August 5, 2003
A Whore On Every Corner 

Since the word “whore” has been bandied about on “General Hospital” so much lately, in regards to Faith, I couldn’t help noticing how many whores there actually are on this show. 

First there is the obvious whore, Bobbie.  Unlike the recently retired (and recently departed) hooker, Summer, Bobbie is a long-ago retired prostitute who turned her life around for the better many years ago.  Bobbie is actually one of the few females on this show who isn’t currently living her life as a whore.  

The biggest whore on this show is Carly.  She sits around the penthouse all day, like a concubine-in-waiting, Sonny comes home then they go upstairs to screw or she gets sent to her room, presumably to be screwed later.  She has no hobbies we, the viewers, have been let in on.  I do not count The Cellar as a career or hobby for Carly as she is never there anymore, since well before she was kidnapped, and the place was rarely mentioned even then.  The Cellar was like some kind of Whore Gift her john, er, husband, gave to her.  In the way a “kept” mistress might periodically receive jewelry, Carly periodically receives business endeavors, none of which seem to actually hold her interest for more than a month or two.   

Carly does not qualify as a stay-at-home mother because I have yet to see her doing any sort of work at home, except for that one time her and Little Michael sat on the living room couch and sorted socks.  Being any kind of mother, be it a working one or a stay-at-home one, is incredibly hard work and, in my opinion, the most sacred and important job in the world.  Having Leticia practically raising Little Michael certainly doesn’t seem to present Carly with very much difficulty.  Yes, I can acknowledge that it probably isn’t unusual for a rich man to provide his wife with a nanny for their one, mostly well-behaved child.  However, as with real-life, rich people who do the same thing, I have no respect for the spoiled parents who basically abandon the care and raising of their children to a nanny.  A part-time nanny is one thing, but to have a full-time nanny around when there is only one child and the mother is apparently doing nothing else is overkill.  I suspect Leticia’s constant presence in Michael’s life serves one purpose:  to free Carly up to be a ‘round-the-clock-whore for Sonny. 

Any lingering doubts I had about Carly being a whore were dispelled when Sonny visited his kidnapped and captive wife aboard Lorenzo Alcazar’s yacht.  They embraced and kissed, which was totally reasonable, but then I would have expected Carly to start asking Sonny when he was going to finally get her the hell out of there, followed by some comforting in the form of hugging and maybe more kissing.  Instead, they headed straight to the bed because I guess they couldn’t contain their horniness for each other even though, for all they knew, there could be hidden microphones and cameras in that room and, oh yeah, there’s the whole potential for mortal danger thing, too and the fact that anyone could walk in there at any moment.  That sealed it for me:  Carly’s a whore.  Even under the threat of death, she is willing to spread her legs in the face of danger, come hell or high water and apparently her john of a husband fully expects her to do so.  He definitely wants his money’s worth.  I don’t blame him.  I’ll bet good whores are hard to find. 

Moving on, I see Courtney as a whore as well.  Carly is her mentor and so far, Courtney seems to be doing her proud, so to speak.  Courtney, like Carly, used to have a legitimate job, that is until a man came along to pull her out of that pit of self-sufficiency, liberating her into the chains of whoredom.  Now Courtney also spends her days sitting around the penthouse waiting for her master, Jason, to return home and sex her up.  Fortunately, unlike Sonny and Carly, I haven’t had to endure a lot of suck-face, love scenes between Courtney and Jason. 

I don’t feel bad for Courtney.  She apparently wants to be the whore she’s become.  When she was married to A.J., they were poor and she actually had to work, going so far as to take a job stripping to save her husband’s ass.  We are supposed to believe she had too much pride to borrow the money from Sonny, so instead, she made the pride-filled decision to take all her clothes off in front of strange men for money every night.  Right.  Courtney is a natural-born whore.  No wonder she was in bed with her husband’s brother months before her divorce was finalized.  She knew Jason was her ticket to being a whore 24/7. 

Poor Leticia.  When the breeding finally begins for Jason and Courtney, Leticia will probably be saddled with their kid, too.  Then Carly and Courtney can lounge around all day together, pretending they are mothers and waiting to screw their husbands when they get home from doing heroic deeds all day. 

If only Miss Kitty could have had it so good. 

Skye is also a whore.  She found out several months ago that she isn’t a Quartermaine after all, yet she continues to live in the Quartermaine mansion.  It’s nice that the family still accepts her as “one of them,” but I think I would have moved out as soon as the truth was revealed.  Actually, I probably would never have moved in.  Skye staying in the Q mansion seemed a little lazy on her part, but her status as the resident whore was obvious when she began having sex with Ned, a man whom she thought was her cousin for the past two years.  I guess a girl’s gotta earn her keep. 

And to think Skye used to be a very savvy and successful businesswoman in her own right.  Whew!  Lucky for her she doesn’t have to actually do any work anymore, not that she ever had to in the first place since she is rich anyway.  She loves being a whore so much that she doesn’t even do it for money!  In fact, I guess she’s whoring for possession of little, Baby Kristina.  Once she finds out Ned isn’t the father, or he suddenly has no say in Kristina’s future, I wonder who she’ll have to go down on then to get the kid?  Alexis maybe?  You never know.  ABC allows women to smooch each other now and GH has already taken full advantage of that twice; once when Faith gave Courtney a “kiss of death” and then when Big Alice laid a wet one on Alexis while she was in her Dobson disguise.  Who knows what lips will meet next?  Or whose lips. 

Lydia is our newest whore.  Lucky has called her that at least once and Nikolas keeps implying it by acting like she has somehow sucked him into her Whore Web of Deception.  The way I see it, Lydia AND Nikolas do not love each other, have knowingly married each other for money and for no other reason.  They are both whores.  Lydia isn’t fully accepting of her whore position yet and judging by Nik’s holier-than-thou attitude lately, he’s in complete denial of his.  Nik is helping Lydia out though by putting her through some whore brainwashing.  See, Nik was only too happy to have sex with Lydia a week or so ago, but now he acts like he’s too good to touch the likes of her.  It might take a while, but I’m sure Lydia will accept her place as a Cassadine whore before too long, she just needs to be humiliated for a little while longer. 

You can always tell what woman is about to become a whore on GH.  They always have to go through massive amounts of humiliation at the hands of men first.  You know, learn their place.  With Carly, she endured months of verbal abuse from Sonny before she finally became his bitch on a leash.  Courtney had to strip and Skye was abandoned by her lying, selfish, son-of-a-bitch of a husband, Jax.  Then she had to suffer months of verbal abuse from him every time she saw him as she lost her hard-earned sobriety and began drinking herself into oblivion.  Now Ned shakes his head and wags his finger at her, speaking to her as if she’s a naughty child.  Lydia is definitely on her way to being a willing whore if the derogatory remarks and disgusting expressions being aimed at her by Nik and Stefan are any indication.  I’d like to say Lucky treats her better, but in many ways he’s worse.  He says wonderful, supportive things to her then starts groping her and sticking his tongue in her mouth.  His whore brainwashing techniques aren’t very subtle, but they appear to be working.  Lydia now seems to be very accepting of Lucky’s tongue.  Nik had better jump into the fray or else he’s going to lose a good whore to his brother. 

Maxie is the show’s youngest whore.  She took the fast track to Whoresville.  One day, she was our beloved, innocent, little Maxie, then the next day she fell for Kyle, a guy from school, hopped into bed with him, was totally humiliated when the footage of their romp was sent out over the Internet on purpose by Kyle and his friends, and now she exists to do his bidding.  While, unlike the other whores mentioned so far, she does work in the form of volunteering at the hospital, that was Kyle’s idea so she could steal drugs for him, so it doesn’t exactly reek of independence on her part.  I have no doubt that she’ll cave, eventually, and try to steal for her man, just like a good, little whore should. 

As far as future whores are concerned, I am sure Alexis must certainly be one.  This woman has undergone no end of humiliation for about 8 or 9 months now.  I’ll bet she’s going to be one hell of a whore if the length of her “breaking-in” period is any indication.  She was once the best role model of a female on this show.  She was an extremely intelligent, independent and fun-loving lady, but now she is the polar opposite of all those things.  She is so close to being a whore, it’s unreal.  Alexis is a cock tease and that’s only about one step away from being a whore.  Alexis has cock teased Cameron for months now and if she wasn’t related to him, I’m sure she’d be shaking her moneymaker at Stefan by now as well.  Now that I think about it, the writers at GH seem to have such hatred for the character of Alexis that I’ll bet she won’t even get to be a good whore.  She’ll probably be the only celibate whore on the show; going through all the motions but getting absolutely no play.  I think Stefan, her half-brother, will be her non-sexual john.  She has already turned to him for help in getting custody of Kristina away from the Quartermaines, so I suspect he’ll be a typical Cassadine and take over everything, including the baby.  This will cause Alexis to have to suck up to him royally, thus making her his celibate whore. 

And another great lady figuratively bites the dust. 

Emily is also a cock tease and one step away from being a whore.  She has been stroking Nik on one street corner while whacking off Zander on another, so you could definitely say she’s had her hands full.  I think we still have a lot of time before Emily finally chooses a pimp daddy and becomes his whore because she hasn’t been humiliated in the least yet.  I’m thinking next year may be when Emily finally blossoms and finds her inner whore.  Meanwhile GH viewers, don’t keep telling yourselves that’s lip-gloss that she’s wearing. 

There are some women on the show who have, thus far, avoided whoredom under the show’s current writing regime.  Bobbie and Monica are the most self-sufficient and independent women on the show.  Bobbie is the Head Nurse at the hospital, part owner of a diner and rents rooms at her brownstone.  Well, I guess she still rents rooms at the brownstone.  I’m not sure since we rarely even see her anymore, much less her home.  Monica is a skilled surgeon and is definitely the one in charge in her marriage.  We get to see very little of her marriage to Alan, so I’m just assuming things are still pretty much the same on that front. 

You see, these ladies are “older” so we aren’t supposed to have any interest in them or see them as sexual people anymore.  In other words, I think the message from the show’s writers to female viewers over 35 goes something like this:  “Screw you all.  You are worthless and of no value to us.” 

Elizabeth has also escaped a whore’s life (so far).  She has worked as a waitress on the show for years now, stopping only to work as an artist for the gallery showing her psycho hubby bought for her.  Now, she’s back to waiting tables.  Since she’s nearly been killed several times and was made to look like a complete moron when she couldn’t see the obvious signs that her husband was up to no good when he kidnapped Carly, I’m sure her life as a whore will begin fairly soon.  I guess being made to look totally stupid qualifies as humiliation to some degree.  Like Emily though, I don’t see Liz becoming a whore too quickly.  She probably has a couple of months left to be an independently functioning human being. 

I can’t really say if Lila isn’t a whore or is just an old whore.  I don’t know enough about her days before Edward or her first 35 years or so with him.  I  guess she could be either.  I prefer to think of her as a non-whore. 

Georgie isn’t a whore yet.  Give her time.  I’m sure she’ll be humiliated and shackled to some guy’s bed eventually, unless we get new writers. 

Gia was almost Zander’s whore, but he doesn’t really want her, he wants Emily.  Gia has supposedly walked away from Zander, refusing to play second fiddle, but I suspect she’ll end up being humiliated and used if she sticks around.  I guess the humiliation part has already started.  I’m sure it must be pretty degrading to be an unwanted future whore.  Just ask Faith.  She’s definitely a whore for hire and she can’t find anyone who even wants her.  Even with one humiliation after the other potential johns have cast her aside.  Faith does have the unfortunate distinction of being the show’s only psycho whore, so I’m sure that doesn’t help when it comes to securing a master. 

Does all this whore business seem extreme?  I guess it is, but I couldn’t resist.  The difference between the men and the women on this show is so misogynistic and old-fashioned that I truly am at a loss as to why more female viewers aren’t flooding the ABC offices with snail mail to complain about it.  Maybe the ABC offices are being flooded with bitchy snail mails and “The Powers That Be” at GH just choose to ignore them.  I don’t know.  I do know I personally am tired of the men of GH being so exalted while the women are made to be so stupid, dependant and slutty with no visible means to support themselves and no vim or vigor to want to make something out of their lives. 

If anyone thinks there is no difference between the men and what they “do,” versus the women and what they “do,” one only has to do a quick review in their minds to see how unbalanced the scales of career and independence are. 

Ned, A.J. and Edward all work at ELQ and, I assume, Ned still owns that recording label. 

Scotty is the District Attorney. 

Mac is the Chief of Police. 

Luke is part owner of a diner and owns his own blues club/bar. 

Lucky has enrolled in the police academy. 

Sonny and Jason are self-employed, professional criminals. 

Cameron is a psychiatrist. 

Alan is a doctor and Chief of Staff at General Hospital. 

Ric is an attorney. 

Lucas works as a bus boy/dishwasher at the diner (one of the last times we saw him). 

Jax is a corporate raider/entrepreneur. 

Zander works for Ned (the last time anything Zander does was mentioned, months ago). 

Stefan and Nik spend all their time, presumably, overseeing various Cassadine business interests and just feeling important in general. 

Lorenzo Alcazar is a self-employed drug dealer. 

Dillon has been employed for errands twice now by Lorenzo Alcazar.  Otherwise, he is unemployed. 

Kyle is unemployed. 

Mike is unemployed, as far as I know. 

Okay, out of 21 men of legal working age, there are only 3 who are unemployed.  Now let’s look at the ladies.

Bobbie and Monica work at the hospital.  As I mentioned before, Bobbie is also the part owner of a diner. 

Elizabeth is a waitress. 

Carly, despite “technically” owning The Cellar, is unemployed in my opinion, for reasons previously stated. 

Courtney is unemployed. 

Skye is unemployed. 

Alexis is unemployed. 

Felicia, still a character on the canvas though she hasn’t been seen since winter, is unemployed. 

Gia is unemployed. 

Lydia is unemployed. 

Emily is unemployed. 

Faith is unemployed. 

Georgie and Maxie have been seen volunteering as candy stripers and I think Georgie has been shown, once or twice, working at the diner.  If that’s correct, then Georgie is employed, but Maxie is not. 

(Lila and Audrey are retired and rarely seen, so I am not including them in the count.) 

Out of 14 women of legal working age, only 4 are employed, 10 are not. 

So 71 percent of the women are unemployed, yet only 14 percent of the men have no job.  What the hell?  No wonder it seems to me that most of the women are lazy whores.  And before any stay-at-home moms think I’m calling them lazy whores then please realize that, in my opinion, Carly and Felicia must be two of the worst mothers in the history of soaps and in no way do either one of them reflect real life mothers accurately.  Carly just turns her kid over to a nanny and Felicia isn’t even in the same state as her kids.  So, no, I don’t think either one of them can use “stay-at-home-mom” as a reason for doing absolutely nothing with their lives.  Real stay-at-home-moms work their asses off. 

Is it too much to ask that Skye have a place of her own and that she gets a job, apart from the Quartermaines or Jax, in the corporate world?  Am I silly for missing brilliant Alexis, Attorney at Law?  I long for the days when Carly was starting Club 101 and was working there mostly on her own.  There was no Sonny to barge in screaming that he owned the place and had bought everything in it.  Can’t Gia please be a model again or an intern in a law office or something?  Why can’t Courtney at least go to college and work part-time in a boutique?  Also, it would be nice to find out that Lydia actually has a degree in something useful and that she is seriously brainy.  I think Nikolas would be totally shocked to see Lydia, as rich as she is again now, go out and have a career anyway.  I would love to see that. 

Why can’t all these wonderful women of Port Charles aspire to be anything other than connected to some man?  What happened to role models, smart ladies and independence?  Is this supposed to reflect some dream “The Powers That Be” think the young, most desired demographic have to be kept women with no ambition and no minds of their own? 

There was a time when I admired many of the female characters on GH, but not anymore.  Most of them are no longer women I can identify with in any way and they certainly aren’t women I’d want to be. 

There’s nothing special about being lazy.  There’s nothing special about being a whore.  There’s definitely nothing special about being a lazy whore, so I guess the women of Port Charles have become just that:  nothing special.