By Officer Dayna

So, you're wondering what I'm doing over in Llanview and what makes me think I have the credentials to investigate another officer of the law?  Oh, wait.  Lucky Spencer is an officer of the law too and I investigated him.  Hmm.  You probably weren't wondering that at all but I'll tell ya that I sometimes I show up for my patrols a bit early and write all manner of fashion citations in Llanview.  Blair is a regular recipient - she paid for my new Toyota Prius cruiser  (cuz this district has some kind of limit on its' gas budget...I mean, dayum!) last week alone with the repeated exposure of a dreaded pinstriped, hooker tight pantsuit.  Why does Blair need a pantsuit?  Is she a lawyer?  I have to check the books, but I'm sure there's some soap law that says you need to be a lawyer in order to wear a pinstriped pantsuit.   

So, yes...Llanview.  Most recently, I did arrive there to shine my spotlight on Johnny Law McBain.  Call it...internal affairs.   

John McBain is every boy that I ever fell for.  He broods, he may or may not be as into me as I am to him...and he'll surely keep me guessing as to yay he is..or nay he ain't... for a.very.long.time (if I'm willing to hang around for it).  And then there's that damnable sexy long hair.  I'm certain there's some psychiatry behind my forever attraction to the brooder - he who cultivates prettier hair than me and goes hot/cold like a motel shower.  Don't worry 'bout me though...I ended up landing one who did indeed stay hot ;) and the dating behavior ended a loong time ago.. but not so long that I don't immediately recognize John McBain as so classically my *type*.  I'm drawn to his story like a teenage girl to the lead singer.  Sorry...more shades from my past.   

John with his savior complex for Natalie Buchanan.  Oh, I've been the Natalie.  The guy is pure temptation for her.  She's drawn to that edge and that depth, and uses her arsenal of charm and sex appeal to show him she's preferable to the girl that he picked instead.  She's a little wild, not without baggage and emotionally...pfft, pure wreckage - he's probably way wise to stick with contestant #1, but oh...there's something about that redhead that keeps him coming back for more.  She knows it, he knows it...what happens from there all depends.  With Natalie, it was drama after drama that required police assistance, lol.  Being the savior came easy to John, what with all the guilt he carries around from his deep, dark past.  Those rescue scenes were delightful soapery and what other way was that gonna end besides in bed after he obtains her notdead ex (?)-husband's reluctant blessing from prison?  John and Nat got all crazy sexy together and the scenes have been pretty hawt so in all, I'm glad for Natalie - she was nothing if not persistent. 

On the flip side of all things nekkie JoLie (that's their smushed together name, Natalie and John), there's Evangeline.   Oh, let me just tell you HOW I've been the Evangeline. Sisters, sit down and stay a while!  The poor girl spent how long feeling like she was being played by the playa.  Heartache ensues, but of course she lets her guard down, falls in love with the uninvested shmuck and ends up frickin' miserable in a relationship that's only mildly satisfying.  More than satisfying on one level (they had some hot sex scenes too...Michael Easton just works it and how), but utterly terminal on many others.  He cares, he thinks she's a real swell girl, but he can't say that it's love.  And she's just nobody's fool for too, too long. *le sigh*   

Damn JohnMcBain.  Michael Easton has such a presence on camera with the hair, the eyes, the voice... I just spent some time at his website and good grief, he's Irish too. And writes poetry! I think I have a new celebrity boyfriend.  :)  His prior work on Port Charles compelled me to the show when I couldn't maintain interest in it otherwise.  I was one of the GH diehards who just looked on bewilderedly at Port Charles.  But see, along with the Irish and the Brooders, I've a real thang for vampires; my Anne Rice addiction having started at a compromisingly young age.  Suffice it to say that Mr. Easton as Caleb drew me in from time to time and I was definitely interested when he signed on with OLTL.  John McBain has been a solid addition to Llanview's community and has managed to develop some interesting ties.  I roll my eyes every time I have to look at daggone Al Holden pretending to be his brother but other than that, he's carved quite a niche next to Bo over at the station.  And he's not Antonio, which is always a plus!  I have a history of tiring with Buchanan dramas - Erika Slezak is divine but I can take exactly NO MORE of the split personality bidness and especially with Tessica at the wheel.  Marcie makes me reach for the olive forks anymore, ditto Bo, Nora, Paige and their kid...well, I guess it's not Paige's kid, but they all drive me crazy.  Can't stand Evangeline's creepy sister and  Blair/Todd/Margaret and the thought of any rape therein is shudder inducing.  Love Dorian etc., but it's dear John who keeps me hurrying to get things done in my house by 2:00 so I can hit the couch for One Life.  I'll be the one nodding knowingly when Evangeline gets a glimpse of Cristian Vega all alive and stuff.  She'll be all, "Oh!  Round 4, bitches!!"   

I see John's character staying around until Michael Easton is ready to skip the paycheck to pursue other avenues beyond soaps.  In fact, if OLTL had dumber writers, I'll go so far as to say that he could be their Sonny.  McBainapolooza, even.  He gets plenty of action without having to go all scene greedy though and it's a feather in the Llanview cap to see that they utilize their ensemble cast extensively, even with a fine (either meaning) and charistmatic actor like Easton on board.  I also love that One Life has the ability to maintain varied front-burner stories.  But have I mentioned that Blair/Todd/Margaret just grosses me out?  I have to close my eyes, clap my hands over my ears and sing Hollaback Girl.  Well, I don't *have* to, but I did today.   

Back into the Prius now and it looks like I'm gonna have to use the lights...  Running a little late for a routine check on Reese over at General Hospital.  Last week I had to call in the SWAT team to rescue her from her clothing.