Ho Ho Ho and all that fa la la stuff! Just went out to the mailbox and along with eighty-four thousand catalogs, I found this bundle of letters postmarked Port Charles. Couldnít figure out how they got to my house but since itís getting close to Christmas, I thought Iíd just send them on to St. Nick via email and cut out the middleman. I heard a rumor that the Big Guy has EOS bookmarked on his home p/c. Seems he canít get enough Sage!
Hi Ė itís me, Sonny. I just wanted to let you know that Iíve been a pretty good boy this year, all things considered. Well, there was that time I tried to kill that Alcazar guy. But that wasnít really me anyway. I mean it was me, but really I just ordered Jason to blow up the guyís warehouse. I felt really bad afterwards.
Oh and that slut that I knocked up when I was still married to Carly? Well, Jason is taking care of that for me too. I still maintain that the missus and I were ďon a breakĒ.
I tried to play nice with my dumb brother this year, but he just makes me soooo mad!! First he kidnaps Carly and I let him live and now heís trying to keep me from my new kid by marrying Alexis! Iím pretty sure he got dropped on his head when he was little. Recently he tried to get me in big trouble with those stupid RICO charges again, like thatís gonna happen. What a doofus, doesnít he know that Iím Sonny and that I always get what I want??
Speaking of, it would be really neat if you could ship a few sets of those lead crystal glasses my way this year. I know that you got me some last year too, but I had a little, um Ö accident with a few of them. Actually I think Jason was responsible, but I donít want to get him in trouble.
Hope youíre doing ok, Iíll leave that 2lb bag of Kona on the table just like last year. My best to your wife.
Michael Corinthos Jr.
Iím not even sure I know what to ask for since Iím so used to men letting me down. I think Iíve been a pretty good little redhead this year. Especially since I spent half of it locked up in Pentonville Ė without cause I might add. It does tend to keep one on the wagon and out of the gossip columns. You just donít know how hard it is to maintain oneself in such a wretched place! I must say however, that I did lose a few pounds on that penal spa cuisine so I came out looking more my normal svelte self. Thatís all fine well and good since Iím hopelessly enamored of my good friend Luke. I really do care for him and Iím so hoping that one day he will see me as more than a temporary sidekick on his adventures hunting Laura. Oh well, at least heís not my cousin. Thatís something.
There are two things Iím looking for under my tree this year. The first is a really, really huge carpetbag that I can throw all sorts of weird items in like terrible wigs, granny glasses, denim outfits and Bubba teeth. The second is some new, well Ė um, unmentionables. It seems as though most of the weight I lost in the big house simply migrated north. I do hope Luke isnít a leg man. A nice gift certificate to La Perla would be much appreciated.
Must run, I have a mani/pedi at 2!
Skye Chandler Quartermaine
Hereís what I want for Christmas this year.
2. Short sleeved T-shirts (white or gray)
3. A new leather jacket
4. Doc Martenís
5. Spare battery for my cell phone
6. To laugh once in awhile
7. Dancing lessons
8. A reason to rip a condom package open with my teeth
9. A baby that wonít get taken away from me
10. Sonny to get on some meds so I can stop babysitting him
I thought I should address you that way since Iím practicing being upstanding, responsible and polite so that my girlfriendís dad (whoís also the police commish) will let me continue to date her. I canít say that I blame him when we did run off together, got caught in a hotel room during a huge fire (wow, talk about your cataclysmic events!) made her cry several times when I knocked boots with another girl and almost got her killed by some psycho chick with a garden tool. Talk about killing the mood.
I really am a good guy you know; just trying to stay halfway normal in my family is a major feat in itself. You know about my little problem right? Well it seems to have cleared itself up; right about the time I started cross dressing Ė go figure. Anyway, Iím still hoping to direct my own movie, maybe a cross between Pretty in Pink and Say Anything with a little Sheís all That thrown in, in the meantime Iím getting some life experience from this really cool guy named Luke. Heís a pretty badass dude and itís cool that he lets me hang around him so much when heís already got a son, but Iím not complaining. If I stick close and learn from him this could be a mighty long ride.
Um, some CDís would be nice to find under the tree. Thereís a new one out by this kind of dorky looking sensitive guy, supposed to be pretty good. Anyway, I canít think of the title right now so I guess anything by Maroon 5, Matchbox 20, Finger 11 or any other band with a number in it would be cool.