Spoilers I use for commentary are compliments of  Soap Zone and Carol Banks Weber:

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AMC Commentary

Don't worry, babies!  Everything is going to be OK!  (K.O?)  SUPERRYAN is going to not only burst onto the scene to save his wimmins from the smoky,  burning bar, but he's also going to find out that even after he's dead, he can still get a broad knocked up (in theory). 

Don't worry, babies!  Everything is going to be OK!  I know you were all freaked out thinking that we were not going to get to see ol' Del around for much longer, but Alec "I Really, No Really Wanna Be a Back Burner Soap Star" Musser has been granted a contract extension. 

Zendall fans (Oooh!  Oooh!  Like me!) are going to get a thrill this week when Zach rushes to Kendall's hospital bed and pours out his wuv for her, but what a zinger!  Greenlee makes sure that Kendall doesn't know that Zach was holding vigil and declaring his love.

The final nail JR's coffin hits home this week when he realizes that Babe really is covering up for his own drunken mistake of running over Amanda and not actually killing her (OK, I modified that a bit).  Once he starts to have memories set in and realizes that Babe is taking the blame for something he actually did, that's all she wrote.  Da boy is hooked in.

My hatred for Julia, with her scrunched up little angry face (she gets that Chucky look going on and I get the trembles, laws yes) and her bad clothes taste and her screeching little voice, is surpassed only by my white hot hatred for Ryan, so you can imagine that the "Rulia" pairing is causing me to vomit most projectile-ishly.  Seeing her slide her sticky self up and down Zach, leaving a trail like a slug everywhere she touched, was more than I could aptly recover from in just a couple of days' time.  It made me want to put a condom on my TV and do a series of STD tests on it.

Aidan and Erin, sittin in a tree...

Re:  last week's shows.  Why does Erica still have bright red dresses in her wardrobe when she is now the live in stepmother to Lily?

Look for Sam to try and play out the "Coward of the County" story where Jonathan is concerned. 

Bitter, much?  Yeah, with AMC, I sure am.  It used to be the best and now it's limping along like a little sick puppy. 

OLTL Spoiler Commentary

• Carlo hints ominously to Cristian at the Armageddon ahead in Statesville, and promises that Cris will be helpless against the onslaught.

There has NEVER been a cooler Jiminy Cricket than Carlo Hesser.  Having him perched on Cris' ear, whispering his threats and prognostications has been a joy that I am bane to give up once Cris is out and loose in the world once again. 

• John goes to check up on Cris, but fails to see him. This time.

Even John cannot penetrate the prison "good-ol'-boy" network, it seems.

• Cris unsuccessfully shakes Hayes down for the 411 on what Carlo’s up to next. But Angus, a cell mate, is more forthcoming.

Every time a spoiler mentions "Hayes," I start thinking that Hayes Barber is in on the prison riot.  If Angus does not have an Scottish accent, I will be deeply and mortally disappointed.

• Angus forewarns Cris that come the following day, Carlo will lead a prison riot, enabling him to flee Statesville’s confines.

You gotta admit, that is one hell of a distraction.

• Cris asks Angus for a huge favor, that when he is released on parole before the scheduled prison riot, to please pass on the dire word to Bo.

I'll bet the word is "HELP!"

• John goes to a church to reflect. His dead father gives inspiration (instead of Jesus, for example), leading John back to Bo to give a full confession about Cris, who is not John, John Doe.

That dead guy is just everywhere!

• Bo reacts to John’s confession (about Cris and Carlo, too) with incredulity and more than a little irritation. Then, Bo strongly suggests John’s next visit be with Natalie, for more of the same unburdening.

What?  Bo actually makes a good call?  Hell really HAS frozen over!

• John does go to Natalie, but for a little nookie, perhaps his last.

Hmmm... Tell Natalie her husband is alive or bang her like an 8 penny nail... I think I'll bang her! 

• In the afterglow, John prepares to chat with the prison warden, on Cris’ behalf.

But not tell Natalie, I guess.

• John speaks with the prison warden, about beefing up the guard units around Cris.  While John ruminates on the merits of putting a wire on Cris, to trick Carlo into confessing all, a planned prison riot kicks off.

Those ruminations didn't get him very far.

• Carlo commands Hayes to take out John, then Cris forthwith.

He probably should have added, "And not in that order!"

• John and Cris eventually hook up, forced to fight evil together, amidst the prison riot. Or at least stave off the threat to their lives until Bo saves them.

Not exactly Batman and Robin. 

• Bo is trying, but Haskell has become a huge, annoying roadblock.

So many new names I can't even keep them straight.

• The Haskell roadblock summarily dealt with, Bo leads the command of troops in to Statesville to curtail the riot and rescue John and Cris. Before he can do any rescuing, the prison warden is felled by Hayes.

No SWAT team??

• Carlo sends a message by throwing the dead warden overboard, from a high place, watching it go tumbling down, right in front of Bo below.

Message received, I guess.

• Hayes does not walk away from the prison riot unscathed.

Did he expect to?

• Uppermost on Cris’s mind: reaching his lady fair, Natalie, by any means necessary, which means he must stay alive.

Maybe one of his priorities should be figuring out how to convince her she doesn't really hate him.

• Natalie rouses from her love-making slumber, feeling around for her man, John, but feeling nothing but cold sheets.

Evangeline is feeing the same thing, girl.  Her sheets are just a little colder than yours.

• Michael comes calling. Natalie shares her concerns about John with his younger brother.  After Roxy observes, then verbalizes how much Michael digs Natalie, in that way, ballsy Nat brings this subject up to Michael. Michael is aghast, stating that he’s only all about Marcie.

If he's not, now he'll have John AND Cris in his way!  I think Natalie's dance card is pretty full.

• The prison riot terrifies Evangeline, and Natalie. But Natalie is even more bewildered when Vangie refers to Cristian of all people in this mess.

Yeah, that probably was not very professional of Evangeline, there.

• The truth about John Doe comes crashing all around Natalie. She doesn’t know whether to be overjoyed, pissed off, scared to death, offended, or everything at once.

I'm voting "all of the above."

• As Natalie processes this revelation, she feels betrayed by Cristian and John, and everybody else who knew before her. How dare they take that choice from her?, she thinks. But she also feels love for both men, differently.

Quite the conundrum, eh girlie?

• Spencer coerces David to dump Dorian publicly at the altar, and David goes along with it, because if he doesn’t, a killing he committed in the distant past will make itself known publicly by evil big brother.

A...killing?

• David gives Dorian some BS about why he’s doing such a cruel thing to her, but she thinks he’s full of BS.

We KNOW he's fully of BS, which is why we LOVE him, but can't we just at last get this wedding on the road?

• The humiliating rejection levels Dorian, who suffers great emotional distress. The queen of comebacks forces herself to recover, long enough to get to the bottom of this.

Why?  Because she's a CRAMER WOMAN!

• Under the delusion that somehow, Viki will straighten matters, Dorian heads over there. Viki reacts to Dorian’s sob story with kindness. Well, Viki tries anyway.

Awww... that's sweet.  I think they should crawl into bed and drink more of the happy tea they had a few years back.

• Dorian mouths off to Viki yet again about her DID, and that does it, Viki drops the bomb of her daughter Jessica suffering from the same ailment now. Dorian’s jaw drops, foot stuck inside.

Eeep!  Yeah, not so good timing.

• Dorian takes her leave. Once the doors close behind her, she picks up where that emotional distress last left off.

And who can blame her?  This was a biggie!  Just as Spencer planned. 

• Spencer twists the knife in Dorian, practically bragging about the power he wields over David, he, the cause of her distress.

See?  The calling card is his downfall.  If he'd just left well enough alone, not been a routine bad guy and needed to brag, he would have been fine.  But noooo.  He has to tell Dorian he is the culprit and now the caca will slam right into the fan.  He completely does not realize who he's dealing with.

• Spencer menaces David to behave, because otherwise, David’s murder will be made public.  David’s almost to the point of not caring about saving his hide, because of what he was made to do to the woman he’s supposed to love, to Dorian. He vows to do whatever it takes to make it up to Dorian, try again.

Now THERE's a good boy!

• Roxy helps David see the light, and gives him the gonads to be a man about Dorian. David sets about righting his wrongs, stat.

This is going to be one extremely magnificent scene!

• The cops put Todd behind bars, holding in his cell, waiting arraignment. While interned there, Blair visits, demanding once and for all, the truth, not his excuses.  Todd truthfully swears by his innocence to Blair. His intent was to kill, but his deed, was something else. Blair finds him quite credible.

I haven't even heard it yet and I find him quite credible.  Otherwise, we have not story.

• Just as Todd’s about to get into details, Blair has to go.

WHAT?  Did she just remember she left her iron on or what?  GET THE STORY!

• Spencer waits in the wings, ready to pounce on Blair, with his sweet-talk and support.

And he reminds me of the snake in "The Jungle Book."  "Trussssst in meeeee.  Jusssssst in meeeee."

• Kelly gives Todd an earful of her self-righteous lectures.

*sigh*  She's just a baby thief.  I guess that boosts her up the food chain somehow.

• Even Evangeline cannot argue sufficiently for her client’s (Todd) bail, so he must continue to stew in the clink.

It's not as though she can prove he isn't a flight risk!  He might as well have been caught in a Bronco with blood on the seat, a few grand in his pocket and a bad disguise on hand.  Wait... he pretty much was.

• Jessica tells Natalie that a baby’s on the way, and were it left up to Tess, that unborn baby would’ve been excised from Jess’s womb.

I wonder if Tess can sue Jessica for slander.  That would be  a great court case.  We might really keep Evangeline busy here.  In fact, whether the lawyer worked for Jess or Tess, we could probably pull a "conflict of interest" objection.

• Natalie forbids Nash from going anywhere near Jess.

She and Antonio should start up an "Assholes Only" club.  >:<

• Embattled, Nash and Antonio take their animosity to the next, physical level, with fisticuffs.

Listen, I hope Nash wipes the floor with Antonio.  No one on Daytime TV needs an ass-beating more than Antonio.

• At first, Nash assumes Clint hates him and wants him gone, even if that means he must pony up a fee to release Nash from the police station.  On second thought, after a heart-to-heart conversation, Nash knows better.

Good to have allies!

• Clint lets Nash check up on Tess, as she slumbers.

But did they clear this with Sheriff Natalie and Warden Antonio?

• Viki insists it’s okay, she’s up for a DID sacrifice of her own. But Clint won’t have it, not at her personal, medical expense.

So we know that Clint is in love with Dallas (played by Robert S. Woods' wife, Loylita Chapel), but there has to be a Viki and Clint reconnect coming, so is Dallas going to meet an untimely demise?

• Nevertheless, Viki prepares to release naughty, wicked Niki, so that her DID-afflicted daughter Jess may be closer to freedom from Tess’s control. And so that they can all discover the source of Jess’s DID.

I think Viki just wants a good excuse to cut loose and Niki is as good an excuse as any.

• Touchy, touchy Adriana flies off the handle, leaving Duke estranged.

She's just been a little hormonal whirlwind lately, hasn't she?

• Rex reads Adriana like a Braille handbook, charging the hotheaded young woman with intentionally alienating Duke.

Already this weird dance between Rex and Adrianna is playing out too long.

• Kelly goes after Ginger, but Rex won’t allow it.

Good!

• Rex and Adriana lock lips, clearing enjoying the flesh dance.

Ah!  My previous choice of words just took on icky connotations.

• Rex charges Adriana with playing mind and sex games with him. This distresses her. She lets him have a piece of her outraged mind.

I'm thinking anger management classes.  Anyone else?

• Spencer and Ginger arrange it so that Duke steps into a situation where he’s face to body with Kelly. And Kevin is made a witness to this convenient, compromising arrangement.

Take two shot glasses if Duke pops a tent.

• Although Kevin hits it with Kelly, he cannot shake the image of his own son alone with his former wife, in the stages of undress.

That would tend to burn an image into one's mind.

• Kelly corners Spencer about the all-important surgical procedure that will enable her to miraculously be with Kevin’s child.

Sounds to me like she just WAS with Kevin's child!

• Spencer menaces Paige into following his lead, or else.

Did Paige kill someone too?

• Evangeline concocts a Nora that is not real, out of need.

You know, this girl Evangeline might not have a whole sandwich in her picnic.

• Next week:  Strange allies are made under the harshest of conditions, including John and Cristian during the prison riot, and Dorian and Asa, to thwart Spencer… The truth about Cristian sends Natalie reeling, upending everything she thought she knew about both men, but really, John… Bo attempts to work out a deal with Carlo… Viki forges ahead with Operation: Resurrect Niki for Jess.

All I can think of is MORE CARLO!  YAYYYYY!

GH Spoiler Commentary

• More of the November Sweeps train wreck, its aftermath and the heroic showcase of the NuCarly.

Katrina declared this perfectly in her new column, which is here.

• Everybody’s helping everybody else out, but several of the characters need more help than others: Alexis, Jason, Robin, Lucky, Reese. And one character will meet God before Sweeps is done.

Maurice Benard is receiving guests?

• People Alexis knows, loves dearly and/or experienced favorable interactions with will try to help when she goes into labor and that labor runs into considerable complication. Emily rummages around and acquires drugs to retard Alexis’s increasing contractions. But the drugs are not going to stop the inevitable delivery, a C-section, Emily says to a crestfallen Ric.

No way do I believe there were drugs to stop labor on that train.  Sorry.

• Dr. Robin Scorpio uses whatever available tools at hand, like a butterfly knife, to do the C-section on Alexis, pulling her and Ric’s baby girl out safely. Emily gives Ric another downer of a prognosis, in her estimation: Baby and mom may make it, but they need to be taken care of by medical professionals under proper medical conditions, stat.

Any anesthesia going on there, Robin?

• Robin scares Ric with her rough draft of a prognosis.

NO doubt!

• There’s sure to be poignant moments amongst the characters involved, Ric facing what he’s done to Alexis, facing fatherhood, possibly alone, Jax facing his impending fatherhood, if only Courtney would give a little, Robin acting as a heroine, a sure sign of more heroism to come on Jason’s behalf.

How did we get by without her?

• Just prior to the medics taking Alexis to the hospital for care, she declares to Ric: “I love you.”

and follows it with, "Even though you are a self-centered ass just like your brother."

• Then, there is the matter of Lucky and Elizabeth. They have been isolated by the train wreck, facing another avalanche. And worse, Lucky’s just been gutted, bowled over with pain. Elizabeth reverts into nurse mode. Suddenly, the ground beneath them shakes, and before they know it, they, too, are isolated from each other, by walls and walls of dirt and rubble. Others attempt to dig and dig to Lucky and Elizabeth, including Luke, Sonny, Reese, Nikolas, etc. They reach Elizabeth and start digging some more to reach Lucky, who’s on his last breath. Just as they spy Lucky, he breathes his last, heart giving out. Elizabeth does CPR on Lucky, and resuscitates him into breathing, shallow, again. Others, Luke, Nikolas, maybe Jax and Lorenzo, speed Lucky to GH. There, Lucky goes under again. Then, another avalanche, followed by a gas leak, worsening the conditions for Elizabeth.

Not exactly the honeymoon they planned.

• One of the dirt avalanches renders Reese and Sonny hindered, and then they smell the telltale signs of a gas leak. Reese acts brave, but she’s not as okay as she makes herself out to be for Sonny. Her act holds up no longer, as she goes out in a faint, in Sonny’s embrace.

Um, I think she's gonna see God.

• Sam, Robin and Jason run from the wreckage, the flames, the gas leak, the mass hysteria. Robin slips, clinging for dear life and bloodied, off the side of a cliff, warning potential rescuers away with her HIV status. Jason jumps in to rescue her, but that’s when one of his headaches set in, leaving him helpless. Now Jason’s off the cliff, going under water for a final time. Sam runs around with her SOS for him. Carly pulls Jason out of a surefire drowning death.

Jason jumps in to rescue her and misses?  Is that the idea?  "DON'T SAVE ME!  I'M HIV POSI... hey, where are you going?"

• Carly fights for her sanity, so that she may take care of those threatened by Manny. She goes about the saving by practically taking on Manny, in a gunfight, escaping with her life, derailing an explosion from a mix with diesel, parting the Red Sea for the Israelites (okay, scratch the last part).

Wouldn't it be great if it turned out this whole train wreck was a paranoid delusion of Carly's and she was still locked up in the sanitarium?

• Manny faces off with Max. Oh no, the gun goes off, Max is down. For the count?

Nah, not Max!

• Sam takes Reese and Sonny to where Jason is recovering. Jason fills them in on the Carly spotting, but they at first suspect him of losing his mind. Until they see for themselves that Carly was there, in the telltale sign of that charm bracelet.

And she looks so different!  They hardly recognized her!  *snort!*

• Lorenzo safely escorts Carly to Rose Lawn. There, he discloses his secret to her.

I'm gay!

• Lorenzo’s all-out concern, acted upon, for Carly does not escape Skye’s notice. Another man lost to his first love, she sighs.

Well girlfriend shoulda acted when she had a chance!

• Avalanches of dirt, gas leaks, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria and… enough fire power set to blow to take out the entire train wreck. But before Manny can set off his fire power, he has to sit tight while taken to GH for treatment.

You gotta hate when that happens.  Three words:  "Remote detonator fella."

• Things do go, BOOM! Watch Jason try to out-sprint a fireball like the Six Million Dollar Man. The explosive fireball catches up with Jason, though.

Maybe it will melt his brain back into shape.  Wouldn't it be great if they found Robin's all important laptop and it said under the Jason Morgan file, "First, get a fireball..."

• Tracy takes up for Luke, when Lulu fires off a few attacks mercilessly against her old man.

Give'im hell, LuLu!  Starting with punishing him for giving you a name like LuLu!

• Next week:  It occurs to Sonny that Carly feels she can’t rely on him for anything… In Carly’s mind, she and Sonny will be together… Jason must act fast, fast, faster, faster… Sam finally talks Jason into giving Robin free access into his mind, through her experimental drug therapy… Luke sinks into typical anti-hero.
   
• Last week’s spoilers had Helena catching Elizabeth’s wedding bouquet, but instead, when the October 31^st show aired, Alice caught it. What gives? Helena’s Constance Towers wanted to greet her surgeon son from the Iraq war effort instead, so a last-minute change was rewritten in.

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