and his name shall be... Ryan Lavery!

Introducing the guest writers who sing for us "when the Muse strikes"

August 27, 2005
By Emeraldax

So the real question with the whole surrogate storyline is whether this is about making Ryan Junior, or if it is really about creating Fusion Junior.  Until Greenlee and Kendall connected over their desire to make a superior cosmetics company to spite Erica, they were sorely lacking in female friendships.  They were both prickly and mistrustful, never letting any other woman into their private world who could possibly stab them in the back.  Yet somehow they managed to form a bond to create Fusion - until their friendship was blown out of the water by the reappearance of Ryan.  They did forge close relationships with other women, but they never really recovered from the break.  Now they are back together, and they have a new secret sisterhood mission: bring Ryan’s baby into the world.  It is certainly no reason to have a child, but it seems somehow slightly less puke-worthy than the deification of Ryan. 

Ignoring for a moment, the motives for having a baby, the really frustrating thing is Greenlee and Kendall’s desire to keep the pregnancy a secret.  It was annoying the first time it happened – when it was Bianca’s pregnancy.  A lot of people were deeply hurt by the great number of lies that were told because of her desire not to tell anyone about it.  Kendall and Greenlee should know more than anyone how that turned out – with Greens ripping off Kendall’s dress in a courtroom.  Just tell people the truth, and give them the one finger salute when they object.  But I guess that is too logical.  So the humiliation of their loved ones has already begun.  Greenlee sneers at Erica because Erica doesn’t understand why she’s acting like the Merry Widow, and then finds a hidden syringe.  So now Dr. Madden has to lie to protect her.  I’ll give credit to Greenlee for acknowledging that Erica was only being concerned about her daughter-in-law, but really it isn’t even necessary.  Same with Greenlee’s guilt over lying to Simone, who has been nothing but supportive of her.  It isn’t necessary.  Also, Kendall is being forced to lie to her husband, and from the look on her face when he left after quizzing her about it, she is no more happy about lying to him than he is about lying to her. 

Speaking of that confrontation (I didn’t expect so many sparks to fly in that scene – should have worn flameproof attire), Zach came extremely close to finding out Kendall’s secret with Greenlee. If she cared more about her secret than she did about Zach, she should be hoping that he is too preoccupied with Julia that he won’t pay attention to what she’s doing.  (And apparently he wasn't too preoccupied, because he certainly found enough time to try and find out what was going on with his wife)  But instead of being glad that he has other stuff on his mind, she is concerned enough for his life to rush right over to Julia that same day to try and buy her off. 

The scenes between Kendall and Julia seemed to clearly be written to cast Kendall in a positive light.  Julia kept trying to push her buttons, commenting that she was the same old selfish Kendall – when viewers know just how far Kendall is willing to go for someone.  Plus it was classic foreshadowing of a burgeoning romance.  Everyone around Kendall keeps commenting about her relationship with her husband, forcing her to keep replying that it is just business.  Cliché stuff, but I’m eating it up with a spoon and a Diet Coke chaser. 

More Zendall gems: After delivering Kendall a much-deserved lecture about her interference, Zach smiled when Kendall left in a huff.  My personal interpretation is that he was thinking, “She’s doing all this scheming and blustering because of ME!”  Also, Kendall told Mimi and Derek that if it comes out that she blabbed about Julia, her life is over.  So why would your life be over, Kendall?  The only one who would really be upset with you is Zach.  So, you don’t want Zach to be upset with you?  Hmmm? 

To say I like Zach a lot would be an understatement.  The flawed hero is so much more flavorful than the smug hero or the antihero.  The last time I was this ga-ga over a character was in the late 80s when I fell in love with Robert Scorpio over on General Hospital.  As a teenager, I suppose I should have been drooling over Frisco, but my heart belonged to Robert.  He wasn’t perfect, he wasn’t even that good looking.  But there was something about him that grabbed me and kept me enthralled.  It hit me the very same way when Zach showed up to frustrate Erica in Las Vegas.  

For months JR talked about wanting to get Jamie away from Skank Babe, but did he perhaps really want to get Babe away from Golden Boy Jamie?  Or both?  Hate is the flip side of love.  JR loved them both deeply and they hurt him deeply.  Their fairy tale devotion to each other infuriated him - not necessarily because they weren’t suffering from his punishment like he thought they deserved, but because their happiness was at his expense.  He couldn’t have the wife he loves because she chose to lie to him and sleep with another man.  He couldn’t have the brother he loves because he was the man she slept with.   

JR finally got what he wanted.  Jamie and Babe broke up.  But why did JR look so devastated?  Because Babe went to such lengths to help Jamie?  Because he hadn’t been the recipient of that kind of love?  I was worried they were going to turn this into a “wow, I’m destroying the road to true love for these two, I feel so bad about that,” sort of thing, but later in the week it was clear that he was glad they were finally done for.  But the revenge was hollow.  He doesn’t get his brother back – Jamie made that clear.  He also won’t get his wife back - or won’t he?  I think I’m actually going to enjoy Babe’s newest scheme. 

For a minute there, I thought Amanda was having another one of her daydreams.  Apparently  not.  Brooke’s going to do the happy dance when she finds out that Jamie dumped Babe.  But now, it looks like her darling son is going to literally jump straight into Amanda’s bed.  I guess now that Jamie has dumped Babe, his new pissing contest with JR will be to see who can be the more embittered Anger Boy.  Poor Brooke - from skank to uber-skank. 

Not having seen any concrete spoilers about Garrett being a bad guy, I was ignoring all the online speculation that he will turn out to be skeevy.  I was hoping not, because he seemed kinda cool.  I liked his deep smooth voice, his smile, his largeness.  Now I guess that isn’t going to happen.  Of course he’s going to turn out to be a perv or something else sinister.  What, Dani’s going to voice her concerns to Simone and Greenlee and then have them not turn out to be true?  I’m disappointed.  I have to wonder, though, if it means I’ll get to see The Shari Headley Glare.  If anyone has seen Coming to America, you know what I’m talking about.  It happens at the party scene when her boyfriend announces to everyone that they are getting married.  She gets this look on her face like her head is going to fly off her body and beat him to death.  

Yeah, I noticed that Garrett was hanging around when Kendall was at the police station and Mimi announced the big break in the Julia case.  I don’t necessarily think he was responsible for the hail of bullets at the end of the episode – didn’t look like he had time to make a phone call. 

I was really exasperated after Thursday’s episode, when it seemed like Erin and Ryan were going to have a contest to see who has the bigger savior complex.  But I guess we’re not going to have to watch them play “Psycho, psycho, who’s got the psycho?” after all.  Whew!  Both of them did have valid points, and they were actually able to get through to each other and maybe even work together.  Whodathunkit?  It really made Friday’s episode more compelling.  Maybe my FF finger won’t get itchy.  Yet. 

On a fluffy note, someone want to explain to me the prolonged parade of ladies getting their red sparkly bags at Fusion?  Was this a group of fans that won an auction, or something?  I hope so, that would be way cool. 

Fun Facts About Emeraldax:  My online name is a morph of my birthstone and the Star Trek character, Jadzia Dax.  I’m 32 years old.  I’m an Army brat.  I live in Virginia.  Okay, so maybe only one of the facts was fun.  I guess.  Feel free to write, y’all, I love feedback!

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08/20/25 column from Emeraldax