Spoilers I use for commentary are compliments
of Soap Zone and Carol Banks Weber:
Hello My Darlings!
Meh, I ran out of languages to interpret into.
The weather is cooling rapidly here in good ol' Central CA, but does that
mean my interest in ABC soaps is cooling down? Not even by a long
shot! Before we begin to dive into the spoiler commentary pool, let
me get in a shameless plug and let you know that I have posted a new "Sage
Faces the Music," this one on "From a Distance," by Bette Midler.
Scurry on over
if you are interested.
While you're gone to check it out, I'm just
going to sit here and light things on fire to watch them melt. doot
de dooo. la di dah. bada babump. scoopiededoo.
bada bing bada bang. ow! OK, that melts.
OK, so last week, I said:
'What is definitely much more fun than a train
wreck is the new EOS gossip column by Karen H, the
Media Ho. I'm loving it!"
Little did I know that the words "train wreck"
were going to come back to haunt me! Here I was convinced that the
rumors I heard about everyone Sonny knows or has known or will know
managing to get on board one particular doomed train right when it's going
to slam into another doomed train (likely carrying the entire cast of
"Another World" since everyone on THAT show knows everyone on THIS show)
were someone's idea of a joke. Now, I am reading them as actual
spoilers! 'oly chit, Batman! Who knew?
That brings me on to...
I am sure our own gossip person,
The Media Ho, will be touching on this since her
contacts and sources tend to blow mine out of the water. Just like
the train wreck story, when I began hearing this one, I was pretty sure
the person was yankin my leg on it (Hey, baby, that's NOT my leg!).
I've heard from no less than FOUR different people (none of whom are
directly connected to ABC as far as I know and are just repeating what
they read or heard in other places) that Greenlee is going to die from
being run over by _______. You can fill in the blank because each
person told me a different person who was going to run over Greenlee.
I heard JR, I heard Jamie, I heard Kendall and I heard Ryan himself.
Of course, it is common knowledge that Rebecca Bachelor (since she is
marred to Bob the Bachelor, I figure that's her accurate last name) is not
renewing her contract, so we can expect Greenlee to die or relocate
sometime during November sweeps, but I am definitely (and I mentioned this
in a previous column) betting she is going to die because she would never
leave Kendall while she is pregnant with her baby. (Unless, of
course, that baby turns out to be Zach's which would mean that ol' Ryan
can't even get a good fertility referral when he's DEAD) It just
makes for better soap drama for Greenlee to get killed off, preferably
before she and Ryan completely make up so they can have a deathbed, or in
this case, a deathcurb reconciliation.
What I love most about this is that it's
perfect soap drama. Here Ryan was perfectly content to let poor
Greenlee think she'd been widowed twice before she turns 21 (or
however old she is supposed to be, she looks like a baby and I'll bet she
still gets carded when she buys booze) because of his own selfish-assed,
whiney, self-grandeurizing ideas. This way, HE gets to bury two
wives before he turns 30 (because he looks like a baby and I'm betting he
gets carded when he tries to get into fight clubs). What goes
around, comes around, Lazarus Boy!
What really makes me think that Zach did a
number on the implantation is how quickly and smoothly he came around to
supporting Kendall through her pregnancy. With resources such as he
had, I'm betting he could manage to get enough info to totally blackmail
Greg "I got no story yet" Madden into artificially inseminating Kendall
with his own little Zach swimmers rather than with any eggnog created by
Greenlee and Ryan's loner donors. Since he made a right balls up of
his fatherhood of Ethan, maybe he wanted a chance to do it right this
time. I'm betting we're going to have the obligatory miscarriage
scare and he's going to end up confessing to Kendall what he has done.
Another possibility is the very grieving Ryan and the very grieving
Kendall bonding a little too much for Zach's comfort with their little
burgeoning family and Zach whipping out a great big shabam confession to
blow apart their happy parent club. Still another possibility is
getting all the way through to the baby having only to find that when the
required "baby in danger" health tragedy occurs, adoing!, the blood
types don't match!!
Hell, I'll take any of it because it's all
good soap and it all involves Ryan getting his after blowing apart the
lives of a few people in town without even having the courtesy to sweat
(or from the looks of him at times, bathe) while he did it.
The unlikely visitor
for Cristian turns out to be his wife, Natalie. She’s there at the
prison to shame John Doe into giving up his appeal. And to see for
herself if he’s the real deal or still the fraud. She walks away not
knowing any better.
as usual, Natalie just shows up to bitch and leave. Nice, chick.
Hello again, Clint.
You sure look different. London agrees with you. NuClint (Jerry verDorn)
arrives to tend to an ailing Jessica, and soon finds there’s others
he has my welcome banner banged to a couple of trees in front of Asa's
mansion upon his arrival. I've been saying for years that Clint
needs to come back permanently and I am very, very glad he has done so.
I wouldn't mind if Cord and Tina showed up as well, just because having
Tina in the mix really does spice things up a bit. If the (lame,
very shaky) rumors that Cynthia Preston (dead Faith on GH) could show up
as Tina had any kind of credence at all, I'd be a happy camper.
Writers at GH are being very vague about the possibility of a Faith twin
coming to GH, so who knows? And who cares as long as this wonderful
actress shows up o ABC!
Viki lets Antonio, Bo
and Todd have it both barrels for keeping her clueless about Jessica’s
condition. She also orders them to lay off Nash and Tess. Because if
they don’t, she may never see Jessica’s sweet persona again.
in the back of their minds, these people all see Viki as weak and frail
and figure she can't do much to get back at them, but they are forgetting
that she just went in for a greasing, tune up, tire rotation and lube job
on that new heart, so she's ready to totally kick some ass. In fact,
I'd like Jean Randall to show up and given them one of her patented School
Marm Who Hates Kids tongue lashings! Maybe lock'em in a secret room
for a few weeks or so.
As it slowly dawns on
her that she’s dealing with Jess’s alter Tess, Tess lays into Viki for
wrongs she refuses to extrapolate on. Tess simply says that Viki should
know about those wrongs by now. (Speculation: Viki’s naughty alter, Niki,
probably took baby girl Jessica out on the town, left her at a party and
to the advances of a male pedophile.)
have totally got to be kidding me. There must be a way to come up
with something better than that.
Tess gives Viki a
laundry list of conditions. Then, takes off.
*sigh* Because that's what she does.
Viki cautions Antonio
from reacting impulsively in Jessica’s case, especially with Tess now in
Antonio ever listens to anyone.
Antonio charges out
of there to a private airport where the flighty Tess has planned to take
flight #5,442, with Nash beside her.
guess an adult woman really does not have any rights as far as Antonio is
Tess and Nash have it
out once and for all at the airport. Because she loves him, Nash gets
what he demands from Tess, but it’s not what he wants, to hear that the
woman he fell in love with is a raving lunatic with a split personality.
Yeah, that's not usually the explanation one gets.
Nash’s rejection outright. But the boy surprises her with loyalty.
his cuteness. I can't believe Jess isn't happy Tess reeled that one
in for her!
Antonio joins in the
fracas, asserting his rights to Jessica, rubbing Nash the wrong way,
pissing Tess off. The mere presence of Antonio sets off a battle between
Tess and Jessica, for control of consciousness.
has that affect on me as well.
And then, Bo enters
the scene, quickly escalating in intensity.
he could possibly be a calming influence.
Cornered, Tess acts
like she’s really Jessica, then gets her hands on a weapon, aiming it at
has THAT effect on me too.
The cops converge,
disabling Tess for attempted murder.
least they'll know where she is.
Rush to ER, news of
Jessica’s DID spreads, disabling the entire Buchanan/Lord clan.
a "hello" virus.
Clint looks to Viki
for answers as to the cause of Jessica’s DID. But Viki has none. Viki
then looks to Tess for answers, but gets nowhere with the young woman.
Guess no one has answers.
Nash must deal with
the implications of Tess’s DID alone, and the brave young man vows to do
what he can for her, against odds.
seems like he is the only one who is going about this with any degree of
Nash and Antonio
don’t like each other. That’s an understatement.
like Nash better all the time!
When Tess comes to,
and asks to see Nash, not Antonio, that sets off another undercurrent of
resentment. Antonio vows to do away with Nash if it takes him all of
blah, fricking blah. And if it costs him custody of his daughter,
too, I'm guessing.
Clint steps in, as
peacemaker, for his daughter’s sake, warning the young men to lay off,
the last thing Jessica needs is rivalry over her, so let her heal first.
think a couple of hunky guys fighting over her could be quite... healing.
Blair suspects that
it’s very likely Todd choked the life out of Margaret.
Welcome to the page we're all on, Blair.
Okay, the unborn baby
part of Margaret, that bit Blair still doesn’t know about. It doesn’t
help that Ginger practically spells it out for her. Coming from Ginger,
it means nothing to Blair but more lies.
Ginger is no Vanna White, but I can't believe Blair isn't getting this.
Starr knows she can
provide Blair with the truth about the pregnancy, but because of Todd,
she chooses not to.
She's definitely a stubborn little moo!
Either Bo and John
are playing Todd as an innocent invited to help them in this case, or
they’re pulling a Columbo, until Todd cracks. Todd’s close to cracking
Bo and John pull Todd
in for an interrogation. And Starr too. She’s as tough to crack as Todd.
well, it's genetic.
Blair knows Starr
knows more than she does, and that Starr’s stonewalling to protect Todd.
Blair doesn't stand a chance.
Todd does everything
wrong by continuing to heap lie upon lie, and it catches up with him.
The murder investigation threatens Todd and Blair, as a
don't even think they were convinced of the happily ever after bit!
Blair orders Todd,
once and for all, to be straight with her. Did he choke Margaret to
death, then dump her body in the lake? Cornered, Todd issues denials all
around surrounding Margaret’s actual demise, although he doesn’t deny
that he did at least wish for her demise. Blair falls for it.
Unless Todd really didn't do it. Remember those rumors going around
that it was actually Ginger's mother who was killed and left to float and
that Margaret is still alive (and has a baby!) somewhere? I would
NOT be surprised, especially since anyone doing a DNA test pretty well
figured it was Margaret and was just confirming suspicions. I doubt
they looked too deeply.
comatose; that condition seems less likely to change as the week
progresses, it’ll probably worsen.
what Hillary B Smith says, she's not sure the condition WILL change.
Next week: Jessica
is rescued in the nick of time by uncle Todd. Antonio’s with Jess, so
he, too, gets Todd’s save… Desperate to forget the drama at home, Blair
goes to Dorian and David’s wedding, where she will encounter more drama…
Evangeline seriously considers her other romantic options, apart from
Option, right? Just that doctor guy?
November Sweeps: The
cops take Todd in as the prime suspect in Margaret’s (and her unborn
baby’s) death at the lake… Todd swears he didn’t mean to, and Blair
believes him; does more than believe him, she supports him… Ginger
encounters a bad, bad thing herself… Todd’s gonna be feeling a world of
hurt… Spencer may be all cloak and dagger against the Buchanans, but he
did not prepare himself for a Blair to come along and take his breath
away. That interest is accidental, and real… Spencer forces David to
leave Dorian at the altar, because Spencer wants Dorian to pay for
blackmailing him… Soon, everyone will know just why David asks “How
high?” whenever Spencer barks “Jump, Davy!” This heavily involves David
and Paige, and it’s not pretty, it could even be criminal… Spencer cuts
Kelly open, on the auspices of giving her the ability to procreate…
Kevin asks Kelly to remarry him… Kelly acts on the assumption that she
is with child, but she is in for a rude awakening… John and Cristian
face a prison riot, together, against their will but still… Part of the
prison riot, is Hayes brandishing an assault rifle… John and Cris will
be together on at least one goal, the downfall of Carlo… Nobody can
continue to keep Natalie in the dark about John Doe’s real identity. She
will not be pleased at either Cris or John for their deceit… Natalie
rails at John and Cris for what they did to her. She’s very close to
dumping them both and being alone… Cristian rejoins the law-abiding
citizenry, but he will never be that same, goody-two-shoes Cris again…
There’s Jessica. And then there’s Tess. But there may be more. The
source of the split personalities comes to light, probably as Jessica
spills the baby out… Tess keeps Jessica’s secrets from everyone, except
one… Viki and Clint band together for Jessica, but Clint’s not a free
man, he’s got a woman, from London, and she may join him, as a huge
obstacle for Viki. Then, there are other things this former married
couple must work through… It’s not about Marcie and Hugh. It’s been
about Michael and Marcie all along… It’s no longer about Adriana and
Duke, but Adriana and Rex, even though Adriana fights it.
Awwww. Surely David and Dorian can prevail!
week, I mentioned a new album by Jim Brickman featuring a song by Kassie
Here is a link to the banner for it with the how to order it bit.
GH Spoiler Commentary
An alive Manny proves
to be a dangerous, psychotic, livewire Manny that everybody, especially
Sonny, should watch out for.
Manny is like Jason Voorhees or The Terminator or the Energizer Bunny.
On Manny’s agenda:
committing criminal acts of evil against Sonny and Co.
Doesn't he have to take a number and wait for that?
Manny checks out
little Michael’s bedroom, proving he can go anywhere at any time.
to see if he has Psychonauts for PS-2 yet.
Manny’s presence so
close to the Corinthos family, has Sonny shaking in his boots for them
about time Sonny woke up and smelled the gunpowder after all this time!
begs Emily to save herself by going into hiding, far away. But Emily
stands her ground.
anyone is going to get, uh, blown up, Emily's going to be there to get
blown up too, um, dammit.
An injured Manny
seeks refuge and medical assistance, from an unwilling volunteer, either
Elizabeth or Emily.
he flip a coin to choose the lesser of the evils?
Before Manny can
terminate Elizabeth/Emily, he passes out and she gives him the slip.
gives him her slip? ew
Jason tries to hunt
Manny down before it’s too late.
before he forgets what he was doing and why?
Sam practically begs
Jason to leave Manny alone. She would rather Jason go to the hospital to
deal with his headaches and seizures. But Jason doesn’t listen to her.
First Manny, then life saving surgery. What a giver!
Lorenzo guides Jason
and Sam to Manny.
Ooooh! *I* want a seeing eye Lorenzo too!!!
Jason and Sam face
off with Manny, but the seizures have bad timing, rendering Jason
defenseless at just the wrong moment. Manny takes charge, pointing his
weapon at Sam and Jason.
he could knock Jason into a bathtub of hot, soapy water and toss in his
dirty laundry while Jason seizes. The thrashing about would leave
them clean and mountain fresh.
Sam and Jason have
won this round against Manny and his promises to ruin their lives.
knows someone needs to.
Jason and Sam differ
on the subject of Robin and her returning to save his aching head.
After the terms on which they parted, having Robin poke around inside his
brain with sharp objects might just be something to fear.
Jason would rather
Robin stay out of his business. (He experiences a memory of bad times
between them.) Robin gives him more of an aching head.
has that effect on me as well. (catching a theme here, folks?)
Sonny exacts the
truth about Reese and Ric’s one-night stand, straight from the source
herself. Her confirmation sets him on edge, angry with her and Ric, but
also with himself, hopeless with the frustration that maybe he’ll never
get over his trust and forgiveness issues.
Since people are always going to continue to make mistakes, I'd say he's
pretty well doomed on that one.
Reese relays to Ric
that she confirmed their one-night-stand to Sonny, which really sends
Ric over the edge. See Lucky and Elizabeth’s wedding reception.
just can't get good help these days, or good one night stands.
Sonny deals with Ric
about this latest betrayal with Reese. Ric stands his ground, forcing
Sonny not to let him go so easily.
Here's a line for you, Ric, "WE WERE ON A BREAK!!"
Dr. Meadows scares
the hell out of Alexis and Ric, with her prognosis and recommendations
for the pregnancy to proceed.
she tell them that yes, this two year pregnancy is going to have to end
Feeling helpless and
lost, Ric saves Alexis from her suffering by giving of himself in the
Lucky and Elizabeth’s
wedding is a thing of beauty, a Disney(-owned) fairy tale come true,
thanks to the secret machinations of Nikolas and Emily, L&L2’s fairy
this Disney is making me dizzy.
Elizabeth and Lucky
are touched deeply by Nikolas and Emily’s efforts on their behalf.
Wait’ll they see who shows up for the Cinderella-style wedding.
mice and the birds? Is Lucky going to make her clean the chimney?
Held at Wyndemere,
everybody who’s anybody arrives to take in the romance of Port Charles’
darling couple. Nikolas has taken pains to invite even Luke, because
that is what Lucky and Laura would’ve desired.
would sure hate to be someone's reluctant guest who is only invited
because someone else would want it.
Some, like Ric,
inevitably imbibe a bit too much, and spill secrets better left
unspilled at the reception later on. Yup, Ric blurts out, in a plastered
haze, that he had sex with Sonny’s girlfriend Reese.
a dumb ass.
Emily gives Courtney
(with Nikolas) the okay in showing up at the Lucky-and-Elizabeth
wedding, meaning, Emily won’t be a poopy-pants about it.
nice that Emily has allowed Courtney to show up at her own house.
Emily and Audrey
endeavor to present Elizabeth with a dream wedding and gown Cinderella
would be proud of. The fitting doesn’t quite turn out as
fairy-tale perfect for Elizabeth.
a belt, cinch it up!"
her wish for herself and Lucky to do a sleepover at Kelly’s, the night
of their wedded bliss.
thought she'd want to go to Disneyland.
The night before the
wedding, Elizabeth goes old fashioned, asking that Lucky keep his
distance until the big day he is matrimonially hers.
Blue Balls Lucky will be rolling up to the altar, I guess.
perchance to dream of Emily and a perfect wedding day request.
I show you the parapet, Emily? Please?"
Elizabeth awake. He plans to be by her side that night, at least until
the clock strikes 12 a.m.
sleep for the wicked!
Shortly after, before
the wedding, Lucky escorts Elizabeth to a pre-wedding banquet set in the
park. Elizabeth delights in Lucky’s surprise gift for her. There, they
give each other touching toasts and board a horse-drawn carriage.
picturing them banging slices of white bread toast together.
Helena is on the
loose, as a result of being let out of prison. Nikolas demands that she
not disrupt the wedding.
Helena responds well to demands, as we all know and Nikolas should have
Helena pays Nikolas
no mind. She turns up as an uninvited guest, making a big deal of
Watch out if she pins a corsage on your, Nik!
Luke orders Helena to
take her curse-spewing self and am-scray.
didn't really work for him the first time, did it?
delight in his old man at the wedding after all.
little Spencer high five is never a bad thing.
Lucky and Elizabeth
do make it down the aisle to say “I do” and become anointed as man and
Port Charles, that's a sure fire way to doom a relationship.
The newly wedded
couple head to Metro Court to enjoy the beginning of their honeymoon. A
train ride to New York City (not Disney World) the next morning
continues the rest.
should have chosen the mouse.
Nikolas would like to
be the father of Courtney’s baby. He envisions himself as the winner of
the paternity test. Jax would like to be a father, period. Maybe
he’ll go the adoption route. That’s what he relays to Courtney.
Sounds like he'll be adopting his own baby from Courtney.
Courtney bends over,
in agony. Her miracle baby! Nikolas acts fast, to speed her to GH.
Required miscarriage scare #1! Check!
There, Courtney and
Nikolas are reassured of the false alarm. Miracle baby safe.
Well, safe is relative.
Courtney trips over
her guilt in keeping Jax from knowing about the pregnancy. Nikolas
enables her, ably, by easing her guilt, and strengthening the assertion
that they don’t have to feel bad for feeling good about this baby.
better start dressing her in muumuus now if they are going to keep this
secret for any amount of time.
Nikolas and Sonny
clash, because of Courtney’s condition.
Thrusting together their large, sweaty chests and bellies while they
deliver thunderous war cries. Yeah, I know the drill.
Helena, not of her own accord, and walks away from the experience
shaken, not stirred.
she thought she had it bad with Lady J!
Nikolas orders Helena
to not even think of causing trouble with any of the women he
take her to the parapet, Helena. Remember Catherine Bell?
Besides Ric making a
fool of himself with that one-night-stand confession, Courtney blows
Nikolas’ mind at Liz and Lucky’s wedding reception. She is pregnant with
Jax’s unborn baby, paternity tests show.
should go over well!
When Courtney is
first told of the paternity, she is taken aback, her hopes dashed. She
so wanted Nikolas to be that father, not Jax. (Nikolas may very well
be the biological father. Ever hear of DNA tampering, Alexis?)
be Helena because Alexis can barely walk.
informs Jax of his paternity later, and he reacts in typical fashion, by
vowing to stick with her in their marriage, and render her divorce
request null and void.
start buying her stuff, Jax.
pairing concerns an increasingly jealous Luke. He realizes that now,
Skye’s not just playing with Lorenzo.
pick a Lorenzo and stick with them and stop hogging up the only two we
Next week, and beyond
through November Sweeps: Manny wins the next round over Jason… Jason’s
head-pain intensifies, forcing him to give in to GH… Jax’s smothering
possessiveness pushes Courtney to flee, as Nikolas’ date on a train
ride… Jax trails Courtney to that train, and hops aboard, hoping to
romance Courtney back to him... Already suffering from the betrayals of
his brother and his girlfriend, Sonny goes on a train ride too, thinking
there’s no way in hell he can be merciful to either betrayers ever
again... Reese joins him, but they reach an impasse... Meanwhile, Carly
flees Rose Lawn Sanitarium, believing an entity is out for her blood (he
is), and toward Lorenzo to plead her case, and then straight to the
train station and on board one of the trains. Lorenzo chases after
Carly, hoping to settle her down… After hearing of Ric’s dalliance with
Reese, Alexis joins the train bandwagon as a brief respite, feeling as
let down as Sonny... On one of the passenger trains: Robin, Carly and
Sam, among others; on the other, other members of the cast of
characters. The two trains crash into each other (probably the handiwork
of Manny), causing lives to hang in the balance, couples to mix and
match, precipitating the birth of Alexis’s and Ric’s baby, with Sonny
then Robin attending, tossing Carly and Manny underground in the
aftermath avalanche. Robin saves the day by helping Alexis give birth.
Jax, Courtney, Nikolas and Emily team up to help a specific other in
peril. The train crash harms Lucky, putting him in medical danger, but
galvanizing his clan. Fixing Lucky up will cost him and Elizabeth
big-time… Robin’s return could possibly be Jason’s salvation, but Sam
must fight her own insecurity; after all Jason and Robin were each
other’s big loves. Robin has no answers pre-destined for Sam, only that
she is willing to help Jason medically… Emily and Sonny could happen,
from the train tragedy, unless Emily balks… Just because Diego seems the
likeliest suspect in the roofie stalker case, doesn’t mean the case is
closed. Diego’s predicament pains Lorenzo; this is further explored...
Luke handles the Lulu problem by not handling it himself, by shoving her
off to Dillon, tweaking the insecurity complex of Georgie, no slouch as
a male magnet herself… Lucas’ homosexuality plays out against the
background and backdrop of his family and friends’ reactions.
a downright cataclysmic event! I am not seeing what REESE is
doing during all of the aftermath, so I'm expecting her demise is part OF
the aftermath. Like
I said, I thought this was all a joke. It just proves out that you
just can't get good train these days. *sigh* Right now, I'm
picturing everyone in Port Charles suddenly looking up in the same moment,
inspired, and saying, "I know, I'll get on a train! Even though not
a single soul on GH has ever, ever traveled by train, they, of collective
consciousness and like mind, all rush like lemmings to the train of death.
Lastly, I wanted to show all of you
Katrina has created for EOS a place where we can all post our "lines of
the day," along with any quick blurbs about the shows we want to throw in
And with that, I'm outta here.
I hope you are all having a stunning week.
Donate to keep
Sage & EOS
on the net!