November 25, 2003

How fun it was that so many people took the Katrina quizzes!  Again, feel free to write me at if you have any questions about the answers. 

It's been a blissfully quiet time lately, with the only real wrinkle in time being the toothache and some nausea from... something.  Not sure if it's from all the Tylenol I've been taking or from the tooth or from a stomach bug or what, but I'm working on sending it away.  (*Be Gone!!*)

Josh, Valerie (his girlfriend) and David will be coming over for Thanksgiving lunch (we're eating early because Josh and Valerie are family hopping that day) and beyond that, we don't have plans.  Eric has been taking side jobs here and there to piece together money to go on and he actually worked yesterday and is working this afternoon!  I've been doing lots of praying about Christmas, so I'm really, really hoping some of what he's doing can work into a long term thing to get some dollars together in the next month.  I've definitely seen that life can turn on a dime ("a dime..." isn't everything about finances?) in a matter of an afternoon, so that leaves an enormous about of miracles that can happen in a whole month!  I have two calla lilies blooming.  One is way down in the leaves of the lilies, barely visible and barely open.  The other is still unopened.  Good things are coming (but one of them is hidden!)

Speaking of good things, I have more of them to share with you.  First, is a link to some digitally altered pictures. You run your cursor over the pictures to see the original picture.  It really opens your eyes to how retouched most of the pictures we see really are:

Another fun thing is this that my son David wrote for his online friends:

Tried and true ways to get sent to the counselor's office

One of my favorite Thanksgiving jokes:

The Parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.

John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.

Then suddenly there was total quiet.

Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.

I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

I saw a bumper sticker that reminded me that I hate this type of bumper sticker.  Have you seen those stupid, arrogant things that say, "DON'T BLAME ME!  I VOTED FOR ______!"  [Insert the name of the opponent to whatever power is being attacked.]  I am amazed at how completely self-empowered these people are.  It's like we're all gunning for the guy driving the pick-up, saying, "GET HIM!!  That's the sonofabitch responsible for the problems this country is having!!  That's fucking STEVE and I'll be he voted for BUSH!!!"  Then we see the bumper sticker and say, "Well I'll be buggered!  Steve voted for Gore!  Let's tip away and leave him alone."  Oh yes, unless we saw the sticker, we'd all be actively blaming him.  No ego there.

Then there are the really classy ones like, "Don't get too close or I'll flip a booger on your windshield."  Nice.

My favorite is "DARWIN IS DEAD AND HE'S NOT COMING BACK!!"  Um.  No shit, Sherlock.  There's that whole thing of being mortal and all.  Obviously, they're pissed that people got their own fish and put feet on it.  Oh, then there's the one where the FISH OF TRUTH is eating a dead Darwin fish.  Aggressive, much?

Then there's this way to save money at Christmas:

I spent about $20, very much needed for Important Things on unimportant things today, namely cleaning products.  My house smells like feet and ass and armpits and 18-year-old incontinent dog, so I'm getting pro-active about getting rid of or covering up the smells.  I was watching Baby Looney Toons today and it was about the little Looneys' fear of the toilet and it dawned on my that Granny's bathroom looked like it smelled nice, which made me want to micro-clean my own bathroom.  Fortunately, a good bit of the things I needed were on sale, so I got a bargain or two.  I'm going to get scrubbing soon.  I've still got some CLR left, so that will help me along with the hard calcium deposits.  (Have I mentioned that I hate cleaning?  Like even more than the average person hates cleaning?  Like beating my chest, falling to the ground and howling in primal outrage hate cleaning?)

Weird Eric fact:  The feeling that people get when they bite aluminum foil or the bristles of their toothbrush where the hair goes up on their arms and they shudder like mad?  Eric gets that over licking popsicle sticks.  Tres odd, no?  He also used to date a girl who was terrified, like, psychotic horror, of balloons.  Mine is snakes.  I go into that fugue where you start screaming and can't stop.

Cheap meal:  Take a small amount of chicken, maybe 1-2 chicken breasts preferably, and boil them until the meat is falling apart.  Take the meat from the bones (keep the broth) and return it to the broth once you get all the bones out.  Leftover chicken is fine, but I've found that canned chicken doesn't work all that great.  Add about a quart of water to the broth and bring it to a boil.  When it's boiling, add bullion to it to flavor to taste.  Add a 16 oz package of elbow macaroni to the mix and let it boil for about 8 minutes.  Drain and eat.  It's sooo nummy and filling and is great nurture food.  If it's too bland for your taste, you can melt a bit of cheese on top.  It will also keep to reheat if you refrigerate it.  Nathan especially loves "macanomi and chicken" and begs for it.

Tune in tomorrow for my rant on the Michael Jackson arrest.

Have a marvy night, you gorgeous creatures.