November 22, 2004
(a longish load time)

Cluttered much?  Oh well, I'm not afraid of a little "busy," as my mom would say.  You might be looking at this wondering if there is any actual soapy talk coming and I am pleased to say that why yes, there is.  I'm still stretching my legs in the somewhat new digs, playing with colors and graphics and such, so bear with me as we go through a change or two.

As it says above, Happy Thanksgiving!!  I hope all of you are blessed to spend that special day with someone you love or at least like.  If things have been bad, see if you can dig into the memories far enough to find some time from when you DID like the person and enjoy some warmth and joy in the day.

I've finally put to peace my uneasiness over not spending the holidays with my family.  I could if I wanted to travel a good deal and work through some of the uneasiness, but I got my fill of that at Halloween, so I am staying home with Colin, who is a gourmet cook and having a few friends come over.  I am also quite a good cook, so we'll get up early and start cooking.  He was making noise about frying the turkey (wtf?) in peanut oil or something.  I am fairly protective of my turkeyness, so it had best not suck and still taste something remotely like turkey when he's done with it.

Child please, know if you know nothing else, that Sage LOVES to eat.  I love to eat and I love to drink.  Taste is my favorite of all senses.  I could get by with losing any of my other ones (sure it would suck, but I'd survive) but if the pleasure of sensory tasting were lost, I'd probably off myself.  Garlic cheesy mashed tatoes, stuffing jammed up inside the bird (which I'm guessing won't happen this time unless we're frying the stuffing too), homemade bread dripping with real butter, real gravy made from the turkey grease with bits of turkey chopped up inside and sage and thyme through it, pumpkin pies, apple crisp, green bean casserole, hot buttered corn on the cob... I could hurt myself.

Looks like the Sesame Street crew likes to eat too.  LOL!

In my folder for so long I can't
remember where I got it.


(click on the small cartoons to make them bigger) This one has always made me laugh because every time I have prepared a turkey, I've gotten some kind of gynecological flash.  Strange.  I wonder if a speculum would actually feel warm to a turkey who just came out of the fridge (Hey, I have sisters and they TALK!  I know your little woman secrets!)  I also refuse to put those funky little paper feet on my turkeys.  There's just something macabre and sick about that.

But then, I think it's fairly macabre and sick to carve into a suckling (as in it was still nursing mama when they kilt it) pig with his little head still attached and a big stupid apple crammed into his mouth.  What sadistic bastard thought THAT one up?


The above cartoon is kind of a not-so-funny thought.  Fortunately, at my house, no one was particularly into sports, so we all pitched in and cooked, ate and cleaned.  I know some of your ladies are likely feeling the burn on that one, though.


I think this is what happens with Thanksgiving turkeys have big brothers (or you live next to a nuclear waste depository).

Most of all for this thanksgiving, I want to give thanks for all of you folks.  I'm grateful for those who wrote to wish me well this past week and for all those who didn't write, but still hold good thoughts. 

It has been a joy to be re-immersed in the love and friendship that is the cornerstone of Eye on Soaps and to remember who I am writing for and what it is specifically about writing that really makes me happy.  Thanks to everyone for that.  You're a blessing in my heart and I promise to remember that every day and not just on Turkey Thursday.  Now, on with the soaps...

And this part most assuredly is soap related because one of the finest, most fun, most intelligent ABC soap opera (and off topic) columnists to ever hit EOS (and a few other sites, like Soap Zone, and Soaptown USA), Carol Banks Weber (Coggie) is 40 today!!

Ah yes, I remember when I turned 40 all those years ago!!  This gal is my #1 cohort, my partner-in-crime, my common sense and my conscience all rolled into one.  I love her to pieces and wish her the happiest birthday ever!!

I happened to come across Coggie out celebrating last night, in fact:

You go girl!

December 16th is the date at last released for the airing of the 9000th episode of AMC.  At the cast celebration, actors were given cardboard signs to hold with a number representing the total number of shows that have aired since they debuted their character.  Susan Lucci and Ray MacDonald held the only 9000's in the bunch.  The third would have gone to Ruth Warrick, who's very fragile health left her unable to attend the festivities.  The smallest number went to James Scott, who plays Ethan Ramsey.  Scott, at the time of the party, held an 88.  As a special surprise, AMC creator, Agnes Nixon will appear in the December 16th episode.

The famous AMC photo album has been used in the opening credits in various forms since its debut in 1970.  The first page of the photo album reads:

The great and the least
The weak and the strong
The rich and the poor
In sickness and health
In joy and sorrow
In tragedy and triumph
You are All My Children

Like the other ABC soaps, it started out as a 30 minute show, expanding to a full hour in April of 1977.  Of interest is that if you were to view the 9000 episodes of AMC from the first to the most recent, one right after another, 24/7 of nonstop AMC, it would take you just under a year to watch it all.  No nodding off now!  (Especially during the riveting Kit Fisher parts!

Of course, one of the main foci (Did you know that is a word?  Click on it for your "word of the day.") of AMC through the years has been La Lucci.  To that end, I present you with ERICAPALOOZA!!  (<---clickity click click click)  I do this in honor of my sweet Cynical Kate's (second) favorite narcissist. 

FINALLY, Bianca will learn the truth about her baby and believe it.  As we suspected, she gets pissed at the whole world, EXCEPT Babe.  She'll finally get custody in the vicinity of December 8th.  Erica and Jackson will likely actually make it down the aisle this time.  Look for some chaos around their family Thanksgiving Dinner this week.

As you may have projected, ultimately, Tad and Krystal are done and David and Krystal will soon be tossing clothes and doing a little chandelier swinging of their own.

Also done in that "put a fork in it" way are Maria and Edmund, but Maria is surprised to find that when she warms up to him, he backs off.

No SORAS for Sam, Edmund and Maria's son. He'll be in the attic with Bobby for a while.

In case you've missed the signs, Greenlee isn't crazy.  She's being poisoned.  Not much of a reach to figure out by whom...

Two friendships find a new level:  Maggie and Bianca will pick up speed (and possibly steam) again.  Kendall and Greenlee will actually repair their trainwreck of a friendship as well.

Rumor is that while Julia Barr may be back-seating in a recurring role status, her daughter will be recast and brought on in a big way.  Supposedly, Laura Allen, who last played Laura, is busy with mainstream work (she is in the new TV series, "Samantha" and a new film called "Sweet William," starring Frank Langella) to reprise the role.  Bobby may exit again, as well as JR and Jonathan.  Buh-bye.

Despite lying back and forth to cover for one another, Jennifer and Lindsay evidently had nothing to do with Paul's murder.  In fact, at this point, it seems no one on or off screen has a clue who killed Paul.  There has been a bit of grumbling from the cast about not knowing how to play certain scenes. 

Change over in head writers always creates a strong sense of instability, but new Head Scribe, Dena Higley (of Days of Our Lives) has a plan for OLTL and all systems are falling into place.  Although she officially took over on October 18th, but we won't see her work until December 17th.  One of her first dictates:  Down with the Love House!  That being the case, comes now the uncasting of  Daneel Harris (Shannon).  She'll be gone by December 2nd.  Not only Shannon, but a few others will be quietly fading away. 

Next point of business was to dump the horrible Santi story, which she brought into play even before she even started officially writing.    To make sure it takes, OLTL will be supposedly experiencing in the near future a shooting, a stabbing and a murder.  Personally, I hope they are all inflicted on Tico.  We do know that he dies in a hail of gunfire, which can't happen fast enough for me.  Like Ms Higley, I definitely can't wait for that turkey of story to be over.  If she can write as well as she can axe stories, she could turn out to be my hero. 

Rumors are that one of her goals is to bring back some favorite faces from the past, beginning with Tina Lord Roberts (Cuh-razy Margaret's return was not one of them... that was planned before her arrival and will likely meet with a hasty departure).  There is a strong focus on the Lords coming up with the supposed split-personality story for one of Viki's daughters, most likely Jessica.  The idea is to pin Paul's murder on her and then have her beat the charges on an insanity plea.  Natalie is the daughter who would most benefit from two selves, to divide between the two fine men who will be competing for her affections, John and Cristian.  I'm thinking ultimately, Cristian will be the one to win out unless David Fumero decides to leave when his temporary gig is up, rather than take the option to stick around.  I think powers that be are carefully watching the reaction to the Natalie-Cristian reconnect to see if it is a hit.  David Fumero indicated that the couple is the story, which is why Cris STILL, a week later (in our time) hasn't bothered to tell his Mami that rumors of his demise are greatly exaggerated.

There have been 5 actresses who have played Tina Clayton Lord Roberts Roberts Roberts Rogan Vickers since she debuted in 1978 (then played by Andrea Evans of "Passions").  The returning Tina would be the 5th and most recent Tina, Krista Tesreau.  It is unknown whether or not she will be resuming her aborted romance with the man she thought to be her brother, David Vickers.  I hated that story, but anything would be better than Kelly.  Of course, my prime choice is the uninterrupted romance between David and Dorian, which makes much more sense to me than any other couple in ABC daytime.

Is Daniel Colson what he seems?  The Nora-Bo pending reconnect might well get a boost when Bo finds out something about Daniel that Daniel would just as soon not become public (or Nora) knowledge.

Watch for lots more comings and goings and goings and comings (and always too soon!...Blazing Saddles) in the next few months...



Not so with General Hospital, which will continue to drone on and on and on with a good bit of the same ol' same ol'.  If you thought Sonny was persecuted before, just look out!  With Maurice Benard signing a fat contract, writers were free to write long term for their favorite mobster without needing contingency plans for his exit.  As a result, look for a completely different outcome of his arrest and some fall out from the experience that could actually be unexpected.  This is one man who is absolutely determined to get custody of his daughter, at any cost!

Love or hate the Kristina story, most objective viewers agree that Nancy Lee Grahn, Rick Hearst, Maurice Benard, Tamara Braun, Kelly Monaco and Steve Burton all stepped up to the plate and knocked it out of the ballpark with the material they were given.  I think they smelled the gold of of the Emmy and went for it, much to their credit.  Each individual fan base was crowing with pride over the performances of their special anointed one and rightly so.  Although the story pretty much blew and had more holes than your gramma's underwear, it's hard to deny that the stars came through with flying colors.

The Connor story was definitely an interesting twist on a story we thought went into the pauper's grave with Mary, but in my opinion, the actors concerned seemed to walk their way through the scenes rather than pick up the every day pace as did the aforementioned cast members.  Although I have heard many people (whose opinions I trust) tell me what a sweet and dear person Natalia Livingston is, I have trouble getting past the acting style and the intense stares and pointing and "um's" a few times in each sentence.  Yes, I confess, I'm a NEm fast forwarder.  I have, however, slowed my roll past their scenes long enough to check out Connor. 

Since I quite enjoy Tyler Christopher but have always found Nikolas to be a bit stick-up-the-butt haughty, I have really watching him in the dual role.  The wandering accent doesn't bother me in the least (being a 40+ year soap fan has bred out of me any hope of continuity) and whether he's in the Louisiana bayou or on the Jersey shore, for me, he's been a hoot.  I like the lighter hair and his boldness.  ("I mona kiss yew.")  Seeing Emily rattled and babbling a little more incoherently than usual is enough to make me go from FF to play.  It's a particularly classic form of fun to watch her trying to speak her heart without sounding completely egocentric.  Oh, let's get real now.  It's impossible for her to do so and seeing her struggle with that sticky issue is hilarious to me.  It's as though she sometimes is aware of the ludicrousness of what she is saying and sometimes is oblivious to it.  A good example is the day she was weeping by Connor's hospital bed, saying, (in essence) "Please don't tell the truth about how Nikolas murdered his grandmother in cold blood.  I know it might seem wrong, but really, it will only make Nikolas and me even more sad and well, Nikolas would get into all kinds of trouble and we've already had so much trouble that I really don't think we should have to deal with any more bad stuff, so really, if you could see your way clear to just ignore what you saw and let this little murdering thing go unmentioned, well, I'd be ever so grateful and well, could go back to my enchanted life instead of having a fiancé in prison for a crime he, well, did commit in this case, but if you lived here for any amount of time, you'd know his grandmother really did need killing and really, Nikolas was performing a community service and should get, like, an award or something instead of going to prison, so if you could pleasepleaseplease just not say anything and, I dunno, lie or something - it's not so bad as long as you get a really deep sense of righteous indignation going in the pit of your soul - I'd reward you by never, ever thinking badly about you, ever."  (Insert "um's" as appropriate)

I'm just waiting for the moment when I get to hear Connor say, "Ol' Yeller jes' save yo' life" seconds before Nikolas shoots him, like, a lot.  He just keeps on killin' people...  Had the bad guys (oh, I forgot, the bad guys are really the good guys and the good guys are really...never mind) used Nikolas as a hit man instead of Sam (not the Kelly Monaco Sam, the hit lady Sam) and Lana, who couldn't kill time, they might have actually ended up with some of their more nefarious objectives met. 

Katrina and I were talking about the poor Curly-Boo twins the other day.  I mean, they're little, at that strange age where the line between what's real and what's pretend is a little fuzzy, they've got all this major drama going on around them, albeit it fake and it has to be confusing for the little ones.  Can you imagine the thoughts?  "Why is Aunt Nancy Lee Grahn crying?  Why does Uncle Mo look so mad?  When am I going to get the ice cream and snowman making Aunt Nancy Lee Grahn promised me?  Is Uncle Rick Hearst really going to live with us?  How cool is that?  I have the greatest mom and dad ever!"

Remember when I first reported Maria being cast and said that it was Diego's mother?  Everyone was quick to correct me that she was actually his sister.  Let's see what happens in a while, shall we?

As far as Head of ABC Daytime (Brian Frons) is revealing, there are plenty of plans for Jax and Courtney in the hopper, so don't look for a Casper end any time soon.

Rumors indicate that the custody trial for Kristina will be one like no other.  Anything up to this point has been nothing more than a skirmish.  Neither side is willing to back down and both are determined to win.

Fans are told that the Nikolas and Emily wedding is going to take place, but would it not be cool if Connor posed as Nikolas and married Emily instead? 

The end of one year and beginning of another always brings contract shake-ups as many come up for renewal.  Several front burner characters who were contracted as newcomers and now are major players will be looking at sweet, enticing deals to stay.  On the other hand, an actor's "people" have the job of convincing them of their immense mainstream marketability and for those who have never tried to make it in the cold, harsh, non-soap world after enjoying a strong soap career, the allure of feature films and prime time can be quite intoxicating.  Will they stay or will they go?  Time will tell.  The continuation of romances, in progress and planned, will definitely be affected by contract decisions made over the next few months.

Depending on how things go, with contract renewals, contract rejections and drops to recurring status (not so as we'd notice on screen), we could be looking at a new face of GH in a few month's time.  Sadly, it's not likely that we will experience a shift in writers or top cats, so same crap, different cast.

My instinct is that Tony Geary, Robin Christopher, Rebecca Herbst, Nancy Lee Grahn, Rick Hearst, Greg Vaughan, Maurice Benard (of course), Scott Clifton, Lesli Kay, Ted King, Natalia Livingston and Tyler Christopher are not likely to go anywhere.  Anyone else, I'd put on the, "anything can happen" list.

I mean, six months before he was gone, who would ever think we'd be watching Zander go down in a hail of bullets and Cameron Lewis dying of a bonk on the head?  The landscape can change faster than we can imagine.

This week, we get Steven Lars saving Carly from burning herself down (and being found with a really bad polyester wig melted to her noggin) and then scurrying her away.  We also are going to see the beginning of a rift between Carly and Big Daddy John as she realizes that he was instrumental in having Sonny arrested. 

Luke continues to use Heather to find out where Laura is (and has to get a little too close to her for Skye's comfort - as well as ours *full body shudder*) and fortunately, that story will be coming to a close within a month.  Expect to see Luke finally send Heather to that great big con house in the sky.  (Not to be confused with the Skye)  Oh an if you're thinking you just didn't watch closely enough, long time viewers of GH will tell you that Luke and Heather never had a "lost weekend" any more than Rick Webber ever had a lover stashed away up in the Webber attic.  More creative bullshit on the part of the writers, giving the finger to the integrity of GH history.

And with that, my time with you here in our weekly tête-à-tête has ended.  I hope you have a magnificent holiday week and that the bounty that comes your way is plentiful.

("Fun in the Sun" in November?  WTF?)

All my love,


Note:  Sage gets a fat ton of mail every day and regrets he can't answer everyone personally.  He loves ya, he just might not get a chance to write to ya!  Besides!!  He writes to you every week in a column whether you write to him or not!  So there! Needless to say, if you are an asshole, he just isn't going to write back because you will have proven you're not the people he writes for anyway and therefore, do not deserve his attention.  If you're inclined to do that, just pretend he wrote back and said, "That's just like, your opinion, man."

If your writing to ask about future storyline happenings, figure I answered, "Pfft, I dunno."

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