Darling, It's SAGE!

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Welcome to ME!!  

Honey, you're either going to "get" me and know my heart and my intent or you're not going to "get" me at all.  If you don't, know your limitations and just back away from the keyboard after clicking the little "X" in the box on the upper right corner of your browser window, ne'er to return again. 

I used to have a long disclaimer here for the confused and manners-challenged people who don't know the difference between a "rumor" or "gossip" and an actual spoiler, but screw it.  Angry, bitter, small minded people will always talk their trash to compensate for their own 1st chakra frustrations and inadequacies. 

When you read those vicious people on the message boards, just shake your head and remember they aren't getting any play, so they're grumpy.  Pity them, then dismiss them.

Note:  Due to the large volume of e-mail he receives, Sage regrets that he is unable to personally answer each e-mail.  He wants you to know that he reads each and every one (some 2-3 times) and greatly appreciates your communication.  Please DO NOT ask Sage for further info on what is going to happen on the shows.  Any information he has that he can share will be put into his column ASAP.


I miss this guy.

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April 21, 2003

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Not In Here Either

People, don't make me look the world over for all of you GH defectors and drag you kicking and screaming back to the show for your own good!  We're heading into yet another awesome week of action and fun and YOU PEOPLE ARE MISSING IT!!  Stop trying to make a point and turn your TV on when the ambulance rolls, baby!  It's time to stumble back home, leave your pride at the door and have some fun!! 

You gotta lap up a little bitta dis:

and summa dis:

and a lotta dis:

and a good amount of dis:

and a dasha dis:

and just the right amounta dis:

C'mon.  if you let the past of soap operas hold you hostage, you'll never watch another one and we'll all be lost in the bog of Swords of Malkuths past.  NOW GET OVER HERE AND WATCH THE DAMNED SHOW WITH US, y'big baby, so you'll know what we're talking about at the water cooler!  Don't think I don't see you in the drawer behind me, traitor cat!

Now that my pictorial ad for GH is finished and I'm putting the chapstick back on my lips, let's get on with the column:

By the way, the clutter to the left and right of this column isn't there to piss you off or distract you or sell you something. It's there because the blank spaces were driving me nuts, so I thought I'd entertain you a bit.

From Da Stud Hoss's Lips!!

Stephen Nichols, in lieu of straight out announcing that he's returning to GH because of the fervent pleas from me on my knees (which resulted in the cops being called if you please) has issued a release of a bit of a tease of these words you may seize:  (Sage Does Dr Seuss)

"I am pleased to announce that I will be returning to General Hospital on May 5. I understand that many of you sent letters and E-mails, etc. in support of me and I am very grateful to all of you. The more time I put into this crazy business, the more dear you have become to me an to my family. I do not yet know my first air date but the story will bring Stefan back to save the crumbling Cassadine family. Stefan has a plan for Nikolas which will put them at odds and ultimately lead to another Cassadine/Spencer war. I am looking forward to working with Tony again and of course, Tyler. The prospect of rekindling the relationship with my son/nephew, Tyler/Nikolas was one of the main attractions of my return.

"I will keep you posted as to any other developments and thanks again for the love and support."


Of course, Darling, mine was signed "Love, Stephen" and yours was not, but don't feel bad.  The news that he's returning sooner (5/5) than later (5/12) is a very, very good thing and we should expect to see him air by the end of the month.  Folks were furrowing brows over his contract of six months, but this is a shrewd move on SN's part, considering his main irritation the last time he worked GH was that the powers that be just simply were writing anything for him and what they were writing, was crap.  This way, he can be sure he's getting decent work before he commits in.  One would think Helena can't be far behind, but at this point, Constance Towers' people still aren't confirming anything.  While her return may be presumed and certainly from all accounts, she's ready, willing and able, there's still nothing concrete.

The GH revolving door turns yet again as Real Andrews exits the role of Taggert that he has held down since 1996 (with a brief break in 1997 when Mathew St Patrick - of "Six Feet Under" and AMC - took over the role).  All of my sources indicate that the rumors are true and Andrews will be joining the cast of ATWT, making him the SIXTH African-American actor cast in a lead role on the show (since I don't swim in nonABC waters, this info comes from my favorite cynic, Kate Brown).  Could ABC, the ultimate lily white network, possibly be paying attention??  (Pfft, I doubt it)  If true, (and there are no formal yesses running around) Andrews will join ABC vets Roger Howarth (Todd from OLTL - recently announced his move to NBC) and Cady McClain (ex-Dixie from AMC).  Rumors say Andrews will play a medical examiner.

Almost taking a page from a true "Fan NotFebruary" report, GH appears to be setting up a focus on families rather than individuals.  We have a front and center story with the Quartermaines.  Sonny is getting a brother that requires some thought readjustment in tandem with the "baby on the way" story.  The Cassadines will be singing "We Are Fam-i-lee" again, although things will be tense with Stefan and Nikolas. Zander and Cameron will be reconnecting as he goes through Emily's cancer experience.  Luke and Lucky will be involved with the search for Summer's brother. 

In addition to the family boom (as opposed to just anything else going boom), we also have the return to romance with Ric and Elizabeth, Zander and Emily, Lucky and Summer, Carly and Sonny AND Jason and Courtney.  People actually are gettin' some!  They're kissing and not spitting afterwards!  They're makin' ze luvvv instead of having hate sex!  This blends deliciously with the rumors of a Ned and Skye pairing and the spoilers that ZEm will absolutely be the love story of the decade.  YUM!!  Just sit back and lap it up, darlings. Somewhere along the way, it all turned around on us and we're getting what we want.  The days are stacking up into weeks and slowly, we can become convinced that it's NOT a fluke episode and actually a wonderful transition into a balanced and extremely palatable show.

Of course, that in no way assuages the bitchmongers and naysayers who always have to find something to whine about.  It's amazing that a show can turn around to a degree heretofore only seen by the OLTL makeover by Gary Tomlin and you STILL have harpies whining and griping and picking the meal apart to satisfy their lust for attention through fit throwing.  It's like living by an airport or a freeway where you love your house enough that you just let the noise drone on and eventually learn to tune it out and realize it's just background noise that's never going to go away.  The small minds will always bitch.  It's how they communicate.

For the record, don't expect to see any "blind items" here.  Eye on Soaps and yours truly are focused on the show, not on the Weekly World News tabloid shit that may (or may not) be going on behind the scenes.  What happens on the screen is what's solid.  The rest is speculation and second hand trash, pure and simple.  Don't ask me about them either.  I'm not going to dignify the rape of someone's personal life like that with discussion of what star might have a pet sheep in his dressing room and "Hee hee, I'm not tellin' cause you people don't deserve the full story, just enough bait to get you yammering about it on the message boards."  I'm amazed more people aren't offended by it.  "Oooh!  I can't tell you all of it or I'll be in troouuubbbblllee!"   Well, then show some discretion and keep it to yourself!!!  Jeez.


Not much here.  Chris Stamp murder is coming up and it's supposedly a pretty big deal.  Lee Meriweather will be back for more than one episode as Ruth Martin soon. 

Alexander Cambias has been cast in the form of Ronald Guttman.  Nice resemblance, eh?  There is word of him actually ending up as a love interest for Erica.  Yet another man for her to push aside.  Good thing too.  After Chris is murdered, Jackson will NEVER get any play unless Erica gets a new man.


In Soon!

Out Soon!

PLUS the show still just rocks my socks, darling!!  Hate to gloat about it EVERY column (OK, I don't, I actually love it), but it's just precious!  At least I have TWO HOURS of soap viewing to look forward to now instead of three to just endure!!

And with that, I'm outta here.  Hope you have a faboo week. 


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APRIL 25, 2003

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Blast From the Past

Tina Roberts &
David Vickers

Dorian & David

Gretel Cummings &
Jenny Vernon

Mitch Laurence &
Tina Roberts
(Viki's Sister)

Cordero Roberts
Son of Clint &
off and on husband of

The other
Rachel Gannon,
Sandra P. Grant

Andy Harris
Antonio's ex-wife &
Max's sister

Carlo Hesser
Yummy Villain

Sophia Pellagrino
The "V" of OLTL

Eli Trager
Missing foster
kid of Carlotta's

Joe Riley
Joey & Kevin's
Viki's 1st Husband



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