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Welcome to ME!!
(Yes, Sage is a guy... and a damned good looking one too!)

Honey, you're either going to "get" me and know my heart and my intent or you're not going to "get" me at all.  If you don't, know your limitations and just back away from the keyboard after clicking the little "X" in the box on the upper right corner of your browser window, ne'er to return again. 

I used to have a long disclaimer here for the confused and manners-challenged people who don't know the difference between a "rumor" or "gossip" and an actual spoiler, but screw it.  Angry, bitter, small minded people will always talk their trash to compensate for their own 1st chakra frustrations and inadequacies. 

When you read those vicious people on the message boards and around, just shake your head and remember they aren't getting any play, so they're grumpy.  Pity them, then dismiss them.  This is a hate free zone.  Feel the luvvv, baby.


Note:  Due to the large volume of e-mail he receives, Sage regrets that he is unable to personally answer each e-mail.  He wants you to know that he reads each and every one (some 2-3 times) and greatly appreciates your communication.  Please DO NOT ask Sage for further info on what is going to happen on the shows.  Any information he has that he can share will be put into his column ASAP.

September 7, 2004
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September 6, 2004
Did you donate this month?  HELP, we need you!!

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Happy September!  And Happy Birthday, Katrina!!

Yesterday was my dear friend, Katrina's birthday (our beloved webmaster) and I want to send out my best wishes and warmest love for a happy week to follow her happy day yesterday.  I love ya, my darling.

In two days, our site expenses are due.  Thanks to the people who donated this past week, but we still have a ways to go to make the full amount, so I'm asking my readers to contribute if they can to the continuation of Eye on Soaps by clicking on one of the links below.  I thank you for your support.

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I can validate what Soapboy over at Soaptown USA is saying that at this time, there is no plan in place to kill off Liza as rumors are saying.  Personally, I think it might shake the place up if she were killed off (nothing against Liza or Marcy Walker, but if she's gonna go, let's make it in STYLE) and give some lost souls in Pine Valley a good shake of reality.  Something needs to give that show a boost because it's quickly getting lost in the mire of the Carey ladies and the Kane women.  No stories seem able to exist without being strangled by ranting females.  At this point, Marcy Walker could leave the show and be gone for weeks or months without anyone noticing since she's never, ever shown.  We should likely all be on alert if she should ever mention going up to the Chandler attic to retrieve anything.  We could presume that it is her last shot on AMC.  (That was facetious, by the way... I have no foreknowledge of a plot to send Liza to yon killing attic)

FINALLY, this week we get to see the beginning of the end when Babe gets lost on her way to the Chandler mansion and ends up in Llanview (Ow!  Honey, I sprained my tongue by having it so far into my cheek saying that one).  She sees little Ace, her womb quickens and she knows it's her wee bairn.  AMC definitely pays homage to Mama's Instinct, you have to admit!

Prior to holy madonna moment in Llanview, she is just about ready to tell Bianca the truth, finally, but decides to first go to a chapel to consult with her dead baby boy and make sure she shouldn't continue to lie her ass off.  I can't help but think of a wonderful scene in the hilarious Steve Martin movie, "The Man With Two Brains" where Steve's character, Dr. Hfuhruhurr (spelling is correct, I checked), is asking his sweetly sainted late wife's portrait if he should continue his relationship with his new love, Delores, evilly played by Kathleen Turner.  "Just give me a sign," he begs the portrait, "any sign."  The lights flash on and off, a mighty wind blows through the house, the portrait starts to spin and an eerie voice shrieks, "No!!  No!!  NOOOOOOOOOO!"  All through this, Dr. Hfuhruhurr continues to stare beseechingly at the painting and when order is again restored, he says, "Just... a sign.  Any sign... I'll be watching for it.  In the meantime, I'll keep you in the closet."

Now we've seen that the gun left for Kendall was truly packing heat and Ryan is on the ground with lead in his belly.  The only question now is how the "real" bullets got there.  Ethan, Zach or someone else?  Whoever it was obviously wanted Ryan dead and Kendall out of commission, which still points to Ethan, Zach or someone else.

Also comes the news that Tad will be popping the question to Ms Krystal.  Will he go to the chapel to ask Dixie for guidance on this, then hide her spinning portrait in the closet?

Zach isn't finished having secrets, evidently, as more continue to emerge.  Maria promises him she won't tell anyone he is Alexander Cambias, Jr (does he then know that Ethan is his son or has he gotten that far yet?), but that doesn't stop others from snooping until they find out the truth. 

JR will find himself under arrest for drugging Babe as THAT truth comes out to more than those who were in the room for Babe and Bianca's bed shot.


This week, it became even more clear that Carlotta may not be Antonio's mother after all, but his auntie.  Mother honors are pointed to Angelina with none other than Don Santi himself as the intrepid cop's papa.  Tico wants nothing less than to have that information come out into the open  as he is the recipient of the Santi fortune, which would be usurped if an older sibling were to appear.  This week, Antonio demands answers from Carlotta and gets a letter from Angelina.  Which Mami will be the one to tell him the truth?

Of course, the biggest news is that David Tom (Paul Cramer) has been let go from OLTL in a storyline dictated (or so they say) move.  Paul is to become the next OLTL murder mystery with Natalie as the prime suspect.  Personally, I'd be more than happy to steady her hand or pass her the mallet.

Hello.  My name is Sage Bourland.  I'm a gay man.  I am a supporter of gay storylines being integrated here and there into daytime drama, provided it's not overkill and overstated.  I am very much pro-gay marriage and firmly believe one should be allowed to legally marry and bestow the right of spousehood with all of its benefits onto any legally aged human they deem worthy enough to want to spend (presumably) the rest of their life entertaining, feeding and sleeping with their snores.  That being said, *I* am sick of hearing Marcy constantly defend this into her cell phone, day after day after day.  The idea of her father and brother coming to town to bring this drama into three dimensional technicolor has me scrambling for my fast forward button. 

Watch for the "Todd and Blair take Asa's house" story to become even more convoluted and painful to watch.  This horse is driving the rickety cart straight off the cliff.  With word that Phil Carey wants to leave the show and retire from the biz, it could end badly for Asa in the long run.


September 12 is listed as the first date that Anthony Geary is available for taping following his annual summer vacation.  That means he'll show up on our screen toward the second or third week of October.

Jax is ready to spirit Courtney away to the Bahamas, but they are delayed when the cops suspect Jax of helping to hide Skye (which, as we know, he did).  Skye, meanwhile, has escaped with the newly returned Luke, with the help of none other than Dillon and Georgie!  Luke and Skye share a passionate kiss, but he's still protecting Laura, unbeknownst to Skye.

Luke might end up being the one who is on to Heather.

Carly beats Steven at a game of pool and gets him drunk--loser takes a shot! Steven ends up admitting more about himself than he learns about Carly. Later, Carly takes a spill and Steven wraps her wrist for her, just as Sonny witnesses a close moment. 

Carly promises Sonny that she will keep her distance from Durant and she makes the same declarations to Jason and Courtney.  Of course, she makes plans to see Durant in secret. 

Durant brings Carly a family photo album, which only endears Carly to him further. She wants Michael to know his grandpa but it's too late to forge a relationship after Jason tells Michael that Durant is a "bad man not to be trusted."

Alcazar isn't going to be manipulated for a second by Durant, even though he pretends to go along with the prosecutor's schemes. Durant decides to hold a press conference and Alcazar wants to be rid of him in a very public way, that will implicate Sonny and Jason.  Carly shows up at the press conference and stands right next to her new daddy at the podium....while Michael and Morgan watch the whole thing on TV. 

Alcazar goes straight to Sonny after Durant makes him a proposal. Alcazar decides to play both sides against the middle and tells Sonny exactly what he's doing (leaving out the fact that he plans to use the situation to get Carly back, of course).

Lois asks Alcazar if he's capable of killing someone. His answer? "Absolutely." (Remember the movie "Dave?"  He's an ordinary person.  I can kill an ordinary person.")

Dillon later tells Alcazar that he has a chance with Lois if he plays his cards right. Now that Lorenzo has an idea for how to win Carly back, will he even want to pursue Lois at all?  Ultimately, Lois is the one who ends the relationship because of Brook's reaction to Mom's new bed buddy.

Alexis subpoenas Jason to testify at Faith's trial. 

Sam, in defense of Jason and Sonny, accuses Alexis of trying to get back at Sonny for his abrupt dismissal of her after their "affair." 

Sonny tells Jason to take out Faith (and I don't mean to dinner), even after she's taken into custody. Jason wonders why Sonny is intentionally putting him in harm's way.  Hmmmm.  Is he making a point here?

Heather worries now that her son, Steven, is in town, that he will discover the schemes she's working on to get Edward's money. 

Sam wants Jason to take Lamaze classes with her and Sonny is not pleased. 

Nikolas discovers the cure to Emily's curse after she nearly drowns in the bathtub.

Ric and Steven continue to butt heads as Durant exercises control over the PCPD. 

Georgie sees Dillon and Brook bonding over the pangs of having divorced parents.  Georgie later unloads on Mac and Felicia for being "too perfect." 

Edward and Tracy want to make sure Helena has no intention of hurting Emily and intends only to break up her relationship with Nikolas.  But how will Tracy react when she hears that Helena's plan is to send Emily to jail?  (Of course, we can imagine that Helena wouldn't be satisfied with Emily only being in jail ) Ed and Tracy hurry to stop a NEM elopement, but has Helena already beat them to the draw?  Since the wedding isn't until November, we can be sure someone puts the brakes on the happy event.

Watch for some hilarious scenes when Jax camps outside Courtney's door after hearing her new "son," Diego, flirt with her.

That's all for this week.  Hope life treats you well! 

Much love,


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