You say it's your birthday

It's my birthday too - yeah

They say it's your birthday

We're gonna have a good time

I'm glad it's your birthday

Happy birthday to you.

 

That's right, darling, it's not snow, it's not dandruff, it's not volcanic ash, it's CONFETTI because IT'S SAGE'S BIRTHDAY THIS SATURDAY, JULY 5TH!!!  (Insert insane "crowd gone wild" applause) *sigh*  Other than Halloween, this is my very favorite time of year.

 

First, before I go a step further, I want to show you something WONDERFUL I've found.  Please, please go to  MELINDA COPPER, The Age of Sensuality and Grace immediately and look at the magnificent work this talented woman has done!  I desperately want to marry her and produce uber-talented, charming little babies.  Her work leaves me breathless and I really must share it with you.  She has just booted the magnificent Bev Doolittle out of the first place ribbon in my life for "Best Artist."  Her artwork is just absolutely amazing.  Write to these people.  Buy these beautiful pieces.  Decorate your home with them.  Decorate my home with them.  Make her queen of some incredible, peaceful, lush and glorious island country.  Bring her chocolates.  Do her dishes.  Wash her car.

 

What, you're still here?  Go look at those pictures!!!  Get her a crown.  NOW!

 

So yes, Sage will be a fabulous 45 years old on Saturday.  Quarante de cinq ans vieux.  Cuarenta de cinco años de edad.  Gli anni di quaranta cinque vecchi.  DaHaj 'oH QAQ jaj Daq Hegh.  When I was little, my mom used to tell me that the whole world stopped in hushed awe when they heard I was coming and then all at once, everyone, everywhere set off fireworks to celebrate.  I didn't know they weren't for me until I was about twelve.  I still am not completely convinced.  Last year sucked because Mom was really sick and everyone pretty much forgot.  I'm going to trust that this year will be better.  >:<  I sent all of my sisters the link to www.giftcertificates.com and told them I wanted them to load me down with gift certificates for Amazon.com and Olive Garden and stuff like that, so hopefully THAT is broad enough of a hint for them!  Mom and I don't get to go out to dinner nearly enough and she's in much better spirits after I've hauled her ass around town a bit and given her some good feed.  Now I just have to make sure Kurt doesn't use the festivities to his own advantage and decide to download that HEAD!

 

There is SO much to celebrate!!!  First, of course, is finding that faboo website of art.  Second, as you already know, is my BIRTHDAY ON SATURDAY JULY 5TH and next is, as you may have noticed when you signed on, THERE ARE NO POP UPS ON EOS ANY MORE!!!  This is because for two months in a row, our donations covered our site expenses, so there is no need for the extra fund raising!  As long as our readers continue to help us out as they have for the past two months, the site should remain a clean, fast load with NO POP UPS!  If you'd like to keep EOS pop up free, you may contribute using your credit card or PayPal account by clicking on the button to the right OR you may go to this page to find out about more options.  Our expenses come due around the 9th of the month (they keep moving the date on us a day or so each direction).  Your support is greatly appreciated!  We look forward to keeping those blasted popups off the site with your help!  [Note:  Popups will remain on the archived versions of this page.  That would require going back to each old column I've done and taking off the popups, which is more computer time than Sage has, but as long as the donations cover the expenses, there won't be any popups on this and future columns.] 

My heartfelt thanks to all of you who have donated to keep EOS going.  You are the reason we're still around and the wonderful writers who have so generously donated their energy, talent and time to writing (without compensation except for your kind letters and big cyber hugs from me and Katrina to them) are the reason why there is so much here to enjoy!  I want to send out a great big thanks to our brilliant EOS team for all of their efforts to make EOS such a fun place to be. 

 

So I'm doing a little happy dance about those three things and if THAT wasn't enough, I found out that ALSO because of my best-of-the-net readers, Sage won the Rocky Award this year for best scoops on the net!!  Thanks to everyone who voted!!  This makes me very, very happy!  All of the results of the Rocky Awards may be seen here.

 

With all of that out of the way, it's time to start talking soaps!!

 

There's a good amount to cover, so we'd best get this engine cranked over and rolling down the road.

 

AMC

 

A lot of people are starting to worry about Stuart and Adam.  Since Liza and Adam quietly divorced, David Canary has gotten very little airtime except for whatever this is that he's doing with Michael Cambias.  The rumor gremlins are whispering that Canary has been approached by a soap on another network with a very good offer.  Now we hear that Jennifer Bassey (Marian) is going to be getting a story involving Liza and Tad (returning to more of "the old Marian") and that doesn't seem to leave much room for Stuart.  It all starts on July 21st.

 

On the Eye on All My Children Main Page, we showed you this picture (the one everyone on the net is using) of the official NECK of AMC (New Eye Candy, Kids!), Tomy Dunster.  He will be playing Juan Pablo Renato Ruiz de Vasquez, who is rumored to be somehow connected to Carlos, possibly a brother or the more enchanting side of his personality.  He's gorgeous, he's rich, he's charming!  AMC has officially been taken out of Alert Red on the Eye Candy Emergency Deficit Alert System (ECEDAS).  With Boyd around, Ryan on his way back and Vincent Irizarry still around, we have a good supply of scenery around for now.

 

Motel Williams is back on July 14th, this time playing himself instead of Erica's judge. 

 

Supposedly, JR is coming back again, but the rumors of a Dixie return are not holding any basis in fact at this time.  Like the eternal Brenda Returns rumors, fans will always have Dixie in the batters box whether it's true or not.

 

OLTL

 

By all accounts, he's not only merely dead, he's really most sincerely dead.  An autopsy shows that it truly is Mitch under that Mardi Gras mask on the docks and the suspects read like the Llanview phone book.  Walker in particular will be setting up a few folks to take the fall.  Lindsay's scarf is found on the docks thanks to Troy.  Someone confesses to the crime, but didn't do it.  Someone else is arrested, but also didn't do it.  This may go on for a while.

 

The unwinding of Troy has begun and the big question that comes up is whether or not it's really Troy.  Could it be Colin after all?  WAS it Colin who crawled into bed with Joanna after all and caused her to jump off a cliff?  Did Colin find a way to cheat death?  One thing is for sure, Troy and Lindsay still have it and I have to give them the award for best sex EVER on OLTL.  Sssssssmokin!  Look for him to lock lips with Gabrielle after she confides to him how insecure Bo and Nora's bond makes her.  Um, Troy, I'm feelin a little insecure myself.  Get yerfineself on over here, boy!

 

The best news is that it seems assured that my buddy, Tuc Watkins, will be returning as the rapscallion, David Vickers (shown here with Flash's last mama, Tina the third (or was it fourth, oh who cares), in August.  Supposedly, it's a contract job and not a quick shot.  Sage like.  Sage like a LOT!

 

Marcie's studly-ish brother, Ron, will be showing up in August in the form of Tim Adams.

 

You've probably already heard that this Friday's special Fourth of July episode is one of the famous OLTL stand alone, not to be missed special offerings.  Set your VCR if you're at the BBQ.

 

GH

 

You heard right.  July 16-17th shows veteran GH actress, Rachel Ames return to the screen as Audrey Hardy.  Go figure.

 

Once again, the Rumors That Would Not Die are afoot.  NO, Robin Christopher (Skye) isn't leaving, not for another network, not for anywhere any time soon.  Vanessa Marcil is not returning any time soon and it's not expected that the role of Brenda will be recast.

 

The rumors that Chad Brannon (Zander), Laine Davies (Cameron) and Wally Kurth (Ned) are leaving appear tentatively, at this time, unfounded.  I've got a lot of feelers out there checking it out, but so far, I'm getting a lot of shrugged shoulders and puzzled looks when I ask.  The best I've gotten is that yes, Wally's contract is up and if something better comes along, he's outta there!!  It is possible that GH is getting the hint because I've heard they're NOT eager to lose even more talent to other projects and networks after...

 

The rumors of Nancy Lee Grahn being slowly written out persist aggressively, first as Alexis being busted as Dobson, then of Ned finding out she faked her DID and seething to her that she's sicker than he ever thought, then of losing any visitation rights with Kristina, then going nutty and being shipped off to the Funny Farm by the end of the year.  Is it because NLG has been vocal about denouncing GH's insistence on ignoring the over 40 club?  Why the sudden railroading of a character that Guza created to be strong and wise?  (a freak of nature in Guzaland) Makes sense to me.  What can fans do to keep her on the show?  On one hand, I'd say write to the powers that be, which you can find on this page.  On the other hand, I'd answer, "Probably not a godblessed thing."  As I've said before, this regime knows what it wants and fan input has zero to do with it.

 

Did you order your Hel's Belle's T-shirt?  Get 'em while they are hot! These are NICE shirts, not just an iron on!   Although TV Guide Online is reporting that Constance Towers will be back as Helena for shows in July, along with a few other places, that's news to Constance Towers, who has yet to be contacted.  Her official announcement at: www.constancetowers.com

A few GH folk have been on vacation, including Ingo Rademacher (Jax) and Jackie Zeman (Bobbie), who just re-signed her contract.  No, don't look for a story for her, but more of the same for the time being.  No word on what awaits Jax when Ingo returns.  There is speakage of Luke bringing back Laura when Tony Geary comes back from vacation. 

Psst.  Genie. Don't come back.  The same people who
did THIS are STILL THERE!!! DON'T come BACK!

Equally quiet is the answer for *Why God Why* regard to the bizarre recasting of the role of Lydia.  Jessica Ferrarone was just wry enough to be acerbically delicious as the antithesis of Princess Emily and quickly won over fans with her deadpan delivery of one line zingers like "Why don't we all run out into the fog?"  With no notice, suddenly it was announced that J. Robin Miller (Beverly Hills 90210 and an appearance on CSI) will be taking over the role beginning on the show that airs July 11th.  By all appearances, we're trading off sleek, chic and sharp to speak for Jensen Buchanan, toot toot sweet.  *sigh*  Guess she was just too good for GH where sometimes, if you're forced into the cookie cutter shapes, it cuts off your head.  I'm not saying J. Robin Miller isn't the next Genie Francis.  I'm just saying that Jessica Ferrarone was wonderful in the role and it sucks that she's gone.

July 4th is a special day for Sonny and Carly fans when Sonny has a moving montage of memories about his relationship with Carly.   Faith makes a play for Sonny, then for Alcazar.  Sonny sets her straight on how things stand between them and how he feels about his wife.  Knowing how much Sonny hates her gives Faith a thrill when she gets the chance to yank his chain with the required affection.  Guess all that hair pulling and kissing and spitting and gun to the head business just didn't sit right with her.

The question I'm asked most is just when Carly is going to get out of the Panic Room and be returned home to Sonny and Family.  On July 11th, Liz runs smack into Carly when she opens the door to the Panic room.  No word yet on whether that means Carly's returned home because freaky little birds are chirping that Liz might not react as expected.  Freak birds, mind you, but birds nonetheless. 

The fallout from Carly's kidnapping will be immense and wide spread.  Courtney has a bit of a snit when she realizes how deep Carly and Jason's friendship runs.  Sonny continues to protect Ric after he learns what he's capable of doing, which drives a big wedge between him and Jason.  When Edward learns of and believes the ruse that Carly is dead and Sonny is now with Faith, he demands Michael be returned to his natural family, the Quartermaines, and Sonny realizes the full extent of the effects of the deal with the FBI.

Both Alcazar and Ric give Carly a nudge about Sonny cavorting with Faith, but although she pretends she's devastated, later, she snuggles up with her bun-in-the-oven and tells LaPetite Corinthos that Daddy has a plan!

Who the complete heck is Stan?  Baby, Stan is DA MAN, Da Bug Man who hears the panic room door open through a listening device and starts to figure things out!

I had to laugh when I read that Guza and Pratt were into the idea of a Tracy Quartermaine return if the storyline was conducive to it.  Wait?  Aren't THEY the writers?  Like they are tempest tossed at the mercy of the story?  God help us if these stories are so shitty that even the writers can't control them any more!

Note to the folks who are doing Natalia Livingston's make up:  TOO MUCH LIPSTICK!!  The glare was blinding.  Admittedly, I thought the kiss today between Nikolas and Emily was hot, hot, HOT, but I kept imagining Tyler Christopher spitting and wiping a good deal after that take. 

Writers are trying to coax Stephen Nicholas into staying longer than his contract (which ends in December) states by promising him a big part of the November sweeps.   If he still feels the same way he did 2 years ago, he's a practical man and if they are working him, he'll do the work. 

Trying to recapture the rogue and darling on the run energy of Luke and Laura, Dillion and Georgie will head for the road beginning the week of June 7th.  Don't worry.  Unlike their dynamic predecessors, they don't get far and are only gone for 2 days.

Yes, it's true that Port Charles has been canceled, effective October 3rd when the next chapter, "The Gift," ends.  Expect a lackluster wrap up for the story with little fanfare or promotion.  Although a polished announcement on Friday indicated that room would be made for PC staff at other ABC shows, the response from GH was, "Pfft, not here, it won't!"  Whether or not ABC will force the hand of GH executives to take actors and creative staff, like it or not, remains to be seen.  There is a petition about to bring characters Lucy Coe and Kevin Collins back to GH, which you can find here.  Since some of the actors are still under contract with ABC, the individual shows may not have a choice.  Fans of the show heaved a cautious sigh of relief when it garnered an Emmy nomination this year, but at that time, the decision had pretty much already been made and the die was tossed.  When I asked around, the consensus was that PC had gotten in over its head by taxing traditional soap writers with trying to write otherworldly stories that were limited at best in their spectrum.  The same story was continuously tossed about, ultimately leaving nearly everyone in this version of Port Charles to be some sort of mystical being left little room for the human drama the writers were accustomed to developing.  The regrouping of Port Charles production into blocks was a last ditch effort to allow more time for research and story development, but when the current arc, Desire, failed to deliver the goods, the writing was on the wall.  ABC Prez, Brian Frons claims it's all about the money and I'm inclined to believe it.  The current arc, "Desire," ends July 2nd.  My condolences to those who will greatly miss this courageous and absolutely determined effort.  Supposedly, ABC is leaving it to local affiliates to decide how to fill the half hour time slot that Port Charles will vacate.

With that, the time has come for Sage to take his leave for the night.  I hope all of you have a tremendous week and a spectacular holiday weekend.  When you see the fireworks, think of Sage's birthday!!