December 12, 2002

Time for Some Detox

I've said it before.  Now it's time to live by it.  I follow the signals before they turn into beatings.  

Yes, things are still wonderful in the big picture, despite the wreck and despite some very annoying unexpected expenses that came up.  What's going on now is all on the surface.  Far be it from ME not to bitch about it, however.

Here is what it looks like when you are not on task and out of focus on your energy:

The story of my morning is classic of needing to revamp and regroup.  I've had a headache since Sunday, when I began getting only about 4-5 hours of sleep a night due to Nathan being at some nonsleeping touchpoint.  The headache waxes and wanes, but is always there.  I'm tired.  Damn.

Since yesterday morning, Nathan has dumped the following:  1/2 a bottle of root beer on my bedroom carpet (Eric left it on his nightstand and I didn't see it in time to rescue it), a quarter gallon of milk onto the dining room carpet (Oxymoronic, I know.  Who puts carpet in a dining room??).  The rest of my 2 liter bottle of sacred Diet Dr Pepper onto the dining room floor.  The (full) sugar bowl onto the dining room floor.  Josh's penny jar onto the family room floor.  The sand from the bathroom incense burner onto the bathroom floor, counter and sink.  The water from his bath onto the bathroom floor.  Four eggs hurled against the wall, cupboards and kitchen floor while I was cleaning up the 2 bottles of liquid makeup, eyebrow pencil and lipstick from my bathroom walls and sink.  Dumped half a bottle of contact lens solution onto the bathroom carpet.  Wrote on my computer monitor with a black permanent marker.  Poured 1/2 a bottle of pancake syrup into the keyboard and onto the mouse pad of the crappy computer we use for the kids to play computer games, then rolled the mouse around in it.   Put the dog's food into the dog's water.  Threw all of the flushable wet buttwipes for the kids into the toilet and flushed.  Poured out a full bottle of shampoo into the tub.   Dumped the sand out of the incense burner (shaped like a peacock) on the bookshelf.  Threw handsful of dirt from the plant in my office into my keyboard.  Drew on the wall (thank God for WD-40).   Those are just the things I can think of right off the bat.  If *I* were to read that, I'd think this kid was just not being watched or that stuff was being left down.  The thing is, he climbs and he's damned fast and he's gotten good at getting through child guards.  He  waits for the one moment that I'm peeing or cleaning up one of his other messes or sneaking 10 minutes on the phone when he bluffed me into thinking he was playing video games or on the phone or whatever.  I'm tired, remember. . .and old.

So there's that.  Then there's the actual events of the morning.  Here's the breakdown:

6:30am  Wake Delena, turn on light in her room, wash her face with a cool cloth, tell her it's time to get up.  Continue to do so until 

7:00am, then physically remove her from the bed and take her to the couch.  Turn on all lights, tell her she has to wake up and start getting dressed. Talk to her about what's happening in school that day.  Count the days until Solstice.  Tell her she has to wake up and start getting dressed.

7:15am  Bring clothes to Delena and begin physically dressing her.  Brush her hair.  Tell her to go get backpack from room.

7:20am  Tell her again to get backpack from room

7:25am  Pick her up from couch, walk her to her room and tell her to pick up the backpack from the floor.  She shows me the zipper to the backpack is broken. I tell her to use it anyway.

7:30am  Walk her to kitchen, firm grip on arm, whining voice sending razor wire down my spine (her whine, not mine).  Push down toast.  Tell her to help me pack lunch.  She left her lunchbox at school.  Get lunch bag.  

7:32am  Butter toast.  Refuse to explain why we do not have cinnamon sugar for the toast and why I will not make it for her.  Push butter toast at her and demand she eat it.

7:35am  Tell her to go get her jacket.  

7:36am  Go find out why she's not back.  Find her digging in the closet (aka "The Pit") for a jacket she outgrew 2 years ago.

7:37am  Put her struggling arms into her padded denim jacket.   Tell her to get bicycle helmet and bike lock.    She doesn't know where they are.

7:40am  Find bicycle helmet in the family room under the Christmas tree and bike lock in the pocket of the jacket she's wearing.

7:41am  Get math papers from dining room table and put into broken backpack.

7:42am  Learn I need to sign a "Healthy Kids Survey" sheet, due today. Sign sheet.

7:43am  Jam lunch bag into broken backpack.   Give her 2 quarters for milk for lunch.

7:44am  Kiss Delena good-bye at the door.  Tell her if she doesn't start taking more responsibility for getting out the door on time, Girl Scouts will go away for her.

7:45am  School bell rings.  All kids should be in class.

7:46am  Delena begins to argue about scouts.  Tell Delena I love her and hope she has a really good day and that I will not argue about this with her.  Close the door.

7:47am  Deep breath.  Count to 10.

7:48am  Discover and clean up root beer on bedroom carpet.  

8:05am  Spend almost two hours with Dyl and Nathan.  

9:45am  Put Dyl and Nathan into bath.

9:50am  Clean up dog food/water issue, now discovered and clean up "butter art" on cupboards (forgot to mention that)

10:05am  Go lurk at Sage's message board and see the few hundred pictures of awesome looking men he posted this morning.  Live in an adult world for a few minutes.  *ahhhhhh*

10:15am  Clean up water Nathan removed from bathtub and deposited onto floor.

10:20am  Get Nathan out of tub and send him to his room to cuddle under covers until I can dress him.

10:21am  Delena calls to tell me she left the paper I signed in her room.  Could I bring it to school?

10:22am  Get Dyl out of tub, or rather attempt to until he resists, wanting to watch the "cyclone" when the last of the water leaves the tub

10:23am  Dress Nathan, leave him playing video games

10:24am  Get Dylan out of tub and dressed.

10:30am  Realize that Dylan had homework that is undone.  Get him on it.

10:40am  Homeword done.  Pack Dylan's snack and realize we're now running late and have to drive.

10:45am  Get boys out the door.  Grab packages to be mailed.

10:46am  Realize the car booster seats are no longer in the Maverick where I left them.  >:<  

10:47am  Dig regular car seats out of garage and install them into Maverick.

10:55am  Realize kids have grown so much they no longer fit in regular seats.  Struggle to lengthen straps that have rusted into one place.  Realize the bell is now ringing for Dylan's class.

10:57am Wedge boys into car seats, realizing that they don't need the straps over their shoulder if they normally ride in a booster seat anyway.

10:57:15am Where are the keys?  Find keys under Nathan's car seat.

10:57:30am  Car will not start

10:58am  Squirt starter fluid into carb.  Car starts.

10:59am  Point out squirrel on sidewalk, looking cute, to boys

10:59:10am  Suicidal squirrel bolts out under my front right tire and has little head crushed, to the horror of the children to whom I have just pointed out the squirrel.  I tell them the squirrel lived and ran behind the car and up the tree (fortunately, another squirrel across the street was looking on in horror and could be passed off as the dead squirrel) and it was the squirrel's nut(s) that we crushed.  Consider doing the "Rite of Safe Passage Blessing" on the unfortunate squirrel I killed, then figured it was a stupid frickin suicidal squirrel and didn't deserve a Rite of Safe Passage Blessing.  

10:59:30am  Park a few yards from a good parking place at the school.  Rush Dyl up the path to school.

11:00am  Sit in car for a few minutes and breathe.  Nathan sits quietly in his seat, possibly terrified.

After that, I got the packages mailed (no long line!), got a new bag for Delena at the thrift shop and Nathan found a wonderful wawercruck (firetruck), complete with sirens and lights.  Very happy boy for 97 cents less 20% with my coupon.

My day has played out to the soundtrack of Nathan's voice (he is difficult to understand and feels if he talks louder and with a more frustrated tone that I will suddenly be gifted with the powers of omnicommunication) and Delena's fussing and arguing.  Is that a girl thing?  None of my boys were big on the whining and bitching and complaining.  

So here's the plan.  I'm going to take the next few hours and clean and redecorate my house, changing around the feng shui of the joint and clean it out with some sage and cedar.  My turtles, after being totally dormant for about a month, barely eating even, are suddenly going ballistic, plowing over one another and fussing.  My dog is being really bitchy.  Something's definitely funky.

So if I owe you an e-mail, I promise you'll get it soon.  I need to take some walk away time from the computer and deal with home stuff.   Wish me luck.  I know this isn't a particularly fascinating entry, but I really needed to purge.

I'm thinking cleaning, redecorating, then a mom's vacation at a spa somewhere with lots of fruits (miss them on Atkins!), liquor, massages, new age music and sleeeeeeeeeep.  Lots of sleep.  

:)  I'll be around later!!  Hopefully, more R&R'd.




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