November 25, 2003
fun it was that so many people took the
Katrina quizzes! Again, feel free
to write me at
email@example.com if you have
any questions about the answers.
It's been a blissfully quiet time
lately, with the only real wrinkle in
time being the toothache and some nausea
from... something. Not sure if
it's from all the Tylenol I've been
taking or from the tooth or from a
stomach bug or what, but I'm working on
sending it away. (*Be Gone!!*)
Josh, Valerie (his girlfriend) and David
will be coming over for Thanksgiving
lunch (we're eating early because Josh
and Valerie are family hopping that day)
and beyond that, we don't have plans.
Eric has been taking side jobs here and
there to piece together money to go on
and he actually worked yesterday and is
working this afternoon! I've been
doing lots of praying about Christmas,
so I'm really, really hoping some of
what he's doing can work into a long
term thing to get some dollars together
in the next month. I've definitely
seen that life can turn on a dime ("a
dime..." isn't everything about
finances?) in a matter of an afternoon,
so that leaves an enormous about of
miracles that can happen in a whole
month! I have two calla lilies
blooming. One is way down in the
leaves of the lilies, barely visible and
barely open. The other is still
unopened. Good things are coming
(but one of them is hidden!)
Speaking of good things, I have more of
them to share with you. First, is
a link to some digitally altered
pictures. You run your cursor over the
pictures to see the original picture.
It really opens your eyes to how
retouched most of the pictures we see
Another fun thing is
this that my son David wrote for his
Tried and true ways
to get sent to the counselor's office
One of my favorite Thanksgiving jokes:
A young man named John received a
parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad
attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's mouth was
rude, obnoxious and laced with
John tried and tried to change the
bird's attitude by consistently saying
only polite words, playing soft music
and anything else he could think of to
"clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled
at the parrot. The parrot yelled back.
John shook the parrot and the parrot got
angrier and even ruder.
John, in desperation, threw up his hand,
grabbed the bird and put him in the
freezer. For a few minutes the parrot
squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet.
Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John
quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto
John's outstretched arms and said "I
believe I may have offended you with my
rude language and actions.
I'm sincerely remorseful for my
inappropriate transgressions and I fully
intend to do everything I can to correct
my rude and unforgivable behavior."
John was stunned at the change in the
As he was about to ask the parrot what
had made such a dramatic change in his
behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask
what the turkey did?"
I saw a bumper
sticker that reminded me that I hate
this type of bumper sticker. Have
you seen those stupid, arrogant things
that say, "DON'T BLAME ME! I VOTED
FOR ______!" [Insert the name of
the opponent to whatever power is being
attacked.] I am amazed at how
completely self-empowered these people
are. It's like we're all gunning
for the guy driving the pick-up, saying,
"GET HIM!! That's the sonofabitch
responsible for the problems this
country is having!! That's fucking
STEVE and I'll be he voted for BUSH!!!"
Then we see the bumper sticker and say,
"Well I'll be buggered! Steve
voted for Gore! Let's tip away and
leave him alone." Oh yes, unless
we saw the sticker, we'd all be actively
blaming him. No ego there.
Then there are the
really classy ones like, "Don't get too
close or I'll flip a booger on your
My favorite is
"DARWIN IS DEAD AND HE'S NOT COMING
BACK!!" Um. No shit,
Sherlock. There's that whole thing
of being mortal and all.
Obviously, they're pissed that people
got their own fish and put feet on it.
Oh, then there's the one where the FISH
OF TRUTH is eating a dead Darwin fish.
Then there's this way
to save money at Christmas:
I spent about $20,
very much needed for Important Things on
unimportant things today, namely
cleaning products. My house smells
like feet and ass and armpits and
18-year-old incontinent dog, so I'm
getting pro-active about getting rid of
or covering up the smells. I was
watching Baby Looney Toons today and it
was about the little Looneys' fear of
the toilet and it dawned on my that
Granny's bathroom looked like it smelled
nice, which made me want to micro-clean
my own bathroom. Fortunately, a
good bit of the things I needed were on
sale, so I got a bargain or two.
I'm going to get scrubbing soon.
I've still got some CLR left, so that
will help me along with the hard calcium
deposits. (Have I mentioned that I
hate cleaning? Like even more than
the average person hates cleaning?
Like beating my chest, falling to the
ground and howling in primal outrage
Weird Eric fact:
The feeling that people get when they
bite aluminum foil or the bristles of
their toothbrush where the hair goes up
on their arms and they shudder like mad?
Eric gets that over licking popsicle
sticks. Tres odd, no? He
also used to date a girl who was
terrified, like, psychotic horror, of
balloons. Mine is snakes. I
go into that fugue where you start
screaming and can't stop.
Take a small amount of chicken, maybe
1-2 chicken breasts preferably, and boil
them until the meat is falling apart.
Take the meat from the bones (keep the
broth) and return it to the broth once
you get all the bones out.
Leftover chicken is fine, but I've found
that canned chicken doesn't work all
that great. Add about a quart of
water to the broth and bring it to a
boil. When it's boiling, add
bullion to it to flavor to taste.
Add a 16 oz package of elbow macaroni to
the mix and let it boil for about 8
minutes. Drain and eat. It's
sooo nummy and filling and is great
nurture food. If it's too bland
for your taste, you can melt a bit of
cheese on top. It will also keep
to reheat if you refrigerate it.
Nathan especially loves "macanomi and
chicken" and begs for it.
Tune in tomorrow for
my rant on the Michael Jackson arrest.
Have a marvy night,
you gorgeous creatures.