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(Yes, Sage is a guy... and a damned good looking one too!)

Honey, you're either going to "get" me and know my heart and my intent or you're not going to "get" me at all.  If you don't, know your limitations and just back away from the keyboard after clicking the little "X" in the box on the upper right corner of your browser window, ne'er to return again. 

I used to have a long disclaimer here for the confused and manners-challenged people who don't know the difference between a "rumor" or "gossip" and an actual spoiler, but screw it.  Angry, bitter, small minded people will always talk their trash to compensate for their own 1st chakra frustrations and inadequacies. 

When you read those vicious people on the message boards and around, just shake your head and remember they aren't getting any play, so they're grumpy.  Pity them, then dismiss them.  This is a hate free zone.  Feel the luvvv, baby.


Note:  Due to the large volume of e-mail he receives, Sage regrets that he is unable to personally answer each e-mail.  He wants you to know that he reads each and every one (some 2-3 times) and greatly appreciates your communication.  Please DO NOT ask Sage for further info on what is going to happen on the shows.  Any information he has that he can share will be put into his column ASAP.
August 2, 2004
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It's That Time!

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And they just keep managing to piss us off...

Fans who waited in line for the taping of SoapNet's Soap Secrets were surprised to find themselves relocated by stage managers to places less conspicuous than the coveted front row.  Why?  Allegedly, the reason was because the fans were not quite the required ABC stereotype of size 2, fake boobs and a bleached out smile that SoapNet wants in its front row audience.  

One could allege that Disney (who owns both ABC and SoapNet) is practicing discrimination and blatant favoritism to the Barbie doll shapes of the world (and I do allege that plenty), but the sad fact is that all networks practice "audience seeding" and bring in pretty people to pepper the audience and up the aggregate visual appeal, particularly in the front rows.  That doesn't make it a reasonable practice (to them, it's "just business"), but it does mean that it is not practice exclusively by ABC. 

Should we scorn them for this particular practice?  Absolutely, but we must scorn on a wide scale rather than narrowing to Disney and ABC.  I've babbled on before (<--click that link to get to the column from a couple of years back) about my disdain for the rampant practice of using only cookie cutter beautiful people in our soaps, so that's nothing new.  It just blows my mind to pieces to see it so blatantly put into practice.

~ ~ ~

Have I mentioned that Aiden Turner is back as Aidan on August 10th? (I know, but I just like saying it).

In the gossip arena, now the word is circulating that Marcy Walker's leaving was not her idea, but that she was let go by the network.  ABC, as usual, "does not comment on the contractual status of their actors."  Certainly, AMC has done nothing to come up with a viable story for this wonderful actress and the last we saw of her in any credible scene, her character was being crucified on the altar of Krystal and Babe with Tad driving in the spikes.  How does a veteran character come back from that?  Evidently, AMC has decided that she can't.  I am going to choose to believe (with my ever-volume-increasing "La La La" chant to keep from hearing the truth) that if Walker leaves, the split was amicable and she's ready to branch out into other projects or settle into a happy, peaceful life away from entertainment, whichever works best for her, at least until the otherwise is confirmed.  (la la la la la)

Watch for a ghostly face from the past to return in some flashback hauntings. Fortunately for all concerned, it's just temporary and just flashbacks.  This will begin on September 7th.



The plot thickens regarding rumors of an executive shake up at OLTL.  First, we hear that Executive Producer, Frank Valentini, (sorry to be shallow, but Valentini, left, is just a total hottie) is being let go (not confirmed) and this week comes the news that co-head writer, Josh Griffith, is walking.  Other co-writer, Mike Malone, was brought on in primarily a consulting capacity, but it is expected that he will now be serving as solo head writer.  This departure is also not confirmed, but is more solid than the rumor on Valentini.  If either or both guys leave, you can expect to see sweeping changes across the board for OLTL. 

As always, major change in hot seats on a show are a mixed bag.  Sometimes, (as I felt happened when Executive Producer, Gary Tomlin, took over the position from Jill Farren Phelps) the show experiences very rapid, regenerative growth to the positive side.  Other times, it goes in the pooper right away and still other times, the newcomers will spend some time weighing out the canvas before making more gentle changes.  Either way, we wait and see how the new foster parent will treat our sweet baby show.  In this case, we wait to see first if either rumor is true.

Also in the rumor department is the continued (and disturbingly persistent but unverified) whisper that Phil Carey will soon be leaving the show.  *grumble*grumble*

Forget ye not, August 12th we will see a new face, Shane McRae, as Paul Cramer while David Tom takes personal time off to do God knows what kinds of personal things. 

We're still waiting for NuDuke (Matthew Metzger) to materialize.  His arrival was projected for July, which has come and gone and there is no sign of him yet.  I do know he is taping, including a scene in which Adrianna, Tico and Duke are at Dorian's pool.  In a "STAY AWAY FROM MY SISTER" moment, Tico actually shoots Duke point blank, who pitches forward over the side of the pool, bleeding profusely into said pool.  Was it taped as reality (as real as soaps get) or was it a fantasy or dream scene?  Not sure yet but if it's real, Kevin is in for a seriously bad month and we definitely don't get Duke long enough to hear him sing.

If you think Kelly is batshit now, watch over the next couple of weeks.  She'll make Baby Jane Hudson look sane as a preacher's wife.

Saundra Santiago (best known as Tony Soprano's neighbor's wife, Jeannie Cusamano - right) will be joining the cast briefly as Tico and Sonia's governess, Angelina Paredes, beginning tomorrow, August 3rd.  She will meet a violent demise, again at the hands of the not-as-nice-as-he-seems Tico.

That's Ed Onipede Blunt playing Kevin's bribe officer, Hess, who was making David an offer he couldn't refuse (or could he?).  Blunt has worked both in theater and on screens big and small.

OLTL is currently casting for Marcy's dad, "Wally" Walsh.  This is expected to lead into the "Eric's getting married" story.  He is described as an "Archie Bunker type."

Chad Brannon fans came through in a big way for his favorite charity, the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.  Attendees at his 3rd annual Chad Brannon Cystic Fibrosis Foundation Event (which took place during the GH Fan Weekend in Studio City) raised just over $8000 to contribute to the worthy cause.  Brannon didn't let his release from GH get in the way of spending time with his fans and his stalwart support of this worthy cause.  He stayed well past his projected 4 hour event to make certain that everyone had their Chad moments and spoke extensively about his recent life changes and his plans for the future.  Now look to the right and think don't you miss dat sweet face?  Anyone for pixie stix?  More info on Chad Brannon and his upcoming events, etc, may be found at his official website.

Speaking of official websites, go to Greg Vaughan's Official Site and you'll see once and for all that NuNuLucky really is exceptionally fine (you'd have no clue of that from the skanky way they dress him on the show.  Do they WANT to make this guy look goofy or what?). 

Coleman alert!  Many Sage readers guessed it right!  Coleman will be the one who Carly approaches to help find her father.  He's skeptical, wondering why she isn't asking Felicia, but Carly wisely figures Felicia is too close to Bobbie and Carly doesn't want her mom to know she's looking for her father.  Coleman, God love him, goes too far when he tries to turn the tables on her with blackmail, but of course, Sonny is there to save the day.

Despite assertions to the contrary, whether Maurice Benard stays or goes, Sonny and Carly will be breaking up yet again and this time, the powers that be are pretty certain it's going to be the big one that takes.  Their impression is that when you keep a couple together for too long, the actors get bored, which dulls their performance and the fans get bored because the writers run out of fresh material to throw their way.  Regardless, the atmosphere around the admin side of soaps is that a couple that stays together through thick and thin just doesn't provide the versatile and exciting material of a couple apart.  Some fans agree and others do not.

Casting was held back in mid-July for the role of "Steve" with the understanding that he was to be working opposite Tamara Braun.  The story was plotted out (but is not yet scripted) for Sonny to go to jail for a varying length of time, depending solely on the outcome of Maurice Benard's contract negotiations.  Steve will be working for Carly's newfound papa, John Durant, to put Sonny behind bars for violation of the RICO (Racketeering Influenced and Corrupt Organizations) Act.  By romancing Carly, Steven is expected to get enough information to send Sonny away for a good, long time, but is the real question what Carly will do when she finds out she's been used or what Steve will do when he finds he his feelings for Carly are very real.  (Didn't see that one coming, did you?  Zzzzzzz)  This, of course, impacts Carly's relationship with Jason as well, which is already shaky after the lies he told to protect Michael, Sonny and Sonny's unborn baby.

"The Kiss" between Jason and Sam is coming up, but is it real or all fantasy?  Sam starts to falls for Jason first and her imagination comes to life as a result.  Jason's feelings are growing for Sam as well, especially as Sonny decides he wants to be more involved in Lila's life, seeing how being separated from her father affected Carly.  Jason basically tells him, "No" and Sam is clear that she feels it's in the baby's best interest that Jason be her father, for all intents and purposes. 

Jax and Courtney will continue their games until the last day of the bet, when they finally make love.  Courtney "won" in more ways than one!  Plans for Casper are still full steam ahead.  In case you missed it in a recent column, watch for a hilarious scene in which Courtney announces to a captive audience at Kelly's that she has NOT had sex with Jasper Jacks, but has EVERY intention of doing so!  She says this jussst as Jason walks in.  Doh!  How does she end up in such a predicament?  After being caught in a compromising situation, several people believe she has been playing sexcapades with GH's resident playboy and after dealing with questioning eyes and furrowed brows, she determines to set the record straight once and for all.

It's still not clear whether or not Emily and Nikolas will be going through with the wedding or not.  We know he gets his memory back.  We know they have obstacles after Mary dies.  We know that he proposes, she accepts and a lavish wedding is planned (do we get the damned Bacchanalia or what??).  Beyond that, it's unsure as to whether or not the vows are actually exchanged.

In other Cassadine news, Helena is scheduled to have a huge influx of scenes in the upcoming month.  That's definitely good news for her patiently (and no so, in my case) waiting fans.

Now if only she'd bring her favorite manservant, Landon Wine (aka, Ari/Andreas) with her!

I've always loved Katrina's "Got Milk" ad with Andreas:

For other "Got Milk" ads with GH folks of the past and present, click here.  (These are from about 3 years or so ago)

What is supposedly on the horizon about that I am still wrestling with in my mind is the reconnect between Elizabeth and the dumped on his ass Lucky.  Although not yet scripted, it's in the planning stages.  Ric reacts to John's flirtation to Alexis (and her response), but also won't be happy about his #1 deputy dawg taking up with his ex.

Nope, Joe Lando is not bringing his character of Jake Harrison (OLTL) to GH, at least not in any way that anyone at GH knows about it.  Maybe he plans to storm the set during a GH taping and ad lib a Jake re-entry, I dunno. 

Next Quartermaine out of the running for Lila's bucks?  Spoilered to be Monica.

Are you kidding me?  Of COURSE Robin Christopher is coming back from maternity leave!  Don't even THINK horrible thoughts like that!  *full body shudder!*

No new GH opening yet?  WTCF?  Are we waiting for more people to die off first?

And that's all I've got for the moment!  I hope you all have a magnificent week!  Please don't forget to donate to Eye on Soaps this week!

Much love,


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