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Welcome to ME!!  

I'm glad you're here.  If you are coming with an open mind and happy heart, then you are doubly welcome.  If you are here to pick a fight and drink your haterade, then my kitty above does all the talking.

Come in, pour a drink, put on your fuzzy bunny slippers and let's dish the soaps!


Please, let us remember, people have opinions that are sometimes in conflict.  If you don't agree with the opinions expressed in this column, please understand it was in no way intended to offend.  It's just like, my opinion, man.  (Love that Lebowski!)

(Yes, Sage is a
guy... and a
damned good
looking one too!)


July 11, 2005

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WHAT a week and I’m not just talking about our soaps!  Since Katrina, our intrepid Webmaster Goddess who does all of our updates, had a terrible computer crash and was unable to update EOS, I took advantage of the week off to have my house fumigated (ick, with the sis and bro-in-law in here, we ran into some insect problems of the most despicable sort) and my computer fixed.  I’ve been pecking along on my little laptop since I left home the first time and for one thing, I HATE it because I feel all scrunched up and confined when I’m writing.  My wrists feel too close together and I like real mouses (mice?) and not funky laptop ones.  For another thing, I had cable when I was up north and my laptop does not have an internal modem.  For the moment, until I can establish DSL (which really is just a matter of doing it), I am on dial up, so needless to say, my little laptop can’t “dial up.”  When I’ve gotten online, I’ve used my desktop PC, but it is running so ragged since it was forcefully raped by all kinds of Blues Clues software (downloaded from some shitty internet pirate ship, no doubt) and all of my own programs not only uninstalled, but uninstalled incorrectly that it barely creeps along.  When I left it here, safely (I thought) locked in my room that was to remain untouched, it was a lean, mean computer machine.  When I returned, it was all sticky with kidfunk and running like complete crap.  So I took it in to my favorite computer geek who got it all cleaned up and running spiffy again.  I bought a new keyboard since keys were sticking all over the place on my old one.  He got me all set up with the Microsoft service pack updates I was missing and now I think I am good to go!


Now in regard to the shows, wow!  What a week!  (I already mentioned that, didn’t I?)  Back in the day after Leo’s death, I kept thinking that David would be the one to get Greenlee pregnant, but I didn’t expect it would happen in this way.  Dave must really know his way around a turkey baster for Greenlee to hit the jackpot on the first try.  I know people who try for months and months (and thousands and thousands of dollars) without any luck.  But then, they aren’t Greenlee and we all know that whatever Greenlee wants, Greenlee gets.  That’s how we know that Ryan will not only survive his perilous suicidal plunge off the 2 foot Cliff of Pain and Death, but will fully recover and embrace his impending fatherhood with joy and anticipation.  Of course, there are a couple of ideas *I* have for High Drama of the AMC variety.  My pick would be that just when they settle into matrimonial and ma/paternal bliss, Mr Leo washes up onto shore looking for his bride.  To choose between Leo and Ryan?  For me, there is no comparison, but I’m sure Greenlee compares every inch (snick) of them.  The next (and I’m guessing most likely) scenario is that Ryan (being in the hospital after his tragic 2 foot drop off of the Cliff of Pain and Death and unable to take his super anti-energy pills (that change him from Underdog back to Shoeshine Boy – OK, it’s backwards, deal with it) remains hostile and shitty (in the guise of being altruistic by protecting the world from his spoiled seed) until Greenlee has the requisite miscarriage threat when it will come crashing in on him all at once how much he wants the little peanut.  Or wait!  How about it gets even BETTER and we combine the two!  What if our intrepid rogue anti-hero, Ryan, continues to be a complete ass (likely) and pushes Greenlee and baby away too many times, possibly even pushing her to have an abortion, Leo comes back and sweeps them both away.  Ryan gets on his motorcycle and rides away into a short-lived prime time drama and everyone is happy!  Works for me. 

Personally, I'd love it if Greenlee just didn't tell Ryan she's pregnant and got progressively bigger and bigger and bigger...

In other worlds (I love that about AMC… there are actually “other worlds” that have little to do with one another), I love how EVERYONE is confused about the Dixie/Di conundrum.  Has David, the con, been conned?  Did Dixie take David’s money to pass herself off as herself?  Or has it turned into a replay of the wonderful, fantastic Kevin Klein movie, “Dave,” where a presidential impersonator is enticed to actually take over for the comatose president and ends up actually “being” the president, complete with usurping the guys who asked him to be president in the first place?  Is Di really Dixie or is she just putting the finishing touches on the best con job in recent AMC history?  She’s willing to spring for the DNA test this week (which Brooke actually acquires), so she must be confident!  She surely did a great ad lib job of knowing who was who and identifying precious heirloom crap for someone who isn’t Dixie.


Why oh why oh why oh why must Evangeline insist on the continual flogging of herself with the Pain Stick?  It's like watching someone cut themselves over and over and over, rubbing salt in the wounds and wailing over then pain, then repeating the process again and again.

John and Evangeline are the walking personification of the old Meatloaf song, "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad."  In fact, I'll bet Dena Higley sent all of the OLTL writes a copy of the song and said, "The first one who does something with this song gets the story." 

I mean really, read these lyrics:

Baby we can talk all night
But that ain't getting us nowhere
I told you everything I possibly can
There's nothing left inside of here

And maybe you can cry all night
But that'll never change the way that I feel
The snow is really piling up outside
I wish you wouldn't make me leave here

I poured it on and I poured it out
I tried to show you just how much I care
I'm tired of words and I'm too hoarse to shout
But you've been cold to me so long
I'm crying icicles instead of tears
And all I can do is keep on telling you

I want you - I want you
I need you - I need you
But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you
Now don't be sad don't be sad 'cause
'Cause two out of three ain't bad

Now don't be sad
'Cause two out of three ain't bad

You'll never find your gold on a sandy beach
You'll never drill for oil on a city street
I know you're looking for a ruby in a mountain of rocks
But there ain't no Coupe de Ville
Hiding at the bottom of a Cracker Jack box

I can't lie - I can't lie
I can't tell you that I'm something I'm not
No matter how I try
I'll never be able
To give you something
Something that I just haven't got

There's more, but you get the idea.

John has laid it right out on the line what he has to give emotional and has drawn the lines of what he can and cannot say.  Given the fact that he has not lied to her and told her he loves here when that would definitely make his life a hell of a lot easier, I would think that gives his word some credibility.  So given that, if he tells her, "Don't freak, I don't love Natalie either, I really just want to be with you," she needs to examine that at face value and make a decision accordingly instead of continually demanding that he be someone he isn't.  He has cleanly and clearly put his cards on the table and she should either accept what he can offer and be open to it becoming more if it progresses naturally to that, or else decide she needs more and step off.  Meanwhile, she needs to stop demanding more of John than he can give, stop venting her middle-class rage on Natalie and for all the love of Mike, stop badgering Nora about it when she's clearly got the "screwed up love interest" advantage in SPADES over Evangeline's "he won't say the wurrrrrrds" supersonic whine generator.

Granted, Natalie is no shrinking violet in this situation, having made the conscious decision to aggressively, slobberingly, rabidly go after a man who made it clear he was committed to another relationship.  As I understand it, there's something of a "sister code" out there amongst civilized women and if I am not mistaken, doesn't this sort of whorish behavior go against "the code?"  Sure, John is conflicted.  Sure, John is red blooded and Natalie's breasts are far larger and more heaving and undulating than are Evangeline's.  Sure, when a sultry redhead has the hots for your thinnish body, it's flattering and a guy will react.  But damn, Natty,  STICK TO THE CODE!

David continues to charm the world, clearly the best character ever.  I loved his comment to Spencer that went something like, "Is there anything you haven't done, won, rescued..."  I'm paraphrasing, but it was a great moment.

Every bit as much as much as I love David, I really, really hate Tess.  There is a whole High Class Slut look with the eyes all heavily lidded and the jaw dropped slightly and the breathy Marilyn Monroe voice that I despise.  It's the "Ahmmm so gawwwgeous and I KNOOOOW it and I am going to UUUUUSE it" thing that makes me vomit.  I'd call her Niki Jr, but back in the day, Niki was fun watch.  Like the most recent incarnations of Niki, this is just painful to watch. 

OLTL has newcomers on the horizon.  Rather than Paige meeting her demise as previously suggested, she will instead be recast in the form of Tony Award winning actress Cady Huffman.  OLTL wanted to contract her, but the actress rejected their salary offer and OLTL rejected her salary counter-offer, hence, the recast.  David Fumero's return has been projected to be in September.   Tina Sumpter has been cast as Layla, Evangeline's sister and a love interest for Antonio.  If Nash looks familiar, you might be remembering him from his former incarnation on ABC soaps.  Forbes March, who plays Nash, was one of the Scott Chandlers on AMC, the 4th one, I think.    He also starred in the ill-fated TV series, "Mutant X."


OK, seriously, I am not normally naive and gullible, expecting accuracy and realism from my soaps.  I can suspend reality from a skyhook if I have to.  But come on.  Are we really supposed to believe that after being at Death's Door, having conversations with long dead relatives a week ago, now not only are Georgie and Maxie out, but neither has signs of having any kind of surgery.  Georgie has all of her hair after brain surgery.  Maxie has no scar on her chest, as is evidenced by the seamless décolletage she was sporting in her low cut shirt on Friday, either from her first transplant or her most recent brush with death.  Not only that, but she's able to wrestle with Jesse, knocking him to the bed and manhandle this other broad off of her "husband."  That's definitely some super healing!

There are definitely growing relationships to keep your eye on.  Tracy and Luke are becoming mui sympatico despite all odds and to the chagrin of Skye.  Jax and Elizabeth are bonding in a weird way over their mutual peanut creating, rumored to be the next "it" couple should ALW not remain with the show.  Poor Greg Vaughan...  Rumors of NEm finally being a thing of the past is music to my hungry ears. 

The real buzz of the week is that the story is being rewritten yet AGAIN to show that Michael didn't really kill AJ, someone else did and Jason might know who is was.  Could it have been Alan, who's been acting decidedly odd lately?   (That's just my own speculation, not even a rumor)  So many had motivation, as in any good murder mystery. 

Oh lord, I hated that cream colored suit MB was wearing at the part.  Ack.

High drama continues between cheerleading foes Carly and Reese, formerly Caroline and Charlotte.  When all is said and done and the storm, literally and figuratively, blows over, will they collapse sobbing into one another's arms and be one big, now even more expanded dysfunctional family? 

So I'm behind the times.  Are Maxie and Jessie called Messy?  Jaxie?

Lucky is just PISSING ME OFF!  Liz came up with several ideas for how to get money and he just kept shooting them down while not coming up with any viable ideas of his own.  Now that she may or may not be pregnant with the Jacks baby and they are getting megaduckies for it, he still can't help being an ass about it!  Gimme a break!

I don't know if I'm in the minority or not, but so far, I love the CarLo marriage.  He's patient with her knowing going in he's going to have to be and loving her all the same.  I'm a sucker for romance, despite the whole "he kidnapped her" beginnings.  If I can get past the Luke and Laura rape, I can get past this and love it.

What??  Ric and Alexis wreck again?  Has NO ONE gotten them into drivers training classes?

Best of fun vibes going out to Dianna, Kathy, Kelly, Karen, Coggie and Katrina who will be heating up the GH Fan Club Weekend this week!  I know these ladies are going to have a wonderful time.  EOS fans, be sure to find them!  They'll be where ever the fun is happening!

Peace and love to all of you, my darlings,