  You'll get them back when you leave.  Believe me, you'll need them for some sites on the net and I don't want my loveys to go unarmed into war!  Remember to click that smiley globe in the links above to help EOS!

Note:  Due to the large volume of e-mail he receives, Sage regrets that he is unable to personally answer each e-mail.  He wants you to know that he reads each and every one (some 2-3 times) and greatly appreciates your communication.  Please DO NOT ask Sage for further info on what is going to happen on the shows.  Any information he has that he can share will be put into his column or on the message board right away. 

Adoing!!

Darlings!!!  When I sent out my last set of update notices, I got back about 60 letters returned to my inbox as not deliverable.  This happened the last two times I sent out notices and I simply deleted them from the inbox, but this time, I needed to delete them from the mailing list.  The prime reason seems to be that a lot of the spam rejecting programs (most commonly, Osirusoft) is rejecting the mailing list as spam and returning them to me.  If you did NOT receive your update notices the last 2-3 times I posted, this is probably why.  We have a few people whose mailbox is full, but I did not delete them from the list just yet (we'll give them another week or so to clean out).  Before you resubscribe, PLEASE turn off your spam blasters if you want to receive Sage's notices!!  Also, be mindful that if you used your WORK e-mail to subscribe (ooooh, you sneaky little FOX!), your company may have programs in place to reject mailing list e-mails as spam.

Lovesies!!

Since the GH spoilers already came out, I don’t really have all that much to report this week. I’ll be doing an uncensored column later in the week when I choose between which of the 8 or so things I want to rant about.  Gotta pace myself, you know, Darlings. 

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For all of you who were wonderful enough to write and ask, Mom is really doing great.  The heat was getting to her for a while (we've been over 100 degrees every day and the evaporative cooler doesn't do much past that stage - our house is too big and old for central air - so I got a little window AC for her room, which helped IMMENSELY but dang!  Those things are wicked expensive!!!).  She seems to have perked up in the past week or so and it’s been nice having her able to be up and around more for the company.   We even got to go out to dinner Saturday night!  She was so glad to finally be away from the house, but was just as glad to get home again.

We both really enjoyed the soaps in the past two weeks, with the exception of the horror that was and is the Luke and Laura swan song.  We’re both grieving what could have been a marvelous send off (fabulous wedding, year long honeymoon with Lulu and Lesley), but no…instead we get Crazy Mary and Pathetic Pete.  *sigh* 

AMC has been employing some wonderfully classic soap stuff, from the dead wife reappearing at the wedding to the “Because he’s my SON!” pronouncement by Nessa.  Those are the moments I love best about soaps.  I don’t need them to be realistic.  I watch them to ESCAPE real life and the limitations of “reality.”  I want the implausible to unfold on my screen!   

I was disappointed to hear that Josh Duhamel isn’t planning to re-pen a contract with AMC when his expires this fall.  He fell from grace with me a bit during the gaggable sick Laura story, but that little dance where his feet never touched the floor when Dead Vanessa opened her eyes won my heart again.  I find his relationship with Greenlee to be a bit boring now, but I would like to see him explore his newfound brotherhood with Trey before he bails.  Wonder how we’re writing Leo off? 

Speaking of writing off, the hunk factor is lowering even more so now that it has been announced that Cameron Mathison will NOT be returning from time to time as planned.  Seems the details couldn’t be ironed out to the satisfaction of everyone concerned, so he’s gone as in *gone*.  I hope we don’t have to suffer through a death telegram for Chris.  With any luck, he’ll just stay on the move, riding to live and living to ride.  As if Aiden and Trey are going to make up for Ryan and Leo.  Pfft. 

Rumors are still hot and heavy about Anna trading a Valley for a Port and vacating to GH this winter.  As much as Finola Hughes goes on and on about loving to work with VI, I can’t see her leaving, but the buzz continues!  And what is there for her in GH?  Mac has been reduced to recurring status and almost everyone else who knew her is gone.  I suppose if they can bring a newbie on board, they can bring back a veteran cold.  If only they’d give Tristan Roger’s (Robert Scorpio) phone a little ringie dingie, things could get really interesting.  The buzz is that Anna is soon going to start a relationship that David despises.  Any chance that smidgen of comfort Jackson gave her will blossom?  Would that ever be a thorn in David’s side!  I have heard that AMC is looking for a return of Lily, so maybe Jackson could get thrust onto a front burner yet!   

Don’t look for the Santos family to gain more exposure, even with Maria back in town.  Kelly Ripa has asked to be bumped down to recurring status in order to remain with the show while she continues to co-host with Regis.  Hubby Mark is filming the new Benjamin Bratt movie in Australia, so his stand in will be doing a pop in once a week or so.  There has been some noise made about bringing back Noah and Julia.  Sydney Penny (ex-Julia) has been contacted about a return and is still making up her mind.  If we get Noah back, it won’t be in the form of Keith Hamilton Cobb, who is still happily settled in Gene Roddenberry’s “Andromedia.”   Relax.  They aren’t bringing back Rosa and from what I hear, Anita is also not looking to return anywhere soon. 

We’ve been hearing for months now that Eileen Herlie is ready to retire.  We will definitely be sorry to see her go! 

OLTL 

After weeks of draught, this show has really taken off in the past week.  GH could definitely take some lessons on how to usher out a character in style and dignity!  Personally, I didn’t think they were even going to make Ben’s exit as critical as it was, but at least they left room for him to have a hero’s return later.  There’s lots of material for Erika Slezak to work with as she deals with the grief of what Niki has done to her family and it was a genius move to have Larry suggest that Viki should go see Susanna Hannen (who is Nora’s sister) for reintegration and, we can only hope, to dig that damned secret out of Niki.  I hope they show some of Viki’s therapy because Maurene Anderman who plays Susanna is just wonderful.  I have also heard rumors of Ellen Bethea returning for a while as Rachel Gannon.  She is another character whose return visits are always too short.  If any of you newbies actually saw Dr Larry in a scene that had nothing to do with giving someone medical news, you’d be amazed.  He’s a total hottie and a wonderful actor.  Same things for Rev Andrew.  If you’d seen the scenes where he was lusting after Marty (it was a chick, don’t get riled) Seybrooke while still married to the UberHot Cassie, you’d not know it was the same guy who gets hauled out only for the occasional marriage. 

Like the one MADE IN HELL between Asa and Gretel.  That is going to be fabulous to watch and I am beyond pleased that they are giving Nigel such a prominent role in the story.  If ever a favorite butler could eclipse Reginald, it’d be Nigel.  Of course, we can see the inevitable love story between Gretel and Asa coming like a freight train, but the trip is going to be fantastic.  I’m only sorry that Renee was so devastated in the process and I felt that Gretel’s treatment of her, especially after Renee took her in when she was the town’s pariah, was unforgivable.  Give Renee a man and give him to her fast!  I’d much see Sam hook up with Renee than Blair!   

Is there anyone I can payoff to get Jen OUT of front line stories for a while?  It’s a total sin that she is on my damned screen every day while more worthy actors (do I need to bring up Larry and Andrew again?) are pushed to the side?  Who…someone tell me who…Jessica Morris went on her knees to in order to land this part AND stay in the spotlight every day since her arrival on the set?  (and I don’t think she was on her knees to beg, baby)  Now we have to endure a laborious (no pun intended) story where she tries to get Al to knock her up so she can pass the baby off as Cris’ to make him stay with her and blah, blah, blah can I PLEASE have another story or a puke pan FAST??? 

I still will not discuss the island or what a nasty little tease Tea is being. 

How in the world can we expect Lindsay to be good when doggone it!  This stuff just falls in her lap? 

Loved the scene where Judge Fitzwater turned the tables on Max.  Everything about it just vibrated with humor and excellent writing.  Now if only we can get Roxy that makeover and get Max to chase HER for a while! 

I swear to God, if I EVER were to hiss “shut…up…” to my mother after committing a felony and being called on it, I’d be eating cheeseburgers out of the other side of my head for the rest of my life.  I cannot BELIEVE how the writers are having Al speak to Gabrielle and more importantly, I can’t believe that she’s taking it!!  Bad, bad form!! 

Since most of the spoilers for GH went out on Friday, I don’t have a lot to say about the show.  After getting off to a rocky start, I thought that Genie Francis did a brilliant job of play Laura as crazier than a shithouse rat.  She had to take a day or so to find her footing in the changes in the character, but by week’s end, she was doing just a fine job.  How Scott will come back from this unredeemable point is a mystery to me, but one thing that was always sacred was his love for and protection of Laura and now that’s another GH institution that has been shot all to hell.  God knows Bobbie is never going to tolerate his railroading of Luke, so he can kiss that relationship good bye and hope to God that the crossover for Lucy is more than just a rumor or he’ll never get any in that town again.

Moment of silence:  Don Chastain, portrayer of the OH so evil Tom Baldwin, brother of Lee and husband of Audrey (after and before Steve), father of Tommy, Audrey’s son (also temporarily known as “Stevie”), died at the age of  66 of cancer recently.  He was a bad, bad man (the character), but a really good actor. 

Rumors of another pregnancy do abound and I can tell you that it’s a strong chance it’s Carly.  Since we know that the paternity of Alexis’ baby is going to remain a secret for some time, we have to assume that Carly is going to have good reason not to tell…the only thing that would keep her quiet is a baby of her own.  No way will she want to compete with Alexis’ uterus and the product thereof, so if she’s pregnant, Alexis’ secret is safe, so my vote is she is the next one to get a bun in the oven.  Since Guza HATES dealing with pregnant and baby stories, this is a real switch for him to pull two at once. 

The rumors of a fantasy love scene between Brenda and Sonny are, alas, untrue.  They will be together in a safe house, but no love scenes, real time or fantasy, have been shot or are expected. 

Don’t you worry about Skye!  Her trip off the wagon was very temporary and she and Jax will soon be reunited, at least for a while.  The wedding plans will recommence and ba-bammm…Brenda will return in the middle of the nuptials.  Although at first, Jax will affirm that his heart is with Skye, little by little, he’ll be pulled towards Brenda.  Skye will definitely come into her own in this story and find strengths she didn’t even know she had and a love she didn’t even know could exist.  The biggest problem I ever saw with Jax is that he insisted that she become a person who was different than who she really is.  With her next love, she’ll be loved because of who she is; not in spite of who she is.  They could have had a chance if VM had not joined the cast, but as soon as the ink was dry, the writing was on the wall.  (They might as well have just signed the contract on the wall!)  Sorry, my little Saxkateers.  I wish the news was better. 

AJ is another who won’t be spending much time sitting in the mud puddle and crying.  Now that he and Courtney are stronger than ever (those Jason rumors are BS), he’ll have a new lease on life.  When Edward tries to get him to turn on Ned, he refuses and ends up getting Edward out of a ton of trouble.  Watch for a stronger, more capable AJ to step up to the bat soon. 

Yep, Sonny is going to be shot and yep, he’s going to fake his death in an attempt to take out Alcazar once and for all.  Carly is in on the scheme and in fact, has a hand in cooking it up.  It will be done in classic Guza “Clink-boom” montage style.  (around Sept 16) 

One more time:  Don’t worry, my precious little Liason folks.  Chant along with Sage:  “It’s all being drawwwwwn out until November Sweeps.”  

I got nothing on Zander except that Amber Tamblyn posted on her message board that GH is going for an Emily recast.  She says she was never contacted and a source close to GH says that she was contacted and the details could not be worked out.  Regardless, it’s possible we’ll see a new Emily on screen, which will no doubt give Zander something to do.  

Nik and Gia are also a dim light on the screen for a while.  I’m hearing that she will somehow lose the Face of Deception contract (No Laura/No Deception???), but that she and Nik will be closer than ever.  A Helena return is rumored for the fall (yayy!). 

I heard that Brenda sneaks a flare gun from a medical pack and uses it to ignite the fuel tanks on the yacht, then almost gets blow to bits herself!  Someone on the set told me that all of the Alcazar stuff was ordered away, so if he’s staying in PC, it’s going to be in new digs.  

Speaking of staying, my favorite strip club owner may be down, but he ain’t out!  Blake Gibbons, who plays Coleman, is staying around a while longer.  In what capacity, I’m not sure.  Maybe he can run Kelly’s! 

That’s all for tonight!  Take care, everyone!

PS:  For those of you on my mailing list, I'm getting back about 50 e-mails whose addresses will have to be removed from the list.  They are blocking our mailing list as "spam" and rejecting the update notices.  The biggest offender is the "osirisoft" blocker.  If you do not receive an update notice, that's probably why!

WHEEE HEEEE!!  NEW GH SPOILERS!!

It’s true!!  Alcazar is fooling Brenda into thinking she has Veronica Syndrome!!! 

Error report before!!  It’s only Maxie and Georgie who are kidnapped by Alcazar to strong arm Roy into following his orders to take out Sonny.  Felicia has a deal for Alcazar:  Let my babies go and take me instead.  He agrees. 

Carly has a foretelling nightmare.  She and Sonny dream of a happy future together. 

Liz opens up to Jason and tells him she wants to be with him...when it’s right. 

Edward tells Jax that Skye was not going to follow through on her part of the contract.  Jax tells Skye she didn’t pull Edward’s plug...HE DID!!  (Edward, not Jax)   

Brenda manages to finagle a flare gun.  She almost does herself in using it to escape when she blows up the yacht!  She goes get out and gets a message to Sonny, asking him to meet her at St Timothy’s Cathedral.  He doesn’t know who he’s meeting. 

AJ comes into his own in a big way!  Look for him to act like a real man. 

Although Jax and Sonny run into one another at Brenda’s cottage on the anniversary of her death, their animosity remains intact. 

Roy works to follow through on Alcazar’s orders, but Carly shows up at the wrong moment. 

Skye’s tumble off the wagon is short lived and she determines to win back her man.  She does – at least for a while!  (You GO girl!!)  They share a close moment and make WUV. 

Column comes on Monday, Baybee!!!

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