Holy Moses!

Looks like something is going on with AMC!!  Birdies all over the net are writing to tell me that Monday, the set of AMC was closed down to all but essential taping crew, and the characters of Erica, Kendall, Bianca and Michael!

Sounds like the rape story might happen after all, but THANK GOD Boyd's name wasn't on that list!  Let's hope this gets rid of Michael Cambias for good!  I'm betting when Erica gets done with him, there won't be enough left to bury in an envelope!

Re:  today's AMC.  How stupid is Simone?  Just checking.

Andrew Dice Sage. . .

is rockin da house once again, sweet-hot, so let's be respectin and directing.  Don't read the following jokes if you are easily offended or else your eyes might just melt out of your head, dontcha know.  There will be other stuff further down, so go past the double lines to da cartoons if you ain't in-ta-rested in da funnies.

What do you call 6 naked men standing on each other's shoulders?
A scrotum pole.  Ho!

What's a mixed feeling?
 When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

What's the height of conceit?
Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.  It happens all da time, I tell ya.

 What's the definition of macho?
Jogging home from your own vasectomy.

What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball. Yo!

How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time. We know dat's right!

How many men does it take to shingle a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.

A country woman takes a bus trip north to visit her sister in the big city.  While waiting for her sister to pick her up, she asks a group of women sitting near her, "Where y'all from?"
One of the women says all snooty, "We're from someplace where we don't end our sentences in prepositions."
"O.K.," responds the country woman. "Where y'all from, bitch?"

What's the difference between a woman and a computer?
A woman won't take a 3.5 inch floppy.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. He stands there holds it in place and waits for the world to revolve around him.

A lot of people have been concerned about the changes at GHH2 this week.  I spoke with Shirley and she told me that they were having some issues regarding the site that they needed to handle, so they went to "members only" status for awhile to work on things.  You'll be happy to know that GHH2 is back to their usual status of "anyone can view, only members may post."  The site is now ready for your lurking.  If you submitted an application, be patient!  They're working through a big stack of them.  A word of advice:  e-mails that are to web-based mail such as yahoo or hotmail, as well as AOL, are automatically rejected.  Only e-mails from as ISP are accepted for membership.

The Ask Sage column was a big hit, so it will be an ongoing column as soon as I can get something set up.  If you have Ask Sage questions, send them to me with the subject heading of "Ask Sage" and they will be taken under consideration for the column.  Don't cry if yours doesn't get published.  Letters addressing the same subject may be represented by one letter.

There's likely to be a new face in Pine Valley in the next few weeks.  AMC put out a casting call for "Babe."  Not "a" Babe, but Babe, as in the pig.  She's young, beautiful (of course), voluptuous, mouthy, trailer trash with a plan to be rise above her raisin'.

According to The Wub Queen, the Abe Lincoln at the new "Great Moments with Mr Lincoln" at Disneyland is none other than Lane Davies, who plays Cameron Lewis.

Recognize Lydia but just can't place her?  Think NYPD Blue.  Jessica Ferrarone played Angela Lupo, the Lieutenant's junkie wife who was killed off.

Want to see what went on at Super Soap Weekend West?  Here are some really great pictures to check out:  AMC & OLTL and GH.

And to wrap up a mini-column, here's the story of:

HOW KURT GOT THE HEAD BACK
OFF TOPIC

You people know I adore you, right?

 

Welcome!

To much thinkin and not enough drinkin going on around here, folks!  So we're going to rectify that and get right down to the bidness of drinking and talking without doing much thinking. 

First, getting the business out of the way.  Thanks to your generous donations this month, WE ARE ALMOST THERE!  We have come very close to reaching the total amount for our expenses this month and remember, if we make it this time, the pop-ups will go away!  I'll be more than pleased for that to happen and I'm thrilled that you've all been working so hard to make that happen.  If you haven't contributed yet and would like to make the pop-up go away, your dollars help each month!  You may contributed through the PayPal button to the right or check out this page for other options.  Thanks a bunch, folks.

Secondly, I want to let everyone know that my e-mail crashed some time back.  I was able to retrieve most of my letters, but since then, my @eyeonsoaps.com address doesn't always work.  If anyone needs to contact me and get their letters to the @eos address returned, try me at rumorqueen@attbi.com.

Thirdly, I've got a few GH spoilers I want to share with you:

Nikolas and Emily announce their engagement and have a bit party at Wyndemere, reminiscent of the bacchanalia Stefan and Katherine had for their engagement. 

Stefan is determined that Lydia and Nikolas wed to regain a fortune for the Cassadines, but his plan is fraught with troubles.  Nikolas refuses to give Lydia the time of day in favor of helping Emily and Lydia is more interested in Lucky than Nikolas.

Monica has a hard time with Emily's continued pleas to keep her secret and finally ends up telling her she can't promise to keep quiet any more.

Emily has even more trouble on her hands as Gia learns the truth.

When Stefan see that Emily isn't going to go away just by asking, he plots her death by (*sigh*  do we have to do this again?) arranging for her to take a fall.

Stefan's plan goes horribly wrong and Summer ends up taking the spill instead of Emily, with Luke being accused of her murder (interesting... remember when Luke loosened the parapet to kill Helena and Katherine leaned against it with Stefan being accused of her murder?  Guess it's poetic justice of a sort).

Ric keeps Carly throughout the week, she escapes, he gets her back.

In an interesting twist, Alcazar ends up looking for Carly as well.

Liz holds Jason at gunpoint.

Taggert's disappearance is explained... maybe he was getting too close to learning the truth about Scott's dirty dealings?

Tracy breaks Dillon's heart when she tells him that Lord Hornsby doesn't care about him at all.  He turns to Georgie for comfort.

... and finally, the main part of the column is:

I love this banner.  It originated from days gone by when Katrina had a column called "Ask Katrina" which came from a previous column called "Ask Naomi" by the wonderful lady, Naomi Hersh Clackum who I totally adored.  She was with EOS before my time and I read her faithfully until she left to return to work again.  So Katrina's banner looked like this:

...and what she would do is answer questions people wrote in about in regard to AMC, GH and OLTL, asking things about history and the actors and such stuff.  It turned out that we weren't getting enough questions to keep the column going, so she had to drop it.  If you ever want to read the archives, you'll find lots of wonderful information there (click here to get there).

So what happened was when I first started writing the rumor column back in aught one, Katrina had one particular column where she had a ton of questions that were spoiler related, so she asked me if I'd field it for a week since it was more up my alley.  I did the above renegade banner to show that I had staged a bloody coup and taken over the column for the week.  :)  So now, I'm going to borrow it again for the columnized edition of "Ask Sage!"  I'm taking questions, on and off topic, as is your pleasure.  If I get enough to keep it up, maybe we'll make it an ongoing thing.  For now, I give you...

Ask Sage