February 7, 2005

Wow, has it really been that long since my last article?  Yikes, time really flies. I think that time goes into “warp” mode once you have kids.  I really can’t believe that my oldest is 7 and my baby is 2 1/5.  Before kids, it seems like the years didn’t go by in the blink of an eye.  Just a quick not eon Yogi, he is completely healed a now back to his old mischievous self.  It seems he is drawing Tess (our 7 year old German Sheppard mix) back to some “puppy” habits.  Tess, a dog that we adopted at Petsmart (I went for cat food and came back with a 60lb, 1 year old dog) several years ago, has always been an absolute angel.  We have not had any issues with her until…. YOGI.  Yogi, being the playful little pup that he is, loves to chew on things.  He chews mostly on Barbies, GI Joe soldiers, or his favorite McDonalds/Wendy’s Kids meal toys, really doesn’t due too much damage, until recently.  Last week I was working in my home office, when I heard this loud chewing noise.  I thought Tess was chewing on a coffee table leg, so I jumped up and ran to the family room to investigate.  In Tess’ large mouth was my son’s new game boy advance completely chewed to shreds.  The screen was cracked; the rest was totally ridden with teeth marks.  I was able to remove the game cartridge and salvage it, but there was no doubt that the actual game boy had seen its last day.  Luckily my son was already asleep and we did not have to go through the mini-drama of my game is destroyed.  I took the bite ridden game upstairs to show my husband, whose first response was of course, “where did Taylor leave it?” to which I responded, “On the kitchen counter.”

“The kitchen counter?”

“Yes, the kitchen counter.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, it was on the counter.”

“Wow, really- the kitchen counter?”

Picture really irritated facial expression… “YES, the kitchen counter”

“Well, since he did not leave it on the sofa, or any other place that would normally be a position for it to be lifted by our kleptomaniac two year old, it seems we should probably replace it.”

“That was my thought as well, but I think we need to hide this one until I can replace it, because the sight of this will surely cause major tears.”


After that discussion I hustled on down stairs to start working on the dreaded TurboTax.  Again, I heard some chewing, but this time it was accompanied by beeps and other electronic noises.  Once again, I went into the family room to investigate.  This time I was the recipient of damaged goods.  The cell phone, no wait, the brand new cell phone that I had just received that day and had earlier in the evening loaded all my numbers into, was being so nicely shared by each dog.  Tess had the majority of the phone in her mouth, while Yogi was working on the battery cover.   I got the phone from Tess, the battery plate from Yogi, was able to, sort of, snap the back back on.  Amazingly enough the phone powered up and I set it on top of the Fridge.   I scolded both dogs (it is the nicest way I can put it for all my PETA readers) and went back to finish the taxes.   I have dial-up internet at home, and those of you that have used TurboTax know that you have to check for product updates.  I had started this process earlier and I was on file 8 of 8, 86% complete when a window popped up telling me that my internet connection was lost and to click here to try again. Uggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh.  I clicked there and nothing, tried again, nothing.  Looked down and what do you know?  There was Yogi, phone cord in mouth-both pieces!  I picked him up. Put him in his crate.  Gave him a rawhide stick, gave Tess a rawhide stick.  Drank 1 shot of vodka, picked up the remote controls and any other plastic item in plain sight, put them on the mantle and went to bed.

My husband called me the next morning asking me what the heck happened to my cell phone, I filled him in on the latest chewing episodes and he asked me why I thought Tess was chewing on things.  She was out of the puppy stage when we adopted her. 

My reply:

“Well hon, I think Tess must have been quite the chewer as a puppy and now that we have Yogi, and well he is a chewing Puppy, my best guess is that Tess has been watching him and thought to herself

“Oh, yeah chewing, that is a lot of fun, I remember that, bring on the plastic” 

Let’s talk about GH 

I have been pondering different thoughts for my new column and one that really has me wondering is this:

Why do I complain so much about GH’s Sonny Show when all I do is fast forward through everything that is not Sonny or Fab Four related?

I have been watching GH via a VCR tape or Tivo for many years.  Even when I have a day off or am on vacation, I do not watch GH at its 3pm show time.  I can’t stand it.  I have spoiled myself in being able to fast forward through commercials, and blah scenes that I have no interest in.  More recently I find myself fast forwarding through most of the Sonny scenes, all of the NEM scenes, and most of the Casper scenes.  I am absolutely hooked to Alexis/Ric scenes, Lorenzo/Diego scenes. On that note, how many of you think that Maria set Diego up with an acting coach while in Mexico?  I mean, he need not save a spot on his shelf for an Emmy, but I have noticed a great deal of improvement.  Jason and Sam have me somewhat interested, Brooke and Diego are growing on me and I always enjoy Carly and Lorenzo.   Overall, I am really content with the show.  As much hate mail as this statement will get me, at this point I do not care…. I cannot stand the characters (character, please re-read the word character, now repeat it character) of Emily Quartermaine and Courtney Matthews.  Emily grates on my last nerve.  I really wish Liz would bitch slap that girl and say “Quit being a stupid, selfish little bitch”  It seems to me that the writers are trying to make her look this way. Case in point:

1. She has breast cancer and can’t bear to break Zanders heart so she breaks his heart by letting him think she is on drugs, then that she is engaged to Nikolas.   Oh, and she puts her family through similar torture by not revealing her breast cancer over her supposed drug addiction. That is better for Zander how???  That is better for the Q’s how?

 2. She has fallen in love with Nikolas (and him with her) while creating this ridiculous masquerade all for Zanders “benefit”, so she marries Zander because she thinks she is going to die.  That is better for Zander how???? 


  1. Does Courtney have a degree in social work or in child psychology or do you automatically get one if you receive a buttload of money?
  2. I think she is completely selfish and not even dear JaxAss deserves her abuse.

Any Thoughts???


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