Can police just raid a strip joint, round up all the girls and haul them downtown?  I sure hope my taxes are being put to more efficient use.  Maybe Taggert was bored since his nonexistent storyline seems more nonexistent that usual.  AJ played the my-wife-took-a-hike scenes well both at the police station and with Sonny, but Courtney’s I-got-stuck-in-the-elevator excuse reeked of lame.  Kinda like the old dog ate my homework story.  Yeah, yeah honey say it like it is.  “Now, AJ dear, don’t be mad.  But I haven’t been cleaning paper sludge at the bank.  I’ve really been cleaning up at the strip club wearing ugly yellow lingerie and making lots of new friends.  Coleman and Wynona are my new best pals.”  (Tell ‘em Dayna.  Tell ‘em what the fashion police have to say about Daisy’s duds.)  The birthday cake AJ brought out was pretty.  I wouldn’t eat pink cottonballs, but it was pretty.  When AJ presented her with her birthday gift I started yelling at the TV.  “I know what it is!  I know what it is!”  I knew because I saw the Shop Soaps commercial right before she opened the box.  What a way to ruin the surprise. 

Mike played the two against one card against Sonny when he and AJ visited the penthouse searching for Courtney.  He gave Sonny the spiel that he missed most of Courtney’s life and it’s his own fault, but what I heard was,  

“Nony, nony, boo, boo,

Courtney likes me and she doesn’t like yooouuu.”

(You sing the tune.) 

Just have to love that on-going dysfunctional father/son interaction.  Mike might capture my attention if he was allowed to say more than, “Sonny, I know I deserted you, but you are a warped human being who refuses to grow up or forgive, please let me be a part of your life.”  Did I miss anything? 

I award the storyline comedy trophy for this week to the Attic Mystery.  Scotty has visited the attic several times since the storms began rolling through Port Charles whenever Laura’s scenes played.  Was there EVER a huge lump under a rug with empty chests piled on top in the middle of the floor on previous visits?   The last time he checked in the fire damage had disappeared, pristine curtains swayed gently at the window and pictures hung on the walls.  DuhScotty!  The lump, the lump, look at the heaping dead lump on the floor!   

I also chuckled when Lucky and Nicholas decided to “hide” the body in the freezer.  Again.  I blame the writers for this.  What, they had a brain burp that day and forgot they already hid a body in the freezer?  They couldn’t come up with anything new?  So Nicholas calls Wyndemere for the launch and gives the staff the evening off.  Do they immediately vacate the island?  Later Nick asked Lucky if there were any microscopic particles of blood left in the attic.  Excuse me, if they were microscopic, Lucky wouldn’t know they were there. 

Why didn’t Nicholas just lay down dead Dr. Rick while Lucky distracted Scott on the pier?  Watching that scene I decided that a comedy routine just isn’t in Coltin Scott’s future.   He can passionately kiss Gia in the stable or in front of a fireplace (and look really good doing it), he can lounge gracefully on a couch looking rich, his arrogance is an art form, and angst seems to be his forte but comedy just doesn’t fly. 

And speaking of comedy, or lack of, I’d like to advocate a new position for an intrepid soul who feels sorry for the easily freaked.  We need the Freak Police to e-mail those of us who don’t deal well with the creepy, the unexpected or bloody so that we will be forewarned when ghostly girls in bloody dresses or dead, talking, gory-head-wound doctors are going to loom over a bed.  I saw the previews.  I knew it was coming.  Didn’t help.  When Lucky rolled over and spotted fish bait Rick looming over him, I admit to a scared gasp. 

Map, map who’s got the map?  Roy steals the map from Jax for Alcazar but turns over only a half map.  Brenda-D’s body and hands steal the half map from Alcazar.  She sends it to Jax.  Skye planned to steal the map for Edward.  She had the combination - you snooze, you lose, girlfriend.  Roy trades the other half map to Alcazar for cash.  So in the end Alcazar holds half and Jax holds the other half.  Apparently there is only one map on this planet of the oil field drilling sites.  For a top-secret operation, a lot of people know that the Jacks clan is planning to drill for oil in Canada.  Even I know it and Jax usually doesn’t interest me.  I apologize right now to any Jax fans.  I am awaiting the unveiling of Brenda to see if Jax can do something more than spout trite pearls of wisdom, make sweeping judgments, and play rubbadub Skye.  When he adored Brenda and when he married Alexis, I liked him.  I didn’t have anything against him until he befriended Carly to save her from Sonny (oh, please), and then started swapping DNA with Skye.  He changed from an intelligent, studly, business opportunist to a beefcake playing pattycake with a poptart.     

Skye and Edward swept me along with them when Skye asked Edward to put aside that pesky (totally nonbinding) contract so she could be free to love and support Jax.  Just when I think I have ‘em pegged they show some decency and humanity so I am forced to grant them some redeeming qualities.  I hate when that happens.  Skye, a woman one eavesdrop away from self-destruct, made me believe that she possesses a sliver of vulnerability.  She just wants to be loved by Jax, by her Grandfather.  (I fall for this stuff every time.)  My head says it’ll last maybe ten minutes.  My foolish emotional self is rooting that she’ll rise above the tragedy about to strike (Edward’s heart attack, the contract revealed, Jax’s rejection, and Brenda).  Addendum:  (I wrote this paragraph on Thursday.)  And so the self-destruct begins – both Edward and Skye.  I always feel so betrayed by Edward who occasionally manages a loving moment and then turns ruthless in a heartbeat.   Apparently, he’s used one ruthless heartbeat too many if today portends his future. 

Just a few passing thoughts… 

Drum roll and eye roll for the kiss between Jason and Liz.  So much build up, so little kiss.  And I am totally bummed that the shirt stayed firmly in place.  Frustrated sigh! 

Snarly Carly stood at Alexis’ door twice and explained to Alexis how evil she was for hurting Sonny.  I kept telling Alexis, “Close the door.  Just this once don’t let her have the last word.”  Of course, Alexis didn’t slam the door or have the last word.  There is hope that Jason will make Carly pay for her wicked mouthy ways for tormenting Liz, but I’m not taking any bets.   

When do we see Brenda’s face?   

If Gia ever keels over from poison Taggert and Capelli better check Mrs. Lansbury’s alibi.  After Gia’s bratty, disrespectful privacy tirade at Mrs. Lansbury she deserves it.    

The scene as Lucky took a dive over the cliff was….dramatic.  (I am such a sucker for emotional manipulation.  Just play the scary music, I’m scared.  Do the slo-mo, I’m filled with fear or suspense.  Throw in a puppy or kid, I’m smiling.) 

So nice to see the Dr.’s Quartermaine.  They love, hate, laugh, and belittle each other, usually all in the same scene.  Since I’ve been watching GH neither of them has tried to kill the other, but I’m waiting.   

Is anyone else having trouble making the transition from AJ “the Weasel” Q to AJ- tough-guy-dock-worker who threatens Coleman? 

When Sonny turned around and glanced at the stripper then recognized Courtney, I felt the zing.  His shock and horror were obvious as he sank lower in his seat.  Maurice Bernard does that expression that really isn’t an expression so well!  It’s an eye thing. 

One last note - kudos to GH for accuracy.  I checked with my Dad, a real attorney,  and he told me that the way in which Scotty obtained Lucky, Nicholas and Gia’s fingerprints was acceptably legal.  He also informed me that fingerprints might be obtainable from a car in a lake if it wasn’t in the water too long.   Then, getting worried, he asked what my questions pertained to and I had to ‘fess up that it happened on General Hospital.  Can you believe he laughed?  Go figure. 

Thanks for letting me ramble, rant, and rave.  Thanks for reading.  Kathy



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