Welcome to ME!!
(Yes, Sage is a guy... and a damned good looking one too!)

It's gossip, baby, plain and simple.  We're going to talk about the rumors flying around the net, what's going on with the shows and whatever else happens to interest me. We will take a look into some of the best work of our Eye on Soaps columnists of the week, as well as other hotspots around the net. 

We're going to do what I wanted to do when I first started  write a soap column.  We're gonna talk soaps.

I don't ask or expect that everyone agree with me, I just hope that when they do disagree, they'll be decent about it.  Mostly, I want to have fun dishing the soaps and would love it if you joined me. 

Get something to drink and some good munchy materials.  Take the phone off the hook and put the "do not disturb" sign on the door. It's just you and me, honey, talking soaps. 


Note:  Due to the large volume of e-mail he receives, Sage regrets that he is unable to personally answer each e-mail.  He wants you to know that he reads each and every one (some 2-3 times) and greatly appreciates your communication.  Please DO NOT ask Sage for further info on what is going to happen on the shows.  Any information he has that he can share will be put into his column ASAP.
November 8, 2004

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First and foremostly, if you have NOT skedaddled over to make a donation to Eye on Soaps this month, kindly move your sweet bottom on over to the link and make it happen!  We love being here for you and want to continue doing so.  Every donation helps and it is our pleasure to work with our readers toward the continuation of this exciting and fun site.  Click on the PayPal button above to pay by PayPal account or credit card.  Click here to learn about other ways to donate.  Sage loves you, darling.  Thanks in advance for helping out.

Secondly, it's great to be back after a two week break, ready to dive into the ABC soap gossip.  I've got my fleecy leopard print slippers, my cuddly jammies and a nice white russian (no, not Baryshnikov, the liquid variety), so let's start talkin' soaps.

I strongly considered, as I did when I returned to EOS in May, revamping my page, but even though I tried out a few new looks, I kept coming back to the same ol' design, so I'm going to go with the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" plan.  Love my kitties and the George and Brad, the e-mail boys, so this is how it will stay.  The pimp cat wins.

As I said in my last column, I'm done with the spoiler gig.  It's not what I started writing this column to do and I don't enjoy the atmosphere around the whole spoiler gig.  Sure, it's fun to give the info out to people, but you'd be surprised (or not if you've read the boards) at how nasty folks get if you get even one little detail wrong.  Competitions set up, whether you want them to or not, between sites and columnists and that's just not my bag, maaaan.  Eye on Soaps was created with an emphasis on great commentary and that's which one of my hats I want thrown into the ring. The difference is that my gig is gossip and that's the roots to which I'd like to return.  So here we go:

I have been so tremendously excited by the recent turn of events on AMC and got that ol' Soapy Sweeps feeling around the special places inside me.  Agnes Nixon would be proud.  Well, up to a point. I don't imagine she'd be excited that a hard hitter like Marcy Walker was allowed to just slip away into the darkness with a lame-assed story like disappearing into the "Colby Protection Plan" devised by Tad.  Quickly, neastly and quietly, no more Liza.  The only good thing you can say is that the door is wide open for a return when AMC returns to its senses. 

Aside from that glitch (which is open to being corrected), AMC has been sweeping away, bringing this baby story to a close at last.  Some would consider the high point of sweeps to be when Bianca finds out that Bess is really Miranda, but for me, it was hearing Tad put Krystal in her place, expertly raking her over the coals for her very instrumental part in the whole baby lie.  He said all that I'd been thinking for so long, watching it unfold.  Of course, Bobbie Eakes is being set up for her hot onscreen romance with Vincent Irizzary while Tad... whatever.  No doubt he'll be left hanging in the wind yet again.

As we watch the next week unfold, it will be fascinating to see which Bianca we get in reaction to the news that Bess is really her baby and Babe knowingly kept her from her real mother.  Are any reasons good enough?  My Sweet Kate from our AMC Spoiler Commentary this week reported (and commented):

Bianca is told the truth, but will she believe it? Especially since the person who tells her is JR. I suspect Binks will have her Babe Blinders on and not believe him. That blonde with a rack has the amazing ability to lull people into an almost soporific state where they believe everything she says. After all, if Babe believes JR is evil it must be true, right?

It is ironic, yet fitting that JR tell the truth. Ironic because after being denounced as an unfit parent by everyone but Adam and Kendall, JR is the one who proves himself to be a true parent by doing what is best for Miranda, returning her to Bianca. And fitting because it is what Dixie would want him to do. And doing this very difficult thing could finally propel JR into adulthood. To me it always seems like he is playing at being a grown-up.

Once she accepts the truth it would be great if Bianca went ballistic wouldn’t it? Yet it will be understandable if it takes her a few days to get to that point. She could be so overwhelmed by the universe’s munificence in returning her “dead” daughter that revenge won’t be the first thing that comes into her head. Or heart.

I, too, feel it's fitting that JR be the one to break the news to Bianca, although it does damage me in some fundamental way that Babe herself isn't there to be accountable for her actions.  How powerful would it be to have JR find out on his own that Bess is really Miranda, then use that information to crush Babe in front of both David and Krystal?  Seeing Bianca realize that all of these people have betrayed her would be a powerful scene.  I think I like my idea better than what we're going to get.

Furthering Kate's thought, we have to wonder if Bianca will go apeshit, as is well within her parental rights to do, or will do the scary Bianca thing and be so overwhelmed with gratitude that her baby is alive that she "understands" why Babe did what she did and why David covered for so long.  I could really see it going both ways and spoilers do not indicate how she will react.  Given what I'm watching right now (Pacific Standard Time, Darlings), as JR spins his story to Erica about Babe's letter and David lights out on damage control, I'm betting the reveal is a Friday afternoon cliffhanger and we won't see what Bianca does until Monday.  That, my friends, is good old-fashioned soap genre.  Love it!

If you are wondering why the glorious Anna Stuart has been off screen for a while, it partially has to do with helping her friend, Linda Dano, handle funeral arrangements for her recently deceased husband, Frank Attardi, who died on September 15th, as well as her mother, Evelyn Wildermuth, on September 25.  Watch for Anna to be back onscreen again on November 10th.

Rumors continue to fly that John Callahan (Edmund Grey) will be leaving or go to a recurring status.  The break up of Edmund and Maria was inevitable following the real life divorce of Callahan and Eva LaRue and I can't say I'd be sorry to see either of them go.  I've never really been a fan of any of the Santos clan (although the most recent Anita intrigues me a bit) and Edmund, as far as I'm concerned, has always had that stick up his butt thing going on. 

I've heard the powers that be are very happy with Thorsten Kaye and plan to move forward with the Maria-Zach Slater romance.  Pity for Brooke who isn't likely to get even the cast offs this time.  With Julia Barr serving as a star student in the Marcy Walker Academy of Back Burnerism, one has to wonder if she will be the next one getting an assignment in another part of the country, taking her off screen. 

For the purely shallow post, WTF was going on with that guy Rod's mustache?  He was the henchman who Anita thwarted with her stupid "my dog is lost" story.  Fake Groucho, much?

On November 17th, AMC will celebrate its 9000th episode, as well the 9000th time Krystal refers to Babe as "My Baby Doll."

AMC viewers will get the tingly joy of seeing my own personal favorite Llanview cop, John McBain (aka Michael Easton) cross over to investigate the murder of Paul "Who Cares?" Cramer later this month.  Speaking of Llanview...

It's with great pleasure that I have munched down the news that the Santi story will soon be OVER, ending with a "bang" that with any luck, will propel right through Tico's smarmy leetle head or hairless leetle chest.  I heard rumors that the story was intended to go on for a good bit longer, but new head writer Dena Higley came in and said, "OH no no no" and gave it the quick axe.  Both Javier Morga (Tico) and Lisa LoCicero (Sonia) have been handed their walking papers.

We are also told that Jessica will be the new Viki and I'm thinking "Not in this lifetime."  How she can go from a person dumb enough to marry a smarmy guy she barely knows ten seconds after breaking up with her boyfriend (wait, didn't Natalie do that as well?) to being the Super Matriarch of Llantano County in about 47 seconds?

That, my friends, is a bigger mystery than which of the 36,000 suspects killed Paul Cramer.

I was, however, invigorated to the extreme to see Vincent "Big Pussy" Pastore back on the show.  Lord, I love that man.

I never liked the character of Aidan Devane on AMC.  Couldn't stand him.  Then, Aiden Turner, who plays Aidan Devane, had to take time off and was replaced by a temp actor.  Since his return, I can't get enough of Aidan.  Why am I telling you this?  Because my tummy did a little quicken at the sight of Cristian all locked up in his seafaring prison, plotting his escape.  I never liked David Fumero.  I barely liked Cristian and that was despite a deep and abiding affection for Yorlin Madera, Cris #1.  Once Yorlin was gone, so was any interest I ever had in Cris.  I raised an eyebrow for about 27 seconds when he first kissed Natalie, surprised that I was suddenly liking them both when only recently, I'd liked neither.  It didn't take me long, somewhere in the midst of the wedding planning, to once again appreciate neither one of them.  Now... who knows?  Perhaps a reconnection, with the added spice of John McBain in the picture, will create a triangle that interests me in some way.

Provided, of course, that such a triangle does not result in Evangeline being again paired up with RJ.  Their relationship was so contrived and transparent ("Oooh, look, black people!  Let's get them together!") and never seemed to work at all.  RJ definitely needs a hot lady (my vote is Lindsay), but Evangeline isn't it.  I'd vote for Evangeline and Bo before Evangeline and RJ (and frankly, before Bo and Nora).  Is Evangeline a hot, exciting woman?  Without a doubt.  Does she have merit as a character for further back story? Absolutely.  Does Renee Goldsberry have strength as an actor to handle a front burner story?  Definitely.  Has she been given any material to take her even into the "supporting actress" category?  Not for a second.  Such a shame and such a waste.

James DePaiva recently had something to say about his director's stint at As The World Turns.  Says ex-Max, "I told Kassie [DePaiva, his wife, who plays Blair] right off the bat, if the atmosphere is anything like OLTL I'll walk right back out and I'll never go back again. But it wasn't, it's much more positive...They make it work. 'We want you on the show, how do we make it work for all of us?' and they work it out. It's not the "iron-fisted glove', the 'glove of death'. It's very different dynamic, there's a lot of support over there. I kept saying 'when do people yell and scream and go crazy here?' because at OLTL that was a pretty common experience - myself included."  He is definitely not the first actor to leave OLTL and tell the same story.  One also has to wonder why it is that now that he's at ATWT, Roger Howarth (ex-Todd) is happily doing public appearances and love scenes.  He blatantly shunned both during his tenure at OLTL.  Sounds like if you put in a little effort to make your actors happy, they're much more eager to give their all to the show.  Are you listening, ABC?

With no other pending interesting activity or rumors, we move on to...

The biggest issue burning up the internet right now (other than today's powerful show) is this loaded rumor reported by GHH2 last week:

This is the final round that will determine the fate of two brunettes currently on GH. The winner gets the guy, the storyline, and stays on contract. The loser... doesn't.  One contestant has been given all the advantages, while the other's fate rests in the first contestant's hands.  Ratings feedback will determine the outcome. See the hints below. The results will go into effect during the first quarter of 2005.

Immediately, the message boards lit up with speculation on who the two brunettes might be; who would be staying and who would be going.  To be honest, I'm not sure where Shirley was going with this (and she's not telling!  ), but there a few tidbits I can toss your way to aid in the speculation.  First off, GH itself isn't pitting any one actress against another.  I think the rumor was not meant to be taken that literally, as is clarified by a subsequent post by GHH2.  As far as the thought that one actress would get another fired on GH, fuhgetaboutit.  No way would GH give a woman that much power on the set.  There's a reason why Jill Farren Phelps sits silently knitting through many of the production meetings.  It's the Bob Guza - Head Writer - show all the way (with Chuck Pratt - co-Head Writer - busy working on "Desperate Housewives") and we all know that Mr. Guza has shows some tremendously misogynistic tendencies in the past (and present).  The new opening tells the tale, with all of the male characters dressed to the T's and the women nowhere in sight.  I heard there was another opening in production featuring the women, to be used alternately with the current opening, ala OLTL's dual openings.  But where is it? 

Nope, no woman on GH has enough power to get another one fired.  There are only two people (actors) on cast with GH who have the power to affect a serious change in how GH operates and you all know who they are (if you don't, their initials are Maurice Benard and Tony Geary).  So ease up on the speculation of Tamara Braun getting Kelly Monaco fired or Rebecca Herbst being shoved out.  Neither is true and 99% of the drama and intrigue of GH happens online, not on screen or behind the scenes.

Obviously, RH's fans are all twisted up that she's not getting more material and GH will only give the "Hey, we've got to take turns here with front burner actors" story, which leaves the question of how long the current front burner actors are going to take with their turns.  Even the new characters brought onto the show are in some way connected to those few actors.  If we're going to take turns, let's get on it!

To maybe (OK, never, but just so I can weigh in) squelch some of the rumors, let it be said again (as it has by others) that GH isn't planning to dump Rebecca Herbst.  I've dug deeply into this and as nearly as I can tell, it's just not there. 

Have you wondered what Rebecca's husband, Michael Saucedo (ex-Juan) is up to these days?  I heard that he was going to law school.  Can you imagine going nervously to your trial and suddenly realizing that the attorney for the prosecution is Juan Santiago?  Who knows? Maybe he can negotiate a better contract for his wife.

Another rumor flying around is about this connection between Jason and Courtney during a blizzard; however everything I've heard confirms that it's not a reunion or a sexual encounter, but simply further closure on a relationship they have both already put in the past.

Diego has barely gotten here and already he's getting a sister, Maria, in the form of Gladise Jimenez.  Most have pegged him as Lorenzo's son, likely with his beloved Sophia.  Since evidently no one can penetrate the sacred boundaries of Port Charles without a lineage to someone else on the show, we can figure it's likely so.

Do we really think GH was possibly organized enough to plant "Where's the missing Cassadine?" rumors months or years ago ("It's SKYE!!  It's ZANDER!") or the rumors years ago that Laura had twins, then plop ol' Connor right into the middle of it?  No way!  If it fits neatly in there, all the better.  Yep, I see it coming.  Will they get all complexy and play out the "one of the twins was Stavros' son and one was Stefan's?" or maybe whip out a "Connor is really Nikolas and Nikolas is really Connor?"  Dare they invoke Helena's bizarre remark some time back, "When is the sun/son like the dark of the moon and never brought to the light?" and give it legs in the form of Connor?  I think they dare!  Will Connor's accent suddenly get some Russian (ooh, another white Russian, shhhhweeet!) and Greek mixed into it?  Heaven and linguistics experts help us!

Did I?  Yes I did.  When?  When Sonny screamed, "NO!!"  As Katrina pointed out when she and I discussed it earlier today, it was a moment in which Sonny could control nothing and the rage he felt at that was channeled into one amazing, powerful syllable.  Jason with the baby?  Oh yeah.  Waterworks central.

Robin Mattson has already finished taping her final GH moments.  You know, I don't have anything against her as an actress, but as far as Heather goes... Buh Bye.

The song you may be wondering about from today was "Angel" by Sarah McLaughlin.

And that, my friends, brings this week's Sage visit to an end.  I'll be back next Monday night with more ABC gossip! Peace out, my darlings.

Much love,

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