Those of you who enjoy Sage and his writing will likely appreciate the column.  For those of you who choose to continue on and share time with Sage,  welcome!  I am honored that you are here!

May 24, 2005

I am writing this completely on the fly between packing boxes and signing papers and pre-cooking some meals for Colin to have over the next week or two.

To move briefly off topic for an update (not really enough info for a full, off topic column, so I'm going to include it here), things are moving so very fast.  I've found that if The Universe is giving you a nudge to do something and you actually move (rather than waiting for the nudges to turn into beatings), the road before you opens up and smoothes out and meets you more than half way.  As soon as the wheels were set in motion, (When was it?  Wow, only 4 days ago!) the train started moving and now it is barreling along so fast I can barely keep up.  My house is being vacated as we speak and arrangements have already been made for the clean up to get underway.  I am going to be driving down the end of this week and setting up house again.  I didn't expect to realistically be making these changes until maybe the middle of June, but situations have culminated in a really wonderful way (even though the family still isn't very happy with me) and we are a about 3 weeks ahead of schedule.  I'm fairly breathless from the progression of events, but in a good way.

So my writing will be hit or miss for a little while, at least.  I'll be sure and catch up all of you who are interested in the off topic stuff after things have settled a bit. 

I have received several hundred letters from readers who have said such amazing things.  I want to thank each one of you with all of my heart.  I started out trying to reply to them all, especially since they are just so personal and lovely, but if I start doing that, I'll never get done the things I need to do for the move.  Please accept my apologies for this public thank you.  Once I am settled, I will be answering my e-mails in a more regular fashion, so I ask for your patience as I busy myself with reclaiming my life and my home.  Please do know that I am so grateful for the outpouring of love and support I have received.

I would love to provide commentary on the Emmy Awards ceremony, except that I didn't see it.  I was still recovering from my cold then (not that it's completely gone, but it is MUCH better) and spent the late afternoon and evening buried in my bed fast asleep.  When I got up the next morning, I read the news and all I could say was, "Saaaay  WHAAAAAT???"  (You know what I mean).

Beyond that, this year's festivities will have to move along without Sage's usual catty, bitchy remarks.  :)  There are two wonderful reviews on our website, done by my beloveds, Kate and Coggie.  To click to their columns, go to www.eyeonsoaps.com and look for <============ that little award in the pictures to the right.  The text beside it will provide links for you to click to the two reviews.


For me, the big AMC news is finally, at long last, after many abortive attempts, Jackson and Erica are married.  I'm holding my breath until they actually file the paperwork, but meanwhile, I am just loving this wedding.   I started boo hooing as soon as they were walking toward one another in the ... words escape... that outside hall thingie.  Already, I am nominating them for most beautiful soap wedding.  Sure, I LOVE the pageantry of a big, storybook, magnificent wedding (Felicia and Frisco, Ned and Lois, Megan and Jake), but this ceremony of simplistic beauty and a genuine outpouring of love nails it for me.  The bridesmaid dresses were the least hideous I have ever seen and oh my, Reggie in the tux is the one who put me over the edge with his "one of these things is not like the other" speech.  I'd gotten so wrapped up in being sick and working on the move that I didn't even realize the wedding was now.  I happened to catch it and I am so very glad that I did.

I'm thinking super couple.  Can we actually have a true super couple on AMC who ISN'T Tad and Dixie?  I'm starting to think we can't.  If we can, I vote for Zach and Kendall.  I am praying earnestly that the powers that be will take the opportunity this marriage (merger?) offers to put some flesh on the delicious bones of Zach Slater and show us more of his complex personality.  Ethan, I can completely take or leave.  His character is oatmeal, minus the sugar or milk, so I don't really care if his heart gets broken, but given Kendall's most unfortunate track record in love, I'd give almost anything for her to find herself drawn to this particular powerful, handsome man and vice versa.  I am so completely over Ryan and Greenlee (I'm thinking they need a year-long world tour to work out the kinks and recover from all they have been through lately.)  Of all of the couples in the mix, this would be my favorite.

A confession to make, and this is why I stay away from message boards, as a rule, is that too many bitchy, griping, manipulating people in one place give me the heebie-jeebies.  For that reason, I do hope that this incarnation of Amanda (a character I have never liked much anyway) disappears quickly.  Kendall, Greenlee, Erica, Maddie, Sam, David, Tad, Krystal, Babe, JR, Adam, Ethan, Zach... It seems that the entire cast is cookie-cuttered into Shrew Mode.  While I understand that the characters must be multifaceted to be interesting, having such a full roster of personalities that could be considered to be "bad guys," depending on how you look at them, is getting a bit old.  Can we possibly shake it up a bit and NOT bring on a (relatively) new character who's not yet another (surprise!) manipulative bitch?  Please?

That Jamie!  My oh my.  He can fix just ANYthing.  What a handy little bugger.  (I hates him)

Congratulations to Eden Riegel for winning "Best Young Actress" at the Emmys Friday night!


<==========  Isn't this guy just the soapiest soap soap to every soap a soap?  You know what I'm seeing for a caption for this picture?  "You're spending the night with Fred Garvin, male prostitute."  This, of course, is Spencer Vickers, brother to David Vickers, spoiler in the Kelly and Kevin reunion and the new "doctor about town" at Llanview Memorial Hospital.  Spencer is played by soap vet, Paul Satterfield, (ex-Pierce on B&B and ex-Paul on GH) and starts, well, today!  Some of you have likely already checked him out as I type this.

Congratulations go out to Erika Slezak for taking home the "Best Lead Actress" award at the Emmys Friday night.  If I remember correctly, this is Ms Slezak's 6th Emmy in that category, which is the most that any actress has won.   Couldn't happen to a classier lady by a long shot. 

(In Spicoli speak) "huh huh.  I know that guy) ====> and I am very, very glad he's back.  Phil Carey has been deeply missed by this ol' guy and I, for one, am very pleased that he's going to be on our screen again, especially since it appears he is bringing Thom Christopher back to Llanview!  Wheeeeee Haaawwww!

But wow, Asa AND Renee in one scene!  Score!!!

I am still completely on board with the Daniel Colson story and have enjoyed every minute of it, even the ludicrous (Is Mark going to be boiling bunnies in Nora's spaghetti pot any time soon, hmmm?).  In a time when many people (despite the recent ban in many states on gay marriages and the strong views the election brought out on "family values") think that gay people no longer face discrimination or difficulties, I feel it definitely brings reality home to present a story about a gay man so mired in his fear and shame that he is willing to go to extreme measures to hide his sexuality.  It's not always straight people who are deluded.  This story has really driven that point home.

I thought I would look forward to a Bo and Nora reunion.  I enjoyed them so much the first time around and their chemistry is always there, sometimes tapped and other times, well, not.  Now, I'm finding myself resistant to the formula-fixed flow of the story.  Seeing Nora so oblivious and downright stupid (I think she could walk in on Daniel and Mark in that dirty knees kind of way and STILL not get it.  "His zipper is stuck!  I'm using my teeth to get it to dislodge.") is insulting.   All I can (weakly) say to the newcomers is, "Well, she used to be smart."  Since we now know it wasn't Sam Rappaport's seed that grew Matthew in Nora's ripe and ready womb, we can, by means of evidence, conclude that it instead grew a Stupid Tree in her gut that is beating her in the head on an ongoing basis with its rich and lustrous Stupid Branches.  Oh Nora!  We hardly knew ye!  The Stupid Tree has taken good root and the wind between your ears is batting those Stupid Branches all over the place, causing the Stupid Fruit to fall and rot all over your thinking process.

I still love OLTL, but it is in the slump of a lifetime!!  The good news is that it can only go up from here!  (Presumably) 

When Rex was stretched out beside Jen's grave, ruminating on the ills of Daniel Colson before Lindsay arrived, did anyone else think it looked as though a fur coat was stretched over the grave?  That's almost worth dying for!

(Note to Antonio:  "My little bambino, you do not have YOUR bambino NOT because of RJ, but because you can't control your damned temper!!  Now get over yourself!")


It's a wedding!  One down, two to go!  Next on top of the wedding cake are Jax and Courtney, looking every bit the picture of Yuppie Puppy Matrimonial Bliss.  Journey fans are sure to swoon at the dippity doo dah cleavaged ruffled Barbie dress Courtney wears and seeing the Object de Blonde Affections in a nice tux.  As weddings go, Courtney has had some nice ones and we can expect this one to be no exception.

The third wedding?  Let's just say that the Skye is NOT the limit!

I am really starting to think that GH writers are actually taking their cues from old soaps because some of the stuff we've seen lately is just soooo sudsy it could have come out of the GH of 30 years ago.  "I was embarrassed to be in the same room with you... when you and Carly fight, it's so passionate... it was like you were making luvvvvvvv!  *sniff*"  Then there's the compulsion Carly has for walking in on Sonny while he's trying to get his mack on.  How many time does she has to be bug-eyed and shocked that the Magic Penis is going out to play?  Sonny practically pogo'd all tripod down the stairs today, following Reese who was fleeing the scene of the near crime.  So far, Carly has walked in on Sonny and Alexis, Sonny and Sam, Sonny and Reese twice...  The last time Sonny walked in on someone at Carly's crotch, there was a baby coming out and he STILL shot her in the noggin!  I've got to admit, though, that Reese sure did hit the jackpot getting to score with BOTH brothers.  Like Sam, it appears she doesn't even take the time to wash in between. 

You know what Sonny's trial did for me?  Proved to me that at last, Faith's husband had a first name!  Charles Roscoe!

Almost as dramatic as what goes on in the soap world is the drama that was drummed up over the recast of Felicia.  I have it on authority that the fans are in much more of an uproar than any of the actual parties directly involved.  Here's how it supposedly happened.  GH didn't want to contract Kristina Wagner for the short amount of time they were going to use her for a particular story.  She had plans already made and wanted a contract to guarantee it would be worth breaking the plans.  They agreed it wasn't working and parted ways.  The drama was drummed up, as usual, by people wanting to inject more into the situation than was actually there.  Kid you not.  While I can truly understand missing a fan favorite, we definitely shouldn't be getting indignant and riled up on behalf of someone who themselves are not indignant and riled up.


That's some hot shit on my screen right now with Reese and Ric.  Yowzer.  Guess she had some residual hormones banging around in there.

To herald in my revitalized web life, I have created a new message board (nope, I don't go to them as a rule, but we have such cool EOS readers, how could I NOT hang out with them???).  The Ranch is still buzzing, but they have pretty much tightened down into their own community and I can't really see changing their dynamic by moving in and taking over, so here is the newly christened Sage's Place.  Click here to get there.  I really hope you enjoy it!  I made the text larger for those of you who have trouble seeing the tiny stuff.  Be nice.  Have fun.  I'll be around from time to time.

With that, my time here is done for this week.  Not sure if there will be a column next week.  It all depends on where I am in the process.

Love to you all,



Note:  Sage gets a fat ton of mail every day and regrets he can't answer everyone personally.  He loves ya, he just might not get a chance to write to ya!  Sage truly does not have info on upcoming storylines except what is posted on the EOS Spoiler Commentary pages!

Please, let us remember, people have opinions that are sometimes in conflict.  If you don't agree with the opinions expressed in this column, please understand it was in no way intended to offend.  It's just like, my opinion, man.  (Love that Lebowski!)

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