There aren't many because when you have mature, happy, fulfilled, adult people around, they aren't usually needed. These are just guidelines to direct you to events and options of which you may not be aware:
1) Ho Names: To choose your Ho Name, take the name of your first pet as a child for the first name and the name of the street on which you lived as the last name. Adjust as is appropriate to create the perfect Ho Name. Ho Names are an essential part of your stay at the Ranch in order to safely conceal your true identity from real life issues such as employers, spouses, the IRS, etc.
2) Cloning - Here at the Sage Brush Ranch, there is no need to quibble over clients. Our expert research scientist, Mocha Huntington, has perfected her cloning process that will allow each ho to have a perfect specimen of her (or all of her) favorite client(s). If you wish to wrassle over a man rather than clone, engage your opponent in the creamed corn or jello pools and go for it. Speak with Reginald Jennings in the admin office regarding the procurement of a referee.
3) All rooms are soundproof and the walls are carefully padded. No one will hear you.
4) Video equipment is at the ready from a multitude of angles, should you choose to "capture the moment."
5) Mocha is able to utilize the cloning process to send a duplicate of yourself back to your old life if you'd like. See her about it.
6) A fleet of limos available for shopping and/or entertainment are at your disposal.
7) At the Sage Brush Ranch, we serve all of your favorite foods, cooked to your specifications by our chef, Ramone. Please leave your grocery list in the outbox on your door for pick up. All food served here is chemically altered to be calorie free while still retaining the full flavor you love. Additionally, the air at the Sage Brush has been treated odorlessly to invigorate you and work inside your body painlessly to burn away pesky fat deposits and sculpt your body into a work of art while you eat, sleep and play with no effort ever from you, well, except for the "exercise" you want! heh heh heh
8) Under no circumstances is any Ho permitted to engage in the activities commonly known as "house cleaning" or "work." All time and energy is to be directed toward recreational activities with the Ranch Members or other pleasurable pursuits. A happy Ho is definitely better bait to draw in more Members...more Members mean more dues paid and Sage loves his Ho's AND his money!
9) All group activities are subject to approval and photography by Sage.
10) The 9 home theater rooms are available at all times for viewing of ABC soaps or other media. High speed Internet is provided in all rooms with top of the line computers of your design and choice and the DVD closet is stocked from Amazon.com on an automatic basis.
11) ABSOLUTELY NO ALCOHOL OR ILLEGAL DRUG USE is authorized on the premises of The Sage Brush Ranch...until Sage personally inspects it for quality control. ;-) Turn any excess over to Lenore the Whore for storage and monitoring (this ensures that supply meets demand).
12) Prospective members may only enter The Sage Brush Ranch compound by sponsorship of Sage or a bonerfied Ho. No slackers! No posers! No loitering by turn downs!! Just get the fuck out!!!