December 9, 2004

OK, OK, exercise makes you feel better.  B-12 really makes you feel better.  Eating right also really makes you feel better. I have to remember this.  Maybe that will keep me going during the times when I really, really don't want to do this.  I am absolutely determined not to make the same mistake as before and stop once I get into it.  I've spent a lot of time evaluating why I balk and run as soon as I start to see some success.  Am I afraid of success?  Am I afraid of being thinner?  Do I just miss the comfort of the food?  Do I just hate exercising that much?  Lord knows I'll try 1000 things before I start to exercise.  Do I just get tired of all the effort for slow reward?  I've mulled this stuff over and over in my head and still don't have a clue. 

I figure that although it would be nice to know what it tripping me up, it doesn't really matter.  The bottom line is to just not do it and break through the wall.  I have to not stop when I feel like I want to, go ahead, get up onto the treadmill, watch the video, say no to the binging (binging = gooood) and eating whatever I want whenever I want.

Just do different.

I started on Monday with "Walk Away the Pounds," the one mile work out (since I hadn't done any kind of exercise really in months, I figured I should start out slow).  I didn't really feel anything or break a sweat, but figured at least I had done something. The next day, I did the two mile work out and felt it a little bit more.  The biggest problem I have with videos is that I get really, really sick of hearing the people say the same things at the same time over and over and over.  That keeps me from being able to focus on one program of exercise for any length of time.  I think it's good to trade off anyway. 

Yesterday and today, I did the treadmill.  Both days, I did 30 minutes, which confused me a bit.  On Walk Away the Pounds, they said we'd done 2 miles in 30 minutes.  On the treadmill, I worked a lot harder and only did 1.4 miles in 30 minutes.  The treadmill gets me into not a pouring sweat, but a very glistening sweat.  I didn't glisten with WATP, but I got a little out of breath and mostly, my arms were a little weak from lifting the green bean cans over my head for the arm work.  With the treadmill, I do 5 minutes of warm up at about 2.5 miles an hour, then I up it to 3 mph for another 5 minutes.  After that, I raise the incline to half of its highest point and go for 5 minutes, then up to its highest for another 5 minutes, then down to flat at 3 mph for 5 minutes, the cool down at 2.5 mph for a final 5 minutes.  It feels like a good workout. 

The thing is, the 30 minutes actually seems to go pretty fast.  The 30 minute drive into Placerville on the weekends also seems to go faster.  Maybe it's because I'm older.  Maybe it's because I don't hate it as much. 

I'm still on very heavy protein and just a few complex carbs.  High carbs, especially the sweets, I really, really love, but they make me feel fairly polluted inside.  I do feel much better eating this way.  It seems really foolish to start a new way of eating right before the holidays, but hey, when it's time, it's time!

Christmas is coming along nicely! I've done 5 readings (I only got feedback on one, so I hope the rest of you were OK with yours!), plus Eric's grandmother sent the two of us $100 for Christmas and a dear friend of mine gifted me with a Walmart gift card.  Eric went to the DMV today and managed to stop a garnishment for registration (we don't even own the vehicle any more and had previously turned in the release of liability) and got about $70 refunded on fees paid.  That check should show up before my final shopping.  I am sleeping a lot better these days, knowing St Jude came through again.  :)

Joe has a new portrait up:

"I am the antichrist. You get me in a vendetta kind
of mood. You tell the angels in heaven that you've
never seen evil so singularly personified as you did
 in the face of the man who killed you"

He's ready to start doing commissioned art. If anyone wants an original graphite portrait from a photograph, go here.  He really does a wonderful job and they are a GREAT Christmas gift!  Be sure and look through his gallery!

I LOVE my son's bus driver.  Yesterday, when Nathan got on the bus, all of the kids stood up and applauded and said, "Yaayyyy!  Nathan's here."  He led them in doing that for every kid who got on the bus.  Today, it was, "Three cheers for Nathan!  Hip Hip Hooray!..."  :)

Yesterday just slipped away from me.  It was gone before I realized it was actually hear.  Odd, this time displacement thing.  (I kinda dig it)

Hope you all have a great weekend, in case I don't make it here tomorrow. 

Much Love,