Things Teachers Would Like to Put On Report Cards
1. Since my last report,
your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this
student to breed.
3. This student has
delusions of adequacy.
4. This student is
depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
5. The student sets low
personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a
"full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. Student has been
working with glue too much.
8. When the student's IQ
reaches 50, he/she should sell.
9. Gates are down, lights
are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
10. If this student were
any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
11. It's hard to believe
the sperm that created this student beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.