December 31, 2003
Feeling better today after praying and working magic through a good bit of the night. I woke up early this morning to go to the grocery store before Eric had to go out on business stuff. Filled in some of the blanks on teh shelf, then came home and realized the things I should have gotten and didn't, so poor Eric will get a list on his way home.
Something I forgot to mention in my whine fest last night is that this wonderful contract that Eric's company secured requires an insurance endorsement that they don't have... of course, it's a very expensive one and they are trolling like mad to come up with a way to get it so they can sign the contract with this developer. That's primarily what they are doing today, as well as working on the truck issue of trying to resolve the ticket, blah, blah, buhlah. Stand 'em up and knock 'em down, one mountain at a time.
I realized this morning that today is actually New Year's Eve when I was driving to the store and heard announcements for a big shindig downtown. We don't celebrate often and I've not had the best of luck with NYE celebrations. I think the curse started with Paul (my first husband). In 1979, our first NYE together, we invited a couple that we knew to our apartment to play cards and ring in the New Year. Through almost the entire night, they made out on the couch, his hand inside her shirt, tongues everywhere, hand up the dress... Paul and I tried to make conversation with them (Ironically, the couples last name was "Cox" and if it's you, you should be ashamed of yourself even though it's 25 years later), but we found ourselves saying, "Alrighty, then" a good bit and cringing at what they might do when midnight hit. The next year, we went in with 4-5 other couples to charter a small yacht to tool us around the bay (we lived on Guam) and feed us catered food and have an open bar for the night. It cost something like $100 per couple (which was a huge amount back then), but we scrimped and saved to do it, round up a sitter and within an hour, we were both flat on the deck, dying. I discovered that I get horrible motion sickness on a boat and Paul rediscovered (with many more such discoveries to come over the next many years) that if you drink gigungian amounts of liquor in a short amount of time, your body will turn on you. After that, our NYE celebrations didn't get much better to the point that we just stopped celebrating them after a while.
I think the best ones I've had were with my kids, where we waiting up, watched the ball drop, drank some sparkling apple cider, then went to bed. Eric and I haven't done much. One year, we charted the arrival of midnight in all four time zones, starting at 9pm our time, making one wish as it chimed in on the East Coast, then 10pm in CST, 11pm in MST, then our own PST. Four wishes for each of the midnights in the country. That one was kind of sweet.
I figured in the interest of reflection, I'd look back over my New Years resolutions from last year to see how I scored. These are posted here for verification. Reprinted below:
Several people have written to ask if I have made New Year's resolutions this year and since I had not yet done so, I immediately set about it. I determined that these resolutions should be set in such a way as to foster my self-confidence and bring about an enjoyable result and contribute in a marked fashion to my happiness. After a great deal of thought, here are my resolutions for 2003:
1). I will eat quite a bit, with a focus on high fat and high carb foods. Potato skins, candy, cookies and bread have not been getting nearly enough of my attention and will take precedence.
I followed this one BEAUTIFULLY! Had plenty of the above mentioned items and only strayed for intermittent lapses into weight loss attempts. I figure I lost my mind during those times and should work to forgive myself.
2). I will get very serious about my weight. I want to gain at least 10 pounds this year, if not more.
Hurray! Another success story! In fact, I over-succeeded and gained an impressive 14 pounds!
3). I will take up drinking. I've never been very good at it and it's one of the things I've always wanted to master. I'm getting older and don't want to miss the boat on this one.
Sadly, I only had about 3 drinks this year and wasn't very good at it. My first failure.
4). I will spend more time on the computer and less time *out there* in the "real world."
Definitely! Another score here!
5). I will endeavor to be more rude to the stupid people of the world.
Nah, I got nicer, but when I needed to be direct and Dr Philish, I'm on it. So I'm more distilled, but also more assertive. Guess that's kind of a success.
6). I will do less housework and instead bark out orders to the people around me to accomplish necessary tasks (from my computer chair). I will practice "method barking" in front of the mirror each morning until I get the perfect snap to my voice to instill terror at the thought of noncompliance.
Got better at delegating tasks but didn't do much barking.
7). I will discover and frequently put into use a new catch phrase. Last year's "Pfft" served it's purpose well and will continue, but I need a new one that is even more dismissive and condescending.
I started writing "darlin" instead of just saying it and continued with the liberal use of "Pfft."
8). I will invest much more time into watching TV and spend more quality time alone doing so.
Yep! I found the joys of prime time and developed an affection for "Judging Amy," "Charmed" and lately, "Angel." (Does he get his baby back after the guy jumped into the pink goo with him?)
9). I will completely eliminated accursed "water" from my diet. Just say "no."
Almost completely succeeded in this one.
10). I will sleep at least 8-10 hours out of any consecutive 24.
Ha. Ha. Ha. But did start getting more sleep, so that's a good thing. Got much more aggressive about securing sleep time.
Well, that's it. I figure 10 is probably about all I can handle. OH Jeez, and I'm late! Here it is the 3rd and I haven't even gotten started!
OK, I'm looking at about an 80% success rate here... 70% if I lose points for the almost completely successful ones. Still, not too shabby.
For this year, I'm thinking lose the weight or the majority of it and create some form of financial security and prosperity. I'll go for it straight out this year instead of hedging my bets.
I'm feeling very peaceful today. Woke up and went outside to feed the community cat bowl and saw that I have not one, but two calla lilies blooming! When things were bad yesterday, I went outside to check them out, hoping for some encouragement from the Universe, but there was only one dying little brown lily and no signs of new blooms. (Wish I'd taken pictures, but didn't see the need for taking a picture of a nonblooming lily bed) Today, the brown calla lily is now white except for a brown corner and a whole new lily has sprouted. Heck, I can at least take a picture of THAT, right? Here we go!
Click the pics if you want to make them larger. Yesterday, it was all green leaves, no sprouts and the calla lily in the forefront was brown and dead. The one in the back is the new one that wasn't around yesterday. I also found a brown and white one WAY down in the greenery (pic on the far right) that I didn't see yesterday. My interpretation is that a new miracle is coming, a miracle is coming from some avenue I previously considered a dead deal and another miracle is coming, but it's from a hidden source. I'm curious to see how that all pans out, but I'm willing to let it happen in Goddess' time rather than my imposed timeline. Trusting the process and all.
I'll be following this entry with a Fatastic Journal type entry. Feeling a need to revamp that oft started and oft abandoned project.
Meanwhile, I've been thinking about a couple of the songs out there that have lyrics most people cannot decipher. In the interest of spreading joy and enlightenment, I offer these cryptic jingles for your reading (and humming) pleasure:
Fah who foraze!
Fah who foraze!
Fah who foraze!
For more information on the origin of this Whos Down In Whoville song, click here.
Theme to Josie and the Pussycats
Josie and the Pussycats
(come along now)
Josie and the Pussycats.
(heh, heh, heh)
I know I've printed these lyrics before, but they can't be emphasized nearly enough. It amazes me that Josie and the Pussycats use words like "perchance." How... Shakespearean of them!
So there's your clarification for the day as I walk placidly away, disappearing as I get closer to the horizon while in my wake, people say, "So THAT's what they were saying!"
*sigh* It's just what I do.
Speaking of placidly and the Desiderata haste and noise thought, I have determined that today, I will go placidly into my cluttered home and one piece at a time, one room at a time, render it into a masterpiece of White Trash elegance. Where there was chaos, let there be order! Where there was shame, let there be glory! (verily, I say!)
In other worlds, I really want one of these: http://www.holmesproducts.com/footbuddy/index.html
Damnable material nature of mine *pout*.
I can be bought. Oh yes! I can be bought!
So now on to the other part of my journaling question (which will be followed by my decluttering quest).
Have a wonderful new year and whatever you, remember that Katrina is walking, journaling proof that miracles are out there and just waiting for you to open your life to them. It doesn't matter what spiritual path you walk, what you consider to be holy or where the sacred fits into your life. Remember when we were kids and there were words written in blue letters behind a series of red lines (the original "Password" home edition game comes to my mind) and if you put a red film over them to make the lines disappear, you could see the words? Miracles are like that. The world is cynical enough that we are taught early on to put on our red glasses to make the miracles disappear. We are the ones who have to take off the filters and see and acknowledge the miracles when they come and be thankful for them. To be able to see and experience the world fully, both the seen and unseen, is a miracle and a gift in and of itself. To deny that is to close off a whole set of our senses and a whole world of glorious experiences. It's like when you learn to read and suddenly a universe of books that open windows to a million different stories. When you start training yourself to see the miracles, follow the trends and cycles in life and ride the wave the Universe puts you onto, it's a whole new world.
Yesterday, I fell off the ride for a bit and forgot that all things pass (like kidney stones) and life can turn around in a day or an hour or a split second.
Every time I hear a siren, I remember that someone's day just got a lot worse than mine.
Life is good. All things are transient and I'm back to enjoying the ride again. Thanks to all of you for your love and support through a bad day. With friends like you folks, I'm already extremely blessed. Not a bad baseline in which to engage life, I'd say.