Hello Darlings! 

Welcome back to another week of Sage's Spoiler Party!  It is such a pleasure to be back here with you folks to talk about our favorite soaps!  I missed a couple of episodes this week (my TV cacked out on me), but I'm trying to catch up on them now with SoapNet so I am up to speed.  I am in luvvv with SoapNet and don't know how I lived without it.  Funny how so many modern conveniences we think of as indispensable when we only go them in the past 10 years or so.  What can I say?  I'm a modern kinda guy.  I like my creature comforts and niceties more than I can express!  I hear people all the time moaning about days gone by and longing for a simpler time.  Not me, baby!!  I NEED Starbucks and computers and cell phones and hot tubs and pizza delivery and clappers and MP3 players and things like that!  Toys make Sage almost as happy as cannies do!  For now, this 21st century fella is going to escort you into the land where Soap Talks and Bullshit Walks! 

Speaking of such things, I did write an off topic column this week.  It's a new project I'm starting and really loved doing.  No haters allowed.  Here's the link.

AMC Commentary

Love is heating up!  The heat will be turned up a bit more on Kendall and Zach's slow burn and if you didn't notice last week, Babe is starting to get to JR.  Di and Tad are getting closer even after he finds out she's not really Dixie.  Krystal and Adam continue to banter and bat eyes at one another.

Ryan's focus shifts away from staying dead and more towards Jonathan's surgery.

I mentioned last week that Erica's New Beginnings show seemed to have fallen off the face of the earth, but it's coming back with a bang.  Look for special appearances by Whoopi Goldberg, Clay Aiken, Regis Philbin and a collection of New York City mayors:  Mayor Denkins, Rudolph Guiliani and Ed Koch.

Alec Musser, NuDel Henry, is under a 13 week contract for the time being.

What?  Lambchop has been axed?  In a surprise move, AMC has let go Scott Kiniworthy as Josh Madden.  His last airdate is September 15th and on September 20th, Colin Egglesfield will take on the role.

Back from maternity leave on October 5, Natalia Cigliuti (Anita) steps into Santos drama with Julia's story in high gear.  Although at this time, there is "no intention" on AMC's part to bring Noah back to life (I mean he is only soap dead, after all), with Keith Hamilton Cobb released from Y&R, I imagine it's possible we could see him yet again.

As far as my own impressions go, I am withholding judgment for the time being.  All of these stories could go from zero to "interesting" or "in the pooper" in sixty seconds.  I think the stories to keep your eye on are Kendall and Zach's tentative romance, Babe's seduction of JR (which I think might end up blindsiding her with her own feelings) and Garrett's creepy obsession with Dani. 

For the moment, nothing in particular about this show is ringing my bell, but several there are several potential good stories in the hopper here.

OLTL Spoiler Commentary! 

• Nobody knows for sure whether Todd actually breaks one of the Ten Commandments – Thou Shalt Not Kill – by ending Margaret’s life by an attempted drowning off on a deserted island… But he sure does try his darnedest.

Oh Lord.  We are back to "Somewhere in the South Pacific," also known as the longest frickin' weeks in OLTL history.  Although I am sure they are not in the South Pacific, historically, Todd, some chick and an island do not bode well for us.  Taking my mind back to that time, I find that I really do miss Roger Howarth as Todd.  It's not intended as a direct slam to Trevor St John, but sometimes you miss people who used to be in your life, even if you have new people in your life.   My bet is that Todd is NOT the one to kill Margaret and that Todd has probably already pretty well smashed the tablet containing all 10 of the remaining commandments.

• It doesn’t help that Margaret torments a child, Todd’s child Starr.

I can understand why people are disturbed by this particular story, whether Todd is actually the one who does Margaret and her baby in or not, but no one can say that this behavior is out of character for Todd as he has been written over the years.  Todd is rabidly protective of his family, especially his children, and Margaret is a clear and present threat to them.  She has made it known that she can get close to his family any time she wants and the police have shown little interest in preventing her from doing so.  When Todd hates, he hates to the bone.  Todd has no reason to trust that the police have the best interests of him or his family in mind, so it make sense he would believe he has to protect them himself, by whatever means possible.  Whether it's morally "right" or "wrong" (and definitely not whether it's legally right or wrong) would have little impact if Todd feels his family is in danger.  Margaret showed that she can kidnap, rape, maim, torture and kill without hesitation and still continue to freely roam Llanview and cozy up to Jack, Starr and Blair at will.  Right or wrong, Todd would characteristically do whatever he feels is needed to protect his family.

• Using her wits, Starr evades a worse sentence by Margaret. Barely.

My impression is that if the LPD was doing its job, Starr should not have to be defending herself against Margaret. 

• Recovering post-ER, Starr puts two and two together and arrives at Margaret also with Todd’s child. She goes directly to Todd about this.
• Todd denies paternity to Starr (liar!), then swears his child to secrecy. Todd feels he can trust his own daughter a little bit better than his own wife Blair, because Starr isn’t afflicted with a tendency to go off the bend, like Blair. Both Todd and Starr realize this state of mental affairs, too.

Again, Todd doing what he feels he must do.  Even though he feels better able to trust Starr than Blair, the fact of the matter is that there are some things that kids, even a kid as savvy as Starr, don't need to know. 

• Blair hunts down Margaret, leading her to the offices of Craze and to the dismal news that the psycho is loose.

Stay away from cars, Blair!

• Bo worries about Todd’s next, possibly illegal, immoral move against Margaret. He should be.

...doing his job and not worrying so much about moving Dr Whatshername into his house.

• Todd goes fishing for a psycho-rapist via a classified ad he publishes in “The Sun,” basically giving himself up to Margaret, if she will come to him. Margaret falls for the fake ad, and the two row, row their boat toward a nightmare that seemingly never ends.

*Sigh*  For us as well, I am sure.

• Before he goes, Todd bids a fond farewell to his family. Then, faces his Waterloo with Margaret. Water. Island. One of them swimming-impaired, both of them obsessed. Do the math.

I wonder if the island is named "Loo."

• The lake where Todd and Margaret begin their sick journey toward destiny just happens to be an on-location shoot in N.J.’s Greenwood Lake.

I think if you go to the pearly gates and tell St Peter that you died just off the coast of New Jersey, he sends you straight to hell.

• Before joining Todd at the lake’s starting point, Margaret requests that he bring Jack, too, but Todd talks her out of that.

Yeah, no kids on Killing Dates.

• Todd has a request of Margaret, both of ‘em must leave their weapons behind. Margaret refuses to honor that request, showing up with a gun.

I'm surprised he has taken Margaret for a honest woman (especially when he won't make one of her).

• Todd talks Margaret into getting rid of her gun. But then he brandishes a gun of his own.

And that she trusts him any more than he trusts her is something of a shocker as well.

• Margaret beats Todd around a little bit with a stick, then pulls out her gun again on him, ordering him to go with her to this island, where they can start their life together.

My gun is bigger than my stick is often a pretty dangerous game to play in the middle of nowhere.

• Todd and Margaret take a boat to the island. On said boat, Margaret acts like she’s the author of the children’s song, “Row, Row, Row Your Boat,” and Todd goes along with the nutty assumption. She forces Todd to perform the tune as a duet, to entertain their unborn baby.

Did she invent "post its" as well?

• In the midst of letting Kevin know she talked with Spencer about an important matter, Kelly hears an earful about Margaret and Todd.

 As usual, pretty soon everyone will know about this except Blair.

• Todd dictates total silence from Kelly and Kevin about Margaret.

He's back?

• Dorian senses a huge secret in the works amongst Todd, Kelly, Kevin and Starr. But she remains, out of the loop.

Maybe she and Blair can bond over their unloopedness.

• You’ll never guess who goes to bat for Todd in front of Dorian: Spencer. Dorian can barely believe it either.

And there's something in it for him.

• David’s nearly paternal instincts regarding Starr rises up.

I'd say this is David at his best, but David is always at his David Best.

• Kelly debates on whether to clue Blair in on the ongoing Margaret situation.

More to mull.  I hope her head doesn't catch on fire or anything.

• After a friendly little chat with Spencer, both Asa and Kevin feel unnerved.

I would like for them to feel unnerved enough to let us know what the story is really about here.

• Dorian gets her hot little hands on a file of Spencers, about Buchanan Enterprises.

Every time I hear "Buchanan Enterprises," I see in my head a little fleet of Texan Starships...

• Unfortunately, Dorian cannot break the encryption right away. She will require Adriana (and Rex) to assist, which they do eventually.

Daughters and their alternate boyfriends can definitely come in handy!

• The contents of that file leave Adriana and Dorian speechless.

I hope it leaves US speechless as well!  I'm in the mood to be impressed.

• Dorian just happens to listen in as Spencer brags about his intention to be with Blair.

Score for Dorian!

• Spencer wants Paige to be Bo’s lovey-dovey roomie.

Then by all means, we should begin basing Llanview living arangements on what Spencer wants!

• Spencer also wants to manipulate Michael for an ulterior reason.

He's just quite the little string puller for a Johnny-come-lately in town.

• Rex chats Duke up, without letting slip the part about kissing Adriana.

Which shows remarkable restraint on the part of the usually impulsive Rex.

• Layla knows about fake Cris being authentic Cris, but fails to give Antonio – who she’s bunking with – full disclosure.   Layla does help Antonio’s custody case, by masquerading as his latest live-in love. She helps win over the visiting social worker.  Antonio includes Carlotta in on the ruse he and Layla are putting over the courts. 

I don't care.  I still hate her.

• R.J. and Lindsay, however, are not won over by a longshot. They’re quite perturbed by this latest series of events prompted by Layla’s idea of help.

And RJ and Lindsay are in my club as well.

• Lindsay shows signs of obsession in declaring her attachment to Jamie.

Lindsay unstable?  Nevah.

• Cristian falters slightly in keeping up the false front for Natalie’s sake. He starts writing a love note to Natalie, but then tears it into pieces.

Yeah, that's the first sign.  Is he drawing on his prison walls yet?

• Carlo continues to needle Cristian.

And what a MARVELOUS needling he was doing!  I just love that guy.

• Evangeline lets herself go there, pondering the chances of Cristian alive, not faked, not dead.
• Evangeline seeks enlightenment from Cristian.

Does he give her pamphlets, a flower and an ochre robe?  Are they keeping him in a prison on a mountain top in Tibet?  Although Cristian was promoted as the Saint Boy of Angel's Square before, we are promised that this time, Cris is gonna have an edge to him.  I wonder if Cris will enlighten Evangeline to the truth (I LOVE not having spoilers past the current week!!  It's the perfect combination of spoiled and unspoiled!)

• John can’t help but keep an eye out on Natalie, just as he’s trying to do a stakeout.

Not a good combination!

• Natalie and Layla get on each other’s nerves.

Welcome to my club, Natalie!

• John springs a doozy on Nat. She digs it. It involves declarations of deep emotion from John.

She's one up on Evangeline then, unless those feelings of deep emotion are ABOUT Evangeline, but even then, just hearing it would be one up on Evangeline.

• Nash catches Tess in a conversation with herself about Jessica. He pursues the matter with Tess, but Tess clams up.

This guy isn't very good at putting puzzles together, is he? (Just a guess here)

• Nash thinks about pursuing the Jessica matter anyway, but gives it up.

Something shiny catch his eye?

• Nash and Bruce rendez-vous for a con-fab, of a hush-hush nature.

What?  He's still here?

• Marcie’s words on the subject of Hugh, inspires the subject to Xerox a facsimile of his own. On the QT.

I am curious about Hugh.  I like when a new character is brought on in the sidelines rather than in the glare of the spotlight and his story is unfolded a little at a time.  Some of that little coming up now would be good though... kinda dragging here.

• If confession is good for the soul, Cristian better do good by Father Gregory.

I am more worried about how much of his soul he remembers now.

• Next week: Todd plots Margaret Peg’s premature demise… David deals dirty, at Dorian’s expense, but the man is after something else… Evangeline shakes Cristian’s tree, hoping for the real deal about his identity… Bingo! Evangeline’s first thought is to take this shocking info to Natalie…
• Ellen Bethea reprises the role of Nora’s grown daughter Rachel next month, in order to tend to a scripted medical emergency.

Always great to see Rachel and I am also grateful that they are finally going to let us know what's up with Nora. 

GH Spoiler Commentary 

• Lucky talks some smack about Courtney, to Courtney's and Nikolas’ faces.

You know, regardless of how it plays out, when you cheat, there's going to have to be some piper paying.  Nik and Courtney need to get a little more into the idea that they are going to take on some crap for this one.

• Nikolas reacts like a smitten, smoldering Neanderthal to Lucky’s insulting his (new) woman.
• Nikolas and Lucky engage in testosterone-laden fisticuffs over Courtney.
• Courtney stops the brothers from killing each other.

Super Courtney (MetroCourt?) to the rescue!  I hope Lucky gets in a good punch for the ol' Sageman.

• The unpleasant altercation causes Nikolas to realize that his feelings for Courtney run deeper than sexual attraction.

That was fast.

• Yet Courtney probes Nikolas as to whether he’s ready to possibly give up everything, including his ties to Lucky, for her. He swears his loving devotion.

Interesting that she's probing him for a change. 

• Courtney and Nikolas do what comes naturally, they shack up as lovers.

I hope she's into mausoleums.

• Lucky beefs up for the custody suit of a lifetime against Jax, and pumps Elizabeth up too.

He should definitely be beefing and pumping up if he's going to go another round with Nikolas.

• Emily coaxes Jax to loosen his ironclad grip on the unborn baby, to perhaps work out a mutually satisfying arrangement with Elizabeth, instead of going to court.

Ah yes, Port Charles' own little Gandhi woman, baking little peace biscuits everywhere she goes.

• Jax offers Elizabeth a chance to share custody of their baby. Lucky, though, ain’t havin’ any of that.

And it is, after all, his uterus that is involved in this (his proxy uterus, anyway).

• If Lucky’s right, that still leaves Elizabeth in a quandary. She worries that their middle-class roots are no match for Jax’s upper-class moneybags.

You know, I never thought of the Hardys or the Webbers as middle class.  I must be lower class than I thought!

• Lucky’s brother Nikolas forks over the financial backing so that Lucky and Liz have a fair fight against Jax’s millions.

Oooh!  Guilt money is still money! Take it, Lucky!

• Jax promises Elizabeth that by hook or by crook, he plans to take their unborn baby once it’s born and be the only living parent.

Can we change his name from Jax to Dix?

• Lucky thinks Jax is a meanie for menacing Elizabeth with his dire promises, ramping up plans of his own, with Liz, to keep Jax from messing with them.

Lucky the InstaCop takes on a veteran corporate raider whose whole adult life is about taking everything away from disadvantaged entities?  Good "luck" there, bud.

• Jax goes along like it’s smooth sailing for he and Elizabeth regarding the surrogacy. Little does he know, Elizabeth and Lucky have plotted to take over parental duties of Jax’s and Liz’s little one.

Volly into Elizabeth and Lucky's side of the court...

• Carly’s mental case degenerates into a thing of attempted murder, Emily’s.

Which any rational person calls "justifiable homicide," regardless of the circumstances.

• Just when Sonny can’t possibly be more taken aback by Carly’s insane acting out, she pulls this: Mistaking Emily for a Faith apparition, Carly goes in for the kill, sinking a blade deep into a real, life young woman, and not the dead Faith.

You gotta hate when that happens.  Sounds like a Crazy Mary redux.

• A terrible ordeal befalls Carly, Elizabeth and Jax.

Emily lives?

• Ric tries to step in for Jason, in his own lawyerly, fumbling way. The operative word here is, tries.

Has Ric been given the "GH Numbing" or something where a previously intelligent, sharp character is suddenly rendered into little more than an ambulatory fence post?

• Instead, Ric winds up making a mess of everything in Sonny’s mob world, including risking his own life in a shoot-out with rival mobsters.

Yep, he's been rendered to the show's version of Huckleberry Hound.  My God have mercy on Ric's soul.

• Ruiz tries to tell Sonny what to do, vis a vis Ric—who’s getting over his latest injuries—but in vain.

Ruiz?

• Ric appeals to Jason to take back the Enforcer crown before it’s too late, but Jason won’t budge.

You have to hate it when people refuse to kill for you.

• Feeling enormous loyalty toward Sonny, Ric puts Ruiz in the grave. Committing such an act of murder gives Ric pause.

I just completely do not know what to say about this. RIC now kills for Sonny?  And it "gives him pause?"  This is making me vomit in my mouth a little.

• The cops automatically look at Sonny and Jason as the culprits in Ruiz’s hit. Thanks to Ric, Sonny and Jason are let go from police custody.

Are the lines between the good guys and the bad guys getting any clearer for the viewers on this one?

• Also thanks to Ric, Ruiz has been put down. This gives Sonny pause, in a good and bad way. On the one hand, Sonny worries for the moral compass of his half-brother; on the other hand, Sonny can’t help but be moved by the sacrificial gesture.

Um... SONNY is worried about RIC's morality?  I'm truth taken aback on this one.

• Alexis blows her lid after it’s made clear to her what Ric did for Sonny.

Y'THINK???!!  Alexis has a PROBLEM with her husband becoming a KILLER for the mob?  What COULD she be thinking? It MUST be the pregnant hormones.  Silly ol' Alexis. She thought the worst thing that would happen to Ric is he'd take a bullet or 10, not take them and put them in a gun...

• Alexis acts out her fear and disappointment at Ric joining Sonny at the hip. It’s too dangerous, she believes. So she nags Ric with her theories on why he’s aligning himself with such a dangerous mobster/half-brother: ‘cause he’s smitten with Reese. And she gives Ric an ultimatum: their marriage or Sonny.

Ouch. 

• Ric argues his case to Alexis, swearing that he and Reese are just platonic.

Well, now.

• Alexis does worse. She shares her theory of why (Reese and Ric, smitten) with Sonny. This does not go over well with Ric.

OK, let me get this right.  Ric kills someone for Sonny and Alexis talks to Sonny and Ric HAS A PROBLEM?  I think Ric might not be quite as cured of the crazy as we thought he was.

• Ruiz and Tito put the fear of the rival mob into Ric, leaving more than a few bruises.

Wait a second... didn't we just kill off Ruiz?  Was he just soap dead?

• Alexis says she’s sorry to Ric and he melts. They make up for about 15 seconds, before the next blowout occurs.

She's... sorry?  Contrite?  Apologetic.  Good God, there's no hope here.

• That blowout occurs because Ric learns that Alexis shared her theory with Sonny that Ric and Reese were doing each other.

Well, were being the past tense, sounds accurate to me.

• Reese hates the idea of Ric risking his life and limb, to help Sonny out (now that Jason, the Enforcer, is nowhere to be found).

Now Reese is sad?  The angels are weeping.

• Reese tracks Ric’s next maneuver – to bring down Ruiz & Co., solo – on Sonny’s behalf.

That's quite a peace offering (and quite an unpeaceful peace offering).

• Sonny, too, stumbles upon Ric’s well-intentioned but foolhardy scheme to attack the mob rivals from Miami. But by then, Ric’s in the middle of flying bullets, one or three of them hitting his target and landing him in GH.

Again!  I hope he has good insurance.

• Aware of John Durant hot on Ric’s trail, Reese puts up a roadblock in the form of blackmail against the DA, to preserve Ric’s life.

Quick.  Please get me Mac in a hurry.  I need to see a really good guy for a change.

• Sonny cannot turn to Jason. After the first command Jason flouted, Sonny knows he is, for now, on his own.

Can he handle it without Jason's skirts to hide behind?

• Not so fast. Ric goes past of no return by committing another murder, but this one’s for Sonny.

I'm getting lost.  Are the spoilers backtracking here or is Ric killing another person this week?

• Jason balks at Sonny’s command because he cannot fathom pulling off something so heinous and wrong.

OK, I think the spoilers are doubling up, so let's go with that idea.  This is quite a combination of old Jason and new Jason and this is one story that very, very much interests me!

• Sonny encourages Sam to encourage Jason and her to bail this town until the smoke clears. Like to Sonny’s private island, for example.

One of my favorite places to be!

• Carly acts as if she and Sonny are prepared to wed—each other. IOW, she’s an apple shy or a fruit salad. Sonny cannot believe how nutty she’s become.

Nuts are good in fruit salad too!

• Jason frowns, his blue vein pulsing, because Sam kept an important medical option from him: the surgery. He lets her have it.

He lets her have the surgery?  That should be interesting!

• A memory of Sam and her stillborn baby’s birth surfaces in Jason’s damaged mind, and he finds himself closing in for a tender smooch with Sam.

Awwwwww.  Can I hear the song again too?

• It is at this point that Jason, and Sam, are aware of his slowly returning, restored mind, starting with his love for her.

Well, first things first, I guess.

• Sam, as Sonny asked, asks Jason to take her to Sonny’s private island for a little RnR, but Jason turns her down. The memories coming alive again has him wanting to stay put for more.

I look forward to seeing Steve Burton play this one out. He's been doing a great job so far!

• After Sam escorts Jason to a church, the setting of her stillborn baby’s memorial service, more memories—less loving, of guns blazing after Faith—surface.
• Remembering the guns blazing leaves Jason sick to his stomach, that he could be so villainous.

Something tells me this one is going to stick.

• Sam frets to Emily about what Jason has had to go through, and the possibility that the future won’t be so promising.

I'd say his future is looking better all the time.

• Jason prepares for his future, with Sam in mind; a monumental task.

I'd say one does not necessarily need a past to prepare for a future, as Jason has previously proven to us all.

• Both Diego and Dillon fall under police suspicion in the roofie stalker case.

What?  No Lucas?  Aren't we pulling up the usual suspects here?

• Lucky pulls out a bunch of nudies of Brook Lynn from Diego’s backpack. Suspect #1.

Yeah, that might be a little incriminating.

• Prints pulled from the nudies match that of Dillon’s. Suspect #2.

I'm getting ugly, circular images in my head over this and not liking it.

• Brook Lynn pleads Diego’s case. She then phones Justus for lawyerly help.

But he was busy trying to extricate Sonny from his latest fracas and couldn't be bothered to know anyone else is alive, I'm sure.

• Once fingerprints from the nudie pictures are pulled and Diego ruled out as a match, he is set free.
• Mac reams Dillon as Suspect #2.

Mac might be the only nice guy in the bunch, but he can never get it right.

• Jesse and Maxie put together a way to free Dillon as the wrongly accused suspect he is.

It always takes anyone but the PCPD to put the pieces together, doesn't it?

• Georgie brings everybody down with her latest.

*gasp!*  SHE's the roofie, stalker, porn photographer???  Made crazy by being forced to be a senior when everyone else is in college?  Send her to Miracle Hospital and she'll be cured in no time!

Lovin YOU!

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