and his name shall be... Ryan Lavery!

Introducing the guest writers who sing for us "when the Muse strikes"

September 6, 2005
By Emeraldax

A not so fun fact about Emeraldax:  I’m extremely conflict avoidant. If I get into it with someone, it is only because I am very, very upset.  Even then, I’m such a little mouse about it that people often don’t realize I was angry.  Squeak!  Why am I telling you all this?  Zach said three little words on Monday that caused such a [fire]storm on the internet that I’m pretty sure I don’t need to go to a dermatologist and get my face peeled.  Its blistered enough, thanks.  Unfortunately I decided to jump right into the miasma.  Now I’m exhausted, and I don’t have the energy to bring it here to this column.  So lets just superficially summarize my feelings about the current state of Zendall.  Zach calls Kendall a “betraying bitch.”  Pretty shocking.  On the other hand, didn’t she in fact betray him by going to the cops when she repeatedly promised not to?  On the other hand, wasn’t she concerned for his life after he almost got shot?  On the other hand, didn’t Zach tell her that this was something he needed to do and she should not interfere?  On the other hand, didn’t she make it clear she didn’t want him involved in her activities?  On the other hand, doesn’t he have a major powder keg of a secret himself?  On the …..AAAAAUUUUGH!  See why I am so frustrated?  There are too many hands in this scenario, and none of them are resting on anyone’s ass.  Too much intrigue, and not enough inthesheets. 

I like how Kendall is realizing that she cares for Zach.  I think she was so silent during Simone’s tirade because Simone was echoing her own beliefs about Zach just six months ago. She was still with Ethan and believing his lie that Zach killed Edmund. She was sympathetic to Ethan's hurt over Zach’s denial that he was his son. She didn't give two spits for Zach. Then she married him. Then she got to know him.  So now she has to figure out what she feels about him.  When she blurted out that she cared for him, the look on his face was one of disbelief.  He’s gotten pretty complacent with everyone in town hating his guts (demonstrated so well, minutes before), that the idea of someone caring about him was an uncomfortable fit.  On Friday’s show, Zach was working hard to get Kendall to hate him again, so she would be too distracted to keep pushing for the truth.  “Damn you, Ryan.”  Indeed. 

Greenlee gets major props for realizing that some serious confusion is going on inside her friend’s head.  I think Ethan might have noticed it as well.  But he still needs to get a clue about his father.  Ethan was legitimately hurt by Zach’s lie about the paternity, but he didn’t really try and understand the motive behind it.  He ignored Kendall’s advice and went straight into revenge mode.  He accused his father of murder and then had his livelihood taken away from him.  And now, just like Kendall warned him, he is left with emptiness.  Somehow he expects Zach to be the one to reach out to him, but he doesn’t seem to realize that Zach already tossed out the olive branch by not taking away his company when it was ripe for the plucking.  The ball is in Ethan’s court, and it would be great if these two reconciled.  Kendall and Erica did some pretty nasty stuff to each other over the years, and they managed to come together. 

Speaking of Ethan and his revenge tactics…Its funny how Tad was telling Mimi that Zach had allowed a maniac to run loose by letting everyone think he was Edmund’s killer.  That certainly wasn’t a cooperative thing to do, but would it have mattered if Zach had protested his innocence?  He was there at the scene, had motive, and then there was the “eyewitness.”  It doesn’t seem to me like the cops would have let him go if he simply said he didn’t do it.  It was really Ethan’s insistence that Zach was the murderer that derailed the investigation. 

Now I know why Mimi wanted to be Captain so badly.  When you don’t have any informants left because of your big mouth, your abilities as a police detective are severely limited.  My respect for her dropped to about zero when she broke her promise to Kendall.  It wasn’t like it even served a purpose.  Did she really think it would make Zach cough up more information?   

Dang, Garrett is smooth.  Yeah, I know, too smooth.  He always has the perfect answer to make everyone.  I so wanted him to be legitimately smooth, not evil-motives smooth.  I did catch the part about him being willing to keep secrets from Dani’s mother.  I think that’s supposed to be one of those red flags. 

I am definitely loving Babe’s scheme – so far.  She’s doing a very good job at playing JR.  Kudos to Alexa for the great expressions that flitted across her face as Babe was working it.  And from her comment to her mother, she apparently skeeved herself out by pretending to have latent feelings for JR.  Its going to backfire on her, though.  She’s going to discover that she does have latent feelings for JR.  Babe is totally being set up for a fall.  The more smug you get over a plan, the more it is going to come back and bite you.  Of course, all this could be my wishful thinking and the writers plan to have her scheme work and she walks away without a backward glance.  Big mistake.  Babe and JR are the more interesting story.  But what am I worried about?  Since when does a plan ever come together on a soap? 

 It was funny how Krystal painted the picture about Babe moldering away in the musty mausoleum.  She certainly didn’t have that view of the Chandler mansion when she lived there.  I always enjoy it when every so often, someone reminds Babe or Krystal about the baby switcheroo.  This was the first time that Zach got the opportunity for a dig.  I was bummed that I missed the first part of Babe and Greenlee’s conversation.  I’ll have to catch it in the transcript.  It is always intriguing to see characters mix that are usually way out of each other’s orbits.  

I think I’m going to find the Dragon storyline interesting for that reason – storylines overlapping, characters interacting with many other characters.  Its funny that Tad is now involved with helping Julia, since I’d been thinkng for several weeks now that Tad and Aidan were the perfect people to help Julia.  If it weren’t for the fact that Aidan is still technically involved with Anita, I would be rooting for him to achieve the Santos Hat Trick. 

Its nice to see someone - in this case Krystal - looking rumpled and lacking full makeup when she wakes up.   She and Adam are pretty fun together.  Its just so naughty.  Even more fun was the repartee between JR, Adam and Del at the mansion.  The whole scene was just priceless.  The addition of Tad and Di to the mix was the whip cream on top.  Please, can I have some more? 

Why do people have to have the same arguments over and over again on the soaps?  Erin and Ryan were so repetitive.  I guess that was so we would ignore them and pay attention to Jonathan drawing the demented picture that was later transformed into….an even more demented picture – with rainbows and flowers!  There were some very good scenes at the end of the week for the Laverys.  Did I just say that?  Well, I won’t get my ski lift tickets for Hell just yet. 

Sam doesn’t always get it right, but I feel like he might get it better than some other guys.  I liked the way he smiled when Lily artlessly tried to change the subject away from ghosts.  Also, the scene between him and Julia was very sweet.  Sam was so earnest, Julia so world-weary.  Two opposite ends of the spectrum.  On a fluffy note, I wish that Sam hadn’t cut his hair – I liked it before.  Now I’m too distracted by thinking he looks a little like Clay Aiken. 

We got two Myrtle sightings!  And a Brooke sighting! 

Silly observation of the day:  I was at the gym this morning and realized to my chagrin that the batteries in my CD player had died.  No Journey’s Greatest Hits for me today!  Anyway, I set it aside and watched the TV that plays music videos.  It was playing “Play that Funky Music, White Boy.” – the original, not the Vanilla Ice version.  I’ve been listening to this song for years, always preferred it to the remake.  I knew that Vanilla Ice was white, but I had no idea that the original singer was white, too!  Seriously – the face does not at all match the voice.  Why are you laughing at me?  Quit laughing at me! 

Thanks for reading.

Email Emeraldax

08/27/05 column from Emeraldax

08/20/25 column from Emeraldax